reply to post by pplrnuts
Ive been in your shoes...very deeply desired to 'know'. Especially as a child, for I had a brother who passed and I longed to see him. I would pray,
if souls are real, Please show me by brothers soul, bring him to me, just to see him.
As I grew up and opened my mind a bit to a different intent for 'knowing' some strange things began to happen in my life. What I share goes against
your asking for logic and reason....but sometimes, life presents us with experiences that logic and reason do not fit, at least in the laws that we
I can only share the experiences and I dont claim it as a proof for anything.
After my brother had passed, my mother had a dream she talked with him in our kitchen. He hugged her, told her to not be sad, told her he was ok. She
recalled pouring a glass of milk in the kitchen but recalled it as being odd, for she does not drink milk. When she awoke, she pretty much fell to the
floor when she walked in the kitchen, and saw the glass of milk she had poured sitting on the counter, from her 'dream'.
His death, turned her to seeking, something of Spirit. It opened her, to possibilities. She took the path of a religion to seek.
Much later, many years later....after I had grown and had children, my son at the age of 5 had a visit from what he described as a 'yellow being of
light'. He called it, Jesus. I asked him why he thought it was Jesus. He said 'well who else would it be'. We can only understand things, with what
we already know in our body complex. This being made him ex-tactically happy, filled him with joy. I wish I could truly share the expressions and mode
he was in after experiencing this. My first reaction was to roll my eyes at his huge imagination, but also, this was not like my child, to make such
a large tail up. He went on and on telling me of things that happened between him and this being. One of the things he told me was, when he reached
out to finally try to touch it....its arms began to raise and a yellow ball of light came out of the being and went into him. He said 'Mom, I think
it gave me a 'new life'....I asked 'why do you think that'...he said, 'in my mind, it just said it was 'life'.
Its been 9 years since that experience....he still recalls this being to this day and has never told a tail like that since then. It allowed me, to
open my mind more, and start to seek things of Spirit more.
My mother had a rough time later in her life...she became bed ridden and broke 2 hips. During her time of being bed ridden....she had a strange dream.
My father was fussing one week for not being able to find a bill he needed to find. My mother one night had a dream that she was 'walking' around
the house....she recalls feeling so excited, for it had been years since she experienced 'walking'. She noted, while walking in the house, seeing
the bill that dad had been needing. To her amazement's, and dads, when she woke, she told him to go into the other room and look at a certain place
on the desk to find his bill. There it was, somewhere where the 'real her' could not of been able to get to it to of found it, for she was stricken
to her bed. Again, another experience that allowed her to be more open minded.
In 2008, my mother and I dedicated ourselves to be of use...to Spirit. Our intent was, to help others find the Spirit within them. Our longing was to
be able to show others, there was more then just this life. For a couple weeks at the beginning of June, we focused very hard on being of use to
things of Spirit...offering ourselves to Thee. Our ideas of 'god' were a bit different, she followed religion, I did not so much. But I still had
faith, there was a Holy Spirit, and there was more to our bodies of flesh.
On the Summer Solstice of that year (it fell on June 21st) my mother was in the hospital for staph infections and unknowingly, her kidneys began
failing her. As I sat with her, not knowing her kidneys were failing as we sat in the hospital that day....I noted her breaths of each minute became
few. As I kept being on a frenzy of trying to get the doctors or nurses to take note....my mother would go in and out of consciousness. She would wake
if we stirred her for a minute and we had to keep stirring her to make her breaths between each minute not get to low. The nurses kept saying 'we are
trying to get a hold of her doctor to see what he wants to do'. So there me and my father were, left there with my mom, stirring her trying to not
let her get too deep into sleep for she would then only breath about 5 breaths per minute. About 9am this morning, we stirred her and she looked at
me, and began telling me of a place with many huts...that she had a hut there....and that she was with my brother, who had passed long ago. My initial
reaction again, like with my son, was to roll my eyes. Im worried that my mother is having severe health problems and she is now talking of huts. But
she went on, to describe them in detail, telling me of all the people she was seeing, and was crying in tears of seeing her son again.
