Would you step in . Domestic violence apathy .

a reply to: hutch622

I greatly enjoy watching these social 'experiments'. Another good one is a series called "what would you do".

When it comes to stepping in between a domestic dispute, it would depend on a variety of factors.

For example, in my neighborhood everyone keeps their windows open, and usually the blinds too. One night we heard screaming from a house that we usually never hear a peep from. Looked out, and saw through the window what was clearly a nasty situation. My instincts immediately suggested I should call the police, and since I was safely inside my house, that's exactly what I did. I couldn't have lived with myself if I saw what I did and said nothing to the authorities. (Of course, for days afterward I kept waiting for my car to get keyed or something, though it never did). My husband and I also continued to watch the situation, not to be nosy, but in case it escalated to the point that immediate intervention was needed before the police arrived. Thankfully, it simmered down.

As far as the situation in the video........ well, it's hard to say what we will do until we are placed in a given situation. I want to say that I would have tried to stop the abuse, and it's likely that I would have since I always have a knife and pepper spray on me (with which to protect myself, not attack the guy). But to play devils advocate... those people were stuck in a very small space with what they might have presumed to be a psychopath. Self preservation is a very strong instinct.

a reply to: MojaveBurning

As i have stated previously there is no real right answer sadly . Here in Australia you cannot carry mace or conceal a knife so that kind of takes that form of self protection . We have a moral obligation to step in even if it is calling the police to let them handle the situation . Perhaps this thread needs to be expanded to cover other situations as well .

a reply to: hutch622

It's a complicated problem, obviously. Sadly, as you state, there really are no right answers. But I go with the obligation to step in, over not…..just for the possibility of what could happen when you see violence on someone helpless and do nothing.

Interesting enough... and again... when anyone makes a video about domestic violence AND again the replies that follow never talk about women-on-man violence.

So... for one guy: would your 6ft "army bloke" size count for instance? For another: Would your friend try to kill the girl who was being violent to her boyfriend? Nah... I didnt think so either.

Bunch of white knights.

Stop with these bs videos please and these bs campaigns.

a reply to: FraternitasSaturni

You might note that i said perhaps this thread should be expanded .

a reply to: FraternitasSaturni

Its not a bs campaign at all, have you looke at the statistics of how many women die from domestic violence each year? Not only women but children are killed because of it aswell and even if they get out alive they are mentally damaged and scarred from it for life, trust me i know. Anyone that brings light to this subject is doing a good thing in my opinion and yes domestic violence against men is just as bad, men are also killed and badly injured from it aswell and its awful.

I almost stepped in one day when I was at a "mate's" house and he threw his girlfriend against a door and she fell on the ground. I stood up and knew I could not stand there and let her be beaten up but but this bloke did not do anything more at this stage. I do not regard him as a friend any more. The thing that shocked me was that the other blokes said that "she deserved it". No she didn't. I bet this was not the first or last time he pushed her around.
As the poster above says if you step in they might both turn on you and you end up being the bad guy.

a reply to: grumpy64

Does isis deserve to be bombed into oblivion .Yes I believe so . Does a female /gay/male/ left handed person deserve to be beaten up for what they are . No

a reply to: hutch622

I would and I have. Would do it again, too. I once had a guy hold my arm over a lighter flame while he was sitting at a table at a sidewalk cafe. There were plenty of people who saw what he was doing, saw my distress and my attempts to get my arm free of him. How many stepped in to intervene? Zero. It added to the humiliation really. It was one thing to have your arm held to a flame. It was a whole other thing to be humiliated so utterly because not a single soul stopped the jerk doing it. He soaked that up really well. *He thought it was hilarious and it fed his power trip.

Hence why I chose to intervene and will always intervene.

PS. Now I know judo, too.

Would I step in?

Damn right I would and I have done so in more times than I would like to admit. Sometimes I am able to diffuse the situation by pulling the male (and in some cases females), aside and simply speaking to them. Other times it has turned into a physical confrontation. I can also say that females are actually more difficult to deal with than their male counterparts.

a reply to: hutch622

Been in a pub where domestic violence was happening between a smallish, petite Women and her then soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend.

He was drunk, and went off on one for some reason, probably thought she was eyeing someone up or something like that, and swung for her.

He caught her square in the face with a punch i thought i would only see in a pub fight between two out of control blokes, it was a hard punch that split her lip right open.

And yeah, i got involved and so did my Wife. Wife took the Women out of sight into the loos, while i restrained the bloke and told him a few hard facts of life, like picking on people his own size for one.

It's a symptom of a broken society when people ignore this behaviour and cocoon themselves off in their private bubbles as it were.

Another story like this is where a Women was being raped in a major city park and dozens of passers by were ignoring what was happening before their eyes and walked on by...how the hell people could ignore such things and count themselves as civilised people is a mystery to me.

a reply to: MysterX

Theres the thing though . If the actual violence was happening people are more inclined to step in . If it is only threatened people back away hoping it will be someone else's problem . It is a choice of not so much who you are but what you are . Some people might be up to the challenge of stepping in , others not so . The 6 foot plus bloke stepping in is expected , the little person not so much . No answers here unfortunately

I have.

I saw a "man" and I use the term losely kicking his Girlfreinds in the head while she was on the floor.

I jumped out the car with a knife and chased the dirt bag off. But all i got was the girl calling me a interfering c..t (blood pouring down her face) and her running of after that scum bag screaming she was sorry...,

a reply to: crazyewok

Some people never learn i suppose.

Either that, or they were both into BDSM or something and wanted something a little 'public'?

Who knows what drives people, but you were taling one hell of a chance chasing after the bloke with a knife mate...you'd have been doing serious time if plod had caught you doing that.

a reply to: hutch622

That's true.

But maybe the reasons for not stepping in to diffuse a situation that looks like it might get out of hand, is people hope that it will fizzle out before it gets hot?

A wait and see approach?

a reply to: MysterX

Or maybe it is a fear of what crazywok said above .

a reply to: hutch622

Yeah, could be.

People could also be worried about getting arrested themselves too.

a reply to: MysterX

I am not sure about the arrest thing here . There is a big chance that both the victim and attacker could turn on you and you get arrested for any harm done . That is another question i have no answer to . Hopefully the lift has CCTV .

originally posted by: MysterX
a reply to: crazyewok

Some people never learn i suppose.

Either that, or they were both into BDSM or something and wanted something a little 'public'?

Who knows what drives people, but you were taling one hell of a chance chasing after the bloke with a knife mate...you'd have been doing serious time if plod had caught you doing that.

Well the guy was bigger than me and im useless in a hand to hand fight, didnt want my head kicked in either.

a reply to: crazyewok

It was good of you to want to do something in the first place, so not knocking you for what you did, just mentioning caution for anyone else thinking about using a blade to chase a bloke down the street with.

I think you were both brave and lucky.