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"Wars of Ages"?
I may actually tell them the truth and that at this very moment I think we are doomed to toil and live in pain and agony when the wars of ages come because we can not heal and love ourselves to fix our own problems and actually trust God even when he abandons us.
Originally posted by Rishiana
reply to post by Akragon
Sure why not Akragon. My bump is this.... my spiritual mentor whom also helped me feel closer to God and understanding better truths about the world around us just recently blocked me on Facebook for me being scared of him telling me to leave because he's been avoiding me as of late and I pushed him for an answer out of concern and worry and the fact I had kind of fallen in love but respected we couldn't be together. He helped me understand God to a better degree and once he left all his teachings and everything I had learned from him started to make no sense at all.
As such I'm not only powerless but drained and I am emotionally confused and scarred as to if he even really cared about me in the first place. No one seems to like me either in real life or Online when I show them the real me so it doesn't help I'm stuck inside my house twenty four seven without the graces of a male or even a female who would be interested in me or to spend time with me.
I don't trust human nature or the stuff we ourselves changed and wrote over millenniums and now I don't even trust humans themselves because they all seem to be fickle. I only trust a few in fact and even those I don't really trust. I feel alone, abused, abandoned, and most of all left to rot and die. So yeah... hope that explanation helps you Akragon.edit on 30-4-2012 by Rishiana because: More Info Needededit on 30-4-2012 by Rishiana because: More info needed and separated the paragraph
I still am in love.... and the man is dying because I never listened. I never asked and then listened to him. I was so self centered on me I never did right and listened to his words and just did them. See... he was my God.... if I told you I saw my fate while taking a shower yesterday and I was to commit suicide and die and have my wish done would you believe me?
If I told you I saw many a thing.... and almost all of it came true.... his death, my own betrayal in a manner of speaking... the fact that everything fell apart in my life when he said it would... the troubles with my body on Earth that he warned in subtle hints.... yeah... some of it makes me wonder if he did use me.... but other things make me wonder if he wasn't toughening me up... and some times I think he was just being an ass. There is more to this that would seem crazy. I've done Wiccan spells that should have killed a normal person.... I've seen spirits and # full on apparitions in real life through these spells and a freaken cat I own that found me made it vanish. I've seen shadows since I was a child...
I've healed a persons shoulder blade.....
I've gone to church and had visions of my lord.... demons want me for my power and they wish to sacrifice me for it..... he has told me this and it is true. I'm just a vessel and a messenger....
this world is destined to crumble and vanish in Armageddon...
I know forbidden spells and secrets that should not be known
I have been hurt... I've had things try to crush the light inside me all my life and never once could give in. Even now... if things do not fix themselves I wont give up my life just so the fates can deem some unholy calamity to happen here.... I've done my part.... I tried... I admit I may have failed but this was much much more complex and sometimes it was hard to believe. I'd leave and you know what? He'd have come back.... and said I told you so.
I've made a friend who I was talking to one night neck bleed.... a bite wound was on his neck and this happened because he had made me extremely angry. I've done #.... but I never was evil.... I am too kind hearted.... and I'm soft and ignorant and selfish.....
now ya'll have that opportunity but who wants to look at what brings pain? Who wants to do right and have the possibility for no self gain? Lifes just not fair or easy. Just like humans aren't honest and true to their word....
I never asked and then listened to him. I was so self centered on me I never did right and listened to his words and just did them. See... he was my God.... if I told you I saw my fate while taking a shower yesterday and I was to commit suicide and die and have my wish done would you believe me? If I told you I saw many a thing.... and almost all of it came true.... his death, my own betrayal in a manner of speaking... the fact that everything fell apart in my life when he said it would... the troubles with my body on Earth that he warned in subtle hints.... yeah... some of it makes me wonder if he did use me.... but other things make me wonder if he wasn't toughening me up... and some times I think he was just being an ###.
Originally posted by RevelationGeneration
reply to post by Starchild23
That book is the key to unlocking the mysteries of life. Maybe you should try taking a look some time.edit on 25-4-2012 by RevelationGeneration because: (no reason given)
Originally posted by Rishiana
reply to post by Starchild23
Okay so I recently hit a road bump with that which I have written in my own thread. Things aren't making sense to me but you know what? Your video actually made me sick... how the hell can you just do that to people? I may have barely any hope in my body atm that God is real and going to save us. "EXCUSE" me to the people here that believe. I may actually tell them the truth and that at this very moment I think we are doomed to toil and live in pain and agony when the wars of ages come because we can not heal and love ourselves to fix our own problems and actually trust God even when he abandons us.
But you know whats the one thing I refuse to do? Tell someone your smart and logic and science is right when I know damn well its the reason we are so materialistic. Honestly.... if one person genuinely believes in the lord and takes my advice to heart they would learn to love thyself and heal thyself to love and heal another and not cast them into the pits of Hell with them. I could do it and take someone to the pits of hell with me as well as so many other people, but right now I wont.... because no matter which way I look at things, what was shown to me before this bump in my path happened was true. But it hurts to know I've been forsaken now after all the struggles I tried to overcome.
So Starchild23 you truly do have issues. I do not mean to be offensive when I say this but you have no right to do that to another living being. I don't care what kind of pain and misery I am in atm.... I refuse to allow myself to falter and drag another down a tough path. ~Sigh~ Its at times like these when I wish my God would have killed me... and made me a stillborn.... I knew I'd fail in this life. Just saying.... no one is going to listen and no matter which way I turn I know the truth... but I must rely on my hope in people and try to be a good example and show them its okay.... all you need to do is love thyself... to help another person in trouble.edit on 30-4-2012 by Rishiana because: Separated the paragraphs and added parathensesedit on 30-4-2012 by Rishiana because: More info needededit on 30-4-2012 by Rishiana because: More infoedit on 30-4-2012 by Rishiana because: Rewrote a paragraph