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Do I have a negative spirit attached to me? Please help.

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posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 01:47 AM
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The story of what happened to me last year is extremely bizarre and very long. I would like to explain most of it in a concise way that helps put into context what I am going through now, so I will do my best to illustrate the main points. If anyone has questions I will elaborate.

Sometime between September and November of last year I was in mental hospital for a month. This is the story leading up to that point: I wanted some clarification on whether or not I had spirit guides communicating to me through my dreams, so I began to use a dowsing crystal or pendulum to ask yes or no questions. Around this time I was also using tarot cards. Believing that dowsing was successful I downloaded and printed out a piece of paper with letters and numbers on it. I became convinced from the messages I was receiving through the pendulum, dowsing chart and tarot cards that I had been an extraterrestrial in a past life. I became obsessed with asking questions and receiving answers.

I have no timeline for the rest as everything seems to blur together. I asked to see proof that I was receiving communication from the ET that knew me before I came to Earth. I saw thin red lights in the sky, shooting very fast, on two separate nights. I began to lose my grip on my regular life until there came a point where I believed my possessions, and paper specifically, were allowing negative energy into the physical world. I began throwing out my possessions and began to feel like I was sensing the presence of demons. I eventually heard noises in my room. At the same time a fly was crawling up my nose, I looked at my mother's face and it looked blue as if she were dead. I felt so terrified that I prayed for what feels like two days. As I prayed I looked at the trees and they appeared to have monstrous faces in them. I continued rocking and praying until I recall seeing a Garden of Eden-like image strongly embedded in my mind. The terror disappeared. This is the point in which I essentially lost my dominant personality.

After this point, I was speaking Biblical and mathematical concepts and felt completely serene and confident. I became obsessed with the concept of infinity. The way I spoke was not myself. I called myself by the ET name that had been given to me during my dowsing sessions and believed I was fully her. I was also not freaked out over the fact that so many of my possessions had been tossed away in garbage bags. I also believed that a pandemic was going to sweep across the US soon. I eventually refused to wear clothes anymore. I was hospitalized by family at this point.

During my hospital stay, I was absolutely convinced of this ET persona. There was a complex backstory for it, that more or less raised myself up on the level of some kind of Mother Goddess. It's painful for me to remember the strange things I did in the hospital, but there were also strange things that happened to me. For instance, I felt a magnetic pull from trees that I still have no logical explanation for. I drew a glyph in the sand in the recreational area of the hospital that seemed to be more of a channeling than an idea. Later on the glyph had been modified in a strange way that no tools found nearby could account for.

When I got out of the hospital my real personality slowly returned to me and now, in retrospect, I believe that I was manipulated. Whether by demons or not I don't know, one could probably classify it that way. The dowsing/chart/tarot card use, combined with my extreme gullibility and eagerness to believe something so fantastic, turned me into a target. I do not believe I hallucinated in a psychotic sense the strange things I described prior to the hospital.

I am still not sure of what I think of myself after the point of 'snapping' that I mentioned (after the Garden of Eden-like image). It's worth mentioning that I had never read much of the Bible or believed much in the way of it. I cannot account for the way I behaved, I have never acted like that at any point my entire life. I don't know if something had entered me then although it does feel that way. The way I acted absolutely did more harm than good. It harmed my family and my friends because they were so worried about me.

The first few months after my release from the hospital were filled with extreme depression and self-loathing. I was in therapy and HEAVILY medicated. I suffered some pretty intense side-effects from medication even in the hospital, and they still had me on cocktails after I was out. But I was recovering. I was making good strides toward acceptance and going back to school and hanging out with friends. Then part two of the nightmare came into play.

The medications seemed to be the catalyst. I have been diagnosed with OCD my whole life, but the obsessive thoughts I had were ALWAYS manageable and never had me seriously depressed. But not long after I was starting to get back into my normal hobbies I was hit with symptoms of it that were so terrible they had me living in fear of even thinking. I was also feeling extremely distressful bodily sensations, that luckily went away after getting off of certain medications but not before it had done its damage. It was like an infection spread through my brain, contorting each and every thing that I loved into some kind of horrible or disgusting thought that would bother me for sometimes a full week or more before moving onto the next thing. The thoughts were extremely pervasive and led me to suicidal thoughts on more than one occasion (though I have never acted on them and I am currently not having them anymore). I became desperate for medications that would do something to get rid of the thoughts but nothing to date has helped. In fact I am doing better OFF the medications than I have been on them.

