An Un-Merry Christmas?

a reply to: berenike

I know, people move on, these same people didn't care too much about love, I only do because of a lot of things that are physical that many do not understand, all having to do with neurology. And every time the universe gives, that amazes me how fast the universe gives planned opportunity that is meaningful and fulfillment of destiny without pause.

a reply to: UFOdanger

Since you're able to see the pattern try stepping back a bit and taking stock.

Those small things that seem to annoy other people - can you perhaps rethink your approach?

You can still be yourself but a few changes in behaviour and attitude might just do the trick.

Go easy on yourself, though. You seem to really put yourself through the mill.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company either. Relax a bit, do something enjoyable. You might find that you're a delightful companion.

originally posted by: berenike
a reply to: UFOdanger

Since you're able to see the pattern try stepping back a bit and taking stock.

Those small things that seem to annoy other people - can you perhaps rethink your approach?

You can still be yourself but a few changes in behaviour and attitude might just do the trick.

Go easy on yourself, though. You seem to really put yourself through the mill.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company either. Relax a bit, do something enjoyable. You might find that you're a delightful companion.

So far that is the plan. 2016 has been an interesting year, and I want to stay as far away from it as possible. So if I wake up in a new environment on the 1st it will physically be a new beginning, but also a spiritual new beginning that I must not make the same general mistakes that keep preventing me but reaching my goals, in a dramatic way. I will be able to reflect and eventually that will lead to the chemicals I need in my brain, they just don't understand how I really need help, I don't have a voice, I am just used to holding a burden.

I have to analyze how my actions affect others emotions when I am not aware they have the emotions because they do not show them in any way. Every time this happens, there are many causes, but to get to the root cause, every time it all has to do with my attention, and that I am not giving my loving attention when the time is needed.

As you can see my body will not allow me to push myself anymore. From this I have realized the hard way that our bodies are made to smile, not frown, and smiling allows us to live in physical harmony, which many do not understand. I am sure now that I have encountered a reptilian demonic source that has attacked me through another person. In 2016 I know all my mistakes which prevented me from gaining eternal happiness for my fault, if I acted how I wanted to act, I would have not made the critical mistakes, which again were all small in my eyes.

Oh yes the last year I lived alone I was going to be social, but instead I read for about 4 hours each night, researching what is out there, through the 80 percent fake news.

a reply to: UFOdanger

All steps on The Path.

Sometimes we get diverted, sometimes it feels as if we're unravelling a tangled ball of string.

Look after yourself, eat well and properly, get plenty of fresh air and sunshine. Keep yourself fit for the tasks ahead. And really, give yourself some credit for making the effort. Not everybody is prepared to put the work in.

And keep your eye on the ball - that's important

a reply to: UFOdanger


I am sorry to hear that things have been so bad for you that you that you feel broken and have panic attacks. Are you on any medications for anxiety? Is there anyone at all that you can open up to and talk to about your problems?


Many times, broken things can be fixed. I see you have a good attitude in moving forward in the new year. One day at a time is my motto. Every day is a new beginning, a new chance to change the things that can be changed, a new day to try and heal.


I think berenike has given some great advice and I am thankful he/she has been here for you.

a reply to: berenike

Sometimes people in hard times need people like you, because it is not being able to share, embrace, love, and trust, that keeps the burden heavy on me.

You reminded me, check these words out, supposedly these are the real words of Christ, which were stolen by Rome and kept away in vaults for 1,000s of years because the correct and true teachings of Christ directly opposed the Roman church. One doesn't know for sure but after my collective research I am confident this is much more closer to we have in the bible (we have some sayings, but the story line is not historical. originally there was one gospel as it was a story but this was taken and altered to fit the needs of other geographical religions at the time, I would doubt that even the deepest vaults of the Vatican have the original gospel written by the apostle John, this gospel had miracle type analogies that had alternative meanings in Hebrew, so the Greeks put their own miracle type stories, who knows if they wanted the people to believe in them or if they had their own meaning in Greek and it was lost, but common sense shows that people did believe, and kept believing in something such as the virgin birth, I have an Aramaic gospel and who knows what year it was written, lets guess 200 AD, and it is closer to the original but still has the stories added in, it is early enough that I can trace what was written in that gospel to what Luke wrote in Acts, which is remarkable).

