Men and Child support. What is the answer?

reply to post by And Now What


Frankly, what bothers me most about your situation is the hypocrisy. Fine, she wants to run off and have nothing to do with the kids, let her. (Even thoguh it is the woman's choice, and the woman's choice alone to actually bring a child into the word.) But if a man does that, if he wants no part of the life of a child he never wanted, he will be thrown in jail.

I do not have kids nor have I ever been married. As I do not trust woman, I feel as though a vast amount of woman lure men into beliving they want to be with them in order to get preg and get child support like the man is a source of income. It does not take that much to raise a child. I feel there should be a reasonable number as to the cost of raising a child and it should be split between the man and woman 50/50 and all funds should be placed into an account where the funds can only be used for the childs needs, any extravegant purchases should have to be excepted between both the man and woman as well the man and woman should have 50/50 rights to see the child and raise a child. woman have to many rights when it comes to a child in court. both parties should not have a support cost that would not allow that person to sustain themselves to below what would be called poverty. AND if you cannot support a child DONT HAVE ONE.

reply to post by CaDreamer


I'm going to go somewhat tougher on you than other posts.....

You allege you are a professional earning a decent amount of money yet you complain you can't afford to live yourself after paying 30% of your wages in child support. I'm not buying it.

You knew the drill after your first marriage broke down then you went in to another marriage having more children. That was your second mistake.

You pay child support; most non-custodial fathers pay child support. That means nothing to me simply because I strongly doubt you pay even close to 50% of your children's day to day running costs. For all I know you could only be paying anywhere from $25.00 a month for all 3 children to perhaps $500.00 a month for all three. Hardly a good deal for the children and their mothers who take care of them for a majority of the time.

So when a father alleges he pays child support.....just how much child support is the question!

When a non-custodial father is self employed, we all know he cooks the books. What I get in child support per month does'nt even pay the cost of bread & milk for a whole week. I also have an almost adult son with a moderate disability; ya think his father pays his medical bills? The dental bills for all three? Help in school fees? Obviously I grow money trees out the back of my house! I wish!

On average, men earn around 20% more than women in the same profession. I earn alot less than my ex husband yet I manage feeding the four of us. I receive less than $6.00 per week for all three of my children; that's less than $2.00 each per child. The worst part is their father still whines he has to pay child support.

Sorry, you fail to impress. Perhaps next time you'll reconsider keeping your zip up or get that vasectomy!

reply to post by TheDevilOfLies

I think the key words in your whole post was that they were able to provide for their children to a point that was acceptable to society....I put the last part in there because what was acceptable then isn't now...
my mom and dad provided for us kids, but well, now days, it would be rather illegal in many states to keep your young child out till past midnight in the bar you were a bartender in.....
they often sent their yound kids into the mines or factories to help with the family's finances...we think it's more appropriate for these children to be in schools now days.
so well, I guess if we let mom and dad drag their kids to work with them, or put them to work for us, well, we could possibly be able to provide for our kids...

but, I've raised three kids up, and well, got to tell ya something, you can find yourself in a position where there is just no way that you can meet the needs, married, husband earning what was at one time decent money, and well, taxes taken out of his paycheck to support other families.....and well, it was financially rewarding to ditch the husband and his paycheck and you can preach about personal responsibility all you want, make lame statements such as you shouldn't have kids you can't afford (we could afford our kids when we had them!!)...but there is no way that someone should be able to live better, have more food on the table, a better home, medical care, affordable heat, and on and on, just by ditching the husband...
if you had a choice between leaving a sick child to suffer lacking healthcare that they needed, or separating from the wage earner and getting the medicaid.....I betcha I know what you would chose!!!

President Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC , 20500

RE: Time to be a dad.


Dear Mr. President,

I just saw your PSA on taking the time to be a father. I am a single father who would like nothing more. However my right to be a father has been denied by the Oakland County Friend of the Court. Without explanation I was denied equal rights and access to my child.

Why is this Mr.President? Let me tell you, the Friend of the Court is a corrupt organization who dose not care about children or families. What they care about is profit, and where dose that profit come from? The Federal Government, it comes from the government in the form of Title 4 D dollars.

Carol Rhodes a former Michigan child support enforcement officer turned whistle blower wrote in her book, Friend of the Court Enemies of the Family that the court to protect there profits will not issue joint custody to parents because there Title 4 D money is based on child support payments. The more the non custodial parent pays the bigger the payback from the Fed.

The custodial parent gets away with violating court orders because there is no money in it for the court to enforce them. The non custodial parent is threatened on a regular bases to keep the child support flowing while at the same time any complaints against the custodial parent go unnoticed.

