uncomfortable situation at work. how would you have handled it?

He made it sinister when you repeatedly and clearly told him not to do it, and he kept doing it. So even if it's just that he's a touchy-feely person (I think it's more than that, given the hair smelling deal), it's now wrong because you e told him not to touch you and he is disregarding you. He is disrespecting you every time he does it, since he KNOWS that you don't like it. He's saying "It doesn't matter what you prefer regarding your own personal space, what matters is what I want to do."

There's something wrong with him and you were right in what you did. Hopefully YOUR supervisor will get behind you on this and take the lead in making sure it gets fixed. If it continues, there are two snippy and ineffective supervisors where you work.

Let us know what happens!

a reply to: TinySickTears

It’s a subconscious display of dominance. Usually these kind of things are done by insecure, afraid people. Kind of like when Trump pulls a person two feet forward when he shakes their hand.

Being the boss, I would definitely have a problem with it.

I second the dominance factor...but without the weird political connotations.


Maybe do it back. With more force. Really get your point across.

Or you could make it a spectacle and wear football shoulder pads!


Those things aside, you're more than likely handling it the best way already.

a reply to: TinySickTears

I'd just have to say bro if you can't respect my personal space me and you are going to have some real #ing issues.

Tries to do that # again I'd remove his hand forcefully and tell him next time it's going to get ugly.

#metoo.

Definitely a dominance thing. Whether or not it's a conscious thing or subconscious is another story, but on some level or another, he sees you as a threat to him/his position to be dealt with, hence trying to intimidate you with the gesture.

From a comepltely layman POV and not a psychological pro one, I'd acknowledge the touching with a glance, then dissuade it (physically remove his hand from you) and them ignore him entirely. One of two things would happen -- he'd either get the hint that whatever he's trying isn't working and quit, or he'll get mouthy about it, which would be the open door to discuss what he thinks he's accomplishing by touching.

I'm not sure what else you could have done that you didn't already do, TST. I guess wait and see what comes of the email for now.

Sounds like a character from the office...

originally posted by: Allaroundyou

originally posted by: recrisp
Do like I did when that happened to me...

As her rubbed my shoulders I looked him square in the eye and started licking my lips with a slight smile, then I winked.
He no longer did that, as a matter of fact, he stopped talking to me.
Actually, looking back, everyone stopped talking to me... Weird...

If someone ever did that to me then I think we would be best friends after that. That is too funny.
That is my type of humor man.

On another forum I read about an army truck driver who had a problem with an African dude who liked to stand on the driver step of the cab and lean right into the drivers face. One driver got so fed up of this, one time he said "mmmmm-hmmmmm there's nothing I like better than some hot steaming cocoa right in my lap first thing in the morning." The African dude got so frightened he fell off backwards and cried "don't ever speak like that again - it's not natural."

there is a special aikido move for just exactly this. I wish I could show you. I puts them in submission with very minimal effort. They will be down on one knee, and that's when you have his full undivided attention.

You can do it with either hand

example: He reaches over with his left hand with your left hand, catch his hand , your palm over the top of his hand, facing palm down,( Your arm , and hand horizontal) Quickly guide it to the top of your right wrist, just barely before your hand. With your hand gently holding his hand on your right wrist, slowly pivot your right hand vertical. After it is vertical, gently and slowly pivot your fingers until they aim towards the floor. By this time he will be on his knee, ears open, wide eyed, and ready to submit to your request.

Does he do it to everyone else or just you?

originally posted by: TinfoilTP
Does he do it to everyone else or just you?

does that to a few people
gets extremely close to others
smells a couple others hair

he rubs a lot of people the wrong way

or he comes up behind people and looks over their shoulder but gets so close its like he can rest his chin on your shoulder. just all of a sudden right there

like someone will be looking down at a lift tag or looking at their phone on break or something and he will get right up on them from the back and try to see what they are looking at.

originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: TinySickTears

You report it to HR. Or if there is no HR to the boss. If he's the boss you tell a lawyer.
You are now part of the me too movement.

Wtf?!?!
The op said it wasn't harassment.
You just gave us the perfect example of how this stuff gets blown out of proportion.

If you call his actions harassment then you have to call Joe Biden's actions harassment. But if I remember correctly I've seen you run interference for Biden.

a reply to: TinySickTears

If you've already told him ONCE not to put hands on you and he keeps doing it, take his god damned face off.

a reply to: TinySickTears

You were correct in your actions
And , as a reminder , you only have to say stop once.
Anything past that requires an action on management's part.
Period

originally posted by: TinySickTears



the thing is i have told him to stop at least 5 times.


i dont feel like i am being sexually harassed. it is just weird and the bottom line is i dont like it.

You are being sexually harassed. You've been conditioned to accept it as "weird" but it's harassment. Get HR involved right away.

His actions are making you uncomfortable in the work environment. You have told him to stop. He keeps doing it. It's harassment. Plain and simple. HR needs to be involved to either educate this person and or decide on further actions.

a reply to: TinySickTears

or he comes up behind people and looks over their shoulder but gets so close its like he can rest his chin on your shoulder. just all of a sudden right there

That's probably a little easier to deal with than the problem you're having. Someone standing that close to you is subject to an "accidental" spinning body check that will put them on their ass. Followed by profuse apologies and an offer to help him back to his feet. All the while staring him straight in the eyes to let him know that it was no accident.

In your case, I believe you are handling this correctly. I'm certain that I would be on the unemployment line by now, if not incarcerated in the state mental institution after I ripped his arm off and beat him to death with it.


-dex

A very wise Driil Instructor once told me to be firm, and if that don’t work kick them in the balls.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Here is how I would handle that situation.

Make a log of every time this happens to you personally, and every time you see the individual in question do this to someone else. As part of the log, include locations so that any internal security video can be used to show examples. You have already alerted the persons supervisor, which is good, but if your company is large enough, you should also speak directly to HR, since there are likely to be policies involving this sort of thing, that this grabster is in violation of.

But... That is the reasonable me's suggestion. The me that has literally no patience for this kind of thing, says wristlock the fool and throw him through a stud wall.

a reply to: stormcell

A.... Bogan (???) and a chicken and serious medical results? Please do explain a little more. O.o

Im picturing An Australian comedian pulling out a honking rubber chicken and honking it at you, frightening you with it and causing..... A stroke?! Good lord if that's even REMOTELY the truth of it, I'm so SO sorry.


I hope he got sued for medical bills or fired or something.

Gotta have that paper trail. Id go back and make a timeline of all the times you can remember it happened.
You gotta stay hands off regardless, and cant issue any threats either. If you follow through with them, your employer will be held liable, so you will get fired regardless.