A woman's "right" to have a child

He should go get a vasectomy now, before it is too late and she "forgets" to take her BC pill.

I think he should get the hell out of there. If she's dead set on a kid, she's already attempted emotional manipulation, using others in the social circle, etc--he can't trust her no not get pregnant...and it CAN be done nefariously. Then he has no rights, and becomes her slave...regardless of his life choices.

Yes, she has a right to a child, but no, not with him. He has the right to NOT have a child, the question is does he have the brains to realize the peril he's in?

Having just read most of the posts, including the one saying the man would be financially responsible even if the child was not his, I can only advise the man to get out now.

Originally posted by ldyserenity
She should file for divorce and go to a clinic and get inseminated screw the dirtbag!!

WOW! he is a dirt bag for just not wanting children? My son and his wife agreed before marriage they didn't want children.
He was in love and engaged to another woman years earlier then this one and found she wanted for sure a lot of kids, he left as painful as it was because it was very important to him..he does not enjoy chlidren and never has wanted any, it is a life long obligation and every single thing that happens to your children or in their lifes effects you too. So if his wife of 10 years suddenly changed her mind that would make him a dirt bag because he hasn't changed his?

I think a whole lot of people decide at the last minute they need to have kids because it is the thing everyone does, their friends say "oh you don't have any kids?' like it is a sad and painful thing, it is one more way we are all so sheep like...everyone has em I need them too! don't want to be left out or different do we?

Originally posted by ldyserenity

Originally posted by Aeons
Why would you think he is a dirbag?

He entered into a relationship where he expected that he and she were on the same page about this issue. That's about as good as you are going to get.

She changed. He hasn't.

Neither is a worse person for it.

Well there's those vows you know isn't there something to honor and to cherish? If she wants to have a child, honor her wishes or GTFO(set her free)! Most of the time this kind of thing is because the man talked her into agreeing with those terms or else, no wedding for you dear. Men are a manipulative bunch, she wants children now = she always wanted to, but she was bending to his will, which means he = manipulative dirtbag! But she is free to divorce and go have her child and raise it as a single parent. He is selfish. Why anyone would actually say they didn't want to have children and bend to someone elses' will; well there is many different reasons she may have:
1) she thought he was the best she was going to land
2) Money
Or 3) The sex was good and she was hooked.
She bent to his wishes and married for the wrong reasons simple as that, some people simply settle for less and that is sad.

edit on 2-2-2011 by ldyserenity because: space bar is being retarded today!

edit on 2-2-2011 by ldyserenity because: SPELLING

edit on 2-2-2011 by ldyserenity because: clarification

You have made so many assumptions about this womanI am wondering if you ARE her? if now again WOW how can you make so many assumptions about someone you don't know!
It is discusting when people think of having children just to use them, want them to be there for me when i get old etc!

I would say that Wanda does have a right to have a child if she so chooses.....BUT......Wanda does not have the right to have Rob's child if he refuses. If Rob is adamant that he does not want a child Wanda will have to accept this answer but whether their relationship will survive this 'hang up' is between them alone.

If i were you i would stay out of this as this could end in a big mess, just some friendly advice.

She has a right to get pregnant. She doesn't have a right to get pregnant by whoever she's with or married to. That's a privilege. She can't make him do anything he doesn't want to.

I think I need a new mouse...

reply to post by Jkd Up


She certainly has the ability to have a child and in a free society the right to do so.

She does not, however have the right to force her husband to father a child.

She also has the right to involve her friends and her husband's friends into a most intimate and serious matter, something that is offensive to the friends in question and disrespectful to the husband. The level of immaturity of someone who enlist friends in a hope to push someone into being a father underscores real problems.

Who cares about her "clock ticking"? My guess is that this guy has a clock ticking too and that is the clock ticking until he is looking to retire after likely 35+ years of working. I'm doubting that he has been thinking or likely planning to have a small child at this stage of his life nor sign up for a college education when he's in his 60s. If her clock is ticking that loudly, she should leave the relationship.

