No Sissy Boys Allowed.

reply to post by ShadowArcher

Also, how are you 'pushing' me? I suppose by making this utter waste-of-ether thread, yes, but do you actually think that your little opinion means anything to me?

If it didn't you wouldn't have bitten in the first place. Learn to laugh at it & move on.



[edit on 1-6-2010 by acrux]

Originally posted by OutKast Searcher
reply to post by Tykonos

 

Are you telling me you don't try to impress girls you like the look of? Girls like guys to make an effort. Making an effort means it's you aren't really being yourself. I hate wearing suits but I wear one when the time requires it.

This may come as a surprise to you...but some guys don't have to make an effort. They don't act fake, which is what you are suggesting, they act themselves and SURPRISE...it works just fine.

You do know that people can tell when you are "making an effort"...I like to call that "trying to hard". Girls may like it when you try to impress them...for a short while...but that will soon wear off...unless you plan on selling yourself out for the rest of your life just for the attention of a girl.

Just be yourself...it's much easier...and you'll have more self-respect for yourself...AND you may just find someone who likes you for YOU and not the person you are pretending to be.

I know...shocking concept.

There is a difference between making an effort, trying to impress somoeone you really like than trying too hard, yes trying too hard is obvious. You are taking what i mean to an extreme.

i take it all women who wear make up are being fake too, making themselves look like something they are not?

reply to post by Tykonos

i take it all women who wear make up are being fake too, making themselves look like something they are not?

Good point, but for the record, and for all of you women reading this, I very, very rarely see a woman who looks "better" in makeup!

Maybe it is just me, but I love to see a woman's natural skin and eyes and lips. Again, nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, exfoliating those lips, and conditioning your long, soft, pretty hair. Nothing wrong with a golden tan, but no need for the pancake coverage, the bright eye and lip liner, the red lipstick. No good.

If you happen to have a blemish, keep the make up subtle. Neutral tones, leave your hair down, be understated and soft! That is how us "manly" men like our women. Soft, supple, and sweet! Perfect compliment to a calloused and scarred up fella!

My goodness some people are worried way too much about labeling. Here is an idea. Define for yourself what a real man is and live it. I gotta tell you people get tired of the macho crap pretty quick. It astounds me how quickly an accidental bump turns into a pissing match where Mr. Burly decides that every action has an unequal and exaggerated reaction. I won’t tell you what a man is, rather what I think one is and what has worked for me.

I have a quite attractive wife. She looks young for her age and society seems to have deemed her as pretty. (lucky me) I have seen COUNTLESS men stare her up and down, offer to buy her a drink and even one tell her that I must not be a good husband because I am not all over her in the bar. (I LOVED that one :-p ) So you know what I did? Nothing. I let my wife be independent. Of course if a guy grabbed her arm or hit her I would be all over him like ugly on an ape (sorry PETA). Therein lies the difference of what makes a man to me; knowing when each reaction is needed and never overstepping or overpowering the needed reaction. I was in a fight one time that I could not avoid. I won by breaking his nose and that was all I needed. I then called the cops and the ambulance and I wouldn’t have pressed charges but the PD of course had their rules and thus he was carted off.

I am not a woman. I cannot speak for women. I can only speak to what I have been told and taught by women. Women (those that I have spoken to) do not want a 24/7 hero. Heroics and machismo are needed on rare occasions but men overdo it constantly. Don’t sit and hover on your women. It’s scary sometimes but you gotta let go once in a while. Help her when SHE asks to be helped. If I tightened my grip on Raven I would be a divorced lonely guy.

Now as for ‘metro.’ WHO CARES! Again for some women that metro represents a real man. For some women, Mr. Macho may represent a real man. Just be you for goodness sake. Quit taking anything to extremes. Find a balance.

