Sorry babe, but you do have a penis....... [WTB]

My mom has told me that EXACT same thing.

When my twin cousins would come over from lancaster she wouldn't let them sleep in the same room as me. they would like sleeping on my bed (queen) because they would both fit. after a few times that they slept in my bed and i crashed on the floor, she said that she does NOT want me sleeping in the same room as them because she was SCARED THAT I MIGHT TOUCH THEM OR SOMETHING. that happened when i was 16 and it really got me down, i now understand tho.

reply to post by BrokenCircles


@1littlewolf on ur post

Much of our society still remains conditioned to believe that:
Long Hair, Beard, Tattoos = Bad Guy
&
Well Groomed, Clean Shaven, Suit & Tie = Good Guy



I see this far too often as I have 2 almost full sleeves, I get the looks and judgement so much that I even lost a job based on the stories people made up about me being a criminal. What I don't understand is why the tattoos make such a difference in what people think. I have short hair, am a well groomed clean cut guy who dresses nice (not suit nice). I'm quiet, a very nice guy, polite and everything. I just did 8 yrs in the Marine Corps and got into tattoos.... I would think that my service, manors, demeanor, dress and overall clean cut appearance would tip thew scales in my favor with people, but I still get discriminated against regularly. I even stopped a toddler, who's mother wasn't paying attention to, from getting hit by a door only to have her grab him real quick and move him away from me with a look on her face that said she thought I was trying to kidnap him.

reply to post by 1littlewolf


I have been watching this thread for a while, and it has certainly had it's share of for and againsts.

I have two girls of my own, and am also a single parent, so raising them in situations like yours are very common and known to me. The amount of stares you receive going into a "parent's room" still gets me today. It's almost like an oddity, where we should not be welcome or something, and frankly it tends to make me a little sick.
I would also like to say my hat goes off to you for having a vested interest in your kids, it is good to see parents being parents first, many people work first, live first, etc, etc, with parenting coming somewhere down the track.
As for the "whale" as you put her (I did have a few laughs picturing such a creature, sadly they are everywhere in Australia), I am in two minds as to where to place her accusations.
On the one hand it was very arrogant and stupid of her to simply assume you were there to take pictures of children, and a simple question probably could have avoided a small deal becoming a big deal. Some people automatically assume the worst of anyone around them, and in order to make themselves feel empowered they seek to belittle others just as you described.
On the other hand however, this type of behaviour is sadly becoming more common these days, it seems pedophaelia and child snatching seems to be on the rise across Australia, and with that in mind I would hope in a real situation there would be people willing to not look the other way and stand up if such a thing were occuring in a public place around you.
I once had a similar situation with my girls a few years ago, when my youngest needed to go to the toilet. As I stated I am a single dad, so I needed to take my daughter into the male toilets as there is no other choice. I also had to take my eldest in with me, for obvious reasons, and when we exited a woman confronted me about how disgusting it was I took my daughters into a male toilet. I thought of many responses and justifications, but instead very loudly replied "Would you rather me leave them out here on their own so a psycho like you can run off with them?" Needless to say the conversation was ended very quickly.
I would personally write a letter of complaint to both the local council and the lifeguard association to make them aware of the situation, not so much to get anyone in trouble, but maybe to educate them in the fact the world is changing, and that we dads have just as much rights as anyone else.

Originally posted by OUTofSTEPwithTHEworld
My mom has told me that EXACT same thing.

When my twin cousins would come over from lancaster she wouldn't let them sleep in the same room as me. they would like sleeping on my bed (queen) because they would both fit. after a few times that they slept in my bed and i crashed on the floor, she said that she does NOT want me sleeping in the same room as them because she was SCARED THAT I MIGHT TOUCH THEM OR SOMETHING

. that happened when i was 16 and it really got me down, i now understand tho.

edit on 7-12-2011 by OUTofSTEPwithTHEworld because: (no reason given)

This is exactly what I'm talking about. One might wonder why (I'm assuming) she would let you be alone with them on occasions during the day, but as soon as it's night and there's a bed involved she would assume your thoughts would stray to 'touching' them. Obviously being 16 and male you'd be thinking about sex quite a bit, and I'm guessing she might of changed the odd stained bed sheet.... But really what difference would it make. If you really were that sick then you'd find away night or day.

