Something tragic just happened recently. My mom passed.

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman


I really feel for you. I lost my mom very suddenly, and didn't get the chance to say goodbye and tell her how much I loved her. It hurts like hell doesn't it.

I sought the help of mediums, only to be ripped off and left in a worse emotional state. So please, don't make my mistakes. They are all charlatons and fakes.

All I can tell you is that it DOES get better...the pain eases with time and the unanswered questions become unimportant.

My advice is go somewhere peaceful and quiet, and talk to your mom. Tell her how you are feeling, say all the things you would say if she was with you. I'm sure a part of her spirit will always be with you.

Peace

reply to post by MissConstrood


I don't know what to do.

I'll just try to move on.

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman


I'm sorry for your loss brother I don't log in much anymore, but I had to this time.

All I can do is pray I hope your a God fearing man. There is nothing you could of done...don't ever blame yourself. There is nothing you can get from her death other than the hope she's in a better place.

My Mom is about 60 and I fear for her death daily I'm not sure what I would do without her. maybe with your loss you can help us all.

I remember a story when this young child lost her Dad, and she wrote him a letter and tied it to a balloon and let it go and the Mom said it's going to him. About a month later it was found hundreds of miles away and the woman that found it sent her a letter telling her that her Dad is with God now, and he wants her to be happy coincidence??? I think not.

Hope that helps and I hope you didn't take that in the wrong way.

Love Sammy, Aka Glan.

More than likely, your Mother will contact you. It will probably be when your mind is the most open and non-discriminatory... like when you are falling asleep or in your dreams. Dreams of that nature have a much more different feeling. You'll know it when it happens. You can trust that more than anyone external.

But not all questions are meant to be answered. Sometimes we learn more in trying to seek answers than we do if the answers were simply given.

I would recommend you read this book entitled, "After Death or Letters From Julia" to help you on this new phase of your journey in Life. It may help you to understand. It is a very old book which can now be downloaded for free. It will also help get your mind in the mode for your Mother to contact you when she can.

click here for the free PDF "After Death or Letters From Julia"

In 1892, William Stead discovered he had the gift of automatic writing and it was then that a discarnate entity claiming to be Julia Ames began to write using Stead’s hand. “Sitting alone with a tranquil mind, I consciously placed my right hand, with the pen held in the ordinary way, at the disposal of Julia, and watched with keen and skeptical interest to see what it would write.” Stead wrote at the time.

By the way...... we never die...... we simply evolve.

Originally posted by John_Rodger_Cornman
reply to post by MissConstrood

 

I don't know what to do.

I'll just try to move on.

You really don't have to do anything. 'Loam' was right when he said "just be". There is no right or wrong way to grieve, just do what feels natural and let time do the rest.

One thing I would like to say is that I got very angry with other members of my family because I didn't understand their behaviour in the months that followed my moms passing. I understand now that everyone has their own way of dealing with things and I was wrong to judge.

Just remember your mom with love and joy.

Peace

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman

Originally posted by John_Rodger_Cornman
I need a sensitive to help answer a few questions about my mother.
My mom passed away recently. Her name is Michelle. I need to come to closure with it. This is very painful and sudden.

1)was there any foul play involved?
2)What was the actual cause of death?
3)What does she want me to know?
4)Could I have prevented it?
5)Tell her I love you.

Thank you for responding.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and pain.

In addressing your specific request, I would like to add my two cents to the differing, insightful opinions and suggestions already posted. I need to address your questions in reverse order.

5) - The absolute best way to communicate this is in your own heart and thoughts. I know it can be difficult to be satisfied with expressing such love without the immediacy of a reply. But you are the one with the strong connection with her. She will hear you - whether you express this in your thoughts, words or deeds - more clearly than through any medium, no matter how talented.

4) - You could not have prevented it - and I say this with full honesty, knowing I am not aware of the specific circumstances. When it is someone's time to go, no forces on earth can prevent it. If violence, suicide, or other human action directly causes the death, there are still much larger spiritual forces at work that we can barely imagine in our present form.