If this gent was a friend of mine I would tell him to cut her loose immediately. If he was unwilling to do that, I would tell him to get a vastectemy immediately. He has a "right" to do that as well. I would absolutely tell him to take his own steps regarding birth control immediately.

I understand how women can gin up a ton of sympathy on this issue and have seen it a number of times. In reality, the person in this scenario who deserves sympathy is the man.

When you get a vasectomy they ask "how many kids you've had" and if both parties consent. We had our two kids.( snip snip).

reply to post by Jkd Up


No woman has the right to force a male to impregnate her--just like no male has the right to make a female carry his child. Pregnancy and child rearing are choices that need to be agreed upon by both parties; end of story. If she doesn't like that Rob is not ready to have a child then she has an obvious other choice: leave. I know it may be more complicated than that but in all actuality that's what this all boils down to. We all have the individual agency make these important choices in our life.

reply to post by ZindoDoone


To clarify: That was a quote of 1088no5's post that I quoted because I felt it was worth emphasis. Just wanted to give credit where it is due.

If he is that adament about not having a child he should perhaps get a vascetomy. Many men do this to prevent being "trapped" by a woman. As far as her "right" to a child, I think that yes, if she can get pregnant then she certainly has the right to her child. The main thing here is that she clearly believes she has a right to a child. I'm sure he feels he has a right to decide not to have a child. It's a dillema to have this big of a deal thrown at you when for so long you believed that your spouse agreed with you, but people do change their minds as time goes on. Using friends to wear him down and to try to get him to change his mind? I wouldn't want to be that friend to help her cause, I'd just as soon stay out of it, it's really a decision only the two of them can make.

Of course she has the right to have a child, but she does not have the right to his sperm.

She can't make him do anything he doesn't want to.

reply to post by Mizzijr


Oh yes, she can! If they are married she can force him to pay child support at the risk of jailtime. Whether she goes off and gets pregnant by some other man, or tricks him into it. Either way he pays. He should be warned.

reply to post by DogsDogsDogs and 1088


Woops, sorry folks, Didn't mean to step on any toes. It was a perfect point and I just wanted to agree and get my 2 cents into the mix!
Zindo

Women have a privilege and responsibility to "have a child, not a "right" to breed multiple times!!! It is NOT "right" to bring a child into a world full of drugs, sex and violence. A woman's "right" is best supported when the child is conceived with "love" and with the intention of taking care of the life.

Isn't the main reason for marriage to become a family. IMO if rob was serios about never wanting kids he would have a vacestomy years ago.

The main problem I see is that Wanda has a small window of opportunity left. What if in a few years down the track Rob changes his mind, leaves childless wanda and re-marries, has kids.

Not that it is any of my business, but......I'd like to know rob's reasons for not wanting kids.

I think we have to step back and think here.

1. They both said they wanted a relation ship without kids. And they both consented to this agreement.

2. She has now "later" changed her mind and wants a child anyway. That is a breach of joint agreement based on their relationship. They now have a joint conflict in their relationship.

--- A relationship is based on joint agreements.

3. If He does not want to breach their joint agreement of not having a child. He has the full right not to do so.

Since she wants to make changes to their joint agreements, which their relationship is based on initially. She has to renegotiate to get him to agree or break out of their relationship.

She has no right to force him to have a child against he's will. By any means.

reply to post by Jkd Up


If this woman has changed her agreement with this partner per having children, if the man is still adamant that he doesn't want to be a father, (which is his RIGHT TO DECIDE), then this woman should end this relationship and find a new partner who wants children.
If she forces this particular man to become a father, through either stealth or force, then she has impinged on his natural right to happiness, which I believe is a constitutional right in America?

If I was male and the partner of this woman, I would be running a thousand miles.
Or seeking a woman whose life expectations matched my own.