Well, I started going with a new guy and he wants me off of ATS

Originally posted by unworldly
The replies and responses to the OP are all extremely predictable, and I'm sure she knew when she made the thread that these are exactly the types of reactions she would get. It was extremely disrespectful in the first place for the OP to make all of this public; it's a matter to be discussed and/or handled in her private life. She is obviously very immature.

If the OP's new love interest is observing this thread for reactions, then take some good advice, pal: RUN. Run far; run fast; run like the wind; run as if your very crotch is on fire and the only way to douse the flames is to dissolve whatever it is that you're developing with the OP. Even a blind man could see the chaos and drama in store for you.

Dunno what's up with you mate but you seem to have a serious problem with the poster of this thread..

Both your posts have been nothing but attacks on her and her character.. Which in my opinion is uncalled for..
Of course we can all have our opinions but when they verge on insults and rudeness it's better if you keep those opinions to yourself..

reply to post by DaughterOfARevolver


Great idea too! If he gets to pick, and choose so do you! Start with the cell phone, and facebook account. Free reign to delete, and unfriend all the "creepy" or "trashy" looking women in his social media life. Just squashing the porn alone will have him reconsidering.

Of course our reactions are predictable. We all have life experience, and right now that experience is screaming "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!, Danger!" ATS is better than Dr. Phil anyway if you just take the median good advice. There's lots of smart cookies here. If she didn't want advice she wouldn't have posted. It isn't immature. She may share her thoughts with whomever she chooses. Internet anonymity is good for that sometimes. Bounce the idea off some random heads, and get honest replies without having to stare at them at the water cooler the next day at work.

Sure there are things about your personal life you just shouldn't blog about, but I don' think she came anywhere even close to that line. The majority of what I hear is sound advice that most counselors would give. If he can respect boundaries, he's a keeper. If he can't, get out, and the sooner the better. Life is to short to live it for someone else. You gotta find the one that you are happy with, no the one that makes you happy. If you have to be AB or C to "make" him happy, it's all wrong. If you are happy just being with him, and vice versa, bumps, lumps, pimples, farts, and all. You have the beginning of something, all you need to add is the hard work of making it work. Relationships are very hard, and pretty much impossible with a control freak. You should be good enough for him "as is" no warranty.

He'll probably be telling her what to wear next.

And you are legitimately considering starting a relationship with someone who is so desperate he will see you, even though the first thing he wants you to do is change yourself and stop with something you find fun?

Good luck is all i can say without being rude further.

I don't really know you, but I feel obligated to say... RUN. I made a ton of really bad decisions that sound like the one you are probably making. So much focus here about him asking you not to post here, but the real scary thing is why he has a problem with it in the first place? I don't know the answer, but I assure you, it's a "creepy" one.

reply to post by Partygirl


I have only read the title and the first line...
I would look for another boyfriend

He must be a dis-info agent for TPTB

Explanation: S&F!

Partygirl

Relationships are like a career ...



Personal Disclosure: See you when you get thirsty again!

P.S. If he ever hurts you :shk: ... Best of luck!

reply to post by Suspiria






Well he has in a way, by telling her. 'her avitar is inappropriate???' And she

has changed it!!

Originally posted by Misterlondon
Of course we can all have our opinions but when they verge on insults and rudeness it's better if you keep those opinions to yourself..

Very true.

Now, seeing as you've taken it upon yourself to police peoples replies in this thread, could you also have a word with the OP -- who failed to keep her boyfriends insulting and rude opinions regarding ATS members to herself?

The boyfriend who is now (going by the responses in this thread) the devil incarnate with poor, old innocent Partygirl in his clutches!





"Hayelp! Hayelp!"


I'll save you Partygirl!
(lmao)

Originally posted by Misterlondon
Both your posts have been nothing but attacks on her and her character..

You're absolutely correct, and I stand by what I said.

I detest--absolutely detest--a wolfpack mentality, and that is exactly what the OP encouraged when she made this thread.

I've never interacted with her before or even taken notice of her before now, but this thread tells me everything I need to know about her. She's trouble. As for the person she's demonizing--and who she has encouraged each one of you to demonize as well by making this thread--needs to take a second look at her.

I don't normally jump on the generic politically-correct bandwagon and spout off the sort of response that people expect--as most of the rest of you do. Get used to it.

reply to post by unworldly









TBH half way through reading your second post my thoughts were that is the new bf !

reply to post by unworldly

I don't normally jump on the generic politically-correct bandwagon and spout off the sort of response that people expect--as most of the rest of you do. Get used to it.

You speak like a spoiled brat teenager who will spite himself just to be rebellious to his parents wishes. Sounds like you would go against your own better judgment if too many people agreed with you.

It is not "politically-correct" advice. It is common sense and actual life experience that most people here are speaking from. Now you're attacking everyone in the thread for giving the correct advice.

You have decided to judge her and everyone else here by a brief one topic conversation. Wow, ...OK

I think it would only be fair to shine the spotlight on your own behavior once again and judge your character based on the things you have said in a couple paragraphs.

Not liking what I see

reply to post by Partygirl

I thought about it and I think that's fair.

Scenario:

New boyfriend doesn't like your group of real friends because they are "creepy" and tells you to stop talking to them.

Are you okay with that?

I wouldn't be, and I wouldn't expect my wife to be either.

Originally posted by DIDtm
reply to post by Partygirl

 

Sounds like the beginning of a possessive relationship.

Seriously, its just a forum and someone already taking granular control of your habits after first "spending time together" is a big sign that he will become a problem for you.

Good luck and take it slow.

reply to post by phishyblankwaters


It sounds to me like they are both young people. Perhaps somewhat new to serious relationships.

I would bet that most of this is about him competing for her attention. It doesn't matter what the competition is (ATS, friends, other men) it's all the same. He wants to be number 1 as far as getting her attention.

Too bad he probably will never be as interesting as ATS

You should expect and demand that he like or at least accept the whole you. Who is he to dictate what you need to change about yourself to suit his needs? Kick him to the curb girlfriend. I say he doesn't get you until he gets you

reply to post by Partygirl


Excellent way to start a relationship -Change to be what he wants you to be- Sounds like you guys got a lot in common hahahaha

Originally posted by MathiasAndrew
I think it would only be fair to shine the spotlight on your own behavior once again and judge your character

Feel free; join the multitudes before you who have already done so. No regrets.

Aw sweetie..... I don't know.

I'm a woman and have a few more years than you do in the this world. And what I want to tell you is this:

Love should NEVER be conditional. It's not good to start out a relationship with someone laying down conditions. It's best to start out a relationship with someone accepting you completely as you are. You may be willing to "change" or alter your behavior for this guy now, but eventually you will resent having to pretend to be something you're not. No guy is worth that. You're wonderful, bright and interesting just as you are now.

I can't tell you how many people I know who stay with someone because they believe they can change them. That is the number one mistake people make in relationships. He should accept you as you are in the here and now. He's trying to make a "designer partner" keeping the things he likes about you and asking you to change the things he doesn't.

Your interest in ATS is part of who you are. Maybe he sees that as a flaw, but in truth, it's the flaws we truly love about a thing. It's the chip in the china dish that makes it yours, it's the bumps in the road that have made people kinder and more experienced, it's the puppy's floppy ear that makes him endearing. He could choose to see your interest in conspiracies and searching for the truth as an element to your personality that makes you more interesting.

Please put up your red flags. In another week or two, will he ask you to change something else? I believe it's very possible. If that happens, please walk the other way.

The best sort of relationships are based on unconditional love. That's hard to find in the world, but it's not impossible.

Good luck....