It is therefore the Federal Government driving and creating this corrupt system. If you are thinking it’s about dead beat dads and getting them to pay their child support you are wrong. Dead beats have no money, only good upstanding people who care about there children do and for that they are treated as criminals, dead beat criminals.

Your PSA is offending, nothing has or will ever be done to fix the system because divorce is a for profit industry. The children will be the one’s who get hurt and there is not one politician who cares.


Good day sir..

reply to post by Artofcomedy

shared financial support equates to shared care and nurturing, are men willing to spend equal amount of time helping the kids with the homework, playing taxi driver, taking the kids to the doctors, ect???
someone mentioned that women usually get 20% less than men in the same profession, or something like that...
that's not exactly true, women who have no kids are overcoming that gap, so well, it's more like mothers are earning 20% less. do employers usually automatically devalue men that much simply because he's a father?? well, share the care and nuturing of your kids, and more than likely, you will be finding that employers will be doing the same thing to fathers.

reply to post by pauljs75


I would agree with you however firstly......lets say there are 3 children involved. Now tally up the rent, food and utilities. Most non-custodial fathers pay less than $500.00 per month in child support. Ya think that pays for 50% of the rent, food and utilities per month for all three children? We all know clothing and food for kids doubles and triples as they reach those pesky teenage years. My two giant sons alone are 6'3 and 6'7, already in size XL clothes and size 15-18 shoes, that are not readily available in shops, eat enough to feed a small army. Then you demand receipts of where your child support is going? Have you people gone completely mad??????

reply to post by MrWendal


simple answer

KNOW THE PERSON

whoa rocket science right

i know crazy

you dont KNOW a person after a few months, you BARELY know a person after a year depending on the relationship

im not going to play the dictionary game about what words mean or terms means

if you TRULY know the person and dont rush into anything YES some BAd things will still happen

its called life, but i guaran damn tee the prevalence of such instances would drop dramatically if people thought with their brains instead of their reproductive organs

reply to post by bambam1054


All custodial parents want is a fair go and to see to it at least 50% of their children's day to day living costs is paid in child support each month. A majority of non-custodial fathers do NOT pay that.

reply to post by dawnstar


i dont much go by societal idea, society is currently out of its mind

i dont think a kid needs much

according to my standards

food, clothes, education and love

you meet those things, have as many kids as you want

you say at the time you could afford it so you had kids

fine, but PERSONALLY i think its not just about if you can afford them then, but if you have a legit plan for their future

if you dont have a somewhat guaranteed future to the best of human ability then DONT HAVE A KID

its not rocket science, if you dont have stability, dont have kids

YES crap happens, but you CANT look around and tell me the majority of these people just had "crap" happen


they simply thought with their sex organ instead of their brain

reply to post by CranialSponge


That is not correct. Disappointed no one else had caught this.

Child support payments are usually not deductible or taxable
Child support is not taxable or deductible unless child support is being paid as a result of a written agreement or court order made before May 1, 1997. All agreements or court orders made on or after May 1, 1997 automatically follow the new rules. You can’t deduct child support if you pay it, and you do not have to pay tax on child support if you receive it.

www.cba.org...

Only if you are paying support from an agreement before '97 is it taxable.

And, the reason that I wanted to read this thread and reply in the first place:


Also, don't forget those deadbeat mom's. 6 years on with custody and not a penny in about 4 years of it. To be honest, I don't want her money.

reply to post by TheDevilOfLies


All kids need is food, clothing, education and alot of love?

How about a decent roof over their heads, electricity, water, cost of transport, food, clothing, school fees, sports fees, dental & medical costs!!!!!!!! Just the cost of food, clothing and education does'nt cut it.

A kid does'nt cost much? One child does'nt cost much but 2 or more do and even then that depends on their age because once a child reaches 12 years of age the cost doubles, by the time he reaches 14 then triples, by the time he reaches 16-17 years of age.....

I know, I have three children in their later teen years!

I empathize with you, I too have an ex and a daughter with that ex. I'm currently unemployed and I too do without more often than not. The ex pulling up brand new car and parking next to my 13 year old beater that is on it's last leg can be humbling at times. There are solutions, but first the government needs to get out of the picture, I'll outline in the next bit how that can be done.

1. No parent can move more than twenty miles from the other parent without consent from other parent. This is critical to the following.

2. Custody split 50/50, period. If one parent can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt there is physical abuse present in the relationship, this can be waived.

3. All disputes and initial divorce are settled in front of a jury. When a person files for divorce they are essentially suing you. The constitution spells out your right to one, yet I have yet to hear of a family court justice allowing a jury. No more activist judges arbitrarily deciding the fate of a child.

4. Stop child support collection agencies. This is a big money maker for the government. They skim 1% of collected sums (in my state). As long as the government has a stake in a child being deprived of one parent, they will keep this the norm. With an assumed 50/50 custody (many states allready have this though quite a few dont) money should not have to change hands.

