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Why women are unhappy

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posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 05:42 AM
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reply to post by Merigold
 





One day when and if I have children I will quit my job and take on the most important job in the world, that of raising children

The irony is that men are forced out of their traditional jobs in order for 2 women to share that job so the women can fell fulfilled.

Once the man is devalued in the work place he is then devalued by his wife, she gets a divorce and places the kids with a childminder rather than with the father who suddenly became not suitable to raise those children.

Of course I'm generalizing here, but it pretty much sums things up.




posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 06:19 AM
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reply to post by midnightbrigade
 


nah; i havent gone thru childbirth but i really dont think passing a kidney stone wud cut it. i really think men totally fail to appreciate the physical pain women deal with from time to time (im not talking about period pain here); but you wouldnt know i guess unless you could inhabit someone else's body to see. (having said that: touch wood: i have no desire to pass a kidney stone to find out either...)

i was just kidding around with the women are superior stuff.... or was i??


no, i dont approve of taking men or their contribution or impotance for granted either. the best solution would be to have both sexes happily interracting with each other and at peace with their roles and what they need to do. im an optimist. maybe it will be possible some day. i hope so. i think some couples do manage to sort it out and be happy together.

re: housework and chores; well im probably happier doing women's traditional stuff and it doesnt bother me. id rather not take out the garbage or fix the car or mow the lawn. so i have no problem with that; i think there are reasons why the roles have adapted in that way.

(but i also dont approve of men doing nothing, while women do all the chores. i think if both people work and the woman's doing all the housework too, the man should be doing SOMETHING else to contribute; not just sitting down at the end of the day. Unless he works and the woman doesnt; then it more fair. but like you say: there are chores men can and i think should do too; if they arent gonna do housework.)

however i guess, for some mechanically minded non maternal women and a few DO exist; then they should be able to do what they like. the same with some men who arent into the traditional 'men' stuff.

but for the majority who are happier with the traditional roles, i think these should be accepted by society as being fine. i dont see any reason why the average man should have to look after small babies and kids; and quite frankly; i think women are better adapted biologically to do this; (in general) while men are better adapted to do other things; = like providing for and protecting th efamily etc. (building rockets even, i dont mind).

if men were biologically adapted to take on the childrearing role; nature would let them know - like the way male penguins look after the chick after the mother leaves. but in the case of humans/monkeys, this isnt generally the case.



[edit on 15-10-2009 by rapunzel222]



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 06:26 AM
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Originally posted by Davo163
Just throwing this out there, but perhaps women – on a global scale – are progressing through the "third stage of Personal Power" (this might sound a little 'New-age', so apologies to those that don't subscribe to these doctrines)

As we travel through life we grow and evolve – however this is not only an experience that happens on an individual level but on a group level as well.

What I have read about empowerment of the self (attainment of personal power) is that it progresses through four stages: Revolution, Involution, Narcissism and Evolution.

Revolution: the women's liberation movement in the 1960s.
Involution: the expansion of the self help age which started in the 80s.
Narcissism: the period being experienced now in the 00s (the ego self cannot be satisfied)
Evolution: if the above is an indication, still 10 years away.



oh well that explains it. i must be in the narcissistic phase.

ha ha ha



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 06:30 AM
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oh, another issue i think i see: is i think women may feel they are valued by men in a lot of cases, based on their looks (whereas men may feel valued or judged by other standards as well as just looks). as a result i think a lot of women get a bit b...tchy when they think this or feel that they've lost status somehow/or influence with the opposite sex all of the sudden just based purely on their physical features.

i think men tend to judge attractiveness on a visual basis more so than women do. i think its innate biology; ... altho women certainly do too in many cases.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 06:52 AM
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The unhappiness could just be a ploy (conscience or subconscious) to aggravate men in general. Men operate by being able to fix problems as a driving force. by not being able to fix a problem it confounds and confuses them. Natural male reaction at this point is either to ignore the unfixable situation or to become angry (fixing by brute force).

