PG, I hope I'm wrong but this guy doesn't sound like he's for you. One thing I'm sure of is that you are one smart cookie, and if this guy was a total
loser, you wouldn't be interested in him. I'm sure he has all kinds of good qualities, good genes, and good looks; but his insistence that you not
post on a favorite internet board is juuuuust a bit too controlling. Usually those kind of demands don't begin until later.
My concern is that demanding someone change starts small like this, but before you know it everything you do in life is to please him and you've lost
all sense of who you are. Plus, why should he even care what you do when you aren't with him; and what gives him the right to tell you what to do with
that time? You yourself said you just started seeing each other.
My wife and I have been together for 24 years sweetie. One of the things I love the most about her is that she lets me do what I want to do, and never
gives me any grief over it. If I want to go fishing, I fish; If I want to hunt, I hunt; if go over to a friend's house and get too hammered to drive
(extremely rare, but it has
happened) I call her so she won't worry and then I'm couch-bound for the rest of the night. With as little as 15
minutes notice, I have grabbed my gear and gone out the door with my friends for a weekend camping trip, with a "Have fun and bring some hamburger
home OK?" as the only response.
The point is, she loves me because I am who I am. She has never tried to change me, make demands of me, or give me grief if I want to go out and do my
own thing. In exchange, I have returned the favor; and more. Even though she never asked, I have changed in some ways because I knew it would please
her. I think that is the key to a long-lasting relationship; doing things that will please your partner, even if it is something you might not like to
do, or stopping something you would like to continue doing. You make this change not because your partner asks, or demands it, but because you know
that it will make them happy. That, my dear, is love.
Getting back to you though, as I said I think you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. I hope you use it now, and don't let your infatuation
with this guy change your life in ways far more drastic than leaving ATS. We, I, will miss you, and I hope you come back soon. You add a lot to our
discussions, and that input will be sorely missed.
edit on 12/6/2011 by OldCorp because: (no reason given)