I've lost my daughter.

a reply to: bally001

bally, it is your daughter who is making the wrong decisions and it is affecting her life and that of everyone around her. She is the one who has to want to change. You raised your children right and one just happened to go off in the wrong direction. It is heart wrenching and I am sure you are frustrated and angry as hell. I would be too!!!


I wonder if a family intervention would help or just push her farther away? I wonder if a family counselor could give some sound advice and help you and the family? I don't know. If you can afford it, even for yourself, try a counselor. Someone somewhere should be able to give you some help. You can't do this all your own. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders yet are trying to be strong for the whole family, but you need some compassion and understanding and maybe guidance and hope from a professional who may be able to help. I am hoping anyway. Hugs for you and the family!

a reply to: Martin75

Jess, I posted that song on facebook when my friend was going through her fight with cancer.

a reply to: Night Star

I'm lucky that we all love each other. It does affect the family. After a day or 2 the young lady gets angry, abusive and screws up her face, storms out.

The general question from the others is "What was that all about?".

One moment happy, next depressed then the anger and she needs to go away again.

Sure, counselling may help, but, she isn't willing.

Thanks for your thoughts.

bally

a reply to: Martin75

That's a beaut song. Appreciate you posting it on this thread.

Fingers crossed for better times in 2017.

kind regards mate,

bally

a reply to: bally001


There is always hope and that is what I wish for you and your family, much hope, love and peace.

a reply to: Night Star

Thank you. For you,



regards,

bally

a reply to: bally001

Awww, thank you for the kind words! Awesome image!

a reply to: bally001

11.30 here mate and i am wishing you and all your family all the best for the new years . Crabbing trip was a bust , 8 crabs and 3 turned out soft . Have a good one this year . Hutchy

a reply to: hutch622

Thanks for the wishes mate. Same for you and yours for 2017.

May you catch many hard crabs and perhaps those monster snapper you have down your way,

bally

a reply to: bally001

I read that quickly and thought you said, "May you catch many crabs." Bahaha! Sorry, I couldn't resist.


Any updates on your daughter bally?

a reply to: Night Star

Lol, yes soon I will post.

Nothing nasty lately.

She is away for a couple of days. Thanks for your concern.

bally

a reply to: Night Star

G'day Night Star,

As promised I will share with you and others what has occurred over the festive season.

I have had a whole lot of thinking and instead of fighting it I backed off and went with the flow. To those following this post I did this to keep a peace within the family.

I even got a hug and a "I love you daddy" from my young lady. Xmas, New Year and my birthday fall within that 2 week period.

I "let go" ( released the encumbrance) prior to Xmas, for better or worse adding up the consequences. It is now amicable between us all. I hope for a long time. Leastways the anger and aggression (from us all) has moved on from its primary point at this juncture. The lady, while still working, is broke, but we will not fund a habit for her. ( We will fund her survival but not the dealers).

In my OP I stated, "I have lost my daughter". To me this is true. The original young darling has a habit. We have come to an understanding. No drugs at our place. Visit by all means but be kind. No outside druggies here.

To my daughter I say, "I love you too honey". I will fight for her but in a different manner. Step back, take a breath, assess and move on.

Please pass onto "Martin and Hutch" for me please because I have no idea how to include them in replies.

My regards to you,

bally

a reply to: bally001

Just checked in mate . Always do but if there is nothing added i keep my replies to myself . So do you actually know she is on drugs or just guessing . Same amount of anguish for a father either way . Dont feed the dealers and if i was there mate things could get sorted real quick , dealer wise . Keep up the fight , and keep loving your daughter , all is not lost . In fact to me , it kind of seams things are headed in the right direction . Heres hoping .
Hutchy

a reply to: bally001

I know the pain you are going through, my only daughter met a drug dealer and totally changed over night, she got my house raided a few years ago, they found cannabis, coke, money and a gun. This all happened when i was seeing a woman in a different country and my daughter asked if this idiot could stay in the house when i was out of the country, i thought she would be "safer" with a man in the house but i didn't realize what he was and dealing out of my house was the last thing i was expecting.
She even expected me to take the rap for the both of them and when i refused she became a little monster to the point where i had to ask her to leave which broke my heart, i just could not take the pain she was forcing on me at the time.
She also takes after her mother as in being narcissistic and cares about nobody but herself, my sisters keep an eye on her for me as she refuses to talk to me now but my heart breaks every bloody day, i miss my baby soooo much. She is in her mid 20's now but i still dream about her being my baby, she was the perfect child, we never fought or had angry words, we just enjoyed the times we had together.

My point in this post, keep her as close as you can and do not do what i did, i would give all my limbs if i could turn back time..!

I hope 2017 is a better year for you and your daughter

bally, things have seemed to improve and I am very happy to hear that. I hope things continue to improve and that all turns out well in the end. Happy belated Birthday to you! Since Hutch replied, I shall pass your message on to Martin.

Redback, my heart goes out to you as well. I have never had children, but known enough who do. Sometimes things happen even in the best of families. Don't blame yourself or wish you could go back in time. Your daughter still would have known and befriended the man. Sometimes kids/young adults and even older adults make stupid decisions. You are not to blame for her decisions.

a reply to: hutch622

Thank Hutchy,

I know the premises quite well now having sussed it out. It is known to the police.

The young one has admitted to her mother using drugs and I think that's where things got a bit better. The admission ? Who knows for sure whether or that had an effect towards a change.

Can only advise her and keep tabs on her. Her health suffers. Very thin. Have had her go the the doctor but no feed back at present.

Damn drugs to hell.

Bally

a reply to: Night Star

I hope things continue to improve too Night Star. I wish for her to get better.

Seems Redback, with the experience he went through has had it tougher.

bally

a reply to: Redback

Bloody hell mate. You certainly have had it bad. I wish good things for you. I know how you feel in the heart. As a father I always wanted to protect my children from drug influence. Sure, experimental perhaps but not pushed by dealers and peers.

Thanks for your insight and wishes. I take your advice and will try to keep her close as possible.

kind regards,

bally

bally, things can turn around for Redback as well. Many, many times an addicted person realizes that they don't want that hell of a life they find themselves in and are able to get the help they need. They have to want to and many do get to that point. For some it doesn't take that long, for others it could be years.

Redback, it is not your daughter reacting, it is the drugs she is on. Sometimes tough love works best. I have seen it happen in other families. One day she will be apologizing for putting you through hell. I know it hurts like hell the meantime, but in the end it could work out beautifully. That is what I am wishing for you.

Hugs to anyone going through this nightmare! There is always hope. I am holding on to that hope for you.

a reply to: Night Star

Hi mate, it wasn't Hutchy, it was Redback.

Can you edit your post ?

bally