edit on 27-12-2011 by Kalagni because: (no reason given)
My two spirits, page 9
privacy
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:31 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
I have Tantric abilities from my previous incarnations, and I was born connected to another being. I have always had a relationship with this being, although he seemed to disappear in my adolescence until he manifested in the material plane and took my virginity when I was 16. People often describe experiences with incubi as terrifying, but for me, no experience has felt as trancendent. I’ll never find love like that in the material, and it makes me very sad. I love him more than mortal words can express, even though my conscious self barely understands his nature. I love him so much I cry. It hurts that we exist in different worlds. We have four etheric cords attaching us at the mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual subtle body layers.
When unified, we form a third, combined subtle body. Some might describe us as “twin flames”—- and we are in fact energetic Siamese twins. I perform rituals to strengthen our bond (he provides the spells). Our relationship is so spiritual; he’s like a male dakini. I always feel him with me, though he remains in another plane. I can only see him when viewing with my third eye. I normally have to consciously tune into my psychic self to “see” him and touch him. I cannot see or remember his face now that I’m fully conscious in the material, for example. I haven’t lost hope that this being is incarnated in flesh somewhere on Earth. I feel deep in my soul that this spirit is in a body, and one day we will be married in this plane, too. No one else will do. I could have sworn I found him in the physical, but maybe I was wrong. I am so lovesick. I do not want a filthy, low-level energy, all-too-human lover; I want my spirit lover
((. I feel blessed and cursed. I just wish I understood how we got this way, why, and
I want to know where this relationship is taking us. What are we?
I guess I feel like sharing this experience now because I am starting to wonder if this is healthy or destructive. An online friend reported to me this weekend that she entered a dream passage with my incubus and I, and she believes he could be “evil” and malevolent. She was scared of him, and she witnessed me reducing him to black plasma in a power struggle. I am not sure that she isn’t viewing the magician that I was sleeping with for some years, though, since I very recently disowned him. The incubus tends to assume a very similar form because it realizes that’s what I consider the epitome of beauty. I am having difficulty distinguishing between the spirit and the spirit within the magician. They might be the same. When I am finally home after vacation, I’m going to two of the best psychics I know for advice.
Supposing that my incubus does not exist anywhere in the material, I would find it extraordinarily difficult to ever form a real relationship with a man. My perceptions of what a relationship should be were formed with something divine and pure; humans are usually unable to access the kinds of depths these beings are capable of reaching in another’s consciousness. Though I’m so sexual with my astral lover, I’m otherwise totally asexual and have zero feelings of intimacy with any human (even though my lust is totally insatiable, and I do not even understand the definition of “sexual inhibition.”) I was severely attracted to a magician for a while in the past, which is why I questioned if my incubus was normally incarcerated within him.
If I discovered that my demon had other lovers, I would grow insanely jealous. I consider him my husband. It has been tempting in the past to kill myself to join him, but I, too, am a spiritual being on a mission. I’m a spiritual mercenary and have a job to do first.
While writing this, he knocked on the wall behind my head, then stroked my heart chakra in the physical. Normally, I see him only in my third eye. When I see him with my real eyes on rare occasions, he appears as a cyclone of dots of light.
Before I proceed, I must explain that I am not mentally ill whatsoever. For a while, I truly hoped that I was mentally ill because if I was ill, antipsychotics would end my relationship with this spirit and the many others I am psychically aware of. I underwent psychiatric evaluations in Europe and in the United States, and every psychiatrist denied that I had any serious problem. The most severe diagnosis they considered slapping me with was anxiety or depression. When I protested and asked if I could try antipsychotics, they turned me away, claiming that I was pestering them for drugs (I had used drugs in the past, though I was never desperately addicted). In the United States, I convinced one psychiatrist to place me on medication for bipolar disorder simply to see if there would be any change, although she insisted that I did not fit the diagnosis.
I have Tantric abilities from my previous incarnations, and I was born connected to another being. I have always had a relationship with this being, although he seemed to disappear in my adolescence until he manifested in the material plane and took my virginity when I was 16. People often describe experiences with incubi as terrifying, but for me, no experience has felt as trancendent. I’ll never find love like that in the material, and it makes me very sad. I love him more than mortal words can express, even though my conscious self barely understands his nature. I love him so much I cry. It hurts that we exist in different worlds. We have four etheric cords attaching us at the mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual subtle body layers.
