The Truth About Rape

reply to post by LeSigh

This happened to me when I was younger. I didn't initiate it, I didn't want it, but I froze up. He even blamed me immediately after for not vocalizing the word 'no'. I didn't say anything, but he could tell I didn't want any part of it, and he knew I was upset anyway. I felt so violated, yet I blamed myself too.

Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry you went through something like this. If you ever need to talk, just send me a message. I'll listen to you vent anytime.

Now, for the positive spin. You shared a horrific story that may be read by many people. Perhaps someone reading it will be more careful or understanding in the future. You never know the impact your story might have on another. So bravo to you

reply to post by smyleegrl

Myth 1: Rape is sex.

Have to disagree with you. For milenia men have been raping female captives in many cultures for sexual pleasure, with procreation as the main end to the activity. Not more so than in the Islamic cultures, where this was pretty much what captive women were for.

I'd also have to say from an evolutionary psychology POV, rape has a procreative function for the male, and this can been seen in the generally age range of female rape vitcims, that cluster in the teens and early twenties. 80% are under 30.

And (this will upset some people) rape has a survival aspect for females. Genocide is a fact of human evolution and history. Young females sometimes survive this by ending up as sex slaves/war wives to produce children for the dominant males who wiped out their people. The fact they can be forced to procreate keeps them alive. If there were NO survival aspect to rape for females they'd have evolved an internal mechanism to prevent conception (a spasm clamping shut the cervix to keep sperm out of the uterus in the event of trauma would be one way).

I'd like to add that you see forced mating in a whole range of other species. I'm sure that in these circumstances the purpose is reproductive. We are just animals. I'm sure a lot of psychos do it for power and control, but you shouldn't ignore that it's part of sexual behaviour in many other creatures.

So far I've seen footage of forced sex between chimps, stoats, ducks and dingos. Dolphins also are suspected.

Rape in Nonhuman Animal Species
www.jstor.org...

There are sexual differences that are based in biology,” Camille Paglia, an outspoken critic of gender feminism, writes in Sex, Art, and American Culture (p. 50). “Academic feminism,” Paglia continues, “is lost in a fog of social constructionism. It believes we are totally the product of our environment.” Of academic feminists, Paglia says (ibid., p. 51): “[Their] view of sex is naive. . . . [They] have drilled their disciples to say, ‘Rape is a crime of violence but not of sex.’ This . . . nonsense has exposed young women to disaster.” Wendy McElroy’s book Sexual Correctness

There has also been some work talking to rapists, and sexual pleasure comes up again and again as a motive.

The claim that rape has nothing to do with sex is a product of social theory and old school feminism that saw rape as a method of terrorising women. It rarely asked the men why they did it, and tended to dismiss 'for sex' when they did got it as an answer.

reply to post by Heresy


thank you heresy... said it better then I did on page 1 and 2 lol

reply to post by Heresy


You are dead wrong!!! As a survivor myself of brutal rape, I can tell you this has nothing at all to do with sex!
Rape is about violence pure and simple!! It is about terrorizing the victim, humiliating them and making them feel
powerless! Sex indicates pleasure of some sort as in physical pleasure. There is no sex involved in rape.

You are missing one major point with your argument. We are not animals, we are humans and that sets us a part. You do not see in any specie, the male beating the crap out of the female to overpower her. You do not see animals drugging their prey. Do not compare animals to humans in this instance, it makes you look ridiculous.

Rape is also a hate crime. It is violating someones security at the deepest level. As far as your misguided evolutionary theory goes, it doesn't hold up. As humans we are given a conscience and a mind to reason right from wrong, from a moral standpoint. Animals do not have this same ability.

Call it what it is, A VIOLENT CRIME!!!

False accusations of rape are incredibly common, and if you have consensual sex with a woman and she. Ries rape, then wtf? What do you do then? How do you win? I [had sex with] a psycho once and she insisted i raped her. never went to the cops but said she would.....

Its incredibly common.

Originally posted by Sinny
Bravo!

That is all.

What she said. Rape is messed up. Think about it - in addition to other things, it brings along with it the possibility of contracting diseases, and I recently saw a hospital bill on the net for over $4,000 for rape treatment.

reply to post by paxnatus


It's a violent crime toward the victim, but a sexual act for the offender. Just because the victim sees it a certain way does not make it so.

I'll say what I haven't seen written here yet. Rough sex is fun, exciting and arousing. I'll admit I love it with my girlfriend, but it's always consensual. I think that a lot of rapes may stem from this excitement, they just can't control their urge to do it where as most males can.

A few years ago, my fiancee at the time claimed she was raped by a co-worker who came over for a visit while I was out of town working. I urged her to call the police and report it, but she was strangely reluctant. I investigated further, and found from her friends that she had thrown a party and slept with no less than 4 guys that night. I promptly dumped her, but girls like her really make things hard for real rape victims. Hard to tell sometimes what the real deal is sometimes unfortunately.

Originally posted by MikhailBakunin
reply to post by jiggerj

 

let me get this straight... Sandusky didn't have a fetish for little boys? he just needed a certain avenue to vent his anger for his football team's latest loss? And he just so happened to feel like a sailor in a shower with little boy?

you might be able to sell a refrigerator to an eskimo... but today... I'm not your eskimo...

there's more to it then it's just some random tool of destruction... Sandusky had a fetish for those little boys... he liked'em young and fresh...

edit on 20-8-2012 by MikhailBakunin because: game.point.match

edit on 20-8-2012 by MikhailBakunin because: Added a little "sailor in a shower" metaphor for emphasis

I stared at this response for a good ten minutes. Ya got me. There must be a sexual preference involved, which means rape in this case does have something to do with sex. Good call.

