Yesterday had to put my Dog to sleep

a reply to: cydoniamars

Yeah it is the worst pain. I know some people say there are far worse things you could experience but there is something about losing your pet that makes it harder to deal with. Watching Midnight go was the hardest thing I've had to see and I saw my grandfather after he died. It is a horrible thing to see and to experience, I had to sit in the room and hold her down (she wasn't fond of other people and would bark or try to bite) and once they gave her a sedative to try and calm her down before giving the final injection was heart breaking, I said before the Vet told me a second shot might be needed because she was fighting the injection (to me that meant she didn't want to go) but she did. Then they left and said "You might think you hear her choking or see her convulsing but she isn't there. She died it's just the body" and then watching that happen battered me as a man and a person.

I know what struggle you're about to endure and it is harder than words can say. My heart goes out to you mate but use ATS these guys really do help and Night Star is a standout as well.

a reply to: cydoniamars

Oh noooo! I am so sorry! You have friends here. Not the same, but we are here for you.

May your sweet girl run free beneath tall trees and green grass, by rivers with the sun shining down brightly.

a reply to: Dwoodward85

I get all choked up when you talk about the experience. Losing people and pets is just so heart breaking. I lost both my Parents, many Aunts, Uncles, friends, pets...it is like the sun setting into darkness. So many memories, so many. They live in our thoughts and forever in our hearts. We will see them again.

For now, we must be warriors and push forward, our loved ones and pets would want that and our lives are still unfolding. There is still much love to share and light to shine out into the world.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: cydoniamars

Oh noooo! I am so sorry! You have friends here. Not the same, but we are here for you.

May your sweet girl run free beneath tall trees and green grass, by rivers with the sun shining down brightly.

Thank you very much for your kind words and understanding, I hope she is somewhere nice too

Paul

a reply to: Dwoodward85

Yeah it is the worst pain. I know some people say there are far worse things you could experience but there is something about losing your pet that makes it harder to deal with. Watching Midnight go was the hardest thing I've had to see and I saw my grandfather after he died. It is a horrible thing to see and to experience, I had to sit in the room and hold her down (she wasn't fond of other people and would bark or try to bite) and once they gave her a sedative to try and calm her down before giving the final injection was heart breaking, I said before the Vet told me a second shot might be needed because she was fighting the injection (to me that meant she didn't want to go) but she did. Then they left and said "You might think you hear her choking or see her convulsing but she isn't there. She died it's just the body" and then watching that happen battered me as a man and a person. I know what struggle you're about to endure and it is harder than words can say. My heart goes out to you mate but use ATS these guys really do help and Night Star is a standout as well.
Dwoodward85,

Thank you for your reply,
The pain is excruciating at times, the worst is at night, can't sleep
I hope Midnight is in a better place, sad to read your story, it is a hard thing to experience, they took her to another room and put a catheter in her and could hear her barking and let us have some time with her
It was a hard thing to have to go through, watching her body go still and her tail stop wagging
I have been here before our previous dog had to be put down way back in 2004, she was 16 and birthday present when I was a child)
It will be hard, I know and my heart goes out to you too
Thank you and Night Star

“Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.” ― Dean Koontz

a reply to: cydoniamars

“Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.” ― Dean Koontz

That is beautiful! It would make a good signature for you. I was surprised it from Dean Koontz. I haven't read any of his books in many years. Isn't he a horror writer? Still...very beautiful.

a reply to: Night Star

You hit the nail on the head perfectly. I think although haven't checked, I mentioned that I've lost a few dogs in my life but have never been hit like this, I still talk to her (which I know is normal) and have had a few dark thoughts or occasion but losing Midnight was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm not thinking about death a lot, my own, my families, my friends (well people I know don't call them friends) mostly my parents, I know look at them and wonder how long, I was in the ktichen just the other day and Mum was cooking sitting in her chair not looking at me and I stared at her intently and just thought "One day she won't be here. One day she'll be gone and all I'll have are the memories" and I held back tears (as I am now) and thought about losing them both, the idea that like Midnight one day they're here and the next they won't so I've decided to do what I can to make their lives easier (they're 60 - Dad and 58 - Mum but both have medical issues) doing whatever I can, spending as much time as we can together. Its almost always on my mind now and I'm praying that as time goes forward it'll stop and I'll get back to the way I was before losing Midnight.

