The 2014 SAD / Holiday Depression Discussion Thread

Its true. Licter is tearing up. Im laying right next to him hehe

originally posted by: Lichter daraus
a reply to: sarra1833

Thank you sarra, im crying but they are tears of happiness because of your caring heart.
Yes I feel your hugs,and im sending hugs back.

Peace.


Sorry to the men here, I know im a sap, but im a pretty sensitive guy.
Should I even be sorry for that though, I don't know, but its who I am.

Real men cry. Cowards bottle things up and end up exploding or burning down.

Signed - a former emotionally stunted coward.

a reply to: Hefficide

So true friend, so true. I like how you worded it.

Peace.

a reply to: Lichter daraus

No no no, you cry as you NEED to and never EVER apologize.
Crying isn't a 'girl' thing. It's a human thing and something needed for health. I said something somewhere about bottling up and how it's not good for a person? Truth.

Not crying causes stress and just mind and soul and heart achy-ness. So you let it out, bawl, sniffle, sob, wail. However long you cry, so be it. It doesn't make you weak or 'unmanly'.

It makes you human.
It lets you know you're still alive, care and FEEL.
That's beautiful right there.
You still CARE. That was never taken from you, and it never ever will be.

love, love, LOVE.

originally posted by: krazykole27
Its true. Licter is tearing up. Im laying right next to him hehe

Give him a long loving hug from me, will you, please?

a reply to: sarra1833

Absolutely!!!! I just did

originally posted by: krazykole27
a reply to: sarra1833

Absolutely!!!! I just did

I know this is off topic and will get removed but im saying it anyway, I love you baby girl.
Thank you for being you and being there for me. Love you always and forever.

Xoxo

a reply to: krazykole27

Thanks

See? Even people on the Interwebs can still have contact with each other. I'm grateful you are there to get my hug to him when he needs as much as he can get (enter lessthan3 here, hehe)

a reply to: Lichter daraus

Aw they won't remove that.
It's showing the power of love and healing, which is what this topic is all about.

a reply to: Lichter daraus

Aweeee :') xoxo :*

Speaking with a few people ( while barely awake yet ) I see the next challenge for a lot of people looming, literally around the corner.

Black Friday.

The allure of deeply discounted items, especially for people on limited budgets, is overpowering. This is a chance for people to get gifts for others ( or themselves ) at a price they'd never be able to get otherwise. This is a HUGE win for most of the population. It is also a huge draw for those with depression or anxiety issues - and THAT can be a HUGE trigger for problems. Crowds, aggression, having to wait for hours... None of these things good for those who have a hard time coping, have low self-esteems or anxiety problems.

I, myself, am debating upon whether or not I'll be out tomorrow trying to get a discount on what I want to buy for my daughter. I'm inclined, currently, to simply order it online and say to Hell with the huge discount. Then again, money is money and standing in line is a temptation.

So, for those of you in the same boat... Some things I have learned over the years about staying functional in crowds and aggressive situations.

1) Do your best to ignore the external issues. If there are 500 people in line, strike up a conversation with the one or two people closest to you ( if they are friendly ) and try to focus solely upon the little "group" you are in.

2) Breathe! If anxiety or fear begins to creep in, close your eyes, imagine a peaceful place ( like a beach, or a forest, or your home - whatever works ) and slowly breathe in, through your nostrils and out of your mouth, deeply. Ten or fifteen such breaths should help stave off the negative feelings.

3) Eyes on the prize! Focus on the reason you are there and connect with it. If you are in line to buy a specific item, imagine it already in your hands. Imagine the moment that it's over and you are walking out of the door with it. Connect the two moments and think to yourself that it's already achieved, you're simply waiting for it to happen.

4) Make it a point to see this as a trial with purpose. If you make it to the finish line, you'll have done something that you were afraid of. You'll have conquered the fear!

These are tricks I use myself and they do work.

John

originally posted by: PapagiorgioCZ
No woman no cry. I'll tell you a secret. Cash makes winter awesome. And that a winter sex takes much more energy and can make you sick.
Cloudy sky sucks but when I see the stars I feel that the whole space is freezing like nirvana. Never ending circle of ignorance-nature is separating dirt from liquid waters and moving consciousness to higher chakra. One can sense the purity.
At night there's also sunrise on the other side of the world. At the same time a summer is coming to the south and salsa is played so loud you can almost hear it. Your brain is able to produce exactly the same feeling as you were lying on the beach once upon the time. You just have to remember and memorize what you want and what is good. OR refresh the feeling.
I stay with brainwaves-altering audio and herbs. You don't have to play games like others. Mix those two with the sauna, close your eyes, put some rainforrest sound into your ears and you'll be in the jungle. A jiff of such altered consciousness can separate you from any stupid reality for weeks. You just have to keep yourself in your secret places in your head.

Wow!...whoever you are...(I can't read your name)...Where are you?
I am in 'the south', (Quintana Roo, Mexico) and the salsa is indeed playing, but....
I am truly very sad and lonely and have suffered recent traumas, but I do all the things that you do to restore my centeredness and protect it from being messed around by uncontrollable intrusions into my inner soul.
That's how I survive this insiduous reality of the mundane world.

Maybe ATS should host a 'Lonely Hearts Club' thread...?
It could help people to expose their souls and divulge what beautiful attributes they have...to be shared... as well as what is so terribly missing from their lives...things they yearn for.

We could make some awesome connections, by openly sharing our sentiments with those of like-mind.
It seems so senseless to suffer from sadness and lonliness...

