Would anyone help your child in this situation?

Originally posted by Turq1

Originally posted by sugarcookie1

Originally posted by Turq1
A lot more info about a situation can be gained from a real cry for help vs acting, so I don't take this to be that shocking. In a real scenario a kid would probably not be saying "you're not my dad" but you'd pick that up from the voice.

I don't think the bystander effect plays into this really, a person by themselves in this situation could very well be less likely to intervene than out in the open.

Turq1
How in the world would you know if this was a real cry for help vs acting its not like they told anyone before it was done i sure wouldn't know the difference..
Looks to me like no one cared or wanted to get involved and that is sad..peace,sugarcookie1

Real cries for help aren't whiny sounding. It'd be like the person getting kidnapped was thinking, "Aww shucks, I'm getting kidnapped, well this is slightly inconvenient." It'd be like the difference of acting like a stabbed person, vs actually getting stabbed...probably safe to say the sounds a person makes, not even they know what sounds they're making, so how do you act that? A lot of people probably thought it was a kid being fussy and in anger saying the he was not her dad....which would still be something to look into though.

edit on 5/3/2012 by Turq1 because: (no reason given)

Turq1
I agree its something that still should be looked into either way..peace,sugarcookie1

I have not been in an abduction scenario, but I know I would intervene. First of all if you want help from onlookers, I feel it's better to tell them exactly what you want them to do, rather than just a general call for help. Call out for someone to take a cell video or pic and remain there, ask another to call 911, etc.

I have however intervened many times in abuse / frayed nerves situations. (malls and grocery stores) By stooping down to the child's eye level and talking to the child first in a very calm and warm voice I ask if they are having a bad day. In the case of a tantrum, the child usually stopped the screaming and just looked at me usually wondering where the heck I just came from while I rattled on for a moment and the parent composed himself or herself. Then I tried to say something distracting to the child and something kind and encouraging to the parent before moving on.

So in the proposed scenario I would stop the man and child and talk to the child in a similar manner until I determined whether to take further action. If I was not close enough I would certainly make a fuss and tell people to call the cops, yell for people to get a good description of the man and his car and order the man to let the child go.

I have also intervened when kids were ganging up on a single girl outside a mall. I simply moved in quickly as if unaware of the situation, pretended I knew the girl, "Hey long time no see!" grabbed her by the arm while telliing her how great it was to run into her, blah blah, and walked off with her as if we were going for coffee.

Originally posted by starwarsisreal
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

But what if your only 17 which I am I'd probably wouldn't because then I'll look like I want to murder the child just like that one teenager that murder this kid one time.

news.sky.com...

edit on 3-5-2012 by starwarsisreal because: (no reason given)

starwarsisreal
I'm not sure age has anything to do with helping a child in need unless your very young at 17 you know right from wrong and someone abducting a child is wrong..
I went to the link you posted and it looked to me a very clear cut case Alyssa Bustamante was guilty just by what she wrote in her diary..
And 9 year old Elizabeth Olten was her prey..It just makes me cringe that anyone could do this to another human being and feel no remorse..Clearly Alyssa had a host of mental health issues..peace,sugarcookie1

its sad that people do notice things going on and although their first instinct might have been to intervene, they usually don't and i dont understand why. I remember something similar, same issue, man was stabbed saving someone else, and no one helped him as he bled to death

www.nypost.com...

in my opinion, i would definitely try to do something, i remember helping someone who was crazy drunk and fell over in a flash a few winters ago, as i was calling an ambulance since he was face down in the snow, people around me were pissed i called

like i said i just don't get it. even when it isn't out of their way or will harm them in any form, a person can still be so unattached to another human

Originally posted by aboutface
I have not been in an abduction scenario, but I know I would intervene. First of all if you want help from onlookers, I feel it's better to tell them exactly what you want them to do, rather than just a general call for help. Call out for someone to take a cell video or pic and remain there, ask another to call 911, etc.

