U.K. cleric: Rape is impossible within marriage

I thought this post had some humor and a lot of good points in it.

Sex is a part of most married relationships. If there are differences in the libido of the two people in the marriage this can be a difficult issue.

Personally, I think that if a person is repeatedly saying no, then there is a problem in the relationship that goes deeper than they both may realize. An occasional no is no big thing. If it occurs most of the time, perhaps that relationship is over and the participants just don't realize it.

Here is my friends view of sex and marriage.
Before they tie the knot... Sex all the time.
After the marriage sex not so often, kids , jobs, bills etc.
Ten years into the marriage... Sex consists of passing each other in the hall and saying FU

reply to post by Wildbob77


OK, so I read that out to my mother, LOL. She nearly choked and then laughed so hard she had to wipe her eyes, and said, its too bad, but, this is probably true for many people.
This is something that needs to change, and currently I don't even think marriage is the way, any more. What about, a larger property, like an eco farm, with 3 small homes clustered close together, like 3 yurts, his, hers and the kids?

reply to post by Unity_99


Actually, I'm one of the people that is pretty happy in my marriage.

I've been married over 30 years and I still love it.

reply to post by Wildbob77


She didn't say everyone, there are just quite a few like this. I'm happy to hear your relationship is wonderful, because this is how it should be, and for good matches, and a lot of work, it can be.

reply to post by Scarcer


Thank you for taking my comments into consideration and in a gracious manner. I'm a mom and babysitter and have hopes that when my boys and girls grow up they will continue to be as respectful and considerate of one another when they are adults and more conscious of their gender roles as they are now as simple playmates and co conspirators in driving me nuts. So I try when I get a chance and have a spare sane moment to participate in these types of discussions to facilitate positive communication and increased understanding between men and women.

I've been so blessed to know wonderful men who have amazing ladies in their lives. I have among my friends and family so many examples of how healthy relationships are affirming and enduring life influences. So I know we all can be good to one another if we communicate openly and try to rely less on incomplete assumptions about one another's issues and needs. As much as I would like to think I know about men from my more than twenty years of happy partnership with my husband, I realize I can never truly know what it is to be a man and when it comes to his word vs. my assumptions, I have to take his word no matter how entrenched my assumptions may have been or what my basis for them was.

I also know the injustices cut both ways. I do speak out on behalf of men. There was a time when the issue of circumcising male babies was a topic on a parenting board I used to frequent. Now I still don't know what to think of that topic but I do know that the simple fact that some women think an uncircumcised male anatomy is gross is NOT a valid reason to be pro circumcision. A woman has no possible way of understanding what a male goes through physically as a result of deciding one way or the other so just basing the decision on what a female finds more aesthetically pleasing is unfair, inhumane and downright sexist.

Here's how some of these marriages begin in the first place... It's not always agreement on "her" part.


Chechnya bridenapping to end


www.reuters.com...


Now give a shout out to all those overeager men dealing with low self-esteem issues.

reply to post by CAELENIUM

Oh...there's nothing wrong with me. I feel fine.

reply to post by SeenMyShare

Muslim men do not respect nor love their women.

Hard to believe you got so many stars for that post!

I seem to recall that one of the world's great wonders is actually a monument of love that a man had for his wife.

He was a Muslim man, Shah Jahan, and he built the Taj Mahal for his beloved Queen, Mumtaz Mahal, who had died.

I think that as a lot of posts here show, men in general these days don't have much respect for women anymore. Tons of reasons for it, but I wouldn't think that Muslim men are so different. Nor are they immune to love. It's just that real love is fairly rare, no matter what you believe, or where you happened to live.

JR

Originally posted by Americanist

"Clearly there cannot be any rape within the marriage," he told The Samosa website. "Maybe aggression, maybe indecent activity... Because when they got married, the understanding was that sexual intercourse was part of the marriage, so there cannot be anything against sex in marriage. "Of course, if it happened without her desire, that is no good, that is not desirable."

www.msnbc.msn.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

re-read what i made bold

Alora yes I agree.
if one of there men was rape't by a woman.
they would punisher.
so much shame for the pore man! LOL

Originally posted by bismos

Originally posted by Americanist

"Clearly there cannot be any rape within the marriage," he told The Samosa website. "Maybe aggression, maybe indecent activity... Because when they got married, the understanding was that sexual intercourse was part of the marriage, so there cannot be anything against sex in marriage. "Of course, if it happened without her desire, that is no good, that is not desirable."

www.msnbc.msn.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

re-read what i made bold

edit on 1-1-2011 by bismos because: (no reason given)

Tell that to the 12 year old girl sitting in prison right now for not bowing to the will of her arranged husband 62 years her senior. His family beat the crap out of her then had local authorities throw her in jail. Not a very desirable outcome, and yet the same scenario happens over and over again.

