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Should I really feel this way?

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posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 08:44 AM
reply to post by Little One

I was quite a bit harsher but my thoughts precisely.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 08:48 AM
reply to post by ofhumandescent

I was just trying to be 'nice' in that sense. To be honest, I really don't care one way or another [shrug]. Nothing against the OP - I do not dislike them in anyway - I just don't care one way or the other.

And a hug from me would be disingenuous at best.

My life isn't what I wish it was. However, I know it's *me* who affects this. Sure, there's loads of influence on it, as various peoples' lives and decisions invariably affect me. But in the long run, I'm the only one I can look at and say, "Why didn't you do X" or, "Why did you go and do Y", etc.

And in my view, if you have full function of your arms and legs you're already better of than millions of others who pray for such basic options!

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 08:48 AM
reply to post by ldyserenity

I am sorry to hear that you feel that way.
Just want to share my may think it's a load of BS, or you may decide to have an open mind about it.
I truly believe we ALL plan out our lifes experiences and challenges before we are born, in order to learn or teach other....sometimes both. Yes, I know, you think why would anyone CHOOSE to experience your sort of life, or maybe a life of pain in some other way...e.g. physically handicapped, suffering from terrible diseases etc.etc.
I have just finished reading 'Your Soul's Plan'....Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned efore You Were Robert Schwartz.....very interesting read, and of course there are most probably many other books on this subject.
You DO have the chance to change your life, I'm sure. It takes a lot of positive thinking (our thoughts create our reality)

I just wish you all the best for your future, and send you love and positive energy

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 08:55 AM
Confucius said, "The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of them all."
I agree with this sentiment. Life can be hard when the #stem seems to be set up for some to fail, yet some still make it.
Sometimes it take a review and re-ordering of priorities to get out of this funk that you seem to be in.
I, too, have a hard time maintaining my faith in humanity while I work with and for some of the most unhappy and vapid people I know.
I was also screwed out of fin-aid until I was 25 years old because of parental tax issues very similar to yours.
I also spent many years steeped in anger that impeded my progress.
I refused to let it happen anymore. I reclaimed my human mind by waking up to the true dangers and joys of this world. I no longer live according to our societies cult of jock and celebrity worship.
It takes time, but getting fed up and pissed of at the rampant silliness around you is a step in what sets you free.
Just hang in there.

[edit on 02/21/09 by daeoeste]

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 08:55 AM
reply to post by Afterthought
You may have hit on a solution.

A dog will love you no matter if you are rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or "ugly".

Now with a dog comes responsiblity having one is just like having a child. But the "pay off" is great unlike humans they don't "have an agenda" except maybe that occassional milk bone or scratch behind the ears.

A dog will give you unconditional love and teach you how to be service to others.

Get a dog from the pound that is on death row, the ugliest dog you can find, one that nobody else would want and adopt him/her.

You will know that at least your life meant something.

My last two dogs were "death row doggies" and they knew it. Sinbad was a 92 lb shepard husky and we had him for 6 years (he was 7 when we got him)

Odie was about 3-4 years old and we have had him 14 years.

People like to think that humans are so much better than dogs, but I wonder. They are loyal, compassionate, give unconditional love with no agenda, honest (if they are mad they growl and bare their teeth.

Just a suggestion. Dogs are pretty neat. You can't be around a dog and remain sad for long.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:01 AM
reply to post by ldyserenity

I feel for you I really do, I can relate as well, the beginning of my life I have completely erased, up tilla certain point which I'll get to in a minute.
My life as a child wasn't brilliant, but like you I was bullied, I think I can safely say we all were at some stage , either by family, so called 'friends' or schoolmates, even happens at work today.
We even bullied back to the weaker kids, if I could go back and change things I would change everything, but all I can see is that even those events made you who you are today. My situation is like this I have a twin brother, who was second born 10 minutes after me, he was idolised by my parents, apparently according to my mother , my father used to abuse me emotionally, calling me names and lashing out every so often, my brother could do no wrong, I have no memories except a couple of really good memories but all and I mean ALL others have been supressed, the moment I became aware of my situation and decided to be me was when my mother sat me and my brother down and said " Daddies not going to be coming home anymore", it was like someone had turned the light switch on and with it came illumination, I wasn't having to be scared anymore.

