Members & Mods: Forum Applause & Respected Foes

Hello everyone! If this has been discussed before, please delete this thread. I ran some searches for foe lists and thanking for applause but didn't see these specific questions asked. My apologies if this has been discussed.

Question for Members: Do you get insulted when you are added to someone's foe list? It sounds like a compliment because it is described as "respected" foes who "keep me on my toes" but apparently some take it as an insult or use it to insult others they add. What are your thoughts? Do you get insulted when someone adds you to their list or does it mean that even though they do not agree with you, they still respect your opposing and well thought out view?

Questions for Moderators: We are told not to reply to applause notices from moderators and that seems fair so you don't get flooded with U2U's. Maybe it's my Southern upbringing but it feels so ungrateful not to say, "Thank You." Do you get annoyed because it's like being sent a 'thank you card' in response to a 'thank you card' or is it acceptable every once in a while? It feels so rude not to show appreciation but I don't want to annoy anyone, either.

Originally posted by AshleyD


Question for Members: Do you get insulted when you are added to someone's foe list?

i don't get insulted.....imo it would be pretty lame to get insulted cause someone added you to a foe list on a message board.....thats just my opinion.
i am me and my posting style does not change. i speak my mind and i do not go out of my way to be a turd to people. some like me and some don't.
thats fine with me

Originally posted by AshleyD
We are told not to reply to applause notices from moderators

We are?

And I don't get insulted at putting someone on my foe list. I probably put them on mine first, for a stupid reason too. (FredT - )

The automated u2u that is sent is not from the staff member's account. So if you respond specifically to that automated u2u, nobody will read it. It is perfectly acceptable to respond to the staff member who awarded the Applause. As a member, I regularly thanked the staff member who issued an Applause. Not all of the time, but every now and then when it caught me off guard.

My opinion:

Respected Foe: Something good.

Thanks for Applaus: Once in awhile only.

Originally posted by Boondock78
i don't get insulted.....imo it would be pretty lame to get insulted cause someone added you to a foe list on a message board.....thats just my opinion.

I agree with you. When I was brand new, I added some people to my respected foes list because it sounded like a compliment. After reading around a bit, it seemed like a lot of people took it as a personal blow so now I don't add anyone to it. Don't know why some see it as insulting.

Originally posted by enjoies05

Originally posted by AshleyD
We are told not to reply to applause notices from moderators

We are?

Not technically but it says not to respond to the automated U2U when you get an applause. So, I wanted to know if it was acceptable for us to look them up and send a 'thank you note' separately.

Originally posted by chissler
It is perfectly acceptable to respond to the staff member who awarded the Applause.

Great, thanks. I felt so bad not being able to say thank you and that I was being rude by ignoring it. Is this a general sentiment of the other mods or do they get annoyed by it?

[edit on 2/6/2008 by AshleyD]

reply to post by Skyfloating


Thanks a bunch. The hardest thing is when you get a few applause from the same mod and want to say thank you but feel like you would bother them. The once in a while thing makes sense. Thanks.

I can't imagine a staffer not wanting to get a thank you note. we get plenty of other kinds of notes, along with plenty of wonderful comments in the complaints forum so the less frequent kind words are usually welcomed with open arms.

I don't think anyone would get annoyed at a Thank You. A standard rule of thumb may be that you shouldn't expect a direct response to the thank you note unless a specific question is asked in addition....for the reason being that we already noticed and appreciated the contribution that resulted in the applause in the first place.

As for the foe list....I have one foe and I respect him greatly...I just don't/didn't agree with him....to be insulted would work against the offended....a chance at personal reflection and or an acknowledgement of sorts is good regardless...there's no such thing as bad advertising...

I would be more offended to learn if I was ever placed on ignore by a member....

I pretty much lost track of the friends and foes thing when I was a member. I've made a lot of friends here, and I think they know it, even when their name isn't there. And if I've made foes, I paid it no attention.

There was a glitch i noticed a while back where names would appear on the foes list, and a U2U would be generated, when I had never seen the person even on the same thread with me. A poster named Dezert Skize, or something similar, once even asked me why I put him on the foes list. Neither of us had ever even met on the board.

So, I just pay no attention.

And sending a thank you doesn't hurt my feelings. I've gotten a few. And not sending them also doesn't bother me, as I give applause because it was earned, not as a favor to someone. It's all good.

