Well, the OP does have SOMETHING here.
I thought at first this thought was going to be about emotion scanners. Like the ones you hear will be fielded at the airports. The ones that catch
fast heartbeats, or nervous tics.
Because Inderal is used by the true, brave souls that keep this nation...free.
(cue background images of eagles flying over mountains - cue Lee Greenwood singing 'Proud to be an American')
Yes, Inderal plays an unsung, unrewarded, unknown part in keeping your country safe. While you sleep, thousands of hard working men and women all
across this country toil, and labor long nights (yay!) away from their families. Away from their homes. And when they get to those homes, they won't
be sharing. No "go to work with daddy day". No tours of Mom's office. Mommy will be skipping out again this year on the "parents day" at grade school.
Little Joshua will be telling his classmates that Daddy works for the USDA again, even though he's starting to suspect it's not true.
Because we're the men and women of the Community®. We work in concrete block, copper plated, dark lonely hellholes called SCIFs. We work in
deserts where no one wants to live, on planes that glow in the dark because they're covered in radioactive paint. We carry Canadian passports and
visit Venezuela, with what looks like cell phone gear, because we figure they can't tell a Canadian accent from a north Georgia one as long as we say
"aye" a lot or randomly hum in a few phrases in Quebecois French like a bad skit on SNL.
And Inderal helps us do this. How? How does Inderal help?
(Lee gets to the chorus...cut to shot of eagle on tree branch with waving flag fading in in background..."I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN...")
Because we have to take lifestyle polys every freakin' year. And they ask questions your Momma doesn't know about you. How much do you drink? What's
the most drunk you've been this year? What did you talk about? Did you violate your sponsor's limit of two drinks in public? And while you were away,
did you cheat? Who or what with? What are your online signons? What are the passwords to your accounts? Did you go to strip clubs while you were in
And the only thing that gets 90% of us past the poly is...Inderal.
Inderal, the elixir of the gods when it comes to polygraphs. No more "blip" when they ask about Dawn or Bambi. No more scritching sounds behind your
back when the graph goes wild on "what was this expenditure for?" No more internal "OMFG" when you realize you DID speak to someone that you didn't
fill out a foreign contact form on.
So here's to you, unnamed Mr Astra Zeneca employee, for keeping the nation proud and free. For keeping us out there in the hangars, behind the
computer terminals screening dictionary hits for relevance all the livelong day, reworking the inner s-box one more time to eliminate that pesky bias,
up the phone poles in some south American country pretending to be from Canada while we hardwire another tap. Because if it weren't for you, Mr Astra
...we'd all lose our clearances.
edit on 3-4-2012 by Bedlam because: (no reason given)