My Son

reply to post by smyleegrl


Oh dear, I feel for you as I've had a similar situation with my oldest son. And, I have been an education professional too--so I understand where you are coming from to the best degree I think possible.

My son has been through so many medical tests and "experts" over the years, we literally have a whole hard-copy file drawer devoted to just that. I was not satisfied with what the MD's and Psychologists had to say--too many guesses & contradictions, I suppose.

What you haven't mentioned, or I have missed it, is what types of Physical activity or other Social activity outside the home he is currently engaged in?

We had our son playing soccer in a mini-league once he was eligible at age 4. This helped some, but he is truly high, high energy, and so we made sure that he has a physical activity everyday (organized). He has played basketball, and went swimming everyday for the winter season. He has signs of ADHD and maybe Asperger's at times, but 1 try with the Stimulants for ADHD, and he ended up in the ER, and a Pediatric Cardiologist...apparently his body doesn't tolerate that medicine. Talk about a very scared Mom.

Anyhow, the organized activities have helped greatly-- He made honor roll the past 2 grading periods (with teacher biases, lol).

I think you sound like a truly good mommy, so I think with your love & support he will be just fine!

Please keep us updated, or PM me if you want to talk further with a mom that has been through heck & back.

Has he already tested negative for autism?

You don't ever want to jump to conclusions but flying in to rages, sensitivity to loud noises and other stimuli, and even his proclivity toward solving math problems mentally may tie together.



But no matter where the issues lie, he has a loving, caring mother who sounds like she would do anything for him and hates to see her baby suffer. My fiance is an elementary school teacher and is teaching in a very poor community. Many of those students have similar (and much worse) problems and don't have the warmth and love to return home to at the end of the day.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I would seriously consider a diet change also. There is a lot of data on how moving away from a chemical and cooked food diet can help reduce some of the symptoms you describe. It's not always easy, but I suggest you look into the 'raw food diet'. Plenty of free videos on netflix such as "fat, sick and nearly dead" for example.

The theory is that the more cooked food and processed food in our diets contributes to a whole host of dis-ease and suffering. Look into 'green smoothies', for example, which is nothing but a base of organic juice and greens (spinach, kale, chard). Look into chlorella and spirulina (algae) supplements. Take a look at incorporating coconut oil into the diet. Add sprouted seeds, nuts, and grains into the diet. Stop putting chemicals in and on your body (toothpaste, shampoo, even toilet paper products that have chemicals, laundry detergents). Reduce the toxic load.

Does your son have any silver "mercury" fillings? Look into the problems caused (for some) by having these poisons in the mouth, leaching bad things into the body.

Look into iodine supplements, MSM, Magnesium Chloride (spray).

For God's sake, stop using refined sugar, salt, ay products with trans fats, High Fructose Corn Syrup, or anything labeled with MSG (or variants), and anything with 'natural and/or artificial flavorings'. If a product has more than a few igredients, be suspicious. Stop microwaving anything. Avoid restaurants that reheat with microwaves. Never eat FAST FOOD again. Use honey, or stevia, or dates, or something closer to nature that our bodies were designed to function with.

So many have improved their lives with even a slight tilt toward this direction.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Pirates are often angry at society and misunderstood by land lubbers! People do things in a rush and do not enjoy the salty sea air! Land Lumbers like noise Noise NOISE! They never stop to listen to the ocean...This in turn makes a pirate frustrated! Pirates love to be creative and most people don't know this, less time sitting more time doing, they tend to have a lot of energy, and let the Sea set the pace! Finding a good Pirate activity can be a task to the Captain but is well worth it to their first mate when they do! Pirates don't like land lubber food and need lots of veggies and fruits to keep from getting scurvy!

So you know Pirates only need to be as tall as to see over the ships wheel the rest is a myth created by annoying tall people! I would offer this Pirate a sword or a hook but seeing how he has the strength to throw furniture it might not be beneficial. So I would just suggest talk like a pirate day saying Arrrrrg a lot! Having a pirate realize that wearing an eye patch is just part of pirate training and that all pirates can learn to control themselves and their anger eventually they will see that there is Treasure everywhere!

P.S. if a pirate will let you they really enjoy lots of hugs and having stories read to them like Treasure Island...

