I Don't Have Any Friends...

I don't really have any freinds either, I guess its because I think so much, I know thinking to much is bad for you but I just can't tell my mind to stfu lol. I am always thinking about random stuff like when I am in traffic and I see someone in another car that I don't even know I just think about eveything that happend in his day to bring us together for that on second, was it fate? Was it preditermind?
These are the thinks I like to think about, instead of amusing another person I would rather wonder how things work and why things happen, I am a bit of an odd ball but I am not crazy lol

I choose to be a loner (well not a complete loner, I have a wonderful family)

i understand how you feel. i`m the same way. i`m surrounded by so many people but i have no connections with them. i used to be sad about, it still bothers me sometimes but i`m happy i`m this way. people like us have no emotional ties to this world because we don`t think along the same lines as them. dont bother changing yourself my friend accept who you are embrace it for it makes you special.

I am completely baffled that people are still spewing nonsense in this thread. Talk about waking up, people! WAKE UP! You are being hoaxed by reincarnated Jack the Ripper!

reply to post by AProphet1233

It is my opinion that most of the world's population are alone. Some people are thrown into their "aloneness" by circumstance and others choose to be alone. I think you would be surprised if you were to find out just how many ATS members are alone, either by situation or choice. You are not alone in your "aloneness", if that makes any sense. I am alone, not by choice but by circumstance. I am rarely able to leave my home and many times it feels like the world is simply passing me by. However, I have made the decision to make the best of my "aloneness" by joining ATS and other, similar web sites. (Really, there are no "similar" web sites, but you get my idea.) There are good people her on ATS. You have friends here; you have people telling you that they are interested in being your friend and they are interested in what you have to say. You have to make a decision to either act on these offers of friendship or to continue to be alone and friendless. If my words sound harsh, I am sorry, I don't mean for them to be.
Like others, I sincerely and honestly offer my friendship to you and pray that you take my offer seriously. I don't need to know your name, where you live, etc.; all I need is to hear your opinions and be able to respond to them. I will get to know you, just as you will get to know me. I, like others here, am very interested in your ideas and look forward to you sharing them. What I have learned from my "aloneness" is that, although I am alone, I do not have to be lonely. I believe that being lonely is a choice. I imagine that some will disagree with me. That's ok. Here, on ATS, we all have the same priviledge to voice our opinions, and IT IS OK if other don't agree. That doesn't mean that someone dislikes you; they just have different opinions. I take those differences of opinion and learn from them. I hope that you make the decision to no longer be alone, lonely and friendless and I really hope that you accept the many offers of friendship that have been given to you, including mine. It seems that by creating your post, you have taken a giant step towards changing your life and you have opened doors for many friendships. Way to go!! Please take advantage of these open doors and the desires of others to be your friend. I look forward to developing a friendship with you. You will be in my prayers, my friend. God Bless You.

I know that when a person I came across in Croupier
Training gave me some written instructions on how to
obtain friends, the rules and guidelines were quite
harrowing.

It was only after I'd bought the handcuffs and serrated
knife, that I realised he spelled 'Friend' instead of 'Fiend'

Well, the looks I got from the shop keeper when I took
the rubber gloves and the bodybag back... I was shoccked.

Originally posted by m0r1arty
reply to post by Noobastronomer

 

Seriously....have you seen this?

I think being alone and being online has taken a whole new turn (and for the best).

To my mind that band you linked to was crass, compliant to contemporary compliance and forgettable - as I'm sure you will agree with one day soon.

Nothing against your taste in music - but there is lots out there.

-m0r

Simple Plan is a decent band man.....i disagree with you

Originally posted by canadiansenior70
A good friend is hard to find..did someone famous say that? a song? well it's true.

I generally say I have a # of nice acquaintances (but I don't want them hanging around all the time.)

I live alone, and have on and off all my life. When I was 30 I was a passenger in a car crash that broke my back and disabled me. I was the 'belle of the ball' for the one year I was in the hospital, but when I was released, I thought it was a different world. Where was everybody? I was still disabled and I suppose no one wants to be saddled with that for a lifetime, not a daughter, nor 4 siblings.

I learned to be alone and like it, to value it, to write songs, learn the computer, drive a car again....that is, be independant.

