In my opinion smacking is ok under certain circumstances, I don't agree with smacking a child for being cheeky or something minor, from my own
expierience the only time I've had to smack my child was when she tried to run across a road, she was smacked and had a stern telling off. I've
never had to smack her since, she knows that mummy means business. She's not even 4 yet but she knows where the line is and if she crosses it then
she will suffer the consequences such as removal of things she enjoys.
One such example happened the other day, we were out in the garden it was very sunny so I put a hat on her after a few minutes she took her hat off
and refused to put it back on so I told her she was being naughty and either she puts the hat on or we don't play outside for the rest of the day but
if she wore her hat then we could play out all day, she put the hat on but picked a twig up and threw it at me in anger. I didn't say a word, picked
her up and took her inside, then I told her we were not playing outside because she threw a twig at me in anger and that was naughty. Of course she
asked why it was naughty and I explained why, she started to cry and apologise asking if she could play out but I refused and told her she'd made her
choice and that perhaps next time she will do as she's told without resorting to lashing out otherwise she doesn't get to do nice things. See I
won't take any BS like that off her, she's naughty once she gets a telling off, twice in a short time frame and I remove something she likes(such as
playing outside, if we were inside and she was watching tv I'd turn that off).
I've noticed since mixing with other children at pre-school her rebelliousness has increased, before pre-school she wouldn't have dared cross me or
her father, if we told her off she wouldn't answer back she certainly wouldn't throw things like I mentioned above so I can only assume she's
picking these things up from the other children. Some of them there are absolute nightmares, I once witnessed a 4yr old punch one of the staff in the
face because she wouldn't make her another cat out of play doh, I was absolutely horrified, if my child ever did that she'd get a smack on the bum
for such bad behaviour but the point is she wouldn't because she has respect for adults some of the children at her pre-school have absolutely no
respect for the staff, their parents or any adult for that matter and they are aged 2-4yrs old so I hate to think what those children will be like in
10 years time.
Children also need alot of positive re-enforcement, for example with the incident above with the hat if she'd just have put the hat on I'd have told
her she was a good girl for putting it on and that mummy likes it when she's good. Same with if she's playing nicely I'll remind her that she's
being very good and playing nicely and that mummy is proud of her. Children crave attention and praise especially from their parents so if all they
tend to get is 'no, stop being naughty, don't do that' etc and no positive comments or even an explanation as to why they are being naughty then
they will be naughty just for the attention even if it is negative and/or because they don't understand why the thing they are doing is naughty
because it's not explained to them.
I think kids don't get to use their minds as much nowadays and that's not helping, they are stuck in front of TV's or video games (says the mum who
spends her nights watching movies or playing video games :lol
and as previously mentioned they don't get out as much and even if they do what is
there to do?
Just had to edit this as my daughter just came running up and asked me to do something when I'd finished on the computer then she pointed her finger
at me and said 'mummy you have to be a good girl all the time and if you are you can play outside ok' and gave me a big smile. See she fully
understands that good behaviour leads to nice things, bad behaviour leads to removal of nice things.
[edit on 11-5-2009 by Kyazl]