I could accept if she said something like "I don't want any of you mucking around." I'm not naive and have heard stories of teenage cousins getting up to a little hanky panky. But the fact that she singled you out is really not cool. And I mean there's two of them, really what could you do even if you wanted to but they didn't. It is one thing to target teens as a whole, for hormones do run wild, but to single out the male as the only likely integator is completely unacceptable. In my experiences teenage girls are just as likely to initiate something as the boys.

This really gets back to what I was saying earlier. What kind of message are we sending males when we say that they can't be trusted to control their own sexual instincts. I really do think this can cause a young males developing brain to make connections which are really not very healthy, which in turn can only exacerbate the problem.

You write a great story. I can really imagine what it was like that day on the beach from the picture you paint with words. I have not heard a story like this before. It is also nice to get a man's perspective about the world, even though the circumstances are quite sad. I am sure there are more men with experiences like this though.
I do not know if it is the media or just society in general but it seems as if people more easily to jump to ill-formed opinions about total strangers.
It really does not surprise me the lengths that someone will go to while being completely prejudice. I dont know if people realize when they do this but I wish more people were aware of it when they are.
I have had people on the street and in stores walk up to me and say the rudest things. The woman in the purple one-piece reminds me of these strangers I've met ever so briefly. I am a tall, thin and delicately built woman. I know what people first think when they see me for the first time. I have had quite a few stranger's say to me that I am anorexic, ask if I am anorexic and also I've had people comment about the groceries I buy. One incident at the grocery store I had to pull my boyfriend away from a guy who walked up to me and said I needed to eat more. After that I was feeling a little insecure and concerned something was wrong with me. So I went to visit my doctor and asked him. I know he was humoring me when he gave me a physical examination because when he concluded he said to me basically "you know nothing is wrong with you, sometimes people just stick their noses where they dont belong."
haha, he is a funny doctor and I couldn't agree more with his diagnosis.

I can only imagine what would have happened if your kids did not answer when called. I am so glad that did not happen to you!

reply to post by 1littlewolf


My heart goes out to you OP , nosey people should be executed

Originally posted by ShyTatt
reply to post by BrokenCircles

 

@1littlewolf on ur post

Much of our society still remains conditioned to believe that:
Long Hair, Beard, Tattoos = Bad Guy
&
Well Groomed, Clean Shaven, Suit & Tie = Good Guy



I see this far too often as I have 2 almost full sleeves, I get the looks and judgement so much that I even lost a job based on the stories people made up about me being a criminal. What I don't understand is why the tattoos make such a difference in what people think. I have short hair, am a well groomed clean cut guy who dresses nice (not suit nice). I'm quiet, a very nice guy, polite and everything. I just did 8 yrs in the Marine Corps and got into tattoos.... I would think that my service, manors, demeanor, dress and overall clean cut appearance would tip thew scales in my favor with people, but I still get discriminated against regularly. I even stopped a toddler, who's mother wasn't paying attention to, from getting hit by a door only to have her grab him real quick and move him away from me with a look on her face that said she thought I was trying to kidnap him.

I'm a little luckier than you as none of mine show unless I have my shirt off.......yet. Although I do plan on getting more despite this incident. I honestly don't know if it was the tat's though, as the city of Perth is full of miners (including myself) and every third person sports some ink.

I think the woman had an initial thought and mumbled something which I heard, I caught her eye and probably sneered back - I honestly can't remember. This gave her all the ammo she needed.

It is a tough one though because society is built around judging others by appearence which can sometimes be quite accurate, but many of the sterotypes which linger in peoples mind are very outdated. Like one of the previous posters said - it's usually the clean cut dude sporting the neatly ironed shirt and tie that you have to look out for. These are the ones who are afraid to show their true personalities, and their motivations can be very hard to judge.

You obviously have had it far worse than me though for I have never lost a job. But the best you can do is be true to yourself, and lot let the opinions of others get you down.

Not for nothing OP, but if you really look at your own writing, you are just as guilty as the woman on the beach, and finding fault with it. Although it was my favorite line and I laughed out loud on it, "as I watched this human walrus shuffle off across the sand..." You judged her, and yet you find fault for judging you.

