Okay, here it goes, my first "Rant," I need advice on how to control my emotions and live life mor

The one thing I love about this website is that I can post something and I can freely ask the opinions on everyone else on this website. Can anyone tell me how they control their emotions to do their bidding? I seem to have problems controlling myself every time I feel pain especially after a break up, is there a more rational way I can go by getting over a girl, I hate moping around dwelling on a chick, I'm not that type of person, I know it makes me human but damn women gets the best of men sometimes and its a pain in the ass.

I know its impossible to get over a breakup really fast but I don't know how other people manage to do it. What is the trick to becoming wise and moving on after a break up, especially controlling my anger and being hurt. Can anyone tell me? I would really like to know the secret, I am willing to learn and not get prideful anymore, I know people out here have it 10000x more than me and there is no point in complaining.

Your thoughts? I'm still in my 20s and being in medical school is also crazy, adding more stress to my life than I already have, I just really want to become more rational, and especially controlling my emotions and not let chicks get the best of me because I know it happens. I am actually a happy, funny person whose always outgoing, but sometimes I dwell at night about I can change myself to become more rational, and especially more wise in choosing girls.

The main thing is, how can I control the anger and resentment I feel towards my ex-gf, who I never want to see again, I've heard this saying, that says the best revenge is living well, but sometimes its very hard for me to act on it. Can anyone help? Thanks a lot and I hope everyone is having a kick ass July 4th, just watch out for fireworks and not burn anyone.

Think of her taking a fatass diarrhea.. I can't vouch for how well this will work

Maybe try thinking that you are better than her and she's nothing without you.. Seems to work well for the dbags I know

Originally posted by mb2591
Think of her taking a fatass diarrhea.. I can't vouch for how well this will work

That's disgusting but at the same time that's hilarious ahhahahahahaha good one lmfao

Originally posted by mb2591
Maybe try thinking that you are better than her and she's nothing without you.. Seems to work well for the dbags I know

I guess I'm gonna take her advice she wrote in the break up email, that I deserve someone better than her, although I hate it when chicks write that # it pisses me off man. It's like their giving you pity and don't want to make you feel like #. It's so stupid and retarded.

Someone told me the key to getting over someone is to get under someone else.

Just a thought.

The answer to your problems is easy.

Deny Ignorance...

Originally posted by choppedbrisket
Someone told me the key to getting over someone is to get under someone else.

Just a thought.

I approve of this message.

reply to post by Unvarnished

Try a bit of varnish, just joking. Have a look at NVC it stands for non violent comunication, its a great simple way of getting to know yourself and others in a very down to earth way.

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I have found this useful, but dont forget its just a tool!!!

Originally posted by iSwag
The answer to your problems is easy.

Deny Ignorance...

edit on 3-7-2011 by iSwag because: swag

Dude, I swear to God, this simple philosophical comment just turned on a light bulb in my head. Thank you so much.

Originally posted by Unvarnished

Originally posted by iSwag
The answer to your problems is easy.

Deny Ignorance...

edit on 3-7-2011 by iSwag because: swag

Dude, I swear to God, this simple philosophical comment just turned on a light bulb in my head. Thank you so much.

Oh come on, I don't get a star!

Just playin You're most def welcome

Take the time. You will move on.

reply to post by iSwag


Just clicking the top left button gets you a star right? Yeah bro you got one, that was awesome idk I'm feeling mad good right now lmao

Give yourself time to grieve, over emotion is part of the process. Don't get too heated hurting yourself or others! You'll get to a point where you'll feel "I'm better off" and that will help make you move on.

reply to post by Unvarnished


I have been told that. what i did was buy p90x worked out for and went back to school when she saw me again i was built and was about to get a high paying job. I had on a nice suit, i bleached my teeth cause im a smoker and had my hair cut recently. She showed up with her new boyfriend the dude was covered in tattoos and acted like a d-bag. She came up and asked me how i was doing then my friend chimed in and told her i was about to get a job that pays really well i didn't say a thing i just smiled.

then i proceeded to buy the hottest girl in the bar a drink. Amazingly she walked over and thanked me and introduced her self and her friends. I didn't check to see my exs reaction but i was told she became angry and she and her new boyfriend split after about 30 mins.

A week later at about ten at night she shows up at my door asking to talk i let her into my new apartment with my new TV and new sofa. She proceeds to talk my ear off for about an hour, she flirted,she cried about her boyfriend,she apologized to me. In an amazing twist of fate i had got that hot girls number at the bar and she and I had been hooking up for about 3 or 4 days and i hear a knock. I open the door and there she is looking wow hot. i let her in and the look on my ex's face was priceless she got up and said goodbye and walked out the door. Karma is a funny thing the best way to control your emotions is to use them productively instead of dwelling on them

Right lets look at why your angry...
Your angry because your ex girlfriend has ended this relationship and with such a lame excuse, your wondering why?, whats wrong with me. No one ever tells their partner the truth of why they are being dumped.
The pain comes in a form of loss, loss of sharing times, words and sex.
That's all this emotion is telling you. So to get rid of the pain of loss, you get busy.
As humans, we have the ability to love many people and partners.
Love is a fickle thing. It's too easy to say I love you. When really it's just a relationship and I'm trying you out for size.
These feelings are for your benefit, they make you more aware of yourself and the emotional needs you want from life.
So my lovely, get busy, understand why you have these emotions, understand that most relationships are a try out of 2 personalities and if it doesn't work, it's not because of you.

reply to post by Unvarnished

"You have to be ONE - before you can be TWO"

If you are only in your 20s and in med school - - there is no way you are ONE yet.

Emotions are internal - not external. No one makes you feel but yourself.

Why would you even consider anything beyond a "friend with benefits" at this point in your life. You are in no position to be emotionally involved in anything - except maybe a gold fish.

If you do not feel complete just being you - - - you've got bigger problems. Get some professional help.

Everyone's posts is really helping out here, thanks a lot everyone for taking the to actually read what I had to say. I guess the best thing for me is to figure out what is going on with my life first before I can commit to someone else. I just wish I had more free time to myself.

reply to post by Unvarnished


Firstly, you have to feel the pain, it is how you learn. If you were to get over them more quickly and just deny your feelings, i can tell you that you will become a complete emotional retard eventually(dont ask me how i know lol)

Try just going with the flow, if they are truly people you care / cared for, then it will hurt, it is natural, but at the same time, perhaps restricting the amount of time that you spend thinking about the person, may help, say give yourself 10 minutes every morning where you think about her, then switch off for a bit and enagage your brain in some other avenue of thought. With time and practise it will help.

Also try and fill your spare time with activites that you enjoy and dont just live for your g/f all the time, get some variety and you will find yourself alot happier, remember each of us are individuals, we sometimes think we like something and then a month or 2 down the line decide we dont, it is natural we all grow in different ways.

You sound like a nice guy to me, just be yourself and you will be fine.

reply to post by dreamingawake


I hear ya, you're definitely right, I think the best thing for me is to just focus on myself for now and not get too seriously involved with someone for awhile maybe until later in life. Thanks a lot for everything!