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Originally posted by Whiffer Nippets
The guy should run!
As a Child Free female I am disturbed by how much of the responses here seem to negate the man's feelings and promote children.
Some people do not want kids and would not be happy nor effective as parents.
Respect their choice.
Originally posted by ldyserenity
He should love, honor, and cherish her, but he doesn't that much is obvious (hence my remark about him being a dirtbag). ...I never wanted kids my partner did, because I loved him I gave him what Gifts I could, the Children that he wanted. I am not even married to him!!! Together for 17 yrs in August. If you love someone you make those compromises. I do love and cherish my boyfriend, and I didn't even take those vows, also I do not resent my children and love them very much.
And if he really loved her he would not dismiss her so easily. If she was stronger she'd simply give him the ultimatum---family or divorce. Neither one is acting very adult at this point. It's more like "I am in control, My way, WHAAAAA!" IMO. Maybe he didn't outwardly manipulate her like I stated it might have gone like this: Him"I dont want any children" But it isn't always WHAT you say but HOW you say it and she picked up that cue and said what she knew he wanted to hear. Sometimes people don't even realize that they are saying something in a certain tone that could be a cue to another person subconciously. ...They should be adult and talk it out and re-evaluate their lives both seperately and relationship. Maybe they would get somewhere then. I could be wrong but the impression I got from the OP (the feeling or vibe) is what the first thing I stated in this thread. That he's just simply being bullheaded, kind of feeling he's a control freak but I cannot prove this. Just the impression I am picking up, and that's all I can say about that very first post I made. If I am wrong oh well. That's just the impression I got. And that she maybe wasn't straightforward on the onset of the relationship.
Originally posted by Merigold
A few weeks ago I got pregnant. I was dismayed, but somehow I was also euphoric. We discussed termination and he indicated that he wanted me to terminate. I would not go through with it without his support, so we went to bed, our decision made.. next day he tells me that he LOVES ME and that he felt that I would regret a termination, and that he loved me enough to stand by me and be a father. Yes it would be hard, yes we would not be going on holidays, or dinner parties ( I know this sounds selfish..but this is the reality of our lives..we have each other, and full and fulfilling lives without children, having them would CHANGE our lives)..but together, and because we love each other deeply, he would stand by me.
When you love someone, sometimes you sacrifice your own wants/needs/desires/ to make them happy. Because their happiness adds to your own. I have never loved him more then that day he sacrificed his own wants for me.
Sadly, a few days later I miscarried, he stood by me every step of the way. Turns out my uterus will probably never carry a child to term, additionally my eggs are weak, so the possibility of getting pregnant again are slim without intervention . I was gutted, as was he as we had accepted it was going to happen and were making the best of it. So now we leave up to fate, we continue our lives and if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.
I guess what I am trying to say is, do not underestimate the biology behind a woman's "need" to have a child. It is strong and compulsive.
Secondly, the advice for the man in the OPs scenario to dump his wife and run, is wrong. If you love someone, your needs and desires can sometimes take a backseat to someone else's. Isn't love all about giving...?
Originally posted by korathin
reply to post by Jkd Up
The west is a social matriarchy, so women think they are entitled to everything while men are entitled to nothing.
Women get rights while men get responsibility. After the White Knights and Mangina's begin to die out and become fewer and fewer the world is going to be an interesting place.
Originally posted by Aeons
Ah, you are another man who is oppressed by not being allowed to oppress women. You've been denied by law your "natural right" to legally make women into chattel. I feel for you man. Getting over a sense of God Like Entitlement must be real tough. Worse than meth.
Originally posted by andy1033
reply to post by Aeons
If you saw what females have done to my life, you would not even post your anti male stuff.
Females are all sweetness and oh they never kill any innocent person, lol. Yep right.
Originally posted by Aeons
reply to post by korathin
You aren't allowed to work? You aren't allowed to play? You aren't allowed to go to school? You get the bones when women get the meat? You married off at 9? Are you denied health care? Human rights? A bank account?
You're a WUSS. You're oppressed by COMPETITION, because you can't bring it. Take your bat and go home.
Originally posted by sonnny1
Wow!!! Feminism at its finest! I for one dont mind if a women wants equality. I believe we all should live,and work,and play on an equal field.
Heres a article I posted earlier. Play what card you want to play,it does hold some tidbits of info,I think you will find it interesting.
Winning men's active support for the ERA may be easier today. During recent years, men's consciousness about their own issues has been raised substantially and the momentum is upward. Men are growing aware of how the narrow gender-role conditioning they receive during society's indoctrination of them to become protectors and providers negatively affects both their emotional and physical health. They learn that, on average, men not only live 7 years less than women, but men's quality of life is reduced in trying to live up to this restrictive gender role.
Men are grieving, publicly and privately, for the loss of their fathers and their distance from their own children. They are learning how welfare rules and our father-negative "family" courts separate caring fathers from their children. They are dismayed by the contribution that fatherless families have to the increase in homeless and runaway children, and to teenage suicide, academic failure, drug abuse, violence and unwed pregnancy.
At the same time that women have control over their parenthood through abortion or adoption, men's reproductive rights are either ignored or condescendingly dismissed. Men lack the "right to choose" legal fatherhood, but have the responsibility of financial support. Further, men have no corresponding right to either custody or noncustodial access to their children.
Gaining Equal Rights for Men