That or all women are just nuts to a degree to a male perspective.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:08 AM
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Ladys dont wonder why men no longer feal obgelated to help raise YOUR KIDS. yea i said YOUR KIDS .let a brake up or devorce hAppen and what happens NEXT . Heck you even get abortions when you want to .It doesent matter what we feal or want DOES IT.
There no longer our kids I know i raised 6 boys made a home and life
dont drink do drugs or ever cheat on her but It all GOING .
Then you say child birth is sooo tearble oo men would never do it .
you have the GREATEST GIFT of all bring new life into the world fealing it grow and change .Id give ANYTHING to know that fealing just watching my wife give birth was INCREADABLE. i cant begine to know the accutl fealing and would love to.
BUt for the sake of argument the pain just that .You think its painfull huuu think men never have pain that BAD// think again .
Try lousing an eye IM missing my right eye got a nife in it and was not in pain for a few hours or even a few days but for almost a year there were days that all i could do was lay a scream from the intense pain (what was left of the eye was being rejucted from my body))
Beging the doc to take it out . You think child birth is so bad try doing it every day for a year streaght. (PS dont tell me your preggers for nine months thing ooo brouther My wife was preggers 3 times with me and she was just as happy as a clam untill the final 6 to 8 hours



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:09 AM
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I believe that both men and women are unhappy because we are letting "society" dictate how we should live our lives. Women are told that being a homemaker and taking care of children is demeaning and not something to be proud of and that they should want to go out into the work force and fill a traditionally male role. if, for whatever reason, they do end up staying home and taking on a more traditional role they often seem a bit ashamed that they're not out there conquering the business world.

The same goes for Men, we're expected to be sensitive, nurturing and understanding and we're supposed to "get out of the way" of our wives who are "breaking free from domestic servitude. At the same time, though, men are still judged mostly by how large their paycheck is. We're also still expected to do "manly things around the house" like fix things, carry heavy stuff and kill spiders. If you can't be sensitive and understanding than you're a "macho jerk" but if you can't fix a tire or carry something heavy you're "a pansy".

"Society" has everything turned around backwards and has both men and women chasing what they've been told will make them happy when, more often than not, people might be happier with a more traditional home life. When we don't live up to the illusion fed to us by society we feel like failures and are sometimes treated as such by those around us.

Everything is too damn complicated these days. When did we decide that we couldn't live a happy and fulfilling life through traditional means? I think we're all modern enough to understand if our wife doesn't want to sped everyday cooking and washing our underwear, we're not going to lock her up like this is Iran or something.

Why do we have to make women feel ashamed to be mothers and home makers?



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:12 AM
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It would be interesting to know the ages of these women who aren't happy that were polled.

If I had to gauge my happiness levels over the last 20 years, I'd have to say that my happiness levels have been relatively stable since I hit my 40s.
Before that, it was all over the place.

Just wondering if the combination of stress AND hormones are the reason for
a lot of perceived unhappiness in younger women?
I mean they have a LOT on their plate to deal with.
Career ambition, children, marriages or relationships etc. Throw into that mix, body image insecurity, hormonal imbalances, pressure to look good and it's way too much for any individual to deal with let alone be blissfully happy about IMO.

I found as I got older and things that I thought were important to my peer group at the time, are no longer relevant. This upped my level of life satisfaction ( I don't really like to use the word happiness as no one seems to be able to agree on what exactly it is) .



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:40 AM
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Originally posted by chiron613
So, if women have so much more than they did in 1972, why are they unhappier? Because women are still expected to perform their traditional roles as homemaker, cook, housemaid, and so on. While they get to work a full week just like the men, they then get to come home and cook dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the kids, and so on. When a couple's careers require a change, it is usually the woman who is expected to abandon her career to move with the man, or to give it up altogether to care for children.

So while women have done well in moving into traditionally male roles, men have not moved much to take over traditionally female roles. Who stays home when a kid gets sick? Who runs the kid to the doctor? Who runs them back and forth to their various activities? Usually the mother.


Ding! Ding! Ding! Right answer!

If I had an administrative assistant, a personal shopper, an on-demand handyman, a maid, a nanny, a tutor for the kids, a cook, and a gardener, I
would not be unhappy any more. My husband has all those things and he is just peachy! (Well, OK, he does help with the cooking).

And also don't forget many men expect their lady to look gorgeous, be a vixen between the sheets, and never grow old while they are doing all this.

Even ladies who stay home still need help when her man gets home from work. Otherwise he has worked his eight-to-ten hour day, while she works a sixteen hour day, or more, waiting on him and the kids and cleaning up after them at home. It can be quite demeaning even under the best circumstances and it sometimes feels extremely unfair to be treated like a domestic servant. And the homemaker LIVES at her job, so she never gets to "go home" like her partner does; there is literally never a day off when you are a homemaker. So even housewives get unhappy and burned out from time to time.





[edit on 15-10-2009 by OuttaHere]



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:51 AM
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I read the article linked to.

I find it interesting that they claim women are more unhappy than in 1972, but they do not show the results from whatever poll was done in that year, to be used as a comparison, or what questions were asked, and if the questions were the same for both polls.

Where are the results of the poll that was done in 1972, because I would love to see it.

