Drunk and lonely need advice from you lovely folk.

OpinionatedB
reply to post by beezzer

 

This is so sweet... it makes me happy!



Oh... and you can pick some numbers for me tomorrow too!

Happy to make you smile, ma'am. I'll have those numbers for you tomorrow!

Having 13 ex wives scattered about the planet am probably not one to listen to on relationship advise .. on drunk posting .. made some of my best posts while drunk ..

Back to topic .. if the 20 somethings are interested go out have fun beats being alone till you find the right one .. ( am 70 and seeing one thats 34 on my trips downriver age doesnt mean a thing ) but to find one who can cook and take care of house try looking at markets and shops .. not sure about the online thing not tried it .. but with how tech is everywhere these days use it .. good luck on your search

reply to post by Expat888


13 good god you should write a book dude wow

boymonkey74
reply to post by Expat888

 

13 good god you should write a book dude

wow

Yeah right!1 I'd buy that one lol!! jeez!!

reply to post by Expat888


Seriously besides the 13 wives thing, you have given me a TON of hope

Peace, NRE.

Coming from a younger guy let me tell you. Dating sites don't scream desperate anymorw. I know several people that opted for this over the bar scene. Might be safe to say this is the "in" thing to do. Some of my female friends even prefer this as they feel its safer. They can get the sense they know you before meeting you. Good luck in whatever you try and I hope you find happiness.

Been told many times should write book .. maybe one day will currently occupied with other pursuits no time for writing ..


Theres always hope .. then again will admit am a glutton for punishment .. maybe one day I will find the right one to spend life with .. as retired now have the time unlike when younger and spent most of my time studying and working.

Simple, do the not doing of what you think you want and all will come to you. Paraphrased from "Don Juan" Carlos Castaneda," A Yaqui way of Knowledge"

leopardpimps
reply to post by boymonkey74

 

west Yorkshire . where are you from?

I want to know how it goes when you and boymonkey meet up. What a cute couple you'd make!

Good luck boymonkey! Have fun and keep us informed.

reply to post by boymonkey74


This is probably not the best advice you'll get here, but I'll offer it anyway.

Stop looking.

Think of it this way. Suppose you want a car. You figure out what you can afford, you check the paper, maybe go to a few dealers, etc. You wind up settling for the best car that you can get. You may or may not be happy with it, but that's what you got.

Instead, if you figure you can go without a car for a while and save your money, you'll be ready when you come by that sweet 1965 Corvette that some old lady had sitting under a cover in the garage every since her husband died.

What I'm trying to say is, instead of spending your time and energy looking for a woman, spend it trying to improve yourself. Then when that special lady comes along, you can offer her the best you that you can be. It's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, but you can never go wrong with self improvement.

Best of luck, my friend.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Ya a dating site (no paid ones though, only free ones like POF), or craigslist ha ha. don't get married so easy in future. You must date for at least 5 years before getting married. That's what Dr Laura Slessinger says.

reply to post by spartacus699


Disagree. If I were single again and decided to try online dating, the free sites are the last place I would look for a mate. If you can't be bothered to shell out a couple of bucks to try and find a decent person you probably aren't that serious about yourself or what you expect from your partner.

We had some adds running up here awhile ago that were spoofs of online dating commercials except they were actually for an STD awareness campaign. The name of the website in the spoof was "Plenty of Syph". I lol'd so hard.

I met the love of my life on the internet 12 years ago.

Not a dating site, a gaming website.

Of course, she was engaged to another, and I professed my love... and she married him.

Fast forward 6 years, we're both single and I finally convince her to take a chance.

Our son, Sagan, celebrated his first birthday in June.




Keep trying, man. There are people out there that are perfect for you. If the internet has taught me anything it's that no matter how weird or quirky or normal or conservative or liberal you are, there is someone out there that is looking for exactly what you have to offer.

boymonkey74
reply to post by wtbengineer

 

At the time of that date I looked after old folk, and now I look after people with learning disabilities

Not well payed and I have to wipe bums

Oh cheers all so far

Hey, if someone can't respect a man that does that job then WTH?? I respect you man. I couldn't do it. You are an underappreciated lot. Cheers to you mate!

If I am ever lonely and drunk again (drunk is much more likely to happen sooner than lonely in my case) then I am just going to do what my old mate Boy Monkey did and start a thread. I wonder if the site owners would agree to a match/dating/hooking-up ATS forum. The only problem I can see is that if it became the most used forum it would overshadow the original purpose of ATS and it might serve to reinforce the stereotype of the Internet Conspiracy person in the minds of others.

reply to post by MichaelPMaccabee


Awww - congrats to you two.