Yes I too have perpetual canned 'rainforest sounds', tropical birdsong, playing all day and night. It cheers me up, dulls any pain and reminds me that Nature is all that's important and that being close, sympathetic and acutely aware of Nature around us, can heal the human psyche.

Well friends gotta go give some love to our bunny then head off to bed, im beat from the driving.
Ill be back tomorrow to check out this thread.

Love and hugs to everybody, goodnight.

Peace.

Im doing the same as lichter. Ill be back tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.
Lessthan3 to all

originally posted by: Lichter daraus
a reply to: sarra1833

Thank you sarra, im crying but they are tears of happiness because of your caring heart.
Yes I feel your hugs,and im sending hugs back.

Peace.


Sorry to the men here, I know im a sap, but im a pretty sensitive guy.
Should I even be sorry for that though, I don't know, but its who I am.

Don't ever be sorry. A good heart these days is hard to find - Feargal Sharkey!

Sensitivity encourages empathy. Sometimes though, people like to manipulate that for their own enjoyment But trust in yourself and keep on stoking that big heart!

There's no hug emoticons here so I am just going to leave you with a medal

a reply to: Lichter daraus

Don't ever apologize for who you are! Just means you're in touch with your emotions if you can cry happy tears!

I am so sorry for what your step father did and that your mother didn't believe you. You are her child. Blood should come first.

Sarra1833 is right.
Don't hate them. Forgive. Don't feel shame either for what happened it is not your fault or shame . That is your step father and your mothers shame.

Instead think. Why did they do what they did? Why did your mother not believe you? What happened to me also happened to my sisters. I confronted my mother again as I got older for my sisters sake, and told her how I felt about what happened without blaming her for the choices she made. I found out my mother herself was molested by her cousin and had difficulties discussing what happened to us because she hadn't accepted what happened to her. She also hated and blamed herself for what happened to her, my and my sisters, and the pain was too much for her so she blocked it out and pretended everything was ok.

Your stepfather... What he did was terrible. But it is possible to forgive. I found out my cousin had been molested by his own mother. He did what he did to me to understand what he had been through. He wanted someone to understand as well. He didn't want to be alone with his pain. That and he was brainwashed to believe that his actions were ok because his mother taught his that it was. What he did was wrong, but forgivable, he's only human and we all make mistakes. When we cause others pain, most likely it because we ourselves feel pain inside. We just don't want to be alone in our pain.

Sigh... I'm not sure if I explained this right or if it will help, but I'm trying the best I can. Try and find your way of forgiving them and letting the shame and guilt go. But remember you're not alone! As sarra1833 said, you are loved

a reply to: Lichter daraus

Lol after an 1hr and half of trying to figure out what to type I see all those messages you and krazykole27 were sending to each other! Awwww She seems like an amazing person hold on to that love!!!

Ps you two are too cute talking online together!

originally posted by: Hefficide


Sorry to the men here, I know im a sap, but im a pretty sensitive guy.
Should I even be sorry for that though, I don't know, but its who I am.

Real men cry. Cowards bottle things up and end up exploding or burning down.

Signed - a former emotionally stunted coward.

You are a sweet guy. I don't think you were ever a coward--you just weren't grown yet

Yeah, last Christmastime was the first time I've ever had a panic attack at the mall. I love the mall--being a girl and into things like that. However, I have been avoiding the mall ever since, afraid that it might happen again. I felt like all of a sudden everything was all wavy and way too hot and like I was going to pass out or something. I ended up not passing out and just having my heart pounding like mad. Granted, I hadn't slept the night before and think that my adderall probably had something to do with it/dehydration. But ever since then, I've had a major confidence loss and it's been a big struggle getting that back. Still working on it, actually. And I used to be like super confident--almost too much so lol.

To deal with all of the sad crap that life throws at me, I always try to remember that everything happens for a reason. And that maybe I needed to go through bad things in order to have good things happen later. Like, everyone has their faults. Life seems to help us on our way to self-actualization, you know?

Great thread. Maybe you should start a group or something on here where people can private pm the staff of the group who would work to listen and help. Since it seems that many of us share similarities mentally. Like a suicide prevention/support thing or something since you guys have radio stuff already. Since some people might be embarrassed and not comment on a thread like this. Just wanted to put that out there. People deal with issues like that everywhere--even on World of Warcraft so I'm not saying it's just here or anything.

Though on second thought I just realized the liability issue. Nevermind lol pipedreams ftw

a reply to: rukia

You nailed it. Liability. Plus the danger of trolls in such a thread. For each of us who would geniunely reach out and sincerely try to help those in crisis - there would be others who would come along and post hatred just for the lulz. That and well intentioned people with really bad advice.

One of the pitfalls of mental illness is that, often, people will come off of their meds and feel like they've lifted the veil and become geniuses - when in reality they've simply allowed their illnesses to take over and have become delusional. Over the years I've had many, many friends do this and it's extremely difficult to make them realize that they were better off on their meds.

In fact I have a close blood relative who prefers to believe that he's got chips implanted in his brain and that the Illuminati is trying to kill him - as he believes he is the new Tupac Shakur - rather than to accept that he's not well.

For all of the above reasons, what we can do here is limited to a moral support role. We can share our experiences, tips and tricks for coping, and offer one another praise and respect. Beyond that, it all gets legally and morally sketchy.

a reply to: sarra1833

crying is good for your brain.

It releases chemicals...the big one is endorphin and that chemical restores chemical imbalances etc/alleviates depression etc.

crying has nothing to do with gender.... it is a brain thing. lol (if you have a brain...then crying, laughing is a function of the brain to restore your body/mind)