Originally posted by AshleyD
Question for Members: Do you get insulted when you are added to someone's foe list?

no way! if anything, I want to know what comment I made in particular that made someone take the effort to add me as a foe... not surprisingly, nobody that lists me as a foe has ever replied to tell me what bothered them so much... and I ALWAYS send a U2U asking.

I don't usually respond to applause for the simple fact that I am usually gobsmacked that someone has thought my meandering and half formed thoughts worthy of applause

I have done, once or twice but it isn't the norm - perhaps in future I might do this more.

As for foes - I haven't added anyone to my list, although some have added me to theirs.
There's no reason for this apart from one thing: I have usually found some common ground somewhere when I disagree with someone and I feel no need to have foes because of this.

hey mods, i have a curious question since we are talking about applause.

are there any mods who are known for giving to many out? and any who are known to be stingy with'em?

reply to post by JSR


there isn't a quota like moving violations and we don't always discuss giving them out, which is why you might sometimes find yourself on the receiving end of multiple applause for one post.

Originally posted by scientist
no way! if anything, I want to know what comment I made in particular that made someone take the effort to add me as a foe... not surprisingly, nobody that lists me as a foe has ever replied to tell me what bothered them so much... and I ALWAYS send a U2U asking.

You were one of the few people I added as a respected foe when I first joined because, as I told you in U2U, you kept me on my toes, were always respectful even if we disagreed, and raised several good questions and points. You never U2Ued me to ask why, though. Or if you did, I probably didn't see it as it took me several weeks to see notice the U2U button. lol

And thanks for everyone else who is replying. It's nice to hear everyone's opinions on this.

I think the respected foe feature is wonderful when used correctly. Remember, it's not saying "jerk" but rather "respected foe". I've had the privelege of having quite a few people on ATS over the years that I've considered respected foes. It's someone with whom you have differences of opinion, someone you probably find yourself debating with on many threads, and someone who you respect. I know I developed quite a few people I'd classify as just that over the years in the WoT forum and in talks about politics.

When used as intended I think neither person would be surprised when the other considered them a respected foe because it's supposed to be someone you've debated with and had intellectual sparring with. The respected foe should be someone who, even if you agree on absolutely nothing, you enjoy debating with.

As for the second question, I like giving out applause when I see something that shows me a person went above and beyond to post. Something well thought out, well researched, well presented etc. I enjoy reading it and I equally enjoy letting the person know that I enjoyed reading it. If the member wishes to reply to my applause with a thank you, that works for me! Folks reply to warns all the time... I'd rather get replies for applauses I give out more applauses than warns anyways... as does the rest of the staff.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but foes will never hurt me, including any imaginary insults that come may along with the territory. Disagreements bounce off of me like flies being flicked as would I with my boogers after the picking and prodding. Nah! Nah! Nah!


Oh! And thank you in advance to any and all the moderator(s). Y’all know who you are!

Im on a few people's foe list I laugh because im surprised its only a few.

One person, I know why they did it...and I can promise it had nothing to do w/ respect...probably more like they loathe me. LOL

The other person, I have never even seen them post before

The other person, I was shocked as I have never even exchanged words w/ this person...and out of the thousands of members, im their only foe. Strange but kind of funny I guess. I have nothing against the person - at all. *shrug*


I personally dont see Foe as a positive thing....and I dont use it. I would never put someone on my foe list even if I couldnt stand them. So, I assume people put me on their Foe list because they cant stand me (well, my responses).

Im not offended though. Its just a message board.


***
In regards to applauses. If I get one (shocked I have gotten some:wow I try and leave a "thank you" on their comment section!

reply to post by chissler


I feel embarrassed now - I've never responded to any applause l've been given .... I just took it that there was no need to respond.

So to all Mods: thank you very much and in future I won't ignore your appreciation!


Edit: the respected foe feature I see as being a good way of indicating that whilst one may not agree with the views of someone, one appreciates and admires their caliber of argument and whilst we may disagree it is respectfully and not because we think they're an idiot ....... That said, I've never used it although there are a number of members whom I would put in that category.

[edit on 6-2-2008 by Essan]

reply to post by Essan


ok, he can be removed from the thankless applause list.