Just another example that the OP should try another route for partnership instead of the usual bar scene.

(*So you both are gamers - I'm so jealous.)

Stop drinking and go to church for starters. I am sure someone will flame me for that. However fact is there is nothing in a bar that I would ever want to talk to or take home. Did you meet your past partners in a bar? You said you were battered. I do not think repeating that cycle is a good idea. If you don't like church volunteer somewhere. Join a hobby club. If you aren't socializing you aren't going to meet someone.

The last thing I would want to tell someone is that I met my wife or partner on the Internet, or in a bar. There's a reason for that. I am younger then you, maybe I am just more long term minded I dunno. I am not interested in anything short term. I am not interested in STD's. You need to remember what you went through. You know the saying that "those who do not study history are condemned to repeat it"?

You can slip into that old mindset and pickup another one that will either beat you or steal from you. Being beaten as a man is very real these days. It happens far more then anyone even realizes because a man feels as if he shouldn't talk about it. I feel for you and hope you make the right choices. Please remember that what has not worked in the past likely will not work in the future.

I also feel as if dating someone from work is like going into your own backyard to defecate. Not a good idea. I have been hit on by beautiful women at work and it was extremely difficult to say no, but I have seen how that turns out. You should be looking for someone with moral fiber. That person will likely expect you to be of the same caliber. You will know a good woman from her actions.

Best advice I can give you bud.

reply to post by Pimpintology


"Please remember that what has not worked in the past likely will not work in the future." Quote Pimpintology

This is the most pertinent part of your post (IMHO)...really good advice!..but I have a 'feeling', there will be a follow-up thread...

Å99

VictorVonDoom
reply to post by boymonkey74

 

This is probably not the best advice you'll get here, but I'll offer it anyway.

Stop looking.

Think of it this way. Suppose you want a car. You figure out what you can afford, you check the paper, maybe go to a few dealers, etc. You wind up settling for the best car that you can get. You may or may not be happy with it, but that's what you got.

Instead, if you figure you can go without a car for a while and save your money, you'll be ready when you come by that sweet 1965 Corvette that some old lady had sitting under a cover in the garage every since her husband died.

What I'm trying to say is, instead of spending your time and energy looking for a woman, spend it trying to improve yourself. Then when that special lady comes along, you can offer her the best you that you can be. It's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, but you can never go wrong with self improvement.

Best of luck, my friend.

I agree with VictorVonDoom. I was only 18 and "finished" dating. Never was physically abused, but lied to, and it was a huge one...so I swore off men of course and threw myself into my work.

By the way, a few years later I was working in your field as a caregiver. Someone has to do it, and you have to love it or it can't be done. Having the compassion needed to treat others like family in some of the worst times of their lives is a wonderful thing. I'd have to say the pay stinks but I stayed because I built trusting relationships with clients and their families. Often times I was asked to do private duty away from the agency and made much more money. That may be something for you to consider if you can get reference letters and you'd need to stay away from any exclusivity clauses with agencies.

Anyway......I became busy with doing things I love, reading, music, work, cycling and my family was dealing with a huge emotional adjustment. I stayed away from the pub scene and even my party friends. Spent a lot of time by myself.

In walks a man. I ignore him. I tell him to skattle on his way. Not interested. Three times. He was slightly OCD. I was getting mad.

He got me to agree on a coffee date merely because I was so annoyed. Sitting there with my armor on listening to him ramble on I discovered the kindest, honest, loyal person I had ever met. He's always treated me like I was the most valuable thing in his life. He's my best friend and I his. We've had some tough times, sick child, job loss, cancer, but always pulled through. We have two grown sons and have been happily married for almost 27 years.

Many times I've doubted if we would have found each other if I was actively looking. Sometimes you have to change the scenery if you want a different animal to wander into the territory. Maybe subconsciously I WAS looking? Who knows but perhaps our own expectations are what trips us up.

There was no internet dating at the time but if there was, I probably would have been too introverted and paranoid to try it Good luck OP!

MichaelPMaccabee
I met the love of my life on the internet 12 years ago.

Not a dating site, a gaming website.

Of course, she was engaged to another, and I professed my love... and she married him.

Fast forward 6 years, we're both single and I finally convince her to take a chance.

Our son, Sagan, celebrated his first birthday in June.




Keep trying, man. There are people out there that are perfect for you. If the internet has taught me anything it's that no matter how weird or quirky or normal or conservative or liberal you are, there is someone out there that is looking for exactly what you have to offer.

Did you ever get your lip balm?