The thoughts target people I love. Things that I love. They make it uncomfortable to look someone in the eye. It is not someone else's voice I'm hearing but my own, saying and suggesting things I find absolutely horrible or disgusting. These thought-patterns have gotten very specific and sneaky, finding ways to try to make me believe lies, making associations with many things I treasure so that I have to fight extremely hard to ignore the awful thought. I spend a great deal of mental and emotional energy trying to think normally. It affects my self-confidence, the way I interact with strangers, family and friends. It is destroying my happiness and has been going on for just about a full year now. I put the hospital behind me but this just won't stop. I can only describe it as mental anguish and constant torture.

In addition to these thoughts I feel physical sensations in my head. Mostly on the left side of my temple, sometimes in the center of my forehead in the third-eye area. It is a strange tingling/pressure sensation that I only felt during and after the hospital, never in my life before any of this happened. It is not as bad as it's been in the past year, there have been occasions where my head felt like it was throbbing and undulating all over. I have had my head scanned and examined in multiple ways by doctors and the results turned out normal. I have no explanation for the sensations but it does seem to correlate with the negative thoughts.

I have begun believing that this is a negative spirit or energy that has somehow latched onto me. I don't know if it is the same energy that messed with me when I was dowsing and all of that. But I need help, I really do. I need to know if my suspicion is correct, I want to know who I can go to that won't scam me, because I'm already out quite a bit of money from a psychic that either scammed me or was unable to help. I can't afford paying much more. I pray everyday, to God and to Jesus, to help me. I am reading the Bible now for the first time in my life but I don't feel like I can do this alone. If anyone can give me suggestions or theories as to what might be going on in my life and how to address this situation I will be grateful. I will look at all personal messages as well.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story.

edit on 14-3-2011 by starhill because: Adding content.




posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 01:53 AM
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In the easiest way possible for me to say this, I highly recommend a therapist. I am not calling you weird nor do I think you're weird. I just think it would be safe for you to discuss this with your therapist. If you're a guy, I highly recommend a girl therapist. If you're a girl, vice-versa. Good luck with your endeavors



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 01:57 AM
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reply to post by Skate
 


Thank you for your concern. I am a woman and I have been in therapy... actually I have been to three different therapists in the last year and I have an appointment tomorrow with a cognitive-behavioral therapist I have already seen many times. I really am trying to do what I can from all fronts, but if this is a spiritual problem then I don't know how much therapy will help.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:00 AM
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What kind of actions or thoughts are present when your possession is occurring? I do believe that it is possible for people to open gateways that allow extra dimensional beings to inhabit our bodes. I also know it can be very tiring and maddening. I find these negative 'energies' attach themselves to people and harvest off their negative emotions. Your best defense against any kind of threat is to be around people you love, to show them you love them, and to engage in activities with people you care about.

Go outside and be around nature. Watch the things you think about because negative thoughts invoke the rite of negative creatures.

As a disclaimer, I'm not a doctor. I don't practice Pagan rituals, or any form of magick. I have a small awareness of the occult. I hope the best of your future endeavors.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:05 AM
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reply to post by starhill
 

Don't get involved with the psychs again if you can possibly avoid it. Find someone who is willing to use natural methods that don't use drugs.

A lot of the feelings and experiences you have related are not that uncommon. You could probably find people in your own area, and for sure on the internet, who have had similar experiences.

My chosen teacher tells me, and many others say the same, that we have all been ETs in past lives. Various forms of malevolent psychic attacks are also quite common, but if you only experience them as sensations, then they could be from your own past experience. Things can happen which "turn on" recall of such past events, which can suddenly radically alter your viewpoint on life.

Try to stay calm about what you are experiencing and try not to be scared. Being upset and scared in turn upsets others around you, and if they don't understand what's going on with you they can react in ways that aren't very smart.

There are lots of good people out there who offer help with experiences like this. Don't accept a psych label or psych drugs. They are worse than worthless.


edit on 14-3-2011 by l_e_cox because: spelling error



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:28 AM
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The human mind unable to grasp something as deep as that or of big of a change. There's only what we perceive as negative as 'blockages'. If in a state of mind of fear like the trees looking terrified and what not, you'll only see fear. And there's bountiful amounts of it. It's the learning blocks of life really.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:29 AM
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You're characterization of a "negative energy" is spot on.