I've said this once or twice (or more) that your words are incredibly helpful and have been doing great things for me but there are moments when I reach a strange point, I can go all day fine and dandy and suddenly get hit like a ton of bricks and have to deal with all the pain and memory. I loved that dog with every ounce of my being, with every sparkle of light that made up my being, I woke up for that dog, I went to work for that dog and I rushed home for that dog, she was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing at night, so her not being here is a massive hole that I'm trying to fill up with something...anything at this point but in time, as you said, I'll get to a point of being able to remember her and not break down.

(I still talk to her though, I still have a handful of her hair, I still hold the back door open a little longer in case her ghost/spirit/essence wants to come in lol I know that might be odd lol but I've gotta do that otherwise it'll all crush me).

I'm so sorry to hear about your baby! I have my last two dogs, boston terriers, and one cat cremated. We just had our first Christmas without Cooper, our Boston. Today would have been his 12th birthday! I had to put him to sleep in May last year. We just found a new Boston puppy to be his brother when Cooper started having seizures. Then when he and the puppy, Ollie, were playing, Cooper started having his first cluster seizures and dislocated his hip. We never could get it to stay in it's socket, but his body made a fake one. He lasted a year before losing him. I think at times it doesn't get easier for my family, we just get used to the pain. Ollie has been a miracle sent from above. One day we will try again and get another Boston brother for Ollie. We love Bostons, they are like potato chips, you can't have just one. Who am I kidding? I love animals and would have a zoo if possible. I'm down to one dog and 16 chickens. I call them my "Fluffy Bottom Gang". LOL I pray you will heal over time. I know it's not easy. I have heard collars jingling after losing a dog or when Biddy died, my 16 yr old cat, we saw her shadow constantly running to and from the kitchen. Totally crazy. Maybe you'll be open to have another fur baby come into your life. I know my life is so empty without their love. May God bless you and ease your pain.

a reply to: Ceedaisy

Thanks for the reply and yeah losing my fur baby was/is a horrible thing. I hate waking up every day without her. I will say that time is easing things but there are moments when it hits me again and then again and again. I'm fighting to continue on and keep going not for my own sake but because I have people and other dogs who are dependent on me so they're the reason I'm going day to day. I miss my girl and can understand why you miss yours. Its the curse of being a pet owner. I have two dogs left, Delboy and Rodney, two huskies who are helping but the pain of losing Midnight is a haunting pain, so much so my brain is now imaging those around me NOT being here anymore which is a pain in the backside but I'll pull through I always do. I miss her every second of every day of every week (fourth week starting Monday) but I know she wouldn't want me wallowing in misery so hopefully I'll get through the worst of it.

Thanks for the comment. I'm so happy that people are still replying because talking/typing about her really helps.

a reply to: Dwoodward85

I am glad to hear that you are doing all you can to help your Parents. On one hand we know they will one day be gone, but it isn't something you are ever prepared for. My Dad was in his late eighties and Mom was 91 or 92. I am thankful that they had such long and happy lives, but I was never truly prepared. I still miss them today.

The long list of people and pets I have lost just keep growing. We need other people and pets in our lives that can make us smile and laugh when we think we'll never smile or laugh again. We need people who will help us to keep pushing forward. We need to keep that light that we all have inside and not let it fade to barely an ember.

You will continue to fight through these difficult days as there is no time limit to grief, but you will be able to look back one day with fond memories, less tears and they will just take a place in your heart where you can bring back beautiful memories whenever you need to.

a reply to: Ceedaisy

I enjoyed reading this post of yours. Fluffy Bottom Gang. Ahahaha! Love that! I'm a city girl, but love chickens. I love animals too and if I had the money and energy, I would have plenty.

