posted on Mar, 28 2012 @ 02:04 PM
My fourth journey with the psilocin
After a very demanding third journey with the 4-AcO-'___', I downgraded my dose somewhat. I took about 2/3 of the prior dose, leaving the last 1/3 to
take later on in the evening. This fourth time I didn’t really try to replicate Terence McKenna’s method of ingesting the mushroom; He sat in the
dark eating the mushroom, contemplating all his faults as a human being in the hope that the mushroom will leave these negative aspects out of the
visions. I tried this on my third journey, and it got me pretty anxious and scared. If anything, I felt that it conjured all the challenging
revelations about me and my ego. This time I finally came to the conclusion that I and Terence differ, and that what is right for one person doesn’t
have to be right for the other. I am not trying to avoid the shadier aspects of myself, but I will rather let them come if the mushroom wants it to.
Well, this time I rather let the mushroom come on while surfing the internet and chatting with people. I always have these first 20 minutes where
I’m uncertain and suspicious of the dose; was it too low? Am I going to feel nothing? Am I going to feel too much? These feelings never fail me, but
neither does the mushroom! I had been at some friends the day before, ingesting a moderate dose of beers. My stomach reminded me of this as I sat on
the computer, and I had to rush to the bathroom. Now I will get pretty candid (I do this, because when I read my other trips I get a sort of an
inhumane feeling. This is plain wrong, I am neither worse nor better than any of you. I have my fair share of faults as a human, and to avoid any
misunderstandings about my character it’s time we shed some light on these. Remember, we are all perfect just the way we are!); the mushroom came on
at the exact time as small hangover nausea contemplated a quite fierce diarrhea. Hardly the time for a mushroom peak, I thought for myself.
I say all of this because it was impressing to feel the journey going down the stairs to the “bad department” just because of some bodily
functions. It was scary nonetheless. At this time I was still at the phase where you are unsure whether you are high or not, but after inspecting my
girlfriends comb for several minutes I realized; ah, there it is! The childlike investigative and exploring impulses were surfacing, and then I knew
for sure where I was. This almost inquisitive hunger for knowledge and understanding are one of my favorite aspects of the mushroom, and I could not
wait to get on with the evening!
After this little sitting, the mushroom was coming on steadily. I continued surfing the web on sites like stumbleupon. I contemplated how great the
internet really is, how you can get instant ideas, art and knowledge. I sort of believe watching a standard Hollywood movie is a waste of time and
kind of disrespectful towards the mushroom when you are on your journey, but I didn’t get that feeling at all when I was surfing. Just one click and
I got to see amazing artworks and creativity. There simply could not be anything wrong about just that. The mushroom is pretty big on creativity, and
when I have scanned some of the drawings I have done lately I will share them with you!
Anyways, I had other plans for this evening. I prepared myself to go into the darkness again, facing the other. I have much reverence for the other,
and I fear it to a small degree. I smoked some of the lady cannabis, which is a supreme visual enhancer. After this, I laid down in my usual position
in a darkened room.
Let me first tell you a little bit about what happened the third time I journeyed with the mushroom. It mapped out my biggest fears, and it urged me
to meet these face on. I have come to fear dentist after years and years of braces, pulling teeth, adjusting and so on and so forth. Well, as
consequence of me avoiding the dentist for quite some years now, there had developed some holes in several of my teeth. This was a growing pain, which
I especially felt laying down in my bed. I actually became quite unbearable when journeying on the mushroom, very much because of the fear of a sudden
jolt of pain in the nerves I experienced quite frequently.
Well, three visits to the dentist and 1200$ poorer I could finally put this fear to rest. And as I laid there, it was painstakingly obvious why the
mushroom urged me to get my teeth fixed; complete and utter serenity surrounded me. There was no pain anywhere in my body, and there was this amazing
feeling of coherence and connection throughout my whole body. I understood that to really get to the zone, you have to leave your body out of it (much
like meditation). To stop feeling your body, you have to feel it as a single entity. I felt myself as an energy being, and I got the sensation of
seeing my body much like an Alex Gray painting. I was compromised of energy only, and I was energy.