I don't know much about possession or any other such 'takeover' of the consciousness. From my own experience though, I can say that almost any extreme psychosis, drugs or dreams will expose you, open you up, and make you vulnerable to negative influences. Making bargains 'with the darkness' will do that too. These happenings may or may not be spiritual in nature but they always beget more negativity. I would suggest doing a self-check in several areas of your life:

- The company you keep
- Your home environment
- The media your consume (books/movies/etc.)
- Your prevailing thought patterns

On top of all this, I'm sensing an extreme bi-polar personality. Did you leave that out of your narrative? Please forgive me if I am mistaken.

Perhaps there's a more spiritual component too but, of that, I'm unawares.

To my knowledge, crystal doesn't impart significant qualities to spiritual events. Tarot might be effective in that it opens up channels/pathways in your subconscious that you wouldn't ordinarily use to make significant connections. These aren't strong areas for me, so those are just my perceptions.

I can see three options:

If you were taking heavy drugs you might have been vulnerable to all kinds of spirit influences. If this is the case I would try no to make sense of any of it and just seek more positivity in your life instead.

It's possible that you were hallucinogenic episodes, or otherwise drug-induced disassociative experiences. You would have to reflect on your own psychology to glean any meaning from them.

Or you are under the influence of a remote energy, in which case I have absolutely no advice for you other than "read the bible faster".

Sorry, I wish I could be more help. You sound sincere in needing help and I agree you should seek a therapist.

Much Love,
CitizenOne
edit on 14-3-2011 by CitizenOne because: Word correction.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:34 AM
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reply to post by WraithXV
 



Originally posted by WraithXV
What kind of actions or thoughts are present when your possession is occurring? I do believe that it is possible for people to open gateways that allow extra dimensional beings to inhabit our bodes. I also know it can be very tiring and maddening. I find these negative 'energies' attach themselves to people and harvest off their negative emotions.

I'm sorry to hold back details but it is really embarrassing for me to specifically describe some of the thoughts, they are all variety of disgusting and disturbing. I do not behave any differently though I will stiffen up or perhaps visibly recoil at an especially unpleasant thought. I lose track of my speech sometimes.

I believe something along the lines of what you described is occurring. If I didn't have the physical sensations in my head it might be easier to accept a psychological explanation.


Your best defense against any kind of threat is to be around people you love, to show them you love them, and to engage in activities with people you care about.

Go outside and be around nature. Watch the things you think about because negative thoughts invoke the rite of negative creatures.

Thanks for the advice. I am trying to do all of that as often as I can. Also I am amazed at how much dark and scary stuff I used to fill my head with, which I avoid now. Occasionally I indulge my curiosity with something scary but I could do with less of it still. Those are all good things that I will keep doing/try to do more of.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:35 AM
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Interesting story, and I am sorry for the turmoil you have been through, definitely sounds terrifying. Did this start happening more after the "dowsing crystal, tarot cards, pendulum" thing? I have seen threads on here and other info about how certain rituals, sounds, chanting, etc open gateways to good and bad places. I am not sure if that is true or not but it kinda sounds like your situation. Either way you will be fine in time, hang in there.



Deebo



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:46 AM
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Hi m8,

From a shamanic point of view, yes it it possible that negative entities can become attached to you. these negative entitys or Demons as there are known in christian cultures are basicly entities from other dimensions that cross over into ours.There are gate keepers between the dimensions that for the most part keep them at bay.These gatekeepers are known by different names in different cultures.In the Christian culture the most powerful of these gatekeepers is known by the name of Archangel Michael.To invoke him you only need to say his name three times.Then wait a few seconds then ask him in a loud clear voice to protect you and to form a barrier of light around you. after that say the word Amen or say "it is done".

hope this helps.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 02:57 AM
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I want to make a simple point by asking a question before I give you an answer. The question is, "Have all of the things you've done (tarot, seeing psychics, being heavily medicated) been beneificial or detrimental to you?" God has forbidden people from partaking in all of those things (maybe the medication part could be argued in some circumstances) because they open us up to lying and deceiving spirits. A lying spirit could in essence speak to you through a psychic or a medium, and then work to orchestrate things in such a way that makes it appear as if things came true. Not all things that appear miraculous are from God. Signs and wonders can be given to make it appear as if God is behind it, but he isn't. When it comes to the spiritual side of things, there are no gray areas. There are things that are of God and his spirit, and then there are things that are not of God...evil things.