I think it's cool that you have heard collars jingling and saw your cat's shadow. Not crazy at all. Many people have had similar experiences.

a reply to: Night Star

It's only because of the constant replies that I'm getting through these days. I'm still having moments of proper happiness and joy but then it crashes to me and hits me again. I like to think that I'm in the middle of it all, I'm not thinking about it all the time and the tears tend to spend most of the day where they belong but do have an appearance every now and then in the same day but this is less often than it was a few weeks ago.

I was actually surprised that she has been gone for three weeks already, can't believe that.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: cydoniamars

“Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.” ― Dean Koontz

That is beautiful! It would make a good signature for you. I was surprised it from Dean Koontz. I haven't read any of his books in many years. Isn't he a horror writer? Still...very beautiful.

Glad you liked it, turns out Dean Koontz has also sadly lost a pet too


www.deankoontz.com...


Found the quote here:

dogwithblog.in...

Another great quote

"“If a dog has brightened your life
and every day
silently accepted
your tears
without judgement
snuggled with you
forgiven your faults,
and loved you unconditionally,
then you know what a gift
dogs are to this world. ” ― Anonymous

a reply to: Dwoodward85

Wow, I didn't realize it had been 3 weeks already. Time does lesson the pain, but the amount of time is different for everyone.

I always picture my lost pets in a beautiful place filled with love, a place we will one day be reunited with them.

a reply to: cydoniamars

Awww, Trixie was lovely and the write up was heartfelt.

Lovely quote you included in your post as well.

I've never had a dog, mostly cats and other animals.

a reply to: Night Star

Sorry I didn't have a chance to reply had a little hiccup in getting passed Midnight going. It was this random thing yesterday, I was letting Delboy and Rodney out for a pee in the back garden and as always the memories of Midnight going out with them, what she would do (other than her business lol) she'd wonder about, sniff the fence for next doors dog and then come back in and either sit in the passage or she'd lie on the kitchen floor and even though I've remembered those moments many times in the three weeks since she went something just broke and it sent me into a bit of tailspin but I'm fine now. It didn't last very long though, maybe an hour or so but I did get over it for those moments.

I remember Night Star, you saying that it can happen sometimes and falling back into the crying is good etc so I wasn't annoyed that it happened but sometimes it sort of slips in and I get going again lol.

a reply to: Dwoodward85

I understand completely. You'll be fine Hun.

Maybe put a beautiful plant in that garden and get an Angel dog statue to put there.

a reply to: Night Star


Hi yet again a few days have been and gone since I last posted a comment but I was trying to focus on moving passed the mourning the tears and the constant ache for Midnight and for the most part I'm managing to get on with life and though the ache for her is always there it spends most of the time in the background and pops up once in a while like about an hour ago while looking st old pictures of her and the other dogs I did have a short little moment, didn't last long maybe half an hour or so but I magaed to pull it all back and pull myself together then just by random realised I hadn't checked or replied to any other comments so thought I would even though it's half 3 in the morning lol.

Counselling for her death has helped been talking about her good times and bad, learning how to deal with the pain constructively instead of destructively and talked about dark thoughts that I'd been having and so I'm getting help because I'm struggling with the loss but I'll get there I have to I don't think there is much chance of getting her back physically with me unless there is a cross roads demon wishing to make m e a deal lol.

We finally got her casket/urn sent through we already had her ashes (long story) so will be sorting that out at the weekend in a sort of celebration of her life, it's something the counsellor reccomended to help, like a funeral for her apparently it's meant to help me deal with the whole deal and have some closure to her death so there's that to look forward to 😐 But without you and others on here, which I've mentioned to the counsellor, I'd be much worse so as with every other comment I've added, I owe this site and you Night Star, who has stuck around more than anyone else a lot. If we ever meet I'll have to buy you a beer.

a reply to: Dwoodward85

Awww, having a beer with you would be great! I am glad that things have improved and if you ever need to talk, I'm only a PM away.

In the future, when others lose their beloved pets, you will be able to comfort and inspire them. Any of us who have lost their cherished fur babies can easily understand another persons grief and challenges. Hugs!

Sorry for your loss. This is especially painful when you take pets as family members.