Okay, here it goes, my first "Rant," I need advice on how to control my emotions and live life mor

Two words:

Rebound sex

Stop talking and thinking about controlling emotion - it doesn't really work.. The way to feel better, to lose the anger and resentment and sadness and whatever else is to allow yourself to feel it. Wallow in it (but don't allow yourself to act in any self destructive ways such as, for example, violence towards yourself or others).. Punch a bag, write down exactly what you think and feel, watch movies or listen to music or read books that make you feel even more depressed... and after a couple days of this, you'll have exhausted those emotions, and you'll feel better. The reason most people hurt so badly for so long is because they don't want to feel the pain, to descend all the way into it. You'll be surprised how quickly you'll feel better if you just let yourself wallow.

Then, when you're feeling less angry, less upset, go out and do something that makes you happy, whether it's getting laid, getting drunk, going for a 20 mile run, whatever it is, find your happy again. It's only when we take the time to really experience our emotions that we can move past them.

Controlling them may work for a while, but ultimately those repressed feelings will come around and bite you in the ass. I know for myself, I don't stay depressed or upset or angry for long, because I allow myself to rant, or to hole up in my room by myself for a few days with movies and books that make me cry. When I come out? I feel like you do after a good rainstorm.. the world may not be sunny again yet, but it's calm and peaceful and quiet.

reply to post by Unvarnished


Other thing i would say is that in my exp, when you are looking for something, it never comes along. When you are not lookinbg for anything and are happily going through life, that is when things tend to happen, probably because more people see that you have got it together and people like that, and want to know more about you.

Good luck

Originally posted by Unvarnished
Everyone's posts is really helping out here, thanks a lot everyone for taking the to actually read what I had to say. I guess the best thing for me is to figure out what is going on with my life first before I can commit to someone else. I just wish I had more free time to myself.

No and yes. First off anger can be a powerful tool if used correctly the trick is not letting it turn on your self then it becomes sadness. The world has lied to you about anger, It can make you better, stronger, and more self reliant. I know i sound like darth sidious right now but emotion is what drives us. There is no way to completely shut it down. I don't mean beat people up or hate everything that moves channel your anger your frustration into the things you don't like about your self "caution only the things you can change" and push your self to beat them. DESTROY what makes you weak! Dont go all "i need to work on my self before i can commit crap" You did commit she didn't! Screw her!! And don't lie to your self it breeds weakness. You are not a delicate flower your a man take what you want if you see her a year from now and your in the same position you will feel the same way. dont cheat dont take roids or drugs to kill the pain. You feel alone go out and talk to women put yourself out their if that doesn't work which it will workout for every no =100 pushups ,100 situps run a mile. sooner or later you will get a yes

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Thanks a lot dude, words of wisdom might I say, I guess its just the entire process an experience that I am going through. Hope all is well

Originally posted by brommas
reply to post by Unvarnished

 

Other thing i would say is that in my exp, when you are looking for something, it never comes along. When you are not lookinbg for anything and are happily going through life, that is when things tend to happen, probably because more people see that you have got it together and people like that, and want to know more about you.

Good luck

So many people have told me that, and you know, I failed to listen to them, I guess this is good experience for me because I'll be able to learn about what is actually going on with the situation. Thanks a lot for your kind and helpful words man, hope all is well and you have a kickass 4th of July

reply to post by Unvarnished

The main thing is, how can I control the anger and resentment I feel towards my ex-gf, who I never want to see again, I've heard this saying, that says the best revenge is living well, but sometimes its very hard for me to act on it. Can anyone help?

Get a new girlfriend, though be warned at the end of the day all are alike, the only thing that is different is the circumstances of there being, and your being.

The truth is in this existence the only love possible is self love, and so love yourself and move on as they say. Do your thing and really all the base things is what it comes down to when it comes to females. So get money, get shiny car, get a cool pad, and then you wont have any problems with the ladies.

" You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you'll never lose women chasing money. "

All is an illusion, and when you find somebody that shares your illusions then you have found your way or what you want. But unfortunately eventually all illusions will break under the right circumstances and yes all love is conditional and circumstantial. So just like all illusions will break under the right circumstances, so to it is with all love.

Really as we move toward the different plains of dimensions all that you know will fall apart, and this to will cease to exist one day. But I wouldn't worry about it pretty much all people alive today will be long gone when that time comes but in a couple of generations ya expect this illusion to really fall apart, and its already starting to happen today in baby steps.

Things change, and all will wake eventually, so strive to enjoy the roller-coaster ride you call life.

“We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.”.... William Somerset Maugham

Like everything else, love is but a shared illusion.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


I wouldn't be surprised if love is a mental illusion, I mean one thing is for sure, Plato said that love is a serious mental disease, I'll definitely agree with that lmao.

