reply to post by ldyserenity
I feel for you I really do, I can relate as well, the beginning of my life I have completely erased, up tilla certain point which I'll get to in a
My life as a child wasn't brilliant, but like you I was bullied, I think I can safely say we all were at some stage , either by family, so called
'friends' or schoolmates, even happens at work today.
We even bullied back to the weaker kids, if I could go back and change things I would change everything, but all I can see is that even those events
made you who you are today. My situation is like this I have a twin brother, who was second born 10 minutes after me, he was idolised by my parents,
apparently according to my mother , my father used to abuse me emotionally, calling me names and lashing out every so often, my brother could do no
wrong, I have no memories except a couple of really good memories but all and I mean ALL others have been supressed, the moment I became aware of my
situation and decided to be me was when my mother sat me and my brother down and said " Daddies not going to be coming home anymore", it was like
someone had turned the light switch on and with it came illumination, I wasn't having to be scared anymore.
Anyway fast forward to today , I am married , got myself a home, and I struggle everyday with finances ( even though I work in a Bank I really suck
with money)seem to always be in the red like a lot of folks around the world. I'm 38 got my own place with my wife, my brother? 38 and living at home
with Mum, drinking alcohol about 8 pints a day, smokes ciggies and dope , loses numerous jobs through drinking on the job, got into debt upto his
eyeballs, ( thankfully since moving back in with Mum , he's cleared his debts but is looking to get more - donut).
He has a cushy life at home with mum, they're going to be moving soon up north and my brother will get their current house rentfree , all he has to
do is pay the bills, so I'm miffed at that but I have realised that they're lives, my brothers, my mothers and my step fathers is going to go
downhill fast, as my brother will let the house fall into disrepair as he'll be drinking and smoking.
All I will do is laugh, I have come to the conclusion that there are people out there who will aim for the gullible and take everything they can get
of them, my solution to you serenity is do not fold under pressure , even when the pressure gets too much, don't hate humanity as a whole , only hate
those that affect you directly, don't give up on life, do what I do these days , LIVE TO BE A PROBLEM for them.
Be polite and treats those the way you WISH to be treated, and tey don't treat you the way you've treated them then you can become a hassle to them,
make their lives a hell, its a little justice and its therapeutic for you.
Even a little moan at teh person will make you feel better but in all honesty DO NOT DWELL on the issue, have a moan and move on. Get over it and live
to see the next moment.
Yes , forgiveness is all well and good but you only can have so much to give, afte that it becomes harder , DO NOT be taken for a mug, tell people
honestly what you think, Like when a telesales person rings you up ( it happened to me on more than one occasion) tell them politley " do not call me
again" then if it happens again , tell them " Its now beccoming harrasement and I'll be calling my lawyer , whats your name?" and you watch how
quick they hang up and then they never ring again.
Always be polite but be strong, weaker people prey on the weakest, do not fall into that catergory, if you have an issue they will clamp on it and
you'll never get rid of them.
You have 'friends' here ( I hesitate to call us real friends as in drinking buddies) we all chat via email or forums, but you can mouth off at most
of us as we know we all have issues with todays world, no matter how much we cry , or scream, or are angry at the world we can not change OUR
situaion, its too far beyond our grasp to help it unless some miracle occurs where we have the chance to all join up.
Be angry at the world sure, but live for your children, they ARE your world, teach them to the best of your ability, but never give up hope, after all
if your children see you despairing and losing hope then they will do the same. Be angry at the world but FFS, stick up for yourself, just because
your angry and despairing doesn't mean you have to take the # lying down does it?
Fight the system, but use the system against itself as well.
If you need to soundoff or even hurl abuse , send me a U2U, but label it 'abuse' though