posted on May, 20 2013 @ 12:05 AM
Okay, I'm not one to start threads here. And now that I'm typing, I feel sort of stupid doing so, but I've seen threads ranting about all sorts of
personal issues or asking for advice on personal-related stuff, so here goes:
I guess I'm a bad neighbor.
I work a heck of a lot of hours and commute a good distance to/from work to my corporate job (I manage a team)...like 10, 12, 14 hours a day. I work
at home on my laptop some eves or weekends (try not to as much as before). I have chronic fatigue, asthma acts up, I have some other health issues. My
sweetheart died years and years ago, and I currently am not dating anyone let alone live with anyone.
I am quiet. I love to read, sit on my deck, write. Never have parties, barbecues, noise. No Harleys pulling in. No throbbing music. No light pollution
from floodlights in the yard. No dog, no outdoor animals. No beater cars up on blocks. I didn't paint my house a loud color. I don't have signs in
the yard, or have a storage bin out front. I don't argue with neighbors, don't bother anyone. Take my garbage out the morning the trucks are coming
(so the raccoons don't tear things apart overnight). Kinda keep to myself, am polite. I'm not even home that much. Don't gossip about my
But my neighbors on either side of me (and probably across from me) on my suburban sidestreet hate me. Hated me since I moved in about 8 years back
with my indoor cat, and son. They hate me because they hate me.
They are retired and strongly love perfect yards. I do not have a perfect yard. In fact, I have the ugliest yard on the street. I don't spray my
dandelions and let all my leaves fall down before I try to rake them up and hall them away. I do pay a company to cut the lawn each week and do a bit
of weedcutting, as I am too fatigued these days to do it myself after work. I do try to keep the small shrubs trimmed a bit and tidy. I pick up any
trash that comes into the yard.
For years, I've been verbally abused and verbally attacked by my neighbors. I'm so surprised when it happens, because I never expect it -- and I
should by now. I try to stand my ground, but they are true, loud-mouthed bullies and think they own the street and have the right to yell at anyone at
anytime. The past 18 months, I've decided to not talk with them, and if they say hi, I say hi or nod and do a half smile, and continue on. I think
that is pretty nice of me, after being verbally attacked about my yard.
Today, the lady of the home next door yelled at me to spray my weeds. I was sitting in my backyard, quietly working on my laptop (on a Sunday),
minding my own business, when she starts screaming at me. I asked her to please stop talking to me. She ignored me. Wished she could "relax" outside
like I was doing, but no, she had to work on her weeds since I was letting my yard go to hell.
Her husband is the worst. He's very violently angry. He's actually scary and seemingly unstable. He once threatened my son when I was out on my deck
and my son was cutting the grass, because my son told him to mind his own business after the guy yelled at my son about the top of his boxers showing.
He has screamed at me for accidentally blowing a few leaves in his yard as I was cutting my lawn at our property line, which is a steep incline and I
was trying not to flip the lawnmower with me on it.
The other neighbor is almost as bad. She has criticized everything I do or don't do in my yard. Even mocked my haircolor -- seemingly in a normal
Are people allowed to just yell at you in your own yard and harass you? Is there some ordinance that says I have to spray my dandelions or rake my
leaves on a prescribed timetable? I know lovely yards are important to them, and they have every right to be not happy with me as their neighbor, but
I don't believe they should be able to bully me.
When I moved in, I bent over backwards trying to keep the peace with them, but they were mean-spirited anyways. I gave up. I don't say anything to
them first. I never step foot on their property or cause them any harm. I tried not to look at them, but they stand there (or sit there on their lawn
chairs out front) and STARE at me as I pull in/out of my driveway, walk in my yard, or take a walk down the sidewalk. Stare at my parents, my friends
who pick me up or drop me off, stare at the guys who cut my lawn. STARE with hatred and no attempt to hide the fact that they are staring. It's
unnerving. Been like that since day one.
And despite their treatment and disdain for me, if any of them were injured outside or had a heart attack or something, I'd be right there to help.
But I know they wouldn't do the same for me.
How can we have world peace when there's people who are so angry about dandelions? Sometimes I just want to go "home" where there is some sanity
and love. Any advice as to how to manage this situation, protect myself and have a little peace in my own yard?