The angels of air and of water and of sunlight are brethren.
They were given to the Son of Man that they might serve him, and that he might go always from one to the other. Holy, likewise, is their embrace.
They are indivisible children of the Earthly Mother, so do not you put asunder those whom earth and heaven have made one.
Let these three brother angels enfold you every day and let them abide with you through all your fasting.

Essene Gospel of Peace: Science of Fasting

Air, water, and sunlight as "angels' created by the "Earthly Mother" and "Heavenly Father". Can you see why the Greeks and Romans had to change this? But this Essene community of Christ and John the Baptizer goes back to Moses in Egypt and we know that, and it is very likely given historical evidence that Christ would have called these things "angels."

So when you said to get fresh air and sun, this is a sacred ritual of peace for me. Christmas for example, getting a tree and putting presents under it, is a pagan ritual that would probably anger Christ because we are dishonoring him in his name, which historically is what all the Greek and Roman church fathers did. However fasting, bathing in water, and drying off in the sunlight is a Christian ritual, that has been removed from our history books for the purpose of control and deception.

Thank you, at least I tried, if a person wants to shut off communication with me and not tell me why, and also deny the truth as to what happened in our past, and then does everything in their power to attack me for moving on with my life, I just have to accept that people in the world act like that sometimes, even if you do love and need them deeply.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: UFOdanger


I am sorry to hear that things have been so bad for you that you that you feel broken and have panic attacks. Are you on any medications for anxiety? Is there anyone at all that you can open up to and talk to about your problems?

Many times, broken things can be fixed. I see you have a good attitude in moving forward in the new year. One day at a time is my motto. Every day is a new beginning, a new chance to change the things that can be changed, a new day to try and heal.

No I have not taken any medication for anxiety, let's mention Zantax, if I am having a panic attack (which I don't know how to avoid when I am thinking about it) and took that medication which is the strongest for anxiety, it might control my breathing but I would not like the way it makes me feel. However I do believe in various forms of medication from plants, so every medication that comes from a natural source, I am wide ranging though, so I believe '___' is a medication, however it must be taken only about 2 times per year because of what it is, obviously a person would go insane if they took it often. If someone would question its validity, I would say that if they accidentally consumed some harmless mold from rye bread and had a significant spiritual experience, that is the same thing, it comes from a natural source. Obviously PCP cannot be classified as a medication just to indicate there is no natural base. And my body does not agree with any stimulant or even coffee, as everyone is different.

Thankfully I have had a number of people through this ordeal that I told some crazy things because they happened to me, that was extremely helpful.

It just gets to the point when you see so much lying, you wish you saw truth from people, but even hundreds of lies, that is OK to handle, but when it gets to be so much more it is very hard to be free and happy, I guess I have been searching so much, this is an end of a road which again blew up in my face and I want to blame it on a bad year, and a new road can be started upon.

a reply to: UFOdanger

I wish you well on your new road in the coming year.

I upon getting my new job specifically set myself as available to work over christmas so others didn't have to and so that clients would be covered.

Instead I've spent the week and holiday weekend with car troubles, a cracked rib from slipping on ice, and food poisoning.

All my attempts at giving others a merry christmas instead resulted in a cold painful miserable one for myself, and I helped no one and instead made things worse.

a reply to: Puppylove

Ugh cracked ribs are MISERABLE. I hope you feel better soon.

I was fortunate to be healthy (for once) this year, but I can relate to the whole going out of your way to make others happy, and having it kind of blow up thing. I'm sorry.

For what it's worth... I still think you did a very commendable thing. Just wish you didn't suffer for it.

Peace.

ETA: Happy Kwanzaa and Boxing Day to those who celebrate either of them!

Hey it's the 26th! My favourite day of the season haha
Big relief. It all worked out. Until next year....

Snowing heavy here too. White Christmas to go with the tree that's still up. I do love the lights!

Hope you all had a good Christmas xx

a reply to: UFOdanger

Angels of Air, Water and Sunlight, that's interesting. I see them as Air, Water, Fire and Earth elementals. Same beings, I am sure, just a slightly different belief system.