3) - If there is anything she needs/wants to communicate with you, she will - but be patient. It will probably take time, mainly for your healing process to continue, in order for you to receive any signs or messages from her. Remember that time is an earthly construct - it is of no consequence in higher dimensions. Give yourself time to ample time to grieve before resorting to working with a medium. If you are still really determined to seek out a medium at that time, please be aware that while, IMO, there are some very talented mediums out there, they are outnumbered 100 to 1, or more, with charlatans.

As far as your first two questions go, concentrate your inquiries with the proper authorities here. If these questions linger, they may be answered in time. I know that they can be the most pressing and weigh very heavily on our minds, but try not to have them derail your healing process.

There are many very good resources available - whether they be a book, support group, compassionate friends and family - to help you both now and in the future. Please feel free to message me anytime if I can be of further support to you. I will keep both you and your mom in my thoughts.

Originally posted by stellify
I am so sorry for your loss.

When my father died, I was left desolate. It was awful.

It was nearly six years ago and it just ripped me apart in ways I am only beginning to realise. Grief is an awful thing, and it hits you in surprising ways.

I have always sought to stay away fom psychics and mediums, no matter how much I want to hear from my dad...and I really do want to hear from him...every day.

However, psychics and mediums can be seductive and you can get hooked in something unprovable. There's nothing to prove what they say is true.

I wanted someone to blame when my dad died - in particular I wanted to be able to blame my mother...that would have been one of my main reasons in seeking a medium to contact him.

My advice would be to wait...if a sign is to come, it will come. Seeking out a response will not make it happen...it may lead you down a path which takes you nowhere.

Please tell us more about your situation and why you doubt that her death was natural.

Also, when you go to bed...welcome her to visit you in a dream. I have seen my dad a few times since he died...most of the time in dreams. It comforts me.

I felt a lot like you when I lost my dad a year and a half ago.... it is actually what eventually brought me here.

It was the first time I had ever lost anyone that close to me and it hurt in ways I never thought was possible..

It is comforting when they visit you in dreams.. I haven't had many that I remember but my sister has them all of the time. I actually see people who resemble my dad in such an uncanny way....its eerie. Which happens quite often.

The one thing I want the most.. is to hear his voice. It kills me knowing I never will. In my dreams, when he goes to talk, something happens and he doesn’t end up speaking.

I do feel he has sent messages to my sister and I.

*To the OP .. I feel your pain. Hard to imagine that someone else can go through what you are going through, the rollercoaster of emotions. Whatever you do, try not to push the people closest to you away… I learned the hard way and am still trying to repair relationships. I pray that the heartache you are going through eases. I hated when people told me they were “sorry” too.. I swore if one more person had said that to me I was going to freak out…lol

I can tell you a story about a personal experience of mine.

It was a dream but a different type of dream it was a visitation you wake up very emotional but also full of joy. I have had only one other like it and it was my Dad who came to me and provided some comfort, so anyway this dream contained my grandmother and my grandfather who had passed some time before my grandmother and it goes as follows.

I was coming in thru the back door of my grandmother's and was greeted by my grandmother who asked me to either lock or unlock the back it was very realistic i seemed to pass thru the room very quickly and made my way to the kitchen only to be called back by my grandfather who gave me the most loving and soothing embrace it was pure love ! I again woke up very emotional and let my mother know about the dream she said it was odd that i had mentioned the back door as the estate agent was having difficulty showing the prospective buyers the back garden low and behold she gave the estate agent the backdoor key and the house sold.

In both of these dreams they ended with my dad and my grandparents falling asleep.

I am so sorry for you're loss my friend and can only hope you find some comfort.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

Originally posted by John_Rodger_Cornman
I need a sensitive to help answer a few questions about my mother.
My mom passed away recently. Her name is Michelle. I need to come to closure with it. This is very painful and sudden.