God desires you to have a clear and sound mind. Jesus came so that you may have life, and have it abundantly. Being caught up in the stuff you have been in has not lead to abundant living for you, but rather confusion. God is not the author of confusion...therefore, those things that led you down that path were not of God. God certainly has a plan for your life. Understand also, that Satan certainly has a plan for you as well, and that is why he has been working overtime on keeping you oppressed. You've been missing out on what Christ came for, and that is to set you free from the things that bind you. If you truly want to be set free from that, then you need to continue to seek God out. Personally, I found that I needed to stop participating in the things that were not of God, cry out to Jesus to forgive me for my shortcomings, and I also invited him to be the Lord of my life. This is what it truly is to be saved. In that moment, the negative weight came off of me. I can only attest to what I know to be true and to have genuinely worked in my life. I suggest you get in contact with a local Calvary Chapel church, or an Assemblies of God Church, talk to the pastor, share your experiences with them, and ask for some help, so that you don't go through this alone. Best wishes!



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 03:07 AM
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reply to post by l_e_cox
 


Thank you for the warning. I will not be using drugs again, that is absolutely for sure. I am glad to be in a state where I know that drugs aren't lending to certain thoughts. It's one more thing I can rule out as part of the problem. What kind of natural methods would you recommend?

I manage to stay calm for the most part, whenever I am upset I try to keep it private. I'm careful about what I talk about around my family and friends. I use to talk about paranormal stuff all the time but now it feels like I'll just remind them of the weirdness of last year so I hardly ever do.

Your theory is a possibility, but I am not sure I will ever understand enough in this lifetime to have a firm opinion. I try not to think about past lives because I have no insight on it and so I just end up confused. Though I am open to doing and thinking about whatever it takes to get my life back on track now.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 03:13 AM
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reply to post by OneLife
 


Could you elaborate on fear a bit more? I do feel like the fear I felt when I saw the trees with monstrous faces was affecting my perceptions.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 03:23 AM
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reply to post by starhill
 

The following is a serious question...
...asked from concern for you, a background in Pharma and experience.

Does it still happen when you are on your medication?



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 03:31 AM
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reply to post by starhill
 


www.kheper.net...

Follow this link and use it DAILY. I know that it seems complicated, but it will help you. Let me know how it works as you should have immediate improvement upon completion. If you decide to go this route, do not use drugs or alchohol. Prescription or not. This is a harmless working and it will only do you good.

You should have learned how to banish/shield before experimenting with what you did.
Let this be a lesson to anybody who experiments with the arcane blindly.

Best of luck and please don't be a stranger.
^A^



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 03:38 AM
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reply to post by starhill
 


It sounds like pure-o (Purely Obsessional OCD) . Medication in conjunction with Cognitive-behavioral therapy seems to be the best form of treatment.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 04:32 AM
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reply to post by starhill
 


Hi,
Interesting story, I must say. I have noticed you have said you have been to therapy. The funny thing is with therapy, the main thing they will always tell you, Is that only you can change yourself, or your reality. And yet you pay big bucks for that? I myself have been there and done that too. I am not going to be able to help you too much, only because I do not know the full story. But as for this evil spirit you think that has attached it self to you! well there is 2 possibilities I can see. It is your alter ego, your dark side, so to speak, that seems to want to hold on to you. If that is the case, you and only you can alter your perception, on this reality. To do this, you only need to focus on more positive things, things you enjoy. Yes you will still get bad thoughts come through, but what you have done so far, if that works, then keep doing it every time a bad thought even slips in.

Now what most do not know, that every world has 2 dimensions. A 3Dimension and a 4dimension. Each world that supports life, has both. And yes we can tap into other worlds Dimensions too. But each world only has 2. I could go into more depth, but I do not want to confuse you. The 4Dimension we do not see with our human eye. I like to call them the stuck ones. It's sort of like an underworld or between worlds, how ever you want to call it.. When we enter a world, the first thing we see is light. When we leave the world, the last thing we see is light. If for any reason, we do not follow the light, or do not end up seeing the light, we get stuck into the darkness. When this happens, our energy can get confused and not really know what happened or what is happening. Some just stay asleep, as it is dark, they feel that it must be sleep time. But some awaken. When they have woken or have been woken up, they get cranky, only because they can not see. But as you know when people go blind, there other sense's kick in, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, even intuition. Now until they become use to these sense's, they are really just wondering in the dark, not knowing where they are, or where they are going. But once they have master there sense's they become aware of everything around them, and can even sense us, as we can do the same in this 3rd dimension. Now if you are sensing one of these close to you, and you do not like it. This is where you must show no fear. I say this, because this is what they can sense the most. We learn this from animals, in this 3rd dimension. As they too can sense fear in us humans. But they also can sense other beings in the 4dimension, dogs are very good with that one. You can even test to see if the one that you feel attached to you is bad or good. All you need to do is go to a park or something, where they allow dogs. and just walk past a couple, and if they bark at you. Make sure they are looking at you, and not on the side of you or even behind you. Because sometime when this happens and a dog sense's it, most often, what ever is near you, will hide behind you, in fear of the dog. See there is the fear again. if the dog barks at you though, do not fear it. because that is what it wants you to do. I have come across even the biggest dogs, and if you show no fear to them, they will be more inclined just to bark at you, than attack. More of a warning bark, to keep away. Now if this happens and a dog barks at you, then you can be certain, there might be a stuck one near you. If you get no barking, then it is only lost, and not trying to scare you. They way to tell if it's a bad one, and not just a good one hiding behind you, Is that the dog will become very aggressive, this is because the one that is following you, is trying to stir the dog up, and trying to scare the dog. Which then you know what happens when we do that. Please make sure you do this while the owner has there dog on the leash. Always protect yourself.

