I faced death. More than once.
First time, I was in my garden, I was randomly playing with a walking staff. I had an iron spike on one of the extremities. I threw the staff in the
air, it hit a tree, and came back to me. The iron extremity planted itself on the ground. A few centimeters and it would have been in my head. Ok,
this first experience was not much, I actually just have been freaked for a few seconds, then got back playing.
Second time. It was like 2-3 years ago. I was playing video games. I stopped, turned of the console, and stood up too quickly for my blood to get up
to my brain, who turned of for a few seconds (you know, you don't see a thing, you hear everything faint and distant, and you start losing
conciousness of your body). Then I fell back on the ground. But in my fell, I caught the TV with me. When I woke up, the TV (a good old big 1990s TVs,
that weighted like 15 kilos) was on the ground, less than 3 centimeters away from my head. I woke up and was all like : "Oh wow.... Now let's start
living for real !"
Third time. The most important time actually. I got stuck, alone, with no cell phone, on a pozzolana slope. I don't know if you allready experienced
it. Pozzolana is made of very small and very light stones, who have no adherence (sand is nothing compared to pozzolana). The slope was like 50°, and
the ground was 30 to 50 meters below, and made of huge rocks. I couldn't move without losing some precious meters. Any bad move could send me rolling
down the whole slope and crashing my head on the rocks. For the first moments, I felt like : "Well, it stops like that. That's quite foolish. Nobody
knows I'm here. They won't know I'm dead before tonight or maybe even tomorrow morning. But there's nothing to be done about it." I could have
waited there for some help, but the idea did not came to my mind. I started thinking about my life. "Well... I did not write this book I wanted to. I
never had a girlfriend." And other minor stuff like that. I decided to abandon, but as time passed, I couldn't take away from my mind that I did not
wanted things to end up like that. And I decided that it would not. And managed, no matter the fear of pain from rolling down to the rocks, no matter
how exhausted I was, I managed to crawl my way back to the top. I felt really freed from a huge load. Not only because I was not going to die anymore,
but mostly because I had the time to think about death (not like most people who see it coming only a couple of seconds before and who miraculously
escape it), and realized why I was hanging to life. I learned what was my mission on Earth. Writing this book. And I did it, and I am now working on
the sequel.
So, if I was to die tomorrow, I would feel bad about it, because I wouldn't have done what I had to. But once I'll be finished, I believe I'll go
without any worries, no matter what waits for me beyond the white tunnel. Or maybe I'll keep on getting new goals and will never achieve the last
one