What you haven't mentioned, or I have missed it, is what types of Physical activity or other Social activity outside the home he is currently engaged in?

reply to post by watchesfromwall


As terrible as this sounds, he is involved in nothing.

We've tried, soccer, football, swimming, you name it. He's just not interested and says its boring. I actually think he's scared more than anything. We've played with him, showing him how to kick a soccer ball, how to play outside games, etc. But he says he doesn't like it and its boring.

He likes to go hiking, so we do that as often as possible. He will sometimes ride his bike on our cul-de-sac when the two girls from next door are outside playing. But he doesn't play very well with them, maybe because they always want him to be the "baby" while they play house. He doesn't like that too much. But he will play with them.

When we take him to the park, he will eagerly play with anyone else who happens to be there. When we visit with his cousins, who are about the same age, they play and get along great. At school he has a few friends, but is still somewhat of a loner.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Thanks everyone for the kind words.

I've considered autism, he does have some of the characteristics. But he also lacks a lot of the major criteria....for example, he loves to snuggle, hug, be loved on, etc. He also will look people in the eye and can understand and empathize with others...

If he has autism, he's obviously very high functioning.

His imagination is incredible, he loves telling stories and they are usually elaborate. We encourage this as much as possible. Plus a lot of what he says is Hilarious.

I just hate seeing him hurt like this.

Thanks again, my friends.

You just described most of my son's symptoms at that age. He would become very agitated, sometimes violent, at times, but loved to be held, snuggle in blankets and all the rest. He was diagnosed with Asperger's. For a long, long time we fought the idea on any meds, knowing the side effects. Finally, after many discussions with our Dr, we went with Strattera. We saw a huge change in behavior in a fairly short time. It did not "drug him down" so to speak, he was the same active, sweet little boy, just with much better control. His problem was processing all the information that was coming at him. Now, at 15, he's a straight A student, does all the things the other boys do, football, airsoft wars, gaming, etc, just a normal kid. He's been off the meds for several years, but they made a big difference when he needed them. I don't want to blather on about this drug, but for us it was like a miracle. I hope your little one gets all the help he needs. We can tell he gets the love.

reply to post by smyleegrl

Oh Smyleegrl, so sorry to read about this. I wish your family the best of luck as you work through it and I have no doubt you all will come through it better than ever!

Reading what you have posted; has your endocrinologist mentioned anything about endocrine disruption theory? It is a highly controversially theory (IMO because it deals with the crap chemicals being pumped out by big industry), but it fits much of what you have posted.

Also double check and make sure the endo has ran a full thyroid panel on your son. Not just TSH, but also T3, T4, and most importantly a thyroid antibody test. Over years of thyroid/endocrine problems I have learned that sometimes those TSH tests can be deceptive and not tell the whole story on what might be wrong.

Hugs and positive thoughts to you and your family!

reply to post by smyleegrl


Hey! Sorry to hear of this and you seem very strong in all this.
My son rages, but only around me.

My son doesn't like sports either. We are signing him up for art classes this year, we found a place that is cheap.

Would your son maybe be interested in that? Or science stuff? Just throwing suggestions out.

I will keep you in my prayers.
Hope everything works out for the best!
Peace and love
-nat the mangle cat-

Dang! Really sorry to hear that. Parenting is very tough and we've had our issues with our 5 year old. He's growing and we've learned techniques to help identify personality. It appears your's is probably much worse than that. Good luck and hang in there. If you need to vent just come on here and write a thread.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Smyleegrl it sounds like you are describing my son except for the lazy eye. My son is small for his age as well.
About 3 years ago he was in constant trouble in school fights suspensions bad report cards etc...

I was extremely concerned, so this is what I did I put my son in Judo it solved everything better grades, more confidence less temper outbursts doing well in all areas in school.

My son also has a high level of math skills for his age doing 3 digit math problems in his head. when he first demonstrated this ability I was amazed. He is only in grade 3!

Martial arts may not be your sons thing some type of extra curricular activity would work I am sure.My son also has ADD. Hope this helps. Take care enament.