I have however intervened many times in abuse / frayed nerves situations. (malls and grocery stores) By stooping down to the child's eye level and talking to the child first in a very calm and warm voice I ask if they are having a bad day. In the case of a tantrum, the child usually stopped the screaming and just looked at me usually wondering where the heck I just came from while I rattled on for a moment and the parent composed himself or herself. Then I tried to say something distracting to the child and something kind and encouraging to the parent before moving on.

So in the proposed scenario I would stop the man and child and talk to the child in a similar manner until I determined whether to take further action. If I was not close enough I would certainly make a fuss and tell people to call the cops, yell for people to get a good description of the man and his car and order the man to let the child go.

I have also intervened when kids were ganging up on a single girl outside a mall. I simply moved in quickly as if unaware of the situation, pretended I knew the girl, "Hey long time no see!" grabbed her by the arm while telliing her how great it was to run into her, blah blah, and walked off with her as if we were going for coffee.

aboutface
Great post, sometimes thats all it takes with a child is a few reassuring words down at there level..
Your proposed scenario is a good one shows your very level headed ..
I'm sure the girl outside a mall was happy to see you i bet she was scared to death that was a very noble thing for you to do shows you have heart in my bookpeace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by visinequeen
its sad that people do notice things going on and although their first instinct might have been to intervene, they usually don't and i dont understand why. I remember something similar, same issue, man was stabbed saving someone else, and no one helped him as he bled to death

www.nypost.com...

in my opinion, i would definitely try to do something, i remember helping someone who was crazy drunk and fell over in a flash a few winters ago, as i was calling an ambulance since he was face down in the snow, people around me were pissed i called

like i said i just don't get it. even when it isn't out of their way or will harm them in any form, a person can still be so unattached to another human

visinequeen
I see your new to ATS welcome to the crowdI agree i just don't understand it either maybe we as humans have just become desensitized to other human beings..I just don't know the answer..peace,sugarcookie1

I'd step in, without a doubt.

I heard a fight in my apartment complex parking lot between a girl and two guys, I drove right up into the middle of it and asked her if she needed me to give her a ride or get into the car, she said no, then I asked the guys what was going on. Like unity said, lovers tiff, but I didnt think twice about going over there.

Ive experienced needing help EMERGENCY help in public screaming all the right things and no one responding, so I try to do as much as I can.

My feelings are that the phrase, "your not my dad", is something a ticked off kid may say to a father. And also, the phrase is not natural for an abduction scenario. Think about it... Why would she need to tell an abductor that he wasn't her dad? Now if she said the below mentioned, I think more folks would have responded.

"who are you, let go of me"
"help a stranger won't let me go"
"please somebody help me"
insert a few very loud screams here....

But I also think that some still would not have helped her. We live in a sick society these days...

Originally posted by ValentineWiggin
I'd step in, without a doubt.

I heard a fight in my apartment complex parking lot between a girl and two guys, I drove right up into the middle of it and asked her if she needed me to give her a ride or get into the car, she said no, then I asked the guys what was going on. Like unity said, lovers tiff, but I didnt think twice about going over there.

Ive experienced needing help EMERGENCY help in public screaming all the right things and no one responding, so I try to do as much as I can.

ValentineWiggin
Thanks for posting..I'm glad you would step into help, your another one giving me hope ..Maybe it takes someone thats been in the situation to see people out there need help i find it so hard to understand how anyone could turn there backs on a individual that needs help..peace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by elouina
My feelings are that the phrase, "your not my dad", is something a ticked off kid may say to a father. And also, the phrase is not natural for an abduction scenario. Think about it... Why would she need to tell an abductor that he wasn't her dad? Now if she said the below mentioned, I think more folks would have responded.

"who are you, let go of me"
"help a stranger won't let me go"
"please somebody help me"
insert a few very loud screams here....