Rape is a sex crime & is disgusting no doubt which leaves victims with life scares & life issues to deal with later on. Some do it to humiliate their victims an act to make ones self feel all powerful, they get a kick by humiliating their victims. They lack something in them so they have this urge to act it on to their victims "it gives them a physiological boost" which they lack in real life.

Similar to what a hunter does with their prey, its a game for most not just for sex alone. Humans just cant help but control & dominate those who they can "sick"

I think that there are a lot of misconceptions about rape and I'm glad you made the thread OP. I'm sorry to hear that you and others have had to go through such an awful thing.

I get rather tired of people claiming that women are 'asking for it' and that it's oh so common for women to cry wolf after having consensual sex. Yes, some women do this, so what? The amount of women that have been raped is staggering, and the actual numbers are obviously higher. That some women lie about it in no way detracts from the seriousness of the problem. It's a stupid argument. 'Well some people claim they got their TV stolen to get insurance money so everyone who has been robbed is probably lying.' Idiots. The 'asking for it' really gets me. If a woman wants to walk down the street in a set of lacey undergarments, it gives no one the right to rape her. It may be a bad decision, but that does not make her rape any less vile.

reply to post by VikingWarlord


Why? Does it truly matter that she had sex with four others? Those were willing. The other was not. Regardless of past behaviour of the victim, it's still rape, it's still a crime.

To consider it anything else says more about society then the victim.

My humble opinion, of course.

reply to post by seagull
They were all willing as was she. Her friends knew the right thing to do was tell me, it made them feel uncomfortable. All I'm saying is that women who cry wolf when cheating make it hard for REAL abuse victims to make a case . Really sad.

reply to post by VikingWarlord


I was a bit unclear what you were going for with that first post, couldn't quite discern whether you were saying that women cry rape so ignore everyone, or if you were saying that when women do it's a horrible slap in the face to women who have actually been raped, and also makes it more difficult for survivors in the long run.

Glad you clarified. I think we all need to be careful with what we say, because when we start lying about things like rape, it detracts from those that are actually suffering.

reply to post by VikingWarlord


Ah... I misunderstood your post. My apologies. Thanks for the clarification.

Originally posted by VikingWarlord
reply to post by seagull

 

They were all willing as was she. Her friends knew the right thing to do was tell me, it made them feel uncomfortable. All I'm saying is that women who cry wolf when cheating make it hard for REAL abuse victims to make a case . Really sad.

All you have is hearsay from 4 women, about a party , and your ex could have been really drunk.

I've heard about scenarios, where one guy takes a very drunken girl into a bedroom, and though she may seem willing at first she is too drunk to stop or care what goes down next. The guy leaves the room and another goes in a takes advantage of a seriously intoxicated female. She at some point may be passed out, or is no shape or form to give any sort of consent. The stupid women watching it all go down, think its the womens fault and she sleeping with all those men, but none have the friggin guts to go in and ask if shes ok, or needs help, and of course label her a morally lose woman.

My guess is something of this nature could have happened to your ex, and the women who told you the story were too narrow minded to bother seeing if she was actually willing, and coherent enough to know what was going on.

Note to women who party...watch out for your very drunk GF's who get taken to a bedroom, and do not come out while the men do, and more men continue to go into the bedroom. If any women knows that a woman is seriously being taken advantage of, and does nothing to help, she is no better than the rapists in my opinion.

I really appreciate this,

The statistics do no justice to how big a problem sexual abuse is. How many rapes go unprosecuted because both parties were conveniently drunk? College culture in America plays into the hands of a predator...

I tend to think that increased prevention would best come from better education, which is my answer to most of societies problems.

My heart goes out to victims, in the last year I've struggled with the rape of someone very close to me.

reply to post by smyleegrl


You shouldn't even need to do this thread.

It disgusts me that you even have to.

Shame on those who think the fault lies anywhere with the woman.

Originally posted by LightAssassin

Shame on those who think the fault lies anywhere with the woman.

There ARE certain behaviors one can avoid to prevent being on the receiving end of a rape. To pretend otherwise is NOT good for the welfare of naive young girls who have yet to develop a good sense of rationality. I'll be so glad when victimhood is no longer en vogue.

Originally posted by Charmed707

Originally posted by LightAssassin

Shame on those who think the fault lies anywhere with the woman.

There ARE certain behaviors one can avoid to prevent being on the receiving end of a rape. To pretend otherwise is NOT good for the welfare of naive young girls who have yet to develop a good sense of rationality. I'll be so glad when victimhood is no longer en vogue.

There is a difference between risk management and placing blame. Sure, if you never drive, you'll never have a car wreck, if you never fly, you'll never be in a plane crash, but if the car crashes, or the plane crashes it isn't automatically your fault just for being there.

Don't pass out drunk at someone's house, don't let foreplay go so far that you can't get it stopped, don't let yourself be coerced into something you'll regret later, don't feel like you have to have sex to be valuable to someone, etc., etc. There are LOTS of life lessons for young girls, but that is not the same thing as putting any kind of blame on the victims.