5. If money is collected for whatever reason, it should be tax deductable and counted as income for recieving parent.

reply to post by bluemirage5


The custodial parent would need to pay for most of that wether they have kids or not, so they should not be applicable. If the custodial parent cannot afford rent and utilities and transportation, they shouldn't be a custodial parent. Child support should apply to their food, clothing school supplies etc. Not stuff that the custodial parent would need to pay for either way.

reply to post by bluemirage5

as far as the ability to provide stability....
ummm....ya, wages have gone down, at least in our case...
what has gone up is the cost of food, housing, electricity, HIGHER EDUCATION, HEALTHCARE, child care, and just about every necessity of life!! raising a kid spans close to 20 years, you cannot foresee the future...even if you took the crazy people in washington who can cause some really weird things to happen out of the picture. when I had my kids, housing for us was a little under 400, now I'd be lucky to find a small efficiency for what we were paying then. I could afford to work when they were real young.....in a few years though, the cost of childcare would have required my husband to subsidize any job I could get....my paycheck wouldn't cover it!! to say that if you cannot afford your kids, or provide them with future stability, don't have them kind of means that unless you are rich, you shouldn't have kids. only problem with that idea is that all those rich people out there want their kids to have the same number of servants working their tails off making their life carefree, fun, and profitable as theirs were...so, well, where would they get their servants from?? mexico???

reply to post by Aeons


I remember afew years ago one of my sons needed another pair of soccer boots. I'd already purchased a decent pair 6 months earlier but his feet on average grows twice a year. At the time I could'nt afford it and he said "but Mum, dad says he pays child support" and I said "yes he does" then I pull out the CSA payment and show him his father's monthly payments for the past 5 years ($24.00 a month for 3 kids).......THAT my friend came of a big shock to him when I told my son he is allocated approx $5.33 a month in child support that amounts to $1.18 a week!

reply to post by TKDRL


Believe you me, I pay for everything.

You are wrong my friend. Child support SHOULD be used towards the day to day running costs of a child !!! That is what it is for and for anyone to tell me otherwise is an idiot!

Well to respond to the father who has 3 kids, you made the choice to have children, then you need to step up and take responsibility, I agree with an earlier post that said that you probably aren't paying close to 50% of your children's daily needs.
I am a single mother, I have a wonderful 6 year old, and I did get child support for 5 years, then just one day he up and quit, he also up and quit talking to her. All because he didn't understand that life is no longer about what we want but what our children need, and what is best for them. He couldn't get his own way so he decided to punish his child and make her question why.
There are times its been tough and that money would have come in handy, but you know I don't want nor need his money, and it will be too soon if I ever hear from him again. I could be nasty and go after him, and where as he is an American, they could go after him harder then if he was Canadian, but why bother, if he wants to be childish and punish his child, then he's not good enough to be in her life anyway, and she is far better off without him.
As for making things even, when you only have your children on the weekends thats not sharing 1/2 the expences or half the time. If you stopped to calculate the amount of food they eat every day, the clothing they need every season, or in my daughters case shoes every couple of months, The money's needed every week or two from school for one function or another. Not to mention sports and equipment, because what parent wants their child to be a couch potato all the time, plus birthday parties they get invited too, need I continue on.
My daughters sperm donor actually told me once that he couldn't afford to send her anything for her birthday, my response was neither can I, but someone has to give her a birthday, If I don't do it, then who will, it has to come from somewhere, which usually means that we the parents (responsible ones) need to sacrifice to give it to them no matter what. Kids aren't that fussy when they are little a card that says you remembered is often enough, but not calling or sending anything is not acceptable, no matter how broke you are.
To all the men out there who are complaining about having to pay child support, I have one answer, then keep your pecker in your pants as my mother would put it, to the Women out there who have to pay child support, keep your dang legs closed, if you don't want the responsibility.
To all the deadbeats both men and women, because I know there are both out there, Grow Up, take responsibility, and life most certainly is not about you anymore it is about the children.
To those single parents out there barely getting by, I commend you and you need to be proud of yourselves, and what you have chosen to do for your children, They will remember what sacrifices you made for them one day.
May God bless all good parents.

reply to post by dawnstar


My rent goes up yearly and end of this month I'm paying $1800.00 per month. Thats Sydney for you! Yes I could go in to subsidized housing and pay less than $200.00 a week rent but the waiting list is approx 10 years. By then, my youngest will be 26 years of age.

reply to post by bluemirage5


That's basically what I said. It should go toward the kid, not the parent. The only fair way to do it is to break down how much the kid costs in food, clothes, etc, that only goes for the kid. Split that in half, and there is the monthly child support.