1)was there any foul play involved?
2)What was the actual cause of death?
3)What does she want me to know?
4)Could I have prevented it?
5)Tell her I love you.

Thank you for responding.

edit on 6-9-2011 by John_Rodger_Cornman because: (no reason given)

Condolences.May i suggest when calling on proof of survival from a medium that you say nothing and provide NO details what so ever,this actually makes the job easier.Let the medium bring details for you.Even tho the details may not be the answers to your questions,other details can be given.
Supplying her name to you,and her relationship to you is the mediums job,then we can start the reading like this,

I have a lady in her late 50s,i feel her as a mother type figure,she is giving me the name Michelle,can you relate to this?
This is where the medium establishes a link.

Chat later.

This sucks.

I feel I could have prevented this.

reply to post by foreshadower99

You didn't contribute to anything.
Obviously he believes someone can help him.
What does your opinion matter?
Get out.

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman


First, let me say that I too am sorry for your loss. I can't believe some of the first couple of comments on here!!!

If you like to read, I would suggest reading "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton. His next book after that is "Destiny of Souls". I have read both and it has really changed my way of thinking of things. I think it would help you right now. They are enjyable to read and once you start you won't want to put them down.

Your mom will always be with you! If you haven't had any signs yet, watch for subtle little things. Sometimes when we are feeling so much grief we don't notice that our loved ones are trying to get our attention.

Hang in there. You will always have that void, but with time the pain should deminish more and more.

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman


It is very difficult to answer the questions that you are asking without having the whole story but even then you are probably the only one that will find the answers. I am sorry that you have to go through this and I understand that you are looking for answers. The best advice that anyone could offer you would be to stay strong and know that you can't change what has happened. The worst thing you can do is have regrets or blame yourself for not doing things differently. Most of us have our own beliefs when it comes to death. Try not to abandon what you believe in no matter how confusing it may seem. That terrible empty feeling is normal for anyone that has lost someone they care deeply for. If it gets really difficult try being the one in the family that is there to support your other family members. You would be surprised how much it will help you get through it if you concentrate on being there for everyone else.
I have been where you are now and know what it feels like but my life continued and yours will too. It will not be easy but you will manage. Focus on what your mom would want for you. How she would want you to continue to love her but find a way to be happy and make her proud. That is the wonderful thing about moms. They just want you to be happy.
I wish you the best and hope you find the strength to overcome this obstacle in your life.

May G_D rest her soul.
Those of us who are Christian, being baptized, truly believe that we will return and be immortal.
My prayers are with you.

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman


I can sense your pain, and im truly sorry for your loss. It hurts so bad, I know.
Sometimes its hard to know what to do with the pain. Look after yourself, be gentle to yourself. The hurt will pass, given time - then you will have the fond memories without that cruel stab of pain.
No one is ever lost while memories exist.
Take care x

Sending you my deepest condolences....most of what I would say has already been said. Just be, there are no rules to follow here, just do what comes naturally. Never question or compare yourself to anyone else.
Above all else, talk about your Mum....talk to her....tell people it's OK to talk about her too.
You have got a life time of memories to cherish and one day, this will give you the strength to smile again.

I believe in time, you will get answers, things will become clearer. Things may only click, weeks or months after happening.

Hope you are finding comfort from the majority here.

I can't answer any of your questions, but I note that you want someone to tell your mother that you love her.

If this is preying on your mind, maybe you hadn't told her for a while, you can be assured that she would have been very aware of how much you loved her.

She would have been as sensitive to being loved as you are and wouldn't have needed to be told. You will have done many small things that she would have appreciated and taken as a demonstration of your love for her.

As to your questions about the manner of her passing, you need to find the right people to ask. It may be painful for the family to explain anything to you, but knowing the truth will be far less painful for you than having these doubts about what happened - whatever the truth is. So ask anyone who can give you facts: family, police or doctors.