The only main reason's they will be there is, because they sense your fear, and like it, or, they just sense you, and follow you, because they are lost, but not trying to scare you. Now telepathy works, I know people will say I can not prove it. But I believe if something can sense you, then they most likely can sense your emotions. Which in turn, is a form of telepathy. Now when I sense one near me, and this happens quite often, I always show no fear, and will ask them in my mind, or you can talk to them aloud, they will respond either way. But I ask them to leave, or tell them if they see a speck of light anywhere to follow it. If they do not listen the first time, try again. If they have not listened again, try it more firmly, even with a stern voice, out aloud if you wish, but you can do this in your mind too. It's the vibrations they will sense, and the more intense the vibration is, the more they will get scared, and move along. This is why, it is a must, to not fear them. Because if you come across one, that has been around for a while, and they enjoy putting fear into people. These are the one's, that can make things happen around you. Only to increase your fear. But if you do not fear them from the beginning they get bored and move on. Remember they only thrive on fear, because that is what they can sense the most. Sort of like when you get goose bumps, if you do something really exiting. It's not so much the goosebumps they get, but a higher vibration. And this is what they enjoy.

I hope this helps a little, And remember if they are harmless, and only following you without intentionally scaring you, you are quite welcome to let them be. Most of the time, when you ever go for a walk, in a crowded area, there will be too many vibrations around, and you might all of a sudden not sense them anymore. Only because they found another to follow. Most of the time, they are just looking for guidance, as like a blind man, enjoys sometimes, when crossing the street. Take good care, and I hope you take this information on board, you will find it works. It's worked for me for 17 years

Much love

MP



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 05:28 AM
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www.amazon.com...

Good book - many of the visualisation techniques and procedures are about strengthening your will and your mind and reducing the influence of medication and addictions.

I used them - and have not been hassled since.

Good book - cannot see it working against any existing therapy you are undertaking and will work in harmony with it.

All the best to you.

Thank you for your frank and deep explanation of what you are going through,

It takes strength to open up like that.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 06:00 AM
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I understand what your saying there Mr.P , But it seems a bit full on to be just grounded astrals. It seems to be a bit too manipulative.You seem to getting attacked on a couple of different levels.
One of the main things to remember is to be strong, Dont be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back off.
If theres a Holistic store close to you get yourself in there and get a Black Tourmaline crystal,wear it.
The other thing is if your not eating properly, u need to get fresh fruits & veg, organic, if possible and a decent natural vitamin supplement. Cod liver oil is best with Vit D and all the Omegas.Get a good one with mercury taken out.Cut out any chemicals from your diet.Especialy flouride & aspartame,but any processed foods in general.
Sleep is the other important thing,In your case 10 hours a day with regular bed times,I might sound like your mum here but its vitaly important.Your psyche is repaired when you sleep. Dont sit in the house all day get out and walk about,in the country side if possible along a beach is best.
If you dont have any pets get one, dog or a cat. animals can be great healers, especialy for emotional problems.
Invoke either of the two archangels Gabriel or Michael, especially before you sleep, ask them to protect you and keep you shielded. If you feel something is trying to attack you, invoke them straight away. say there name out loud three times and they will be there with you immediately. Dont be afraid to talk to them either because they will listen,and talk back to you as well if your mind is clear.

I would try this first before i would go down the path of pescription medicine.



posted on Mar, 14 2011 @ 06:03 AM
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And i Forgot If your loooking to take your mind oof things get a book called "Angels In My Hair by Lorna Byrne" shud be available in any book store have a read of it. Good Luck





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