Anyway fast forward to today , I am married , got myself a home, and I struggle everyday with finances ( even though I work in a Bank I really suck with money)seem to always be in the red like a lot of folks around the world. I'm 38 got my own place with my wife, my brother? 38 and living at home with Mum, drinking alcohol about 8 pints a day, smokes ciggies and dope , loses numerous jobs through drinking on the job, got into debt upto his eyeballs, ( thankfully since moving back in with Mum , he's cleared his debts but is looking to get more - donut).
He has a cushy life at home with mum, they're going to be moving soon up north and my brother will get their current house rentfree , all he has to do is pay the bills, so I'm miffed at that but I have realised that they're lives, my brothers, my mothers and my step fathers is going to go downhill fast, as my brother will let the house fall into disrepair as he'll be drinking and smoking.
All I will do is laugh, I have come to the conclusion that there are people out there who will aim for the gullible and take everything they can get of them, my solution to you serenity is do not fold under pressure , even when the pressure gets too much, don't hate humanity as a whole , only hate those that affect you directly, don't give up on life, do what I do these days , LIVE TO BE A PROBLEM for them.
Be polite and treats those the way you WISH to be treated, and tey don't treat you the way you've treated them then you can become a hassle to them, make their lives a hell, its a little justice and its therapeutic for you.

Even a little moan at teh person will make you feel better but in all honesty DO NOT DWELL on the issue, have a moan and move on. Get over it and live to see the next moment.
Yes , forgiveness is all well and good but you only can have so much to give, afte that it becomes harder , DO NOT be taken for a mug, tell people honestly what you think, Like when a telesales person rings you up ( it happened to me on more than one occasion) tell them politley " do not call me again" then if it happens again , tell them " Its now beccoming harrasement and I'll be calling my lawyer , whats your name?" and you watch how quick they hang up and then they never ring again.
Always be polite but be strong, weaker people prey on the weakest, do not fall into that catergory, if you have an issue they will clamp on it and you'll never get rid of them.
You have 'friends' here ( I hesitate to call us real friends as in drinking buddies) we all chat via email or forums, but you can mouth off at most of us as we know we all have issues with todays world, no matter how much we cry , or scream, or are angry at the world we can not change OUR situaion, its too far beyond our grasp to help it unless some miracle occurs where we have the chance to all join up.

Be angry at the world sure, but live for your children, they ARE your world, teach them to the best of your ability, but never give up hope, after all if your children see you despairing and losing hope then they will do the same. Be angry at the world but FFS, stick up for yourself, just because your angry and despairing doesn't mean you have to take the # lying down does it?

Fight the system, but use the system against itself as well.
If you need to soundoff or even hurl abuse , send me a U2U, but label it 'abuse' though

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:03 AM
reply to post by ofhumandescent

I have to agree with you. I much prefer the company of dogs/canines to that of most if not all people.

I've always been a dog person and up until the past 8 years, I've always had a dog. And I have to agree - no matter how crap I felt from work or whatever else was happening, the interest and general happy nature of my dog(s) always swung me around and I immediately felt better about everything. It was an incredible effect.

One that no human who has ever had on me.

(and please people, no silly, inappropriate comments!)

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:08 AM
Well, this is the most interesting thread I have read here in a while - probably for quite selfish reasons. So I just want to thank the original poster of the thread and some of you others who have offered insightful replies. I think when you feel the way we do it is hard for others to understand. It can be very isolating and lonely when you feel this way. It' s easy to conclude that the world is just full of nasty users who just take, take, take..... while the good folk like us just get exploited and s@+t upon. I have recently been feeling quite cynical of people and the 'goodness' of others and it really is good to read the messages from some of you on this site - it makes me feel a little more positive. The problem in the real world is sifting through 100 a@~h$%^:s to meet those one or 2 decent people.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:09 AM
reply to post by noonebutme

Love will conquer all! Hahaha just had to give you at least one inappropriate comment, but I totally agree although I am very charasmatic and get along with just about everyone I find dog's more comforting then nearly all people. You just gotta find a person who wants you for you, I have and I can't speak for everyone but I truely think there is someone for everyone and I'm not speaking in a sexual sense.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:10 AM
reply to post by ldyserenity

imagine, people who talk # are like.......dogs, like dogs barking, they keep a lot of noise, maybe they are cursing you, maybe not, dont giv a #. they are usually insecure about something about themselves that they are not comfortable with and they try to make themselves feel better by teasing you and other people. Ignore the negativity of what other people tell u cuz if u continue to take on their bull# they will pull you down with them. Some People are jealous of you n they try to tease you because they think u have something that they dont and they try to make you feel bad for it.
My mother told me back in school that i was dumb, i had no hope of passing my exams, she told me this despite of how good my marks were. to cut a long story short i got distinctions n i went to the "top" school in my country. now i am at college n my gpa was perfect last semester.

look, you are responsible for anything that happens in your life, whether it is good or bad all of your decisions reflect the outcome of what happens
Stop being a victim of human confusion, your life is precious enjoy it no matter what others say

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:20 AM
reply to post by NoJoker13

Hehe, I knew it there'd be one

Well, that's the thing - because dogs/animals don't (so far as I know) have an agenda like people do, and because dogs tend to 'live in the moment', I always get along with them better than most people.