Times have changed, and so have issues that affect how anybody feels, including men.

Was there a poll done for men? Are they happier? Why only a poll done on women in the article?

How interesting only women were polled for this article. So basically, we have the same sexist bull going on, since 1972!



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:51 AM
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Originally posted by Shadowflux
if, for whatever reason, they do end up staying home and taking on a more traditional role they often seem a bit ashamed that they're not out there conquering the business world.


can't speak for everyone obviously, but I'm not ashamed of being a stay at home mom. I enjoy being home with my kids. (Well, when they're not having temper tantrums anyway.
) By staying home I know that they're taken care of. I don't have to worry that they aren't getting fed when they're hungry, cleaned up when their messy or have a dirty diaper, or worry that the million other little things they need get taken care of while I'm working.

The problem is when someone asks what you do, meaning job, and you tell them they tend to look at you like there's something wrong with you for not being out there working. A lot of people seem to think that if a woman stays home with the children that she is unable to get a job or keep one, or that she isn't educated, or that she does nothing but sit around all day eating bon-bons and watching soap operas. What those people don't realize is that being a stay-at-home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It may not be brain surgery, but it's still hard.

As a stay-at-home mom I am on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I rarely leave my job even for a 15 minute break. I am a caregiver, counselor, chef, waitress, chauffeur, maid, tutor, janitor, bank, laundry washer, and the list goes on and on. And the only pay I get is when my children smile and/or say thank you. Yet I'm looked down on by many because my hubby and I made a choice for me to stay home till the kids have grown a bit before going back to work.

And I'm rambling now.. Long story short, I don't think it's because we stay-at-home mom's are ashamed of doing so. It's more along the lines of we realize that no one really understands how hard our job is unless they've done it themselves and think there's something wrong with us for doing it.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 07:52 AM
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reply to post by whatukno
 


Well, that's an easy one! They have to share the planet with men. Duuuuuuuuuuh!



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:12 AM
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reply to post by chiron613
 


Bingo you hit the nail on the head. There is still rampant sexim. Equality is misnomer. Women have to work harder for less pay. They have to hinder or sacrifice careers for childcare.

While women are now working full time, the amount of housework they have to do is still the same. Over the past century, the amount of chores and housework the male does has increased.......2 hours a week.

The stay at home mom actually has it worse. since they are "at" home they are actually expected to do more.

Then their is the very strict society standards on being the perfect parent, constantly leaving women feeling less and guilty and constantly judged.

then we have to see all the beautiful mothers like Heidi Klum all over tv and magazines, basically shattering any self image they may have.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:14 AM
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reply to post by Jenna
 


A woman who chooses to stay at home has more choice then a woman who has to work.

I would kill to be a SAHM again. And I feel ripped off not being able to do so.

People who think women should be working are dinosaurs left over from the feminist movement.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:20 AM
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reply to post by nixie_nox
 


I agree. Just gets frustrating being completely discounted because I choose to stay home with my kids while they're young.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:21 AM
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reply to post by OuttaHere
 


reply to post by nixie_nox
 


who's fault is that ladies?

so far, three women on this thread have suggested that society is responsible for the chore roster in their own homes!! un-freaking-believable. some people have a ridiculous sence of entitlement.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:25 AM
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Originally posted by pieman
who's fault is that ladies?

so far, three women on this thread have suggested that society is responsible for the chore roster in their own homes!! un-freaking-believable. some people have a ridiculous sence of entitlement.


When society still tells men that housework is "women's work" then yes society does have a hand in the problem. It's not the sole cause, but it sure doesn't help matters.



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:28 AM
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reply to post by Jenna
 


you'll have to convince me that "society" still says that, your husband might say it, society doesn't.

although, when a woman loses her job she becomes a "home maker", when a man loses his job he becomes an "unemployed bum", which seems to discriminate against men more than women.

[edit on 15/10/09 by pieman]



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:30 AM
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reply to post by pieman
 


Please. @@:
It is the woman who gets judged if the house isn't in order.

And the kids clothes have to be washed and the children have to be fed or social services comes to the house.

Trust me, plenty of women have gone on strike. What happens? The house turns into a cesspool.

Thoug I do know of women who make sandwhiches on foam plates every single night because no one pitches in.


And you will not ever see a male complain that his wife doesn't let him help with housework.

[edit on 15-10-2009 by nixie_nox]



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 08:31 AM
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reply to post by pieman
 



Every commercial for eveyr vaccuum, floor cleaner, duster, you name it features a pretty lady joyfully cleanign the house. And trust me, I pay attention. I have seen 2 commercials ever feature a male.



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