When unified, we form a third, combined subtle body. Some might describe us as “twin flames”—- and we are in fact energetic Siamese twins. I perform rituals to strengthen our bond (he provides the spells). Our relationship is so spiritual; he’s like a male dakini. I always feel him with me, though he remains in another plane. I can only see him when viewing with my third eye. I normally have to consciously tune into my psychic self to “see” him and touch him. I cannot see or remember his face now that I’m fully conscious in the material, for example. I haven’t lost hope that this being is incarnated in flesh somewhere on Earth. I feel deep in my soul that this spirit is in a body, and one day we will be married in this plane, too. No one else will do. I could have sworn I found him in the physical, but maybe I was wrong. I am so lovesick. I do not want a filthy, low-level energy, all-too-human lover; I want my spirit lover
((. I feel blessed and cursed. I just wish I understood how we got this way, why, and
I want to know where this relationship is taking us. What are we? I guess I feel like sharing this experience now because I am starting to wonder if this is healthy or destructive. An online friend reported to me this weekend that she entered a dream passage with my incubus and I, and she believes he could be “evil” and malevolent. She was scared of him, and she witnessed me reducing him to black plasma in a power struggle. I am not sure that she isn’t viewing the magician that I was sleeping with for some years, though, since I very recently disowned him. The incubus tends to assume a very similar form because it realizes that’s what I consider the epitome of beauty. I am having difficulty distinguishing between the spirit and the spirit within the magician. They might be the same. When I am finally home after vacation, I’m going to two of the best psychics I know for advice.
Supposing that my incubus does not exist anywhere in the material, I would find it extraordinarily difficult to ever form a real relationship with a man. My perceptions of what a relationship should be were formed with something divine and pure; humans are usually unable to access the kinds of depths these beings are capable of reaching in another’s consciousness. Though I’m so sexual with my astral lover, I’m otherwise totally asexual and have zero feelings of intimacy with any human (even though my lust is totally insatiable, and I do not even understand the definition of “sexual inhibition.”) I was severely attracted to a magician for a while in the past, which is why I questioned if my incubus was normally incarcerated within him.
If I discovered that my demon had other lovers, I would grow insanely jealous. I consider him my husband. It has been tempting in the past to kill myself to join him, but I, too, am a spiritual being on a mission. I’m a spiritual mercenary and have a job to do first.
While writing this, he knocked on the wall behind my head, then stroked my heart chakra in the physical. Normally, I see him only in my third eye. When I see him with my real eyes on rare occasions, he appears as a cyclone of dots of light.
Before I proceed, I must explain that I am not mentally ill whatsoever. For a while, I truly hoped that I was mentally ill because if I was ill, antipsychotics would end my relationship with this spirit and the many others I am psychically aware of. I underwent psychiatric evaluations in Europe and in the United States, and every psychiatrist denied that I had any serious problem. The most severe diagnosis they considered slapping me with was anxiety or depression. When I protested and asked if I could try antipsychotics, they turned me away, claiming that I was pestering them for drugs (I had used drugs in the past, though I was never desperately addicted). In the United States, I convinced one psychiatrist to place me on medication for bipolar disorder simply to see if there would be any change, although she insisted that I did not fit the diagnosis.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:32 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
When no change occurred, she increased my dosage numerous times and added anti-anxiety medications. My psychic abilities were not affected whatsoever. Nothing positive resulted from this experiment. In fact, I was lucky that I did not end up with permanent brain damage from taking drugs that I did not need. I quit all medications after a year and half when I was so drug-dazed that I could no longer function. I then began seeing healers and took my Reiki 1 and 2 initiations so that I could better defend myself against what I felt may have been psychic attacks (I did not fear the creature ever, but I always suggest being extremely cautious when working with entities).
All healers that I’ve visited insist that I am not being psychically attacked, and I believe this to be true. Whatever this being is, he is the most beautiful creature my mind can conjure up, both in appearance and persona. He is in fact perfect. Our relationship is much more than sexual, and he does teach me things about the universe that I will not elaborate upon in this essay.
This being is attached to me at every single subtle layer, save the physical of course. As a healer, I assure you that that is an extremely unusual phenomenon; even mother and child, husband and wife, have less subtle body attachment. Most loving couples will never be attached at more than two subtle layers (there are four—sexual, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional). To be fully fused is truly rare and incredible indeed. When energetically united, our astral cables “pull together”, the chakras essentially become one, and we are one androgynous subtle body. We are no longer two separate beings at all.