This doesn't surprise me one bit coming from Muslims.

You have to remember that their Prophet who they admire so much was a pedophile who had sex with a 9 year old.

Shame on them

Originally posted by buddha
Alora yes I agree.
if one of there men was rape't by a woman.
they would punisher.
so much shame for the pore man! LOL

How many men "can" be raped by a woman ? And how many of those men will ever admit it ? Its 1 in a billion odds.

Unless there are some serious pharmaceuticals and lots of restraints involved, it would be very very hard.

reply to post by Roufas


Yes indeed, you can indeed divorce your spouse for ANY reason, and incompatible sexuality is a legitimate reason.

And if one is having a moment of considering raping one's spouse to get some, it is time to consider divorce.

Because that's an option. A less repugnant one than forcibly inserting a part of your body into another person against their will.

One has to seriously wonder at the men who would be able to get it up in these situations.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by Americanist

 

It isn't rape, but it is certainly coercion. I don't apologize for it. Sex with your own wife should be a simple and beautiful thing. It should not be complicated and stressful!

Should that uncomplicated and not stressful and beautiful not apply to her as well? How "beautiful" do you think "duty" sex is?

Originally posted by Korg Trinity
I’m shocked and disgusted to come back to the thread and find there are other people that clearly have no idea what marriage is all about and think sex is the duty of the woman to provide to the male on demand.

There are some seriously screwed up opinions here in this thread and I ask you this.... Is there any wonder there are so many divorces in our modern era!!

You lot need to learn the satisfaction of what it is to make someone else happy!!!!

Korg.

edit on 15-10-2010 by Korg Trinity because: Spelling

Yeah, I gotta tell ya how unimpressed I am with the basic tone of "sex is between a man and the woman he's doing it to" attitude.

Originally posted by Americanist
Here's how some of these marriages begin in the first place... It's not always agreement on "her" part.

Now give a shout out to all those overeager men dealing with low self-esteem issues.

There are quite a few cases where men are forced into marriages as well by their families or by the family of their "brides" against their will.

But of course, we won't hear anything about that will we ?

Originally posted by Scarcer

Originally posted by Kailassa

Originally posted by getreadyalreadyOkay, I hate to sound rude, but, do you get out very often? Ever heard of BDSM? There's a pretty big chunk of the population, both males and females that get turned by both submitting and having power in sex.

The concept of "sick" is just a social indoctrination

edit on 15-10-2010 by Scarcer because: (no reason given)

edit on 15-10-2010 by Scarcer because: (no reason given)

BDSM and the associated kinks require a level of trust, and that the people involved have chosen to be so. It includes ways OUT. It has full stops. That you don't know this shows you haven't gotten out as much as you're letting on.

The marriage vow according to many:

"I vow to open up every hole you want at any time anywhere without restraint and on command regardless of circumstance, health, or time of the month so help me God. I Do."

Gosh guys, if you meant THAT as at your wedding don't you think you should have mentioned it at some point between asking her to marry you and actually marrying her?

Wouldn't it be cheaper to put a whore on retainer.....

Oh wait....you're suggesting your wives ARE personal whores on retainer.

I gotta tell ya....I'm certainly not be paid enough then.

reply to post by Kailassa


The lack of care and -uh- misuse of the female anatomy means that many more women are suffering from things like prolapse, and destruction of the muscles of the pelvis.

For the guys - having sex too early, having babies, having weak muscles, can make you slack and let your uterus and vagina fall out. Even your bowels. Women end up "tucking" them in. Lack of doctor care, and a general societal context which supports that you don't even own that part of your body, makes this far more common in these cultures.

Go ahead - imagine someone telling you that you had to have sex even if your urethra and prostate were hanging out after a long pee. Or your bowel distended down after a poop.

Duty. You gotta do it.