Back to sleep she went...but after a moment, we see her physical body making motions...her hands were moving up and down pretty fast. We woke her
again...I asked her if she was ok, that she was moving around alot. She looked at me and said she was climbing the palm trees by her hut...and that
she had ate the most wonderful fruit she had ever ate and described in detail of the fruit and its taste. This, was just the beginning....of visions
that went on for another 9 hours that day. I have the whole story posted here at ATS for the means of sharing it...she was guided bya being she
called Michael her angel...we watched her go through reviewing her life and standing up to everything she had every done. We watched her though, being
guided to understand the things she knew not, was OK, and she once told us, we just keep relearning till we get it right. She experienced a past life
of herself in the times of Jesus, being family member to Piolot (sp), she was taken shown things about our family, she was taken to Petra and shown
things about it how its a safe ground of something sacred there, she was taken to Egypt and below Egypt where she saw the history of the Earth. Some
of the things she 'saw' went against her own belief....and for me, this told me, this was not just her 'wishes and desires' of her own
imagination. She would of never believed in reincarnation, and she came out of the experience having a different understanding of the one they called
Jesus. She went from thinking that we are to be 'washed in the blood' to thinking that this was wrong. She even saw what showed her 'other life'
that came here to Earth and how we are somehow connected to them through ancestry. She was shown things below egypt that led her to understand that
this 'Michael' that was leading her....was once here on Earth with others 'like him'.
She saw a matrix of energy through out this experience, when she would open her eyes. She kept asking us, 'dont you see the yellow dust'? She
described the beauty in the perfection of the way the energy lines and dust would synchronize together....and how it was connected to everything. Even
the top of our heads...how a ray of light was coming out of everyone's head and would meet the matrix and dust somehow.
Please understand...I love logic!
I LOVE reasoning. But some things that have happened in my life, had no explanation in those fields of laws that
I know of. After about 2 hours of being miss skeptical to my mother and her tellings that day....I had to swallow my logic and began writing down all
that she said to me....just in case.
For 9 hours, she vividly experienced some very strange things. She cried, she felt things, she saw things with her eyes open, she 'smelled things',
she smiled while having the visions with her eyes closed. At 4:30 pm that day, the doctor had still not came. Mother was showing signs of 'wanting to
leave'. Her last few words were 'what time is it, what is the day, Im at a river, Michael does not want me to cross it, Craig (my brother) is there,
I then leave my father there....while I went myself to the doctors office and went straight into him demanding he come see my mother. By the time we
got to the hospital...the nurses had taken notice and said that her kidneys were failing. It as almost 6 pm by this time...I woke her one more time
before they took her on the helicopter to take her to a larger hospital for her kidney failure and her words were as she looked at me 'Im at the
gate' with a smile on her face.
By the time they got her to the other hospital, she had to go on life support, this in itself was critical, for her kidneys were in need of dialysis.
She was in critical care unit on life support for 3 days. When she awoke....guess what she still was seeing without the visions while her eyes were
closed.....the dust, the lines of energy, the matrix. Her 'coming back ' to us was a very dark time, it was like a 'possession'. I never had
believed in a 'devil' or 'possessions' but what ever was within my mother that time after she woke, wanted her to die. I dont like to analysis
what it was or why it happened, its far to far, for my logic and reasoning. I just know, it was not my mother at all times. As my family fought
spiritually, to get her back....she did return and has memories of pretty much EVERYTHING. Even the 'possession'.
I can not say I understand it all....I can only say, I now have a very open mind and I have much faith and know, there is something more, then these
bodies of flesh we 'think' we are. Im still not religious....but I have found truth in them all. I have had some deep spiritual experiences the last
couple of years that are very high points of my life.
A 'soul' to me is a word for mankind to 'try' to explain something that we dont understand. I think with all the strange experiences through out
time, man has had to keep a open mind, and has had to label the unexplained with 'words' and the limits of 'language' somehow. To me, the word
'soul' is a way to explain that we are a 'phase of the Spirit'....and we, are all a part of this 'larger self' that is 'life'. The 'soul' is
the individual 'self' experience, the 'spirit' is the overall, the ONE, experience.
Language, limits such things, truly.
I cant say I understand it with the logic and reasoning that we know of....but I do believe, there is logic and reasoning to it, somehow. Ive had to
come to terms with being OK....not knowing the details of it all, with any certainty. I certainly though know, we do not know it all, with our ideas
of logic and reason. There is something more, in my truth...and all I can do is share why I believe this.
My best to you