Yeah I'm not finding a new girlfriend for awhile, I actually really enjoy being single, I have so much more free time to myself for reading this website =D

I'll echo what Innanamute had to say - that really can be a lot of help.

Writing down your feelings especially helps.

Be careful about finding someone else just to help you get over your ex-girlfriend. A few weeks or months down the line you could find yourself giving someone the same sort of excuses to break up as those that hurt you so much. I'm glad you don't seem too keen on going down that route

That line about you being too good or whatever it was - take that as the truth. I was told that and I couldn't get my head around it. Not for a very long time. Then one day, the clouds started to clear a bit and I had a good look at myself. Then I remembered back to my ex-partner. Hmmmm......... yep, I was too good Whether or not it was said sincerely, I'll never know. But it's true. I'm guessing it's true for you, too.

You can't make someone compatible with you, so don't feel angry and resentful. A clean break now really could save a lot of heartache and headache in future years.

Controlling emotions isn't too difficult, if you let them run their course. If 'their course' seems to be dragging on a bit, you can learn to put the brakes on. And never, ever give in to anger and act on it. Give yourself time to calm down. What seems like a good idea when you're hopping mad never looks so good when you're in a better frame of mind.

I rarely get angry, if I feel a bit miffed ( ) I ask myself what I'm going to do about the situation. If the answer is 'nothing' then I have no right to be angry. I'll only hurt myself if I get into that frame of mind. If, however, I find that I am intending to do something about whatever has made me angry, I'll think it through and act in the best way possible to secure a good result.

I'm not perfect, if yelling at someone seems to be the best solution, I'll yell. I'm good at it - but, generally speaking it doesn't resolve things much. It just makes the other person resentful and then you're in a cycle of: you hurt me - I yelled - you're fed up with me - now I have to worry about you retaliating - etc. etc.

Best to deal with things in a more productive way, usually.

Don't let your ex know how you're feeling. Stay away, you don't want to be tempted to get into a drawn out discussion about it all. Although, did she really send you an email to end your relationship? That should tell you a lot about the sort of person she is. Really, not worth you feeling this bad over.

There is no magic to make this kind of thing go away. The best way to move on is to keep busy.

Its different for everyone but I like good, mind numbing exercise. Its win win. You get in better shape and are too tired to lay in bed thinking about it all night.

reply to post by Unvarnished

I wouldn't be surprised if love is a mental illusion, I mean one thing is for sure, Plato said that love is a serious mental disease, I'll definitely agree with that lmao.

Its all an illusion dude, that's why they fear going past or doing anything that would be over there power, because they fear breaking the illusion, because it is a small and frail thing.

As to Plato, he is right but you wouldn't want to go there. You would not survive, on some scopes from on high what they call love on this planet is really anything but love, and is not considered love when looked from certain perspectives.

But you will get over it, like I said do your own thing for a while, and eventually you will find someone and trust you me, you will get over it and fast.

reply to post by berenike


Thanks a lot for your advice, its really helping! I definitely see where you are coming from, I am taking this as a learning experience to mature myself, I am not planning on looking for another girl for awhile because I feel like it would be unfair to the next chick that comes along.

I think my problem was that I got too controlling at times, but its something I have to work on. I guess my brain is just coming up with rationalizations to an emotional situation which is not good. Yeah I dropped all contacts with her, she did end the relationship with an email, however, the reason being because I am very far away and there was no way to actually contact her. I mean getting dumped through skype would be pretty awful right lmao.

But yeah I hear ya, it ended with an email, there really wasn't much I could do. But I am feeling a lot better, knowing that there are other chicks out there. I am just in the state of mind that I don't want to betray myself and just give in to getting back with her again. I just hate that the brain is playing tricks on me and idealizing her like crazy, but little by little I am trying to control it and tell myself that she isn't perfect and I need to take her off that pedestal.

Thanks a lot for the comment.

reply to post by FreeSpeaker


I see that your location is reality, that's somewhere I need to get to right now lmao

reply to post by Unvarnished


You've got your head screwed on straight - you'll get through this

It's good you're taking it all as a learning experience, that's the best way.

Good luck to you.

reply to post by berenike


I'm doing a lot better, I'm just glad as hell I still have my pride lol

reply to post by Unvarnished


I'm glad to hear it

In the end, I think it was my pride that saved me. I had to be honest and admit that, as well as my heart, it was my pride that took a battering when the relationship was ended by someone other than me

My pride was the thing that helped scrape me off the floor. Not too much of it, but enough to make me want to secure my dignity.

Testing times, but there does come a day when you have to admit, even if it takes wild horses to drag the confession out of you, that you've become a stronger person for the experience.