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Clan of the White Monkey (or How I learned to love Boymonkey)

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posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:11 PM
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originally posted by: DrumsRfun
Boymonkey's ego is gonna be bigger than Jesse Ventura's arms after reading this thread.

Cheers Boymonkey...good luck.


Note his significant lack of participation in this thread....

He's more jesus-like than we'd even imagined.




posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:15 PM
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Aye!, im in!, a monkey cult sounds good to me, im already a reverend, il just transfer over!. Legend has it that boymonkey may only have small arms, but each has the strength of 17 apes!
All the best.
B. V. H



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:19 PM
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originally posted by: SyxPak
a reply to: rickymouse

Well as part of the Beverage Committee Advisory Team, I will say You can have whatever You desire! Oh, and We won't use those tiny cups. I say Full Size Double Shot Glasses!!!!!!


After approval from Kukri that is!


Approved! Let it be proclaimed that no wimpy glasses shall be tolerated in the church.



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:26 PM
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originally posted by: billyvonhelvete
Aye!, im in!, a monkey cult sounds good to me, im already a reverend, il just transfer over!. Legend has it that boymonkey may only have small arms, but each has the strength of 17 apes!
All the best.
B. V. H


Let it be known that BVH is officially the dj Reverend of Revelie. He who controls the beer taps and ice cubes. Oh and dj's occasionally.(his taste in music sucks).


edit on 3/10/2015 by Kukri because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:36 PM
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originally posted by: nonspecific
I'm in simply because the earlier you get in the higher you rise and more power you have.

I love a good cult.

I'll fight you for leadership of the South West Chapter!!
"Scrumpy Monkeys" is our name



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:41 PM
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originally posted by: grainofsand

originally posted by: nonspecific
I'm in simply because the earlier you get in the higher you rise and more power you have.

I love a good cult.

I'll fight you for leadership of the South West Chapter!!
"Scrumpy Monkeys" is our name


Pah, you can have it.

I am somewhat more superior than that lowley title.



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:42 PM
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originally posted by: Kukri


First of all: Are you a Banana?


When I woke up this morning, this combination of words was not on the "Expect to hear" list.
edit on 3/10/2015 by bigfatfurrytexan because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:49 PM
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a reply to: Kukri

ALL Hail Praise to BoyMonkey!!! CHEERS!!!
Oh I should add that The double Shot Glasses are mostly for our Drinking of the Monkey Blood Mass services.
Larger Mugs are the appropriately approved Vessel of choice for Other Drinking Purposes!!!

edit on 10-3-2015 by SyxPak because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:49 PM
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originally posted by: grainofsand

originally posted by: nonspecific
I'm in simply because the earlier you get in the higher you rise and more power you have.

I love a good cult.

I'll fight you for leadership of the South West Chapter!!
"Scrumpy Monkeys" is our name


Now, now. There shall be no division in the church we must all raise our glasses and praise the Boymonkey with unison of purpose and kindness in our hearts. So light em if you have and crack another cold one to share with your fellow worshippers of all that is holy, long, hard and yellow.

Oh new proclamation: Official hail shall be the
symbols as it's easier to type especially when you're liquored.




posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:50 PM
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a reply to: nonspecific Ooh! Champagne Chimps or something yeah?!
...we could be joint leaders of the SW cult if you like, your target client group could pay 20% whereas I go for the 10% tithe folk?
Know our own markets and all that



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:51 PM
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a reply to: Kukri

CHEERS to That!!!



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:51 PM
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originally posted by: SyxPak
a reply to: Kukri

ALL Hail Praise to BoyMonkey!!! CHEERS!!!


Ermm Dragons eat monkeys but what the hell. cheers and praise be to Boymonkey




posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:53 PM
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a reply to: Kukri
Hahaha! I've just offered a compromise which could be good for church relations.



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:53 PM
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a reply to: Kukri

HAIL BOYMONKEY!!




posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:54 PM
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originally posted by: Kukri

originally posted by: network dude
a reply to: Kukri

I have a few questions first.

1. if I joined, would I be required to pay tithes? if so, what percentage? (over 70% is what I might consider excessive)
2. would my arms automatically become larger than Ventura's or would I have to work at it?
3. is there any direct contact with monkeys? (had a bad experience at the zoo when I was 5)
4. how nice is the church building. Being brought up Catholic, I am used to lots of bling.

Those should suffice for now.
Thanks.



ETA: Good lord I almost forgot. Would I be required to wear my underwear on the outside?


First of all: Are you a Banana? If so we can truthfully say there will be no cost to you other than a donation of beer or other consumables to the the church coffers to be made every friday at 4pm EST.

Um, while that's a bit personal, yes, I am indeed a banana. I will be happy to bring the Blatz, or Milwakees Best with me, along with a good supply of toilet paper. (bananas and bad beer are a wicked combo)


Secondly yes your arms will receive the blessings of the church and swell to massive proportions right after ingestion of the holy mushrooms.

will these mushroom actually have holes, or is that a euphemism for "blessed"? (I'd prefer they have holes, like a doughnut)


As you being what looks like a banana the church cannot guarantee your safety at this time.

No worries. while I do bruise easily, I am delicious until the flies come.


Our Church is presently being lovingly renovated by a caring team of archeologists at this time as it fell into a state of disuse for a few centuries. But worry not you can look forward to experiencing a wonderful tropical paradise once it is restored to it's former glory.

I'll bring some tapestry and golden what-nots to spruce up the place.


Clothing is optional but you may wear your underwear in whatever fashion pleases you the most. Any further questions regarding attire may be directed to The Bishops of Bananas and Babes

Thank monkey. I was hoping to go back to my roots and wear it on my head. (like I did at the zoo when I was 5)



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:58 PM
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a reply to: Kukri

Well I am a shapeshifting Dragon. I shift to Human form as well. That is a Primate related species so I should be able handle My Eating Monkey urges, somewhat. Just keep My Dragons Head Stein full at all times when I am in Human form and a Full Barrel of Ale for when I am in Dragon form, and I will be just fine! In whatever form I happen to be in at the time!!! LMFAO!!!
However I need to find a better way to open barrels when in Dragon form. Last time I tried to use fire to get the lid open, and it exploded!!!



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 01:59 PM
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a reply to: Dimithae

Oh Umm, don't forget the suggested format for Hailing!
!!

edit on 10-3-2015 by SyxPak because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 02:02 PM
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a reply to: SyxPak

Good vibrations lol. When you start to levitate is when you know there's a problem.



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 02:02 PM
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How dare you!, my music tastes are wide, granted most of it is heavy as hell!lol, il keep keep an eye on the beer n ice cubes!, what may i ask is your job kind sir?
All the best
B. V. H a reply to: Kukri


(Guardian of beer n ice cubes!)



posted on Mar, 10 2015 @ 02:08 PM
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For members to appreciate the origins of our beloved leader Boymonkey here is his ancestral home. As you can see there are an abundance of trees and rocks as well as some caves and ruins for you know "monkey business". Unfortunately our treasures will be getting removed at a later date for security reasons but shall be replaced with an Olympic sized swimming pool 3 hot tubs a bar on every outcropping and a cinema which will loop the "Planet of the Apes" movies continuously. Once the finances of the church are suitably improved we will be offering religious retreats to those members who have shown suitable humility and poo slinging skills.




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