Then 17 months ago, in my wheelchair, 40 years later, I was struck by a car and laid up again. Well I was prepared for it, and I have the greatest Rehab Assistant. She is younger than my daughter, and at the present time is my 'best friend'.. there is somethng she has that I have never found in anyone else...she, too, had gone through pain and Rehab, she, too, and her husband have been connected to Narcissistic Personality Disordered people, as I was and my daughter was. That can really dump on one's self-esteem, but we've overcome that.

I suppose I can say that G-d is my friend, as I had only Gr.13 education, and where would I have been if He/She didn't mess me up so that I could sue and finance my daughter's and my life.

My RA is also the only one who didn't make a face when I told her that at 46 my daughter discovered she is gay! I didn't either. I am just happy that she is happy at last!

Life is what you make of what you have to work with and for these past 17 months (broken femur, 3 surgeries and PAIN) I have been investigating the past and conspiracies, from the 1947 Roswell incident, to JFK, to the Moon landing, to 9-11 and the days just speed by as I heal every day.

Did I say that I now value my solitude? but a good friend is welcome!



edit spell



[edit on 30-8-2010 by canadiansenior70]

I am going to repost, quoting myself, and hope the OP can see what can bring about total aloneness, and one friend.

Only one person noticed this post on page 3, thank you, and I will say what I believe.

No one wants to be around a disabled person, but have you ever tried to find out the 'stuff from which they are made'? A senior as well, and we are the ones with stories you youngsters have never experienced, and sit and b*tch about your circumstances!

One friend is the best thing in the world!

Edit spell

[edit on 2-9-2010 by canadiansenior70]

reply to post by airspoon


Thank you for the reply. I have gotten a loan to pay the expenses (already in debt, so why not go further). And no I didn't have a passport, I have applied for one however. Never been out of the country, but I have been to every state. I guess I'm going to try to head to a place where theres not a big language barrier first. Thanks for the advice.

reply to post by Fumino


It's good to see that you are actually taking the plunge, or at least actively planning it. As far as language barrier, almost everywhere you go, a lot of people will speak English, as most people in the world learn it as a second language. English is after all the third most widely spoken language, after Mandarin (Chinese) and Spanish. English is also an official language of the European Union. Language shouldn't be a tough barrier, plus learning the native tongue of wherever you wind up is part of the experience.

Although backpacking across the world isn't very popular for Americans, it is for quite popular for younger people in other first world nations so I'm sure you'll meet a lot of interesting and all around cool people. I personally like experiencing the rich culture of different corners of the planet, something you just can't learn in a classroom, regardless of how good or expensive the school is. In fact, I have been mulling over a 6-12 month trip to Thailand or Vietnam to teach English, if for nothing more than a break from the stresses endured here in America.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide to do.



--airspoon

Regardless of the OP's motives for making this thread, I am glad to read that there are other people out there who also consider themselves somewhat "different" compared to the average person next door. It can be hard for other people to understand that your mindset and priorities are not based on what most people your age are concentrating on and working towards.

reply to post by AProphet1233


Yup you are a darn loser, although I know exactly how you feel, unless you are 12 or younger you have no right to feel lonely.

If you still do you are a damn loser and need to get off your ass and do something about it.

Simply keep your head to the sky, know that you are something..

Heck I believe I'm a prophet, that boosts my morals to wake up everyday and go to the same boring job which I never wanted in the first place.

We all have a purpose in this life, even damn losers

Friends are overrated. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Same story, different keyboard.

Additional info: 16 years old, 5th year of highschool in Human Sciences, living in Belgium.

I actually used to have a small group of friends I hung out with at school.
I have a social disorder which leaves me nearly inable to look people in the eyes for more than a few seconds, and I honestly don't know how to communicate very well.
Completely unable to hold a conversation.

So I've been hanging out with my group of friends for over a year, 1 of them I've known for over 6 years, and he's been at my house loads of times, almost daily a year or two ago.
Today they just came up to me and said"We don't need you anymore, go away piece of #."
"Oh look where's your friends now? LOL you don't have any hahahaha"
"I hope you enjoy school now huh "

I can say with honesty I've never done someone wrong, and am actually very nice to everyone, to make up for my severe lack of social skills I suppose.
We used to play cards all day and have fun, and now on the 3rd day of school I get this?