Now as for the OP. Don’t define what a man is to me friend because you are wrong. Frankly if anyone external gets to define manliness to me it is my wife. By virtue of her ideals, she defines what she wants in a real man and in turn she has chosen what fits her. My characteristics make me up and the way she and my friends explain it, I am a man because:

1. I have a feminine side and actually use
2. I can get tough ONLY WHEN it is absolutely necessary and I never overdo it
3. I have emotions and am not afraid of them
4. I can actually walk away from frustrating events without resorting to violence
5. I care about my appearance
6. I treat my wife as a wife not MY WOMAN who I own. She is independent when she wants and dependent when she needs. She has male friends and her own life. (please notice I did not say I LET her have male friends and a life. That would imply I own her and therefore tolerate her life. I do not own my wife.)

and so on…

oh and FYI…I do like women as my sexual preference. I am reaching a high education and success level. All of these things seem to be attributed only to ‘manly’ men and yet here I am, soon to be Master’s student and successful (hopefully…I don’t count my chickens and such) and married to a fabulous woman.

To the rest of the men here. Just be you and stop worrying about how people label you. If you harm none when not needed and just learn to be yourself you’ll be fine. The most important step to me for being a man is this…

LISTEN!

Listen to your mate, your friends, your family, your coworkers…hell even strangers. Listen and you might actually learn. I know it took me ages to get out of the misogynistic ways I used to embrace. Suddenly now I am happy, free of shame and oppression I placed on females and have a happy relationship.

funny that…

-Kyo

I must agree that it is essential for a man to be a "man" at some point in his life if that makes sense. Although I don't agree with the "gay-bashing and men have to like cars and football" mentality, I do think a little more masculinity is needed these days.

I'm only 21 myself and already I notice a difference with how young boys are starting to become "sissies". My girlfriends nephew is 9 and he dances around to Beyonce and gives his mother tips on fashion. This is just ridiculous in my opinion, I was told "never tell tales, if someone hits you hit 'em back harder. If they knock you down, hit 'em back after". Although old fashioned to some, this mentality has helped me become strong and successful. I didn't get where I am today by prancing around in high heels, my father would go mad if I did and quite rightly so. If there were no distinguishable character traits for males and females it would all be very confusing.

If I ever have a son I know for certain that I'll be taking him to boxing, not ballet. However if he turned round and said "Dad, I wanna do ballet" then ballet is what he'll do. You can't go against people interests but portraying a more manly role model is just the way it should be in my opinion. I don't care about PC and all that, a man is a man for a reason, just having balls doesn't mean you actually have them.

[edit on 1-6-2010 by Scope and a Beam]

Or

Originally posted by acrux
reply to post by ShadowArcher

 

Also, how are you 'pushing' me? I suppose by making this utter waste-of-ether thread, yes, but do you actually think that your little opinion means anything to me?

If it didn't you wouldn't have bitten in the first place. Poor little ducky is getting bullied. Learn to laugh at it & move on.

Actually I think how you bit has been hilarious.

Don't be a great man, just be a man & let history make it's own decisions.(be a man, not a -Snip-)

Goodnight & fairwell.

[edit on 1-6-2010 by acrux]

Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm laughing right now. It's ever-so cute that you think I 'bit'. Aren't you just precious. You love posting these ridiculous meaningless quotes, don't you? Is somebody compensating?

Also, I'm getting bullied? I didn't even notice. Here's me, chatting away with my friend and doing some work, and you're busy bullying me Sorry, I should have paid more attention perhaps. Then again, if you call this bullying, I'd love to know where you went to school. It puts your post about how you just had to deal with bullies and grow stronger for it in a whole new light.

Nighty nighty, don't let the bed bug biiiiiitey
xxx

Mod Edit - To remove vulgarity from quote box.

[edit on Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:43:40 -0500 by MemoryShock]

I hope you enjoy it, i'm sure the wife will love you for it too.


I just don't understand why people think that just becuase a guy shows his emotions or refrains from hitting people, they are somehow sissies or -Snip-.

Mod Edit - For Obscene Terminology; Please Review This Link

[edit on Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:51:26 -0500 by MemoryShock]

reply to post by ShadowArcher

Also, I'd have to say that girls are not 'just' anything. If you think of them as 'just girls', then you're doing something wrong.

I'm not in the game anymore...but don't think I was doing anything wrong...or anything right for that matter.

What you are describing is more than making an effort...making an effor is going up and talking to someone...wearing clothes to impress...going places you don't like...doing things you don't like...just to impress...that is being fake.

I had friends that do what you are describing...and they were always surprised later in the relationship why their girlfriends wouldn't just accept them for who they are. And I would also kind of smile to myself and think "Really? For the first few months you didn't act like yourself...and now you are surprised this girl expects you to be the "fake you" you were when you met her".