They aren't burdoned with the usual mental luggage we all carry around. Their needs are very basic and without compromise or condition.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate people, at all. But i find I'm always on my guard, always being careful, having to spend so much energy to ensure the other person is happy (read: stroking their ego, etc.)

With dogs, you can just be yourself. Well, so long as you're not a violent w*nker, of course.

Hmm, guess this says volumes about me, huh?

[edit on 10-8-2009 by noonebutme]

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:38 AM
reply to post by ldyserenity

You need help mate....... the sooner you deal with it the better for you.... you are young and havn't even started your life yet! If you can't handle school then you have no chance in the real World where you will meet Fakers, Manipulators, Money Men, Drug Dealers etc etc...... you better take from the past and put something into your future or you will end up shooting yourself or ODing!!

If you think what you have been through is tough then you should see what/how some people in this World go through, you are not the only one to have been hurt.... and if you end up in a Mental Institute you will see that that is a tough place to come back from...... so all i say to you is get yourself under control and sort it out coz nobody will do it for you....

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:48 AM
reply to post by ldyserenity

Hey,.... YOU.



and don't EVER GIVE UP

[edit on 10-8-2009 by Doomsday 2029]

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:54 AM
I cant claim to know what you are going through but you are entitled to your feeling. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You must remember things always get better.

I have empathy for what you are going through. You’ve done the right thing by establishing communication with other people; although ATS may not be as supportive as other forums.

I find you to be an intelligent person. Music and hot aroma therapy bubble baths help me. If you need a friend or if I can help send me a U2U.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:55 AM
Congrats mate.

You are exactly where you should be.

When you are ready to renounce the world, you are ready to journey within. The world is not creating problems for you, it is your computer like mind that we become so identified with, we actually think it is what we call "I" but you WILL discover, it is not.

It is only at the point where we feel that there is nothing left to loose that we make amazing discoveries. You are free from attachments right now so use it. Look within. Find some peace and quiet and learn to shut down your overworking thinking mind. It is a product of your environment and I will say again, It is not YOU. You are so upset because you know there is something better buried deep down inside and you have to find it. The world will not be okay with you if you are not okay with you.

Take the journey and you will find love for yourself and then you will come back to the world and find that it treats you a lot better when you love yourself. Your reality is indeed determined by your state of mind. Can you accept what IS...or will you continue to fight the lessons that the universe is trying to teach you for the betterment of your higher self?

I will send you some reiki if you accept to help get you started on your journey.


posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:59 AM

Originally posted by LiveForever8

Get over yourself.

While live forever8 does have a point here, it is obviously not what you need at this point, and is pretty insensative. I totally agree with "themythlives" redirect your energy to help others in your situation, it will give you the chance to shed some of this baggage you are being forced to carry. learn to depend on you, and let others depend on you.

I am sorry for the things you have had to deal with, but I would be even sorrier if you did not get the chance to help someone else in you position.

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. Buddha

Love and Light, Ron

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 09:59 AM
BTW if you want to chat you can u2u me.........

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 10:01 AM
reply to post by VitalOverdose
Excellent post and yes you are correct, I'm sure that little starving girl with the buzzard waiting for her to die in that picture taken by Kevin Carter (1960-1994) would have traded places too.

I think the posting of that picture was a good idea.

Often times life is rough, but look around, some have it a lot worse and we need to put things back into perspection.

If you are able to post on ATS you have access to a pc. You are probably sitting in a warm dry place and have had a meal in the last 24 hours.

Additionally you have access to free running clean tap water to drink and a toilet.

I've known several people that have done volunteer work in Africa and our homeless here in America live better than many people there.

The name of that picture is "Wanting A Meal".

I collect quotes and below is one. Not sure who originally penned it.

Very interesting and helpful to all I hope.

Be careful of your thoughts
For you thoughts become your words.
Be careful of your words
For your words become your actions.
Be careful of your actions
For your actions becomes you habits.
Be careful of your habits
For your habits become you character
Be careful of your character
For your character become your destiny.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 10:05 AM
Keep your head up and not care what anybody says or thinks, just live your own life.
I'm sorry if I'm wrong but you kinda sound suicidal, if so you need to speak with someone, it's not worth it.

posted on Aug, 10 2009 @ 10:06 AM
reply to post by ldyserenity

Huh well i mean if your serious that you dont want to be around people there are a few things you can do. Just to let you know im serious if you are... go and find yourself an outdoor survival class...after that class find a a nice area in the Appalachians. Im really not kidding ive thought of doing it myself even went as far as taking the survival classes. At the very least i found a really cool hobby i love hiking and camping now =p Well i hope i helped gl!

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