You heard of the Three Amigos, meet the Three Idiots...

a reply to: IAMTAT

I don't know anyone who wears or even owns a pig mask.

As I was telling my elderly church group last weekend (they are old so they probably don't remember)between the hours of 4 pm and 8 pm, I think even owning a pig mask should be illegal.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: IAMTAT

I don't know anyone who wears or even owns a pig mask.

As I was telling my elderly church group last weekend (they are old so they probably don't remember)between the hours of 4 pm and 8 pm, I think even owning a pig mask should be illegal.

What a coincidence, between the hours of 4 pm and 8 pm, I was on jellyfish victim relief patrol at the beach.

I know that because I checked my non-Bellagio-purchased Rolex.

a reply to: IAMTAT

Is it still correct to pee on a jellyfish sting?

Well, some girls do; some girls don't.

No more piggie masks?

The next production of The Lord of the Flies might be rather rather drab.

Look guys, we found a paper plate with an unhappy face on the beach.

Let's all get topless and stab each other!
Well the first law of making a barbeque has been understood.

Topless beach stabbing?

I think that was Annette Funicello and Elvis's first movie.

Ahhh. . . .the 50's.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Topless beach stabbing?

I think that was Annette Funicello and Elvis's first movie.

Ahhh. . . .the 50's.

Wasn't that 'Gidget Goes Psycho'?

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Topless beach stabbing?

I think that was Annette Funicello and Elvis's first movie.

Ahhh. . . .the 50's.

Wasn't that 'Gidget Goes Psycho'?

Little known fact:

She was a coke-whore in the original movie but the producers thought she should be a lesbian assassin instead.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Sometimes when I watch reality TV, I get this old person's voice in my head.

Yip, from the first moment I saw that broad I knew she was a high-falutin', lying, little hussy.

She ain't naked or afraid!
Just keeps on moaning.
It's all a fraud!
Reality TV is staged.
But I liked the moon-landing, and that was staged too.
But that was a show ...

Hello.

Sorry to interrupt your Baywatch discussion, but an urgent question has arisen:

What is the best hat to wear to a dentist appointment?


Thanks in advance.

originally posted by: Nothin
Hello.

Sorry to interrupt your Baywatch discussion, but an urgent question has arisen:

What is the best hat to wear to a dentist appointment?


Thanks in advance.

A beanie with a propeller.

a reply to: Nothin

I'd say a Stahlhelm.

With a bit of motivation your porcelain will outlast China.

But dentistry is usually not a young person's problem (nowadays not sure).
But wait till you live too long.

When these assholes deliberately stuff up, they take all your insurance.
White collar gangsters of the worst degree.

originally posted by: Nothin
Hello.

Sorry to interrupt your Baywatch discussion, but an urgent question has arisen:

What is the best hat to wear to a dentist appointment?


Thanks in advance.

Any kind that says, "Boob Inspector" on it.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Topless beach stabbing?

I think that was Annette Funicello and Elvis's first movie.

Ahhh. . . .the 50's.

Wasn't that 'Gidget Goes Psycho'?

Little known fact:

She was a coke-whore in the original movie but the producers thought she should be a lesbian assassin instead.

My last 3 girl friends were all coke-whore lesbian assaassins.
I have a knack for drawing them.
Assassin. Heh...it says ass twice.

a reply to: skunkape23

Now you see, that's why men give up on dating.

Too many ninja lesbians on the interwebs.

Finally!

Quest For Fire 2.

originally posted by: Nothin
What is the best hat to wear to a dentist appointment?

Depends, are you the dentist, the dental assistant, the patient or the random dude that is going to break in halfway through the root canal and murder them all?

originally posted by: Nothin
Hello.

Sorry to interrupt your Baywatch discussion, but an urgent question has arisen:

What is the best hat to wear to a dentist appointment?


Thanks in advance.

Easy.
Something waterproof with a brim to catch all the spurting blood.

Since the inception of this thread, there have illiterately been millions of requests from ATS members begging that this thread address issues even more substantive than disemboweling, Llama-molesting and sammiches; issues which actually give something back to society.

Of course all of these requests have been thoroughly ignored, ridiculed...and those asking have been treated like Michael Moore walking into to a small, family-owned, all-u-can-eat Chinese lunch buffet.

But now, the time has come to add more scope to this thread...Not only because it has really bad breath, but because it's time to give something back.

Welcome to the hit new Advice column...

'ASK THE IDIOTS'

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RULES:

1.) No question (within current ATS rules) is taboo...unless it involves pig masks, Richard Gere, pig masks...or gerbils.

(Okay, maybe we can squeeze in a few gerbils...but definitely no pig masks...because nobody here owns one).

2.) Each advice question must begin with: "DEAR IDIOTS"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So ask us anything...Expect nothing of any redeeming social or personal value, in return.
We feel your pain...(which is curiously arousing)...and we want to help (not really).

a reply to: IAMTAT

I especially like questions on etiquette since I am such a well-mannered individual.

Did I miss a question?

My answer was Preparation H. Or blue Crayon.

I get those confused sometimes.

It's not too bad except in art class. Then it gets awkward.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I imagine you would make a really crappy drawing with that.