Drunk and lonely need advice from you lovely folk.

reply to post by Pimpintology


You are right about men being beaten and not wanting to talk about it. I was in a marraige like that. She would hit me with whatever was around, furniture, channel lock pliers, you name it. It's hard to admit something like that being a man, plus you don't want to hit back because she's a woman. Well, at least I didn't. The demoralizing effect it can have on a person is devastating. My current wife tells me that it took her something like 10 years to get me over it.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Knock one out. You'll be fine after and probably go to sleep.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Go to bo bo sweetpea......
I'll have aspirin and coffee ready when you wake up!

reply to post by littled16


ALready woke up its nearly 1pm here
Bad head and a little embarrassed to say the least

Unsolicited advice ... you are still wounded from past relationships. talk to someone (professionally) to help you get all that sorted out before you get into another relationship. And when/if you are ready, don't be afraid of EHarmony and those kind of places ... they are MUCH safer than bar hopping etc etc ...

Good luck!

reply to post by boymonkey74


Don't be embarrassed sweets! Everyone has a rough night now and again!
Personally I have my youngest hide my laptop when I'm having one of those sob in my tequila nights, but sometimes even she isn't quick enough to stop me before putting my foot in my mouth. You are in good company dear!

boymonkey74
reply to post by littled16

 

ALready woke up its nearly 1pm here

Bad head and a little embarrassed to say the least

You'll get use to it lol!! Nice party we had !! thanks!!

reply to post by boymonkey74


Are you going to follow through and meet up with leopardpimps
I would ask that any follow up would be kept on this thread?
Good Luck if....

Just passing the pub to offer my two cents.

From the sounds of it, you don't seem to have a problem being around a bar or pub. Think of a dating site as a huge pub, with people that may be like you. I met my first couple ex's on dating sites, and for me, I didn't have it too badly. The ones I did were free (although a part of me thinks I'd be better off with a paid site).

If it's not your scene, then try going out and doing things you like. If you like being outdoors, try signing up for adult hiking trips or even something like canoeing. Like the indoor variety of adventure? Find a spot you haven't been to in a while (in my case, I haven't been down to Frankenmuth in a while). I mean, heck, even a visit to a pub is better than hiding at home behind a computer screen (unless you are into competitive gamers, in which case playing a game is probably more romantic).

Another thing - You have to talk in order to be heard. Sure, you might find someone attractive at a friend's party, but the only way you'll get to know them is to talk. You might find that they share a common interest, or that you both like the same activities. Stay silent if you want to observe people, and say something if you want them to see you.

You are older than me by a considerable amount, but if there's a young person that is interested in you, don't instantly turn them away (unless you know for a fact it won't work out). In today's society, it's generally more accepted to have an age gap (myself, I go +-3 years of my current age, because I prefer to not fall for someone that is so far behind that they are immature, and not so far ahead of me that I come off as a "kid" - plus, it's probably better to find someone that can stand on their own two feet without your help, metaphorically speaking).

-fossilera

reply to post by boymonkey74

The bars and clubs are where you met your exs soth you`ll only meet the same type of people there. The dating sites usually have a bunch of goldiggers there and sociopaths there as most of them need your income to be a category in their profiles (My dad had issues with this fact and there almost were lasting consequences for him when he joined an online dating site). Just be yourself and it will come. Go on afew of the offers to you as age really dosn`t matter as my birth grandparents on my Mum`s side were 20 years apart in age.

Relationships can be very hard. I have come to understand a few things. Don't jump back into a relationship til you have had time to get some serious "Me Time". Think about it. Now is the time to do all the things you would love to do, but never had the, lets just say, permission.

So there you are, a single man with the world at his fingertips. Now is time for you to make some exciting plans, knowing all along that at the last minute if you get a wild hair to do something else, there is no one to disappoint.

So, my friend, life can as good or bad as you want it to be. There is nothing like the love of a woman, but there is nothing like absolute freedom either.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Buy a DVD and do your homework!

reply to post by akushla99



Great suggestion.....

