Drunk and lonely need advice from you lovely folk.

Ok many know me here and may know a bit about my past but for those who don't I have been married 3 times twice a battered husband and the last one just lied and took everything and I vowed not to bother again but in times like this (a wee bit drunk) I miss the company of a partner, so I have decided to try and date again.
I have women at work asking me out but they are too young (Iam 39) and I remember what 20 years olds were like when I was that age and I don't think I can go through all that again.
My pals all say go on a online dating site but for some reason It just screams desperate to me, so any advice? should I try a online dating site? or go back to the bars and clubs where I met all my other partners?
Drunk btw and I will regret this tmr

reply to post by boymonkey74


HAHAHA
A good word of advice is don't thread drunk....been there as well my friend.

reply to post by DrumsRfun


ah sometimes you just have too
Any advice or just loling at me?

i have had many a relationship struggle and been through violence tried dating sites and to be honest never went through with meeting anyone . if you have friend go to the pub and go socializing even if you don't pull you will not realize you are lonely as your having a blast with your friends and love one day will just find you stop trying so hard always works for me

boymonkey74
reply to post by DrumsRfun

 

ah sometimes you just have too

Any advice or just loling at me?

personally at our age (im also 39) i think you would be better off finding ways to resolve those needs for yourself, dont go seeking it in those places. you are looking for something more.

take your time, go out with some of the young chicks, go out with some old chicks.
you are looking for something real and i dont think that is in a pub anywhere?

also bear in mind, the greatest genius' and artists throughout all of history produced their best work when single and anguished, and many produced nothing at all while in relationships!

reply to post by boymonkey74


Posting drunk is the ONLY way IMO.

Try the online dating sites.

Going back to the bars and expecting a different outcome - I believe by definition, that is crazy.

Ever hear that old saying, "When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade?" Well - that is 100% horse#. Need to find out why you keep getting the lemons to fix the problem. The online site might be a good refreshing start.

reply to post by leopardpimps


Thats the problem though Iam fine when sober but after the pub I get all down and lonely
Another problem is the last date I had she was disgusted about what I did for a living and when she learnt how much I was on she didn't want to know so I left calling her an elitist bitch lol.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Well first off I wouldn't worry too much about numerical age difference. If you meet a nice girl and you both hit it off it won't matter. I'm 23 years older than my wife and we couldn't be happier.

What do you do for a living btw?

reply to post by boymonkey74


well let me make you the first to reveal some personal news to you

After splitting up from the mother of my son when he was just 18 months due to her abusive behaviour (i was more or less conned for sperm and a house), i got back on the horse so to speak.

I went online dating in the end, just looking for fun and openly so.

Met a girl, we had a lot of fun, gradually realised we had a way deeper bond forming, and cut a long story short we have been together some four years. Getting married in May.

And i'm not even crapping my pants over it, which is mental

ETA: so yar, have a crack at the online thing!

online dating really sucks in my opinion its like your been an idealist and there is no such thing as the ideal woman if the var is a bad idea take up a hobby to kill sometime maybe you will find friends if not love their try new things if your looking for a new kinda woman

reply to post by boymonkey74


As a single woman of four and a half years, I gotta tell ya....it's hell!

Think the best advice I can give is understand this moment you're having right now will pass....certainly by the time the hangover kicks in, you will regain your strength.

Thing is, the next woman you meet, you want for keeps, I agree trawling the internet is not a good plan, sure it works for some, but I hold the belief that when you meet the right one, there is this moment and it all clicks.

Until that time, wallow, indulge, have a quickie (plenty of sites for that), but remember that loneliness comes and goes.

Use this single down time to learn about yourself, enjoy your own company, so when the moment happens, your relationship will be all the more fulfilling, because you found yourself and are comfortable in your own company.

Sorry, that's all I got.

Kepp on swinging!

reply to post by seeker1963


Picking the wrong women who want to duff me up for being 20 mins late for tea lol, thats where I went wrong

Try Meet-Ups; if you're in any size city at all, there will be loads of different interest groups to join, whether for bicycling, bowling, political views, any kind of hobby or interest you can think of. Then go and have fun!

Personally I'd stay out of bars because I'm not a drinker and I feel that only people with drinking problems hang out in bars, but YMMV on that one...

Sorry to hear about your misfortunes.

Back in the day, while separated on the verge of divorce, let's just say the dating sites were successful for culling the loneliness.

You can try them and it can be fun, but don't be rushing into things mate,you have friends here and there to pull you through the darkness.

Your time will come so in the mean time I'm gonna bitch slap you and buy you a beer.

Peace,
K

reply to post by boymonkey74


yeh sod that you dont want a chic like that i get lonely when drunk so stopped getting drunk for a while and joined the gym made me happy and confident you need to achieve been happy by yourself before you can be happy with others

reply to post by wtbengineer


At the time of that date I looked after old folk, and now I look after people with learning disabilities
Not well payed and I have to wipe bums


Oh cheers all so far

reply to post by boymonkey74


Do what works for ya brother... And get the "online dating is desperate" mentality out of your brain...

That's the way things work these days man...

At Bars and clubs you end up with drunk people... and you might wake up with something bad beside you...

but again, if that's worked for you in the past... do it up!

Though at 39 I haven't got the slightest idea what kind of club you might go to... Most of them are filled to the brim with kiddys

IF you're lonely... find something to play with...

boymonkey74
reply to post by seeker1963

 

Picking the wrong women who want to duff me up for being 20 mins late for tea lol, thats where I went wrong

i have same problem as you picked two men like that dusted my self off and just getting there now

reply to post by Akragon


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