I had a bereavement a few weeks ago and wrote all my feelings down. I always advise people to do that, whether it's a broken relationship or the death of a loved one. It helps. You need to get some of that grief out. Once you start writing you'll be amazed at the depth of your feelings but at least you'll 'see' them. Some of what your write may be unexpected, but it's a way of coping. And you do need some coping mechanisms.

I'd echo the advice that other people have given you - be wary of going to a medium. Besides they can't all be trusted, for your own sake it may be better if you let go a little bit. I'm not saying that to be harsh, and I know it's far easier said than done, but you can't afford to have this become an obsession.

Also, your mother has gone through a transition and may need a little time to adjust. If you can keep your thoughts calm and loving towards her, she will benefit. And she won't need anyone else to tell her what she already knows and what you can still convey to her all by yourself.

Don't be afraid to grieve, but give yourself a break. Try and find things to do that make you happy to try and counterbalance the immense sadness you're feeling. Your old favourite activities may seem hollow and pointless at first, but gradually having something to do will help. It's too great a strain to be grieving all the time.

Remember, too, that your family may need you to help with their grief. You being around with a kind word or willing to share a small memory will mean a lot to them.

reply to post by John_Rodger_Cornman


Your loss is indeed great: I wish to apologize for those who felt the need to post here and disrupt. Or was it more than that? I do believe there are many in this world that actually have no heart. Or they do and only ice water flows through it.
You will not know the answer to some of your questions for a while.
Real love as you mention need not be spoken. The ones you love know of it.
You most likely could not have prevented it, and she wanted you to know that she indeed did love you. Of course this part you already were aware of I am sure. Love is always known. It is good to speak of it, but it is always known.

anyway I recently lost my father. Three time wounded vet of the Korean war. Kind, gentle, loving. I miss him deeply. Time may go slow but it does not stop, and time will heal. I think leaving this life is a little like a beam of light. Travels faster than one can perceive. It carries one to a destination not known in an instant, and it is not well understood. What I do know is that there will be a day when you will once again unite with those you love.
Do your best to dwell on those you love now. Enjoy them; spend time with them; In so doing it will ease your pain just a little. but keep in mind; It isn't pain you are actually experiencing; It is pure love. for if you had no love you would not feel any pain for the loss you have just experienced. Ineed it was your love for this person that has triggered your feelings.
Dwell on your love.
God Bless
DH

4 years ago I was very sick on my last day of radiation treatment my sister who was 37 died of a massive heart attack. I have survivors guilt. I always felt it should have been me.She always seemed so healthy and full of life it seemed that it wasn't fair for her to be gone and me still here. Over the years i've gone through many emotions from guilt to disbeilief and from there anger at her for having the nerve to up and die (i know crazy but its how i felt) and then such despair and loss of my faith in god and all that i thought i believed in this world. Now I feel like I have finally come to terms with it. i miss her so much but I also revel in the memory of her. I will lie in bed at times and tell her all I feel and dream and hope for this helps me feel close to her. She left behind 2 wonderful girls who I am raising and remind me daily of her. Do not squash your feeling you must go through them in order to heal. I would encourage you to look in to your heart for the answers you seek and if you wish to tell her you love her just picture her in your mind and tell her I will love you for always and forever. I wish you peace and happiness in the future my friend.

Jeeeebuz, some of the sheerly cold blooded and soulless insensitive types, to respond to something like this. Just proves what I said and said again in other threads about those 'people' with dead amygdala areas. The psychologists are wrong, they are not one in every 25, they are one for every one empathic.

Methinks it's time to unleash the super bio weapon on the dead amydalas, for the zombie apocalypse. (Wish wish wish wish wish wish.....)

I'm so sorry for your loss, I have sympathy for you.

Don't let anyone tell you that when people are dead they are done and gone, it ain't true. what a horrid heartless thing to say to the bereaved.

I don't know what I'm more ashamed of today. To be an American, or be with this site.