When I went for my walks I'd often acknowledge them, Mother Earth and the Sun. The Moon, too, which could often be seen during the day although I'd make the effort every night to look for the Moon when I went out to leave snacks for my little mouse neighbours.

Nature, the World are wonderful things and to tune in and be part of it is so uplifting. I'd commune with trees too. I love Christmas trees all lit up and decorated but prefer artificial - not because they look or smell any better but because I'd rather leave the 'real' trees rooted in the Earth.

There's lots of advice to walk barefoot in order to achieve a greater connection to Mother Earth but I never had the nerve. I'd probably step in something painful or unsavoury.

I'm glad you are open to all this, if you are disappointed with human company you won't be so alone if you befriend the Beings who contribute so much to making up the World we live in. As a plus you might find small creatures become more attracted to you or are easier to befriend, although beware of the little buggers who bite

Something just prodded me: Air elementals are very easy to communicate with. When you're out walking try cupping your hand and see if one comes to you if you ask nicely.

a reply to: Puppylove

OMG, you poor thing! OW! How horrible! Take care of yourself honey, you can always help folks later in other ways.

Hello Ace! Peace to you and Happy whatever you celebrate!

Violet, I love the Christmas tree lights too. I'll take my tree down on New Years day.

Berenike, I have a fake tree too, always have. I never liked the idea of murdering a gorgeous tree that belongs rooted in the earth.

a reply to: Night Star

Hello and likewise.

I'll be leaving mine (also artificial) up until New Years too.

Incidentally... your signature is a good reflection of certain facets of real life for me atm, so thank-you for that reminder always being there.

Peace.

a reply to: Puppylove

Whatever it is, is coming back... I think it was food poisoning and I just found the offending culprit... now I'm scared I'm gonna lose a job I just got, that I love, that makes me feel good about myself and allows me to help others, all because of bad luck...

a reply to: Puppylove

What are you doing to remedy the situation?

You can probably get an over-the-counter remedy for your food poisoning, and why not explain your situation to your boss and colleagues so they will have a chance to understand?

Communication is key

Don't, for goodness sake, just sit there getting yourself wound up.

a reply to: berenike

Well it's 4 in the AM right now. I did call and leave a message. Best I can do this late. Have been in communication this entire time. I've been getting rave reviews from all my clients. I'm very loved. But this has clearly put me well outside the realm of too many lost days I think.

I'm a home aide since October I think. Is an understaffed field, hard to keep good people in. So hopefully they'll try to work with me. It's been a hell week. Colleagues have already been helping, and as for going out to get medicine, not a good idea, I'm going downhill fast and being on the road is the last thing I should do.

All I can do at this point is hang in there, stay hydrated and wait til more communication can be done.

Mostly my fear is, car trouble, plus keep getting sick, plus the fall, etc, all on the holidays is starting to sound absurdly like an excuse for wanting the holidays off even to me, and I'm the one going through it all, and know that I gained nothing but misery and lost needed finances for my time off, and gained not a lick of anything good. I'm not sure I'd believe me at this point.

Another worry is it's not food poisoning and I got it from or gave it to a client between bouts of "wellness" lots of clients and aides have been sick lately. I lose a job that's one thing, someone elderly dies from something being passed around is another.

Ok... closing computer now... past point I can stay on...

a reply to: Puppylove

You've got the best plan for now, I'm sorry I didn't realise the time zone you're in. 4am is a heck of a time to be ill.

I hope you can find someone to go to the chemist for you or perhaps you can arrange a delivery?

I remember having flu one Christmas and my boss phoned up demanding to know when I'd be well enough to come back into work. She believed I was ill but she must have thought I had a crystal ball, too.

Anyway, I wish you better.

ETA - if lots of clients have been unwell lately it's unlikely that you are the source of the bug. I think it's probably just a hazard of being an aide or a client. So many people in contact with others who may have any number of infections etc. I visited a nursing home once and there was a notice on the door warning visitors that they entered at their peril due to a bug going round.

a reply to: berenike

I haven't even been reprimanded. Weird. I go back to working Thursday.