I loved what you are saying in general, but yes that is the kind of a society we live in now. There are a lot of monsters out there, and they have ruined things bad enough for the good guys. I absolutely love and adore children. I love playing with them, I love talking with them, and I love making them laugh. There is nothing closer removed from the source than children, and I love witnessing that power. I have no problem going down to their level and acting like a big kid myself. However, I have learned, especially since I have gotten older, that I need to be extremely careful of what other perception can be. I have actually pulled back having any kind of real interaction with children because I am deathly afraid of some kooks like what you experienced on the beach, misinterpreting my intentions. I don't have the clean cut look at all, do have tattoos, and notice how society judges me as a whole all the time. The other day I was at the supermarket and there was this little old lady outside struggling to get to her car with her basket. I walked over to offer assistance if I could, and you should of seen the way she looked at me. You would think by her look that I was there to rob her or something. It really broke my heart that she was in clear need of some assistance, and she wouldn't accept it because of what she perceived me as.

Kids are a big no-no in life as you start getting older. It troubles me because I don't have any kids of my own, love them to death, but can't interact with them because of how paranoid as a society we have gotten. It's a shame to because I am so awesome with them, and they always fall in love with me

Thanks for the topic and the story though. It's not talked about enough IMO.

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
Much of our society still remains conditioned to believe that:

[color=FF7B61]Long Hair

[color=FF7B61]Beard

[color=FF7B61]Tattoos
[color=FF7B61]= Bad Guy

&

[color=7AFF7A]Well Groomed

[color=7AFF7A]Clean Shaven

[color=7AFF7A]Suit & Tie
[color=7AFF7A]= Good Guy

9 times out of 10, it's the guy in the suit that you should keep your eye on.

Worn by bankers, politicians and used car salesmen. The uniform of deceivers.

"Look at my good clothes. I must be a good person". A simple trick that is highly effective on simple minds.

Unfortunately, low vibration people have very little instinct or intuition and have no choice but to rely on what they have been told to decide a person's character.

It really isn't hard to spot the pedos when you can read a person's energies.

Originally posted by 74Templar
On the other hand however, this type of behaviour is sadly becoming more common these days, it seems pedophaelia and child snatching seems to be on the rise across Australia, and with that in mind I would hope in a real situation there would be people willing to not look the other way and stand up if such a thing were occuring in a public place around you.

Maybe it is, but maybe we are just hearing about it more. It's hard to know but a lot of me blame the media and its intense focus on this issue as it always seems to be a ratings winner. I also think an increase in the reporting of sex crimes has contibuted to a perceived increase. Nationally the figure actually show a slight decrease across 2009-2010 period from 2007-2008 period.

But another question one might want to ask is assuming these incidences are actually increasing, what is it that is contributing to this increase?

I once had a similar situation with my girls a few years ago, when my youngest needed to go to the toilet. As I stated I am a single dad, so I needed to take my daughter into the male toilets as there is no other choice. I also had to take my eldest in with me, for obvious reasons, and when we exited a woman confronted me about how disgusting it was I took my daughters into a male toilet. I thought of many responses and justifications, but instead very loudly replied "Would you rather me leave them out here on their own so a psycho like you can run off with them?" Needless to say the conversation was ended very quickly.
I would personally write a letter of complaint to both the local council and the lifeguard association to make them aware of the situation, not so much to get anyone in trouble, but maybe to educate them in the fact the world is changing, and that we dads have just as much rights as anyone else.

Nice come back, would have loved to see the look on her face.

Originally posted by BlueBanshee
You write a great story. I can really imagine what it was like that day on the beach from the picture you paint with words. I have not heard a story like this before. It is also nice to get a man's perspective about the world, even though the circumstances are quite sad. I am sure there are more men with experiences like this though.
I do not know if it is the media or just society in general but it seems as if people more easily to jump to ill-formed opinions about total strangers.
It really does not surprise me the lengths that someone will go to while being completely prejudice. I dont know if people realize when they do this but I wish more people were aware of it when they are.
I have had people on the street and in stores walk up to me and say the rudest things. The woman in the purple one-piece reminds me of these strangers I've met ever so briefly. I am a tall, thin and delicately built woman. I know what people first think when they see me for the first time. I have had quite a few stranger's say to me that I am anorexic, ask if I am anorexic and also I've had people comment about the groceries I buy. One incident at the grocery store I had to pull my boyfriend away from a guy who walked up to me and said I needed to eat more. After that I was feeling a little insecure and concerned something was wrong with me. So I went to visit my doctor and asked him. I know he was humoring me when he gave me a physical examination because when he concluded he said to me basically "you know nothing is wrong with you, sometimes people just stick their noses where they dont belong."
haha, he is a funny doctor and I couldn't agree more with his diagnosis.

