Who cares about her "clock ticking"?
I'm a 37 year old woman. I never wanted to have kids. I don't particularly like kids. I live a nice life. I travel, I go out to nice places, I have
nice things, A job I enjoy, friends ect; I'm in a relationship with a man significantly younger then me and have been for the last five years ( He's
22). We agreed from the beginning that we did not want children.
In the last year, my clock has been ticking so freaking loud I can barely hear myself think. It is beyond my control.I feel compelled to have sex (
this is beyond normal libido it's scarily strong). It's been very hard, because mentally, I do not want children and neither does he..but
physically..I seem to be compelled to reproduce!
A few weeks ago I got pregnant. I was dismayed, but somehow I was also euphoric. We discussed termination and he indicated that he wanted me to
terminate. I would not go through with it without his support, so we went to bed, our decision made.. next day he tells me that he LOVES ME and that
he felt that I would regret a termination, and that he loved me enough to stand by me and be a father. Yes it would be hard, yes we would not be
going on holidays, or dinner parties ( I know this sounds selfish..but this is the reality of our lives..we have each other, and full and fulfilling
lives without children, having them would CHANGE our lives)..but together, and because we love each other deeply, he would stand by me.
When you love someone, sometimes you sacrifice your own wants/needs/desires/ to make them happy. Because their happiness adds to your own. I have
never loved him more then that day he sacrificed his own wants for me.
Sadly, a few days later I miscarried, he stood by me every step of the way. Turns out my uterus will probably never carry a child to term,
additionally my eggs are weak, so the possibility of getting pregnant again are slim without intervention . I was gutted, as was he as we had accepted
it was going to happen and were making the best of it. So now we leave up to fate, we continue our lives and if it happens it happens, if it doesn't
I guess what I am trying to say is, do not underestimate the biology behind a woman's "need" to have a child. It is strong and compulsive.
Secondly, the advice for the man in the OPs scenario to dump his wife and run, is wrong. If you love someone, your needs and desires can sometimes
take a backseat to someone else's. Isn't love all about giving...?