I just got divorced after 31 years of a relationship and 30 years of marriage... my ex wife English I am transplanted Californian has had sever cancer that claimed her mother and her aunt all at the same time in each of their lives. I moved here (Devon) after one year of marriage as we came here with our first born as fast as I could get a passport sorted (my wife got preg 4 months after marriage) so Mother in law could see her first granddaughter as she had 3 girls of her own and up to now only grandsons. Bless her she held out until we got here and 9 days later passed away..... I left my wife here for 5 months cause being an empath I felt for my father in law.... big mistake. Bigger mistake moving here after she got back to Calif.... 2.4 years after almost inoperative cancer and her taking a tablet that removes the female hormone as that is one of the things that feeds her cancer she decide I am surplus..... I walk with nothing as I could not get a lawyer and have the home I lived in for 30 year sold and lawyers making the lion share of the money.... besides her father now has Vascular Dementia... When we moved here we had him and his parents to look after... Point is BoyMonkey full respects to you for the job you are doing underpaid with little thanks... Yes I was also in an abusive relationship due to my commitment and being on the wrong side of the pond.... over a barrow as it were. I have not always agreed with your postings trust me when I say I have a new respect for you..... lol don't have to agree for respect.... nevertheless I came here because I need the same advice LOL at me....

Back on topic.... I lived with a lady who made my life beyond worth living.... She had a problem whereas she came home as a young girl and found her father dead from self inflicted gun shot to the head..... She, bless her, could not continue with a relationship after a year... Big history of it.... LOL @ me I was to be different.... Lasted 3 happy years and fourth from hell... yep she replaced me before there was a suggestion we were over.... I moved, and had great friends who helped me through the black days cause I loved Nancy!!! IMHO there was nobody to blame it was as it was and my replacement???? Lasted one year... I was also lucky to have a great friend in the City (commuted everyday via GG Bridge) who was late leaving on a Friday nite and in those days better to visit happy hour than 2 hours bummer to bummer for 20 miles whereas after one drink and free food one can drive home in the standard 30 mins. Point was my friend and my replacement got into a conversation.... My friend knew who he was and that was a reason for that moment.... Did my mind a world of good here about their relationship. 6mts and things were not good. My new roommate worked as a professional in the local shopping center... He knew a tons of "girls" yep younger then lol, but they were much younger than myself... I met one during one of our parties... she was a nice girl going to George Town Uni.... Worked in the City for the summer work experience... Lived in a beautiful expensive part of Marin with her parents for the summer. Because I was in outside sales and almost could make my own schedule I picked her up from summer job in the City from my territory and took her home. We spent the summer as friends and that was all, just friends... we went all over the Bay Area sampling Chinese food and going to Charlie Chaplin films in Berkeley. I know her father looked sideways at me as he was an oil exec with that kind of look... but he trusted his daughter. Point is after that summer I got myself back in dating mood. Over a year later my ex wife was introduced to me by professional friends who did not know she was married and staying in California whilst waiting for a divorce to be finalized. I did not know she was married or overstayed her visa until after my proposal..... was it worth it.... I look at my youngest daughter who will be married this weekend who is 27 and BTW I approve of her young man who is a very matured 23 year old working over my dead body in WMD as a scientist.... but they are meant for each other and yep that makes this pain I am like yours worth it. Want a smile? You are home and 39......

So maybe before dating you should have a friend ship with a young lady who is together..... I still smile for that summer experience and hope she had a wonderful time whilst I remembered women are not the enemy!!!!! Good Luck M8!!!! Yep sipping a California Cab right now...

--------------------
Just read

VictorVonDoom
reply to post by boymonkey74

I must say that is outstanding advice.... The young lady that summer was exactly this preparing myself whilst waiting...