We live in a world of judgement, and its just the way many of us have been brought up. But to take this to the next level and voice comments about a situation you know nothing about is something else entirely.

I have a female friend who is naturally very skinny, and she used to get 'anorexic' comments all the time. Usually from women, but then often from guys who's tried to hit on her and got knocked back.

I can only imagine what would have happened if your kids did not answer when called. I am so glad that did not happen to you!

Lol this really was one of the few times the actually did. Usually I call their names and they start running the other way

reply to post by 1littlewolf

It’s hard to tell who was right and who was wrong being though the other party isn’t here to defend their actions.

Wearing European thongs at a beach taking pictures isn’t really the best solution.. You think!

Originally posted by Awoken4Ever
Not for nothing OP, but if you really look at your own writing, you are just as guilty as the woman on the beach, and finding fault with it. Although it was my favorite line and I laughed out loud on it, "as I watched this human walrus shuffle off across the sand..." You judged her, and yet you find fault for judging you.

You are indeed correct. But just remember this is the short story forum and I was trying to paint a visual picture for the reader. This was originally destined for the rants section until I noticed this months story topic.

But it is human nature to make judgements. It is how you act on those judgements that really shows your real character. I think everyone on the beach that day could have acted a little better, especially the walrus .

I loved what you are saying in general, but yes that is the kind of a society we live in now. There are a lot of monsters out there, and they have ruined things bad enough for the good guys. I absolutely love and adore children. I love playing with them, I love talking with them, and I love making them laugh. There is nothing closer removed from the source than children, and I love witnessing that power. I have no problem going down to their level and acting like a big kid myself. However, I have learned, especially since I have gotten older, that I need to be extremely careful of what other perception can be. I have actually pulled back having any kind of real interaction with children because I am deathly afraid of some kooks like what you experienced on the beach, misinterpreting my intentions. I don't have the clean cut look at all, do have tattoos, and notice how society judges me as a whole all the time. The other day I was at the supermarket and there was this little old lady outside struggling to get to her car with her basket. I walked over to offer assistance if I could, and you should of seen the way she looked at me. You would think by her look that I was there to rob her or something. It really broke my heart that she was in clear need of some assistance, and she wouldn't accept it because of what she perceived me as.

Kids are a big no-no in life as you start getting older. It troubles me because I don't have any kids of my own, love them to death, but can't interact with them because of how paranoid as a society we have gotten. It's a shame to because I am so awesome with them, and they always fall in love with me

Thanks for the topic and the story though. It's not talked about enough IMO.

My heart goes out to you Awoken4Ever. One of the best things about having kids is you get to forget all those meaningless adult concerns for a while and just be a kid yourself again. I'm 28, I look 22 but mentally i have the maturity level of a 14 year old.

Being with children lets you embrace your own inner child, if only for a few fleeting moments.....

Originally posted by NuclearPaul

Worn by bankers, politicians and used car salesmen. The uniform of deceivers.

"Look at my good clothes. I must be a good person". A simple trick that is highly effective on simple minds.

The ones who look a little differently are often the ones who you can trust the most, for they do not have ihe inclination to hide aspects of their personality

Unfortunately, low vibration people have very little instinct or intuition and have no choice but to rely on what they have been told to decide a person's character.

It really isn't hard to spot the pedos when you can read a person's energies.

Could not agree with you more....

Originally posted by LogiosHermes27

Wearing European thongs at a beach taking pictures isn’t really the best solution.. You think!