Me and my wife are comfortable with each other because we have always just been ourselves...no surprises. I make an effort to do things for her now...things I know she likes that I don't care for...because it makes her happy...not because it will trick her into liking me.

reply to post by KyoZero


I like your confidence, and I like the fact that you and your wife talk about such things. for you.

However, the many "male" friends and the "life of her own" are usually not conducive to a long term relationship. The secret to Fidelity is to limit your exposure. I have cheated and I have been cheated on. It isn't a matter of will power or trust or not loving the one you are with. It is a matter of circumstance. A little fight, a little alcohol, a little music, a little thunderstorm, a little conversation on the couch until the rain quits, and voila!

I'm not saying to be a jealous man, I am certainly not a jealous man, I like for my wife to get attention, I like to watch her dance and flirt, I am even up for some kinky group stuff, but I do not condone her being alone with another man, while she has a family at home!

reply to post by getreadyalready


Agreed - I prefer women with little or no makeup. Over the hall, there is a 39 year old woman and two 19 year old girls. That woman is damn hot, lol. She doesn't wear makeup. The girls do, and though they are beautiful too, I'm more interested in the 39 year old. Of course, she's my friend, too, so that makes a difference

reply to post by Tykonos

i take it all women who wear make up are being fake too, making themselves look like something they are not?

IMO yes...I don't care for makeup that is worn on a daily basis. Even less for women who NEED to have makeup on to go out somewhere. I prefer a women, like my wife, that doesn't need to wear makeup to look good and feel confident about themself. Makeup on special occasions I understand...as long as it doesn't make the women look like a clown.

So yes...I do think women who wear makeup on a daily basis as being fake...my opinion.

reply to post by OutKast Searcher


Again, it's not a game. And what I am describing is not being fake. It's making sure that her first impression is good. And to do that, a lot of people accentuate, even exaggerate, themselves. Not fake, not being someone else, accentuating yourself.

And I'm sorry, but taking a girl somewhere she wants to go is not being fake, it's called being a good boyfriend, caring, giving her what she wants. Pretending to like the place too when you don't is being fake. If you think not being ignorant and selfish is fake, then fine.

reply to post by getreadyalready


And for that I can't fault you. You have just stated balance and that to me makes you a man.

One of the things I completely forgot is honesty. By honesty I mean to her but more importantly to yourself.

I am a well balanced person and jealousy does not reign in my mind. However does that mean I never get jealous? Heck no and I can admit it!

The balance you spoke of get is important. She has her male friends but of course I don't want her to cheat. I just chose to go a route where instead of words I prove to her that I am the only guy for her.

PS...the following statement "you" is not you personally or anyone else on this thread. Generic...

You can tell her you're the right guy all you want. You can tell her you don't want her to have male friends. You can check her messages and spy on her. In my mind the easiest way to prove it is to let go of some of that power.

Believe me...I cannot tell you enough...believe ME when I say it is the most frightening thing in the world to let go. I was a horribly sexist youngin until I learned to act right and even in the early years of our marriage I was terrified to let go. I thought “well what if she kisses some guy and it feels better than when I kiss her?” Those thoughts were non stop in my brain until one day I realized that she did love me and only me and that is what mattered.

Look I won’t lie. I did not cheat but I was VERY tempted with this stunning and lovely asian girl. She was sweet, likeable and very sexy and clearly wanted to be with me. I came close. So you know what I did? I backed off and the first thing I did was tell Raven how tempted I was. Of course she wasn’t all giddy about it but damn did it bring us closer.

Gents… am not the one to tell you who you are…but I watch women as much as I can and I swear a lot of them apply the following reasoning to us men

“Confidence is in the heart…not the fist”

Stand up, be a man (whatever that is to you) but find a balance…that’s my opinion and of course any pair of eyes reading this is free to take it or leave it. That’s my lifestyle and motto. I live me…not you. All I know is that living as I do it has gotten me all I want and more

Also…learn to ride a horse. I cannot TELL you how many women have stopped me because I was in tight riding pants on a magnificent animal.

Raven has told me she never experiences my raw power more then when I am on Odie (a big ole sweet white draft horse) and I bust into a canter.

