My Son

He loves the Nintendo Wii and is very active.

reply to post by smyleegrl


If he has sensory issues, I wonder if the gaming may make his outbursts worse. Even when their done playing games their brain is still very active for some time after. It makes for a great over load experience.

My boyfriends 9 year old has stemming issues. He gets real bad after gaming. If it were left up to me he would not have any gaming systems.... at all. I see no good in them....

Yesterday the weather was nice here in TN. I make my kids go outside ALL the time. If I don't they will remain inside gaming, on their Ipad, or doing nothing productive with their brain.... nothing creative and we are not built to sit around looking at and interacting with a screen all day.

When your son comes home from school, what is his routine? If he doesn't have one.... come up with one and stick with it.

Also, any parenting really should be consistent. Kids want to know boundaries and what to expect.

I may be reaching here... but just trying to help or offer suggestions you may try to see if they make for a better change regarding your family and his behavior.

reply to post by smyleegrl
My son was similar at that age. Loved hugs, was affectionate laughed out loud at Tom & Jerry show's. His speech was delayed and I held him back from school for a year until it developed. His speech therapist arranged for a panel which consisted of a paediatrician, occ health therapist, speech therapist to observe him (at no cost). They came up with "atypical autism" in which he only fits some of the 5 cryteria to diagnose Autism. He is now 10 and thriving. He will have his moments after school (he's an angel at school) where he comes home and yells and screams for a while to get it all out or I tell him to shut up just as loud (he laughs). Anyway, he's beautiful, empathetic, cheeky, naughty, loves playing with or in water, has a limited but healthy diet (it's hard to get him to try new things). My suggestion would be to have very specific routines as the rages could be coming from any change to routine. I hope the doctors come up with something for you soon. Ariel.

I read the first page of responses and as usual in threads like this they are very supportive, healing responses. Props to ATS members with the right stuff, empathy and compassion and insight.

I just wanted to jump in with a couple of things to say to the OP. My own background is in meditation when it comes to issues like the ones your son has. It is going to sound odd but I want to suggest to you that you consider approaching this issue partly from the physical perspective and start giving your son foot massages and hand massages and including tickling in your physical play with him. You will be the judge of how much of each to do in any given situation and obviously his moods will be a factor in that.

The theory is that the hands and the feet are like "the other end" of huge amounts of neural pathways in the brain. Stimulating them in the manner of massage might lead to either opening unused neural pathways or to balancing the energy flow and taking the load off pathways that have become ruts.

I would suggest ritualizing the massages to some extent, using baby oil and making them a non-casual thing, something that he will give his attention to.

As he gets older, it might be profitable to lead him toward involvement in Tai Chi or Yoga. Good luck.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing with all of us. I hope things get better soon. *Hugs*

reply to post by smyleegrl


Blessings to you - you are obviously a terrific mom. It is terrifying to see your child struggle and to not know what is wrong or how to help them! I've been there myself and I know that pain. I hope and pray you find the answers you need to do the absolute best for your son. Love opens doors, lends patience, overcomes obstacles and holds fast through any storm. You are a strong woman - I've seen many of your posts - and I'm betting you have more than enough love to see your family through whatever may be ahead.

peace,
AB

Originally posted by smyleegrl

What you haven't mentioned, or I have missed it, is what types of Physical activity or other Social activity outside the home he is currently engaged in?

reply to post by watchesfromwall

 

As terrible as this sounds, he is involved in nothing.

We've tried, soccer, football, swimming, you name it. He's just not interested and says its boring. I actually think he's scared more than anything. We've played with him, showing him how to kick a soccer ball, how to play outside games, etc. But he says he doesn't like it and its boring.

He likes to go hiking, so we do that as often as possible. He will sometimes ride his bike on our cul-de-sac when the two girls from next door are outside playing. But he doesn't play very well with them, maybe because they always want him to be the "baby" while they play house. He doesn't like that too much. But he will play with them.

When we take him to the park, he will eagerly play with anyone else who happens to be there. When we visit with his cousins, who are about the same age, they play and get along great. At school he has a few friends, but is still somewhat of a loner.

I wasn't too hot on soccer on my school, just like many of the bright kids. Mainly because what really happened was that the bossy kids who could do all the fancy dribbling took the striker positions, and spent most of the time kicking the ball to each other. Everyone else who really didn't want to be there took the goalkeeper and defender positions. Only the team captain was allowed to do the interesting bit which was the trying-to-kick-the-ball-into-the-goal bit. So it was more like cricket. The team captain got the bowling bit, the second-in-command got the batter position, and everyone else were fielders. This seemed to happen in just about every group based school activity. Whenever we worked in teams, the tasks assigned were more related to your social ranking than abilities.