Okay what have I been doing since this divorce and moving to my "Cell"? Well I walked everyday almost of summer and in Devon we not had a summer for several years... My only good luck!!! Walk along the sea wall below where I used to live. The walk is around a mile and a half and I did that twice leaving on foot from my cell.... I been told last month I need a new ankle this was on the cards for several years... had I not moved from my job in Calif. this would not have needed doing.... my mistake was very expensive this move of mine; looking at daughter in minds eye for a moment and then say nawwwwwwww... a constant argument within one's self.... I knew I needed her to be proud of her daddy walking down the aisle of a proper white wedding..... She is proud of me but I wanted to be worthy of that so I have lost over 70 pounds 6 - 7 sizes around the middle (since measuring for father of bride uniform end of July, 5 sizes and 3 sizes on the chest.....) I just finish 1000 crunches using my exerciser ball. Since weather stopped walking I am doing 800 per day... your fault today 1000 due to wine and this thread and listening to soundtrack from Cloud Atlas.... so I am getting my body ready to meet someone new whilst trying to get my head right... not easy after 31 years of a not so good relationship.... Wonderful in California but when moved here she had me over the barrow as it were whilst her father and Gparents living under same roof one looses a wife whilst they gain their daughter and Gdaughter back..... Great for my two girls growing up... always need to see some positive always... Once again Good Luck...

reply to post by boymonkey74


I have to agree with leopardpimps. Stop looking and you will surely find love. I got so fed up and disgusted with men that I didn't date for five years. So when I wasn't looking I found the love of my life. He was 24 years older than me and died after our two years together. Then just six months later when I was still mourning my loss I connected with someone who has been the best thing to come into my life. We have been together since 1997.

boymonkey74
Ok many know me here and may know a bit about my past but for those who don't I have been married 3 times twice a battered husband and the last one just lied and took everything and I vowed not to bother again but in times like this (a wee bit drunk) I miss the company of a partner, so I have decided to try and date again.
I have women at work asking me out but they are too young (Iam 39) and I remember what 20 years olds were like when I was that age and I don't think I can go through all that again.
My pals all say go on a online dating site but for some reason It just screams desperate to me, so any advice? should I try a online dating site? or go back to the bars and clubs where I met all my other partners?
Drunk btw and I will regret this tmr

Online dating seems more desperate that posting for dating advice on a conspiracy forum?

ok then.

EDIT: I wrote out an entire thesis but deleted it. Because none of the advice here matters.

Go out enjoy life because one day you will be dead and none of this will matter.

reply to post by boymonkey74



I am going to give you some advice that will save you more heartache in the future. Age sometimes makes a difference, but not like many people think.

There are just as many adolescent 30, 40 and 50 year old's as there are 20 year old's.

When looking for someone that is compatible in your life, you need to seek out something that you personally love to do first.

Example: I love to dance so I find venues where I can partner dance with women, this allows for common ground. I also love the outdoors, camping, hiking, and fishing, but not many women like this type of activity so my chances are lessened.

Do you see what I am driving at?

You need to discover yourself first, then you find happiness with yourself, that will surely attract the same type of person.

Good luck to you,

RT

reply to post by Realtruth


You got the right idea

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by boymonkey74


YA ! the next person you meet and like get to know her sober and make her your friend, sex is a deal braker if you don't get to know each other and like her like a friend. Friendship is what will hold you together, sex should only be the icing on the relationship or cake if you prefer.

If sex is great and you really haven't tried to see if your really like each other then that's all you will ever have between you, try it, your 0 for 3, what can it hurt.

MichaelPMaccabee
I met the love of my life on the internet 12 years ago.

Not a dating site, a gaming website.

Of course, she was engaged to another, and I professed my love... and she married him.

Fast forward 6 years, we're both single and I finally convince her to take a chance.

Our son, Sagan, celebrated his first birthday in June.




Keep trying, man. There are people out there that are perfect for you. If the internet has taught me anything it's that no matter how weird or quirky or normal or conservative or liberal you are, there is someone out there that is looking for exactly what you have to offer.

Dude thats awesome. This is the kind of story needed to motivate people to try out dating sites or gaming sites instead of the usual bar scene.

reply to post by boymonkey74


My advice to you is this: life is too short to worry about finding a partner. Once you learn to love yourself and accept yourself, everything good follows. My mom told me the only person that will be guaranteed to be with you when you die is you. Learn to live with yourself......then enjoy some fine folks....