But I also think that some still would not have helped her. We live in a sick society these days...

edit on 4-5-2012 by elouina because: (no reason given)

elouina
Ive come to the conclusion that many still would have strolled right passed no matter what she said ..Its a strange world we live in..peace,sugarcookie1

Sad................

50 years ago,this wouldn't happen. People had morals and principles. In fact,you wouldn't see someone snatching up a kid. Only the sickest would do something like that,and they wouldn't dare try it in public.




S&F

Originally posted by sonnny1
Sad................

50 years ago,this wouldn't happen. People had morals and principles. In fact,you wouldn't see someone snatching up a kid. Only the sickest would do something like that,and they wouldn't dare try it in public.




S&F

sonnny1
Thats very true i don't understand how society got to this point..I have to wonder what its going to be like 20 years from now thats a scary thought..peace,sugarcookie1

I would rather try to help and end up being wrong about the situation than NOT try help.........and be wrong about the situation.

Think about it.

i have encountered a similar situation at a supermarket, there was a large african american male who "appeared" to be "snatching" up a small blonde girl, she was screaming her head off, screaming for her mom, i quietly followed them around the store, out to the front door and saw him literally dragging the girl to a car.

i jumped in my trusty old jeep and parked right in front of the guy (blocking him into his parking space), looked at him dead in the eyes, pulled out a pen and paper, wrote down his license plate #, and called the police, he was sitting there honking at me while i was talking to the dispatcher, i explained the situation and apologized if it wasnt my place to be making such a call. the whole time, this guy is climbing out of his car trying to start a fight with me... haha.

not even 2 minutes later there was a sheriff there, turns out the guy was "watching" the little girl for her "mother", apparently the man was still a "stranger" to the girl, but everything was actually kosher... just thought id share, as one poster said, id rather do something and be wrong, than do nothing and be wrong.

Originally posted by Taupin Desciple
I would rather try to help and end up being wrong about the situation than NOT try help.........and be wrong about the situation.

Think about it.

Taupin Desciple
Very well said ..thank you peace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by WJjeeper
i have encountered a similar situation at a supermarket, there was a large african american male who "appeared" to be "snatching" up a small blonde girl, she was screaming her head off, screaming for her mom, i quietly followed them around the store, out to the front door and saw him literally dragging the girl to a car.

i jumped in my trusty old jeep and parked right in front of the guy (blocking him into his parking space), looked at him dead in the eyes, pulled out a pen and paper, wrote down his license plate #, and called the police, he was sitting there honking at me while i was talking to the dispatcher, i explained the situation and apologized if it wasnt my place to be making such a call. the whole time, this guy is climbing out of his car trying to start a fight with me... haha.

not even 2 minutes later there was a sheriff there, turns out the guy was "watching" the little girl for her "mother", apparently the man was still a "stranger" to the girl, but everything was actually kosher... just thought id share, as one poster said, id rather do something and be wrong, than do nothing and be wrong.

edit on 4-5-2012 by WJjeeper because: (no reason given)

WJjeeper
Thats a good story..I'm glad you stepped in..You just don't konw anymore ..Im glad to hear everything was actually kosher..Goes to show you we can be wrong sometimes about this but its better to be safe then sorry peace,sugarcookie1

Would not hesitate to confront this individual for one second.
A screaming child, no matter what she is saying, is in stress
and in need of some kind of help.Sort out the details later.
If it becomes physical with this individual then I can assure
you that he would be on the business end of some serious hurt.
I am old but still have some kick left from my martial arts training.
Dont like intimidation of any kind especially if a helpless child is
involved but thats just me.

Conformity is a scary thing..

reply to post by Unity_99


hi this is not just in U.S in fact it is a dilemma in every nook of the world.

Teach your child to point at one adult and demand they help and call 911.

When a group is obligated to act, each member assumes someone else has it taken care of. Look up "diffusion of responsibility" for more information.

Seriously folks, teach this to your little ones.