That would explain why he is happy hiking, playing with his cousins or neighbors - there isn't any social ladder to put him at the bottom rung.

reply to post by smyleegrl


My heart aches for you, Smylee.

Just my opinion here: I didn't hear you mention that he was intellectually challenged. Therefore, what I'm thinking is his rage could now be from him thinking that he's not like the other kids; the kids he would call normal. At age 7 he is probably aware enough to think "Why me!"

His frustration with himself must be indescribable. Somehow (and I have NO idea how) you have to make him all right in his eyes.

Again, just my opinion.

The Lord will never give you more than you CAN lift, but it might be more than you think you can.

Hello All,

Thanks again for all the wonderful replies, suggestions, and well-wishes. You've all helped me regain some much needed inner strength and helped calm my mental storm. A thousand thank yous to all.

So I wanted to share what happened today during the town's Easter egg hunt, because it sums up my son perfectly.

Imagine it....a huge field, 9,000 eggs, and approx 300+ kids. The whistle blows and it's chaos. My son finds six eggs, he was so methodical in his search and refused to run with everyone else. Anyway, inside one of the eggs is a lollipop, his favorite candy in the world.

He wants the lollipop, of course. But we're on our way to eat lunch, so I tell him he can have it after lunch. He grudgingly acquiesced.

We pull into the restaurant and my son wants to bring in the lollipop. I told him it would be fine in the car.

"What if bad guys take it?" He asks.

" why would bad guys want a lollipop?" My husband replies.

"Maybe the bad guys have invented a machine that uses lollipops as a fuel source! Then they'd want my lollipop, for sure! 'Cause everyone knows there's a limited supply of lollipops, you know?"

That's my son.

reply to post by Arielmoon

Sounds like my own son, Arielmoon.
"Diagnosed" Atypical at 3.
Patience, as you know, is the most important thing.
We try to give ours power to decide as much as possible and go with his lead when possible.
I taught him computer at 5 or 6, as he was starting to get restless and frustrated.
Now, at 9, he can read better than most adults and builds his own super mario levels, writes stories and poems,etc. All of his intrests are appropriate, thank goodness.He also loves Tom and Jerry.
He looks up wikipedia and reads the wiki article on each episode that he liked.
He's the happiest and most pleasant kid I have ever met. (I would say that, of course)

reply to post by smyleegrl

Hi smyleegrl,

Your son sounds like a little pirate genius!

I searched for "Lolipop engine" and got this:



My son's favorite lolipop!

Does your son like the PC?

Have you heard of "Phun", now Algadoo (link) ?

My son loves it, and he has learnt so much, building cars and machine with it. A lolipop is an easy design to start with. You can download it for free and try the full version for 15 hours of gameplay, which lasts about 2 weeks easily to see if he likes it.

It's a 2d physics sandbox where he could build a Lolipop engine!





No-one has ever had the idea for a Lolipop Motor, so he may make you a rich woman yet!

I did find this song, though and had to share it.

And they always need Engineers in Lolipop Factories!



Thanks for the story

reply to post by Theflyingweldsman


That's awesome! Thanks so much for the link, we will be downloading it this afternoon! He's going to love it!

I wish I could give you more than just a star.

reply to post by smyleegrl

No problem, smyleegrl. A pleasant reply is worth more than a million stars.

You'll have to sit with him at the start to get the basics, after that, just help him when he gets stuck.

Its click and choose and dropdown menus, but it doesn't take long to get the basics and it will help his reading because every word means and does something.

Good Luck, Happy Easter and have fun with it. We sure did.

I have a lazy eye -- my right eye doesn't see as well as my left so my left does the whole job. My eyes still move the same, but I'm worried my right's going to stop. Tell your son to do a lot of eye exercises, they help tremendously. This is what I hate about doctors. They just dish out glasses and crap without telling you to do exercises. My cousin was given glasses for an eye which was nearly perfect vision, but because glasses are a crutch, her eyes got worse. Had they given her exercises to do, they'd have got better.

And I used to know a boy aged 7 when I was about 11 or 12, everyone thought he was 3 or 4 because he was so freaking small. Now he's older and he's grown into normal size So don't worry. When you worry your son worries, so look happy

Everything will be okay. I used to have these rages so much. When I was his age I would throw around my dolls and step on them, I would literally kill them. I was just...aggressive. Now I'm normal, thank God D Still a bit outspoken but oh well haha. Try signing him up to a martial arts class or something, they're really good for anger.