reply to post by r2d246
Spare the rod n spoil the child, so they turned out spoiled and now he wants to blame them, get real. He should blame himself. He obvious has
no balls as he wasn't willing to beat them and now wants to whine about the results of his impotence to them and blame them for it.
Are you being sarcastic? Or are you promoting child beatings?
Just curious. Goes to "character".
If this man's adult kids are talking to their mom about their troubles, they are not talking to HIM about their troubles, and he is hearing their
troubles THROUGH their mother. No doubt she is venting just as much as his dinner-party pals are exaggerating.
As a submariner he was gone for months at a time: absent father.
As a boarding-school student AND parent, he allowed others to instill their values into the kids: absent father.
Their mother is at least willing to listen to them, where he has effectively washed his hands of it: absent father.
Did he expect them, simply by "osmosis," to understand the whys and wherefores of his own "absenteeism" - if he did nothing but throw money at
them and farm them out to others (his wife while he was at sea, the school where he sent them to "live") while he was away, how could he expect them
to have internalized his own expectations and world-view?
Life IS very different now than it was in his generation. I was born in 1958. When it was time to start earning money, I babysat, and had a
newspaper route. When I was legally old enough to be "hired" by an employer, all that it took was walking into a business that was still under
construction and had a "Now Hiring" sign out front. You walk in, fill out an application, talk with the guy for a few minutes, and he said,
"You're hired." If no new businesses were in town and hiring at the moment, you walked up and down the main business street, into storefronts and
asked, "Are you looking for anyone to help out in the store?"
In those days, and in the 80s as well, hiring workers and finding a job was MUCH simpler, more personal, and straightforward.
"We need another person."
"My friend is looking."
"Send them in."
Next day, the friend had a job.
Now, a person is lucky just to have their cover letter scanned for keywords, let alone have their resume carefully considered! It all has to be
"online" (except for the really small mom and pop shops). Parents of now-grown children need to realize HOW MUCH different life is than it was 25
or 35 years ago.
If adult children are alienated from their parents, it is because the parents are NOT supportive. Beating your children does NOT do any good at all.
This family sounds like a mess to me.