I hope OP realizes he is beign selfish.
What should a parent say when they see their kid heading in a wrong direction? There are two possible answers:
1- Good job, keep it up, I love you.
2- You are ruining your life.
The first one will result in a person who doesn't give a damn about anything - oh yeah, I've seen them, 'free food, free healthcare, free anything
is all they care about.
The second one is the one I heard my whole life. Of course, like 99% of the population out there, I thought my parents were beign too harsh, and never
really tried to please them one bit. Then college time came. Because of the sloppy grades I had, we coudln't get a scholarship - still, my parents
told me not to worry, they would pay for it.
First couple semester, ok, I didn't realize what they were going through to pay for my college career - they never told me, I didn't care. All I
knew was that I finally had some freedom and life was great without them interfering. My plan was to be an average student, and get out of school as
soon as possible so I could move on with my own life.
But later, I realized life wasn't that simple, at least not for them. My dad, now in his mid 60s, should have retired by now. Instead, he works 6
days a week, from 7AM to 9PM. His hair color is no longer black, instead it's greyish/dark. Everytime I see him it saddens me, had I tried harder in
school, like they always told me, maybe he could be enjoying life by now. Had I tried harder during my first few semesters in college maybe I could
have graduated in 4 years, not in 5.
Been pushing really hard for the last 3 semesters, but frankly it's impossible to make up for the year I lost. It's impossible to make up for the
scholarship I never won. Sometimes I wish time travel was possible so I could go back and do things right, but that's impossible as well.
I hope OP can one day see the good side of humanity the way I did, else, I really hope he can find that little black box that he is talking about so
he can realize how miserable his life will be without others.
BTW OP, deleting your facebook account does not delete your friends. You may have isolated yourself, but that's not making things better for you, or
care to tell us how your life has improved ever since you did that?
Deep down, you don't want to be alone, think about it, why else would you let the ATS community of your situation if you didn't care about humans.
Remember, the community here is all humans(or who knows, maybe a couple aliens too, but for the most part humans
). Obviously you wanted someone to
know about you, and though you said we are less than insects, you didn't tell a single insect your problems, you told us.
Anyways, that's all I got to say, but if it makes a difference, I'll also tell you that you can be a great person if you really tried to, no matter
if everyone has been telling you otherwise your whole life.