PS...the previous horse commentary is just for fun...but it is true on many occassions.

Break the mold gents. Whatever directions it takes you I say break the mold.

PS…once again I say this is ONLY my opinion…ignore or accept me as you wish

Also if any women disagree with the portrayal of confidence I stated let me know and I will happily withdraw.

Peace and love to all

-Kyo


[edit on 1-6-2010 by KyoZero]

This is just China starting to prepare for WWIII
We must make them bigger, stronger, faster

reply to post by Oldtimer2


I find this story amusing. I myself, am ambi. I like my men, MANLY, and women, FEMININE. I feel NO attraction, to a woosie man. If I want THAT, I'll be with my girlfriend!
So- this phenomenon, is NOT only occuring in America?? Well, I think that just makes it worse!

wow….something just occurred to me and smacked me in the face like one of those cartoonish 2 ton irons

Follow me on this…unlike most of my posts this is a VERY short journey

We are on ATS. ATS is full of people who refuse to conform to how the government tells us to be. We refuse to wear their labels. We refuse to act how they demand we act.

Yes?

here comes the brainbuster…

Some of the nonconformists here are AS WE SPEAK conforming to how society says a man should be…

I quote the Master Control Program…

“End of line…”

-Kyo

Originally posted by TiM3LoRd
reply to post by TarzanBeta

 

you might want to reread my post sunshine. i said MOST meaning that the majority are not rocket scientists. and he is a sports scientist. i dont think 50 years down the track we are going to be holding public holidays in his name.

regardless, you bragging about how great you are only indicates one thing....that you havent met enough people. there is always somebody stronger faster smarter and younger than you. no matter how much of a hero you think you are.

I read your post. The reason for the divide is that people BELIEVE what you say instead of doing what they want and need to do.

And I think you forget that Klitschko is highly celebrated in Russia and Ukraine.

As well, I did not mean to actually brag, although I do have a certain amount of unhealthy pride concerning my existence. However, I have met many, many people - and what I have learned is that everyone has the ability to be better than me, but I still have yet to meet someone who has the mind to do it. If there is anyone more versatile and determined than I am, I'd be glad to meet them! I love competition.

And I am a hero. I don't have to think it.

That's the problem with the world. Everyone relies on someone else to be their hero. Hence government and laws to keep people in line instead of their own conscience and know-how.

As for the other poster who said they'd rather meet Klitschko in a dark alley, I'm sure! But I think that this kind of thinking still is self-demeaning in the fact that you hold both of these two to be above you instead of determining for yourself that you are stronger and faster and better.

If you don't believe it, you're not going to be it. IF you don't want to, then that is your personality.

As for the "metros" and the homosexuals, there is no reason for you to keep thinking you're weak just because people want you to think that way. The reality is that there are a lot of meat-heads and football players who want nothing more than to make you think you're weak so that you wouldn't threaten them - because they are too weak to lose.

Just saying... be who you're gonna be, but atleast be honest with yourself about who you are and don't rely on society to decide for you.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
I tell my boys it is ok to cry if their dog dies, but not just because they are bleeding!

When we used to have a healthy dose of bullying, we didn't have school massacres. (Now we have the hybridized bullying that has rules, and is more psychological, and often occurs through a proxy such as Facebook. It is ineffective and just brings about violent retaliation.)

Gay men are not the problem. I knew a few Gay men that were very masculine, and a little worrisome, because they were as tough as I was. I used to joke that I didn't even like knowing that a Mike Tyson exists. I don't like knowing that any man alive is so fast, strong, and mean, that he could take me if he wanted me!

Now, Metrosexuals, or "Sissy Boys" are just repulsive in every way! They need a good bully in their life. If they can't be convinced to act a little manlier, then at least they can be toughened up to the point that they will get along in life a little better. There is no excuse for a man to act like a woman. I don't care if he is attracted to other men or not, at least he can act like a man! I would have more respect for a man that came up and slapped me on the arse and asked if he could get some of that, than I would for some little whiny wimp to come over and make some weirdo sick comment about a woman. (Both have happened, and I became friends with the gay guy, while the other weirdo wound up getting arrested later that night for attacking a waitress!)

You're a pretty horrible person.