Unless of course you're Megan Fox

I have four children in my life aged 18, 12, 6 and 1. All of them belong to my brother and sister-in-law. My eldest niece is just about to turn 13 a couple of days after Christmas, and she is very bright and bubbly and loves to hang around with me when I go over to visit.
The other week one of my friends went there with me and saw how I was torturing her with tickles and stuff, like I do the other three too (even my 18 year old nephew) and he said jokingly "Is this the next girlfriend then?"
Since then, my brother has said to me that I should distance myself from her as people might think there's something else going on with us. He has a reason though, a few years ago he was himself accused of doing stuff with a young girl in his care, and it ruined his life, even though the girl who accused him later admitted to making it all up!

reply to post by 1littlewolf


I completely agree with you. They are the most amazing thing on the planet. I did get the joy of raising a little boy, but he is not in my life at all anymore, and I haven't seen him in over 8 years now, and never will again. He wasn't my child, but I did raise him. I am at a point in life where I will never get to have children now based off my age. It is the one thing I will always truly regret that I will take to my grave. In a lot of ways, I am glad I never brought a child into this horror of a world, but for selfish reasons, I will always regret it.

I am in my 40's and I will never grow up, so I know what you mean about feeling 14. Children are truly the greatest gift on this planet, and the best gift God ever gave me was that time with my son.

Till my dying days I will never, ever, understand why anyone would hurt a child in any capacity (physically, mentally, or sexually). God may be upset with me about a few things in life, but we are definitely going to have a little chat about that one day!

Another fantastic story.

My mum doesn't trust my dad's friends (even ones that were my dad's childhood friends.) Trust is very lacking in society...because of continuous stories in the MSM news. It's such a shame

Originally posted by doogle
I have four children in my life aged 18, 12, 6 and 1. All of them belong to my brother and sister-in-law. My eldest niece is just about to turn 13 a couple of days after Christmas, and she is very bright and bubbly and loves to hang around with me when I go over to visit.
The other week one of my friends went there with me and saw how I was torturing her with tickles and stuff, like I do the other three too (even my 18 year old nephew) and he said jokingly "Is this the next girlfriend then?"
Since then, my brother has said to me that I should distance myself from her as people might think there's something else going on with us. He has a reason though, a few years ago he was himself accused of doing stuff with a young girl in his care, and it ruined his life, even though the girl who accused him later admitted to making it all up!

edit on 9/12/2011 by doogle because: Missed some detail.

I guess this case is a little different, as it seems he was only looking out for your own well being. I can only imagine how terrible it must have been for him. One would almost wish to be falsely accused of murder than of pedophilia for it is a taint that will never really leave your reputation. A lot harder to prove guilt which in turn makes it a lot harder to clear your name as people will always have their doubts....

Originally posted by Awoken4Ever
reply to post by 1littlewolf

 

I completely agree with you. They are the most amazing thing on the planet. I did get the joy of raising a little boy, but he is not in my life at all anymore, and I haven't seen him in over 8 years now, and never will again. He wasn't my child, but I did raise him. I am at a point in life where I will never get to have children now based off my age. It is the one thing I will always truly regret that I will take to my grave. In a lot of ways, I am glad I never brought a child into this horror of a world, but for selfish reasons, I will always regret it.

Bringing a child into this world with an attitude like your could never be a selfish act. I've no doubt if you did have children they would certainly never regret being born.

I am in my 40's and I will never grow up, so I know what you mean about feeling 14. Children are truly the greatest gift on this planet, and the best gift God ever gave me was that time with my son.

At least you have that, however fleeting the time it was.

My mom did not have me til she was in her 40's, and my dad was in his 50's. I was actually an accident when my father was going through a 'rough' patch in his marriage. I haven't seen him since I was 2 (so obviously I don't actually remeber this), and found out through google I have 5 older brothers and a younger sister and brother whom he cares for very much. Never once sent me even a Xmas card and I doubt his other family even knows I exist. My mom has been amazing though, as I put her through hell in my late teens early 20's. Thankfully I managed to get my s$%t together though.

I only tell you this because there is always hope. I do not know anything of your personal circumstances though but anything is possible. Maybe one day you might even see your son again.

Till my dying days I will never, ever, understand why anyone would hurt a child in any capacity (physically, mentally, or sexually). God may be upset with me about a few things in life, but we are definitely going to have a little chat about that one day!

I really wish I could give you more but all I can do is one blue star. Best wishes to you brother.