Dont bother with psychiatrists... go to a pediatric neurologist. We had similar issues with my oldest.. sensory stuff and processing issues that caused frustration/tantrums. Working with a neurologist and other specialists.. now she is in college, successful, and will be a highly functioning adult. She WAS diagnosed with Aspergers/Autism... but that isnt a death sentence as far as academics and future anymore.
Ive read your stuff, youre not a moron... go to a GOOD pediatric neurologist and find out if there are actual functional problems concerning the sensory issues... which definitely lead to other problems if left unaddressed.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Someone had mentioned diet. This too could be important. I've heard and read that gluten free diets have often helped children that have tendencies similar to what you've described. And as always, vitamins to supplement his diet. You can never go wrong with Flinstones vitamins. Their good for adults too! (2x daily of course)

Physical activities are also important. My son too is very high energy and he was diagnosed with autism a few years back. Unfortunately "mom" chooses to go with the Dr. instead of what I suggest and with him being with her more than me it's quite difficult to make any progress. Anywho, I digress, Martial Arts would be an excellent extra curricular activity for your son. He's at the right age to begin and the Arts will help him focus, maintain self control, give him a sense of belonging with others and he'll be able to exert some of that pent up energy.

Best of luck to you. Keep your head up and don't look too deep into this. Everything will work out for the best.

We all grow differently...

Give him time. Keep nurturing him and he will thrive.

Although some very valid medical points have been raised.

Tread carefully and best of luck...

I could wax lyrical ya da ya da ya da

But to be honest

With a mum like you

Your boy can't fail

It's a simple truth.

Cody

For those of you suggesting martial arts.....

True story. Last year we decided to enroll him in martial arts for all the typical reasons. Since we live in a very small town, there is only one martial arts studio within easy driving distance, and they won't enroll until age 7.

So I went online and did a google search for martial arts academies in a nearby city (Martinsville, VA). It would be an hour's drive, but we were willing.

The academy sounded perfect and they were enrolling five year olds. We were invited to bring our son to the school for a free trial session to see if he would like it. So, as soon as the school bell rang, we piled in the car and headed towards Martinsville.

Now, I am extremely directionally challenged. I get lost in grocery stores, I kid you not. So of course I programmed the address into the GPS and off we went.

We arrived at the spot, according to the GPS....only it was a vacant parking lot. Confused, I called the academy and asked for directions.

For the next twenty minutes the secretary and I exchanged phone calls while I followed her directions. I never found the academy.

At last, frustrated and twenty minutes late, I said we'd come the following week.

That's when the secretary hesitantly asked what state I was in. I told her Virginia.

That's when she told me the academy was located in Martinsville, INDIANA.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Dang! lol. General calisthenics are good too. Something where he's releasing energy in a positive manner.
And what Cody said.

Give that kid lots of love and patience. One day, when he's older and better able to cope with his physical weaknesses, he'll know and remember all the times you were there for him. Emphasize and promote the activities he can do and that he is good at; be sure to keep trying new things.

There is at least one thing he will be good at and will enjoy. Find it, and he will have an outlet for his frustrations as well as a source of pleasure for years to come.

One thing you should never do - and never allow him to do - is to feel sorry for his predicament. That can only hurt him. There are tough situations in life, some tougher than others. (I'm sure you know that but I thought it needed to be mentioned.)

You sound like a loving, caring, and thoughtful mom. Many boys don't have such a wonderful parent. Your boy is blessed, and I'm sure he will grow into a wonderful man with you by his side guiding him!

reply to post by kimish


He loves the Nintendo Wii and is very active.

Hopefully when he turns seven (in June) we can enroll him in the martial arts in town. I know where it is, lol.

reply to post by smyleegrl


As I stated about my son, he is high energy as well and calisthenics work. He has an Angry Birds bean bag toss game and what we do is anytime one of us misses we do 5 pushups. The next time it is 5 sit ups. He loves it! You could also in cooperate jumping jacks and mountain climbers. The key is to make it fun.

Don't let them make you think your son needs some kind of medication. When go to the doc they'll tell you he does. Chances are they will try to get him on a stimulant.

God created him and knew him before you did and don't let anyone destroy this.

He does just need love and I wish you the very best.

The only thing I would accept is if they gave him some help with his visual/audio processing. I'm not sure his hearing status but this is correctable without psychotropic medications.

Best wishes.