I'm 16, have no friends in my class to hang out with, and the other few friends I have are outside of my school.
I have very much trouble making new contacts, even though I try.
My lunch breaks are now reduced to 100 minutes of sitting by myself like a loser.

I feel for you man, honestly.
It's hard, but I guess we'll both get through it.

Loser? Well, I couldn't tell you.

I mean, if you try REALLY HARD to make friends, but fail everytime, I guess that means you "lose" at making friends. Which, consequently, makes you a "loser" of sorts.

Otherwise, no, you're just an extreme introvert.

I too am a daydreamer. I often feel disconnected from others, due to the fact that I feel I perceive things others do not, and don't feel the impulse to get caught up in trivial daily matters (topics that often fuel most social interactions). I sometimes feel like I'm an alien, observing humans, but am not entirely one of them.

At the same same time, I "win" at making friends. I can make friends whenever and wherever I want. I often become the center of attention (unintentionally), and people seem to naturally gravitate to me. Why? Because I learned how to play the "people" game. It's simple, actually, and it mostly revolves around YOU NOT GIVING AN EFF WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU. But really, it's hard not to give a care when you aren't secure in yourself.

If you happen to be completely socially inept, I would suggest using your "observational" skills to analyze how other people interact with each other socially. Or, you could realize that you are one of 6 billion people, that life is passing you by, that you live once (in this reality anyway), that nothing really matters or is of any great significance in the grand scheme of things, and that because of all this, you can express yourself socially in whatever way feels right to you, regardless of what other ppl might think.

If anything, I've learned most people are very impressionable, have a weak sense of reality, and often look to others to help them assess and understand their environment. Therefore, if you stay true to your own judgments and perceptions of reality (regardless of what anyone else is thinking or feeling), you will have more social "power" in that people will gravitate to you because they are intrigued by your viewpoint and character. So really, sometimes it's easier for friends to find you, rather than you looking for friends and giving off "desperate" vibes.

reply to post by AProphet1233


i am in a similar situation as yourself, things got so bad that ive taken a vow of silence , i no longer speak to anyone, all communication is written down i carry a note pad and pen around with me wherever i go, it works better for me people listen to me now because they have to read what i say to them.

This is easy to explain: Friendship as it used to exist in America is long gone. It no longer exists.

reply to post by canadiansenior70


It sounds like you have just written my life story, canadiansenior. Being alone seems to come hand in hand with a physical disability. My one time friends (40-50 year old friendships) are now too busy to be a part of my life; family feels like I am a burden, so I have stepped out of the family. By stepping away from my family, I no longer have to deal with the mostly fake pity directed to me. Pity is something I do not want and will not accept. After stepping away from family, I honestly feel completely free for the first time in my life. My expectations for each day are met and while I remain in constant pain, my life is relatively comfortable overall. I have proven to myself that an individual can happily exist without friends. It seems like the OP needs to either accept his life as it is and be content, or make serious efforts to accept change, if that is truly what he wants. My choice to be alone has turned our to be one of the best, most peaceful and productive decisions of my life. I have chosen a solitary life and I am content. I suspect that my life is similar to many other ATS members.

i should-av started a thread like this long before...just to increase my friends list atleast on ATS

[edit on 4-9-2010 by Noobastronomer]

There are starving children all over this world and we're supposed to care that you're lonely? Sorry, but no.

To be alive means to be completely and utterly alone, while simultaneously interconnected with absolutely everything. It is the most beautiful instance of duality I can imagine. And, if you can get comfortable with this idea, you may find that friends are more of an interesting luxury than a necessity. If you feel trapped in the organism that is your body, make your body stronger with nutrition, sleep, and exercise. Continue to nourish that brain of yours with information. Classic books, nature walks, Socrates, The Big Lebowski, whatever. Stay away from organized religion, though. Travel within your means and ask a lot of questions. Friends will come to you once you are comfortable with yourself.

The desire to remove stains from floors seems like a half of a joke, but the fact that you are willing to say it indicates that you are capable of interesting ideas and are therefore good friend material for someone. I would love to hear any "great idea" but cannot guarantee my friendship as I do not know if I am worthy and I also do not know your policy on puppy-kicking.