Because of this fusion, I wonder if he is my “shakti”—my male creative force (non-dual, androgynous entities must split into the feminine and masculine principle in order to incarnate in this lower, dual, dense material plane). I don’t want to be accused of being a succubus when I say this, but I can and do feed on his energy when I need to add masculine force to my subtle body for certain spiritual practices. He has always been free to take my feminine force as well for his own ascension, and he does so without ever abusing that privilege. His spirit becomes more feminine as mine becomes more masculine, and through astral sex, we achieve a state of enlightened equilibrium. In this state, the goal is to project ourselves out of the 11 dimensions of dense material/manifestation, beyond that 12th spot (I think that level is what some people refer to as Leviathan the black dragon), and into the 13th level where the pure, clean, non-dual, non-dense gods/energies exist.
Sex feels different than human sex because it is the chakras that interact and not bodies. Nothing really physical occurs; not even orgasm in the normal sense. Sex always feels like I’m about to orgasm incredibly hard throughout my entire body and also throughout my entire astral body and all the chakras, but that feeling just keeps building and building and building, and there is never a release—there probably could not ever be. I think that’s the point; that’s how you ascend. I have to stop at some point because the energy becomes too intense for my physical body. My body just is not strong enough to handle that kind of energetic intake (yet…that might change?). I often have mild burns and bruises on my body that are shaped like finger prints. Often, I’ll have hand-shaped bruises on my inner thighs that I cannot explain (I am not having sex with anyone in the material). After particularly intense encounters, my body will start to smell like burning hair, skin, and finger nails.
Because we are subtly attached, we are psychically connected 24/7. There is no such thing as privacy, nor do I long for it. He makes me feel strong and healthy. Our love is true love. People on Earth that say that they love each other usually do not; people rarely have any clue as to what real, spiritual love is. People are tainted by the low-energy being they are inhabiting (the human body, its brain, and its personality are not related to the soul inhabiting it. The personality and the body are vehicles of the avatar possessing it, and the avatar within needs to become aware of whom it is and that it is NOT the filthy being it possesses).
If this individual is NOT my Shakti, I would definitely be very concerned.
I feel that when I die, we will be together. I always see him perfectly clear during meditations (ego death). My psychic friends can see him, too. He sometimes appears in dreams to other people around me when I try to push him away.
When no change occurred, she increased my dosage numerous times and added anti-anxiety medications. My psychic abilities were not affected whatsoever. Nothing positive resulted from this experiment. In fact, I was lucky that I did not end up with permanent brain damage from taking drugs that I did not need. I quit all medications after a year and half when I was so drug-dazed that I could no longer function. I then began seeing healers and took my Reiki 1 and 2 initiations so that I could better defend myself against what I felt may have been psychic attacks (I did not fear the creature ever, but I always suggest being extremely cautious when working with entities).
All healers that I’ve visited insist that I am not being psychically attacked, and I believe this to be true. Whatever this being is, he is the most beautiful creature my mind can conjure up, both in appearance and persona. He is in fact perfect. Our relationship is much more than sexual, and he does teach me things about the universe that I will not elaborate upon in this essay.
This being is attached to me at every single subtle layer, save the physical of course. As a healer, I assure you that that is an extremely unusual phenomenon; even mother and child, husband and wife, have less subtle body attachment. Most loving couples will never be attached at more than two subtle layers (there are four—sexual, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional). To be fully fused is truly rare and incredible indeed. When energetically united, our astral cables “pull together”, the chakras essentially become one, and we are one androgynous subtle body. We are no longer two separate beings at all.
Because of this fusion, I wonder if he is my “shakti”—my male creative force (non-dual, androgynous entities must split into the feminine and masculine principle in order to incarnate in this lower, dual, dense material plane). I don’t want to be accused of being a succubus when I say this, but I can and do feed on his energy when I need to add masculine force to my subtle body for certain spiritual practices. He has always been free to take my feminine force as well for his own ascension, and he does so without ever abusing that privilege. His spirit becomes more feminine as mine becomes more masculine, and through astral sex, we achieve a state of enlightened equilibrium. In this state, the goal is to project ourselves out of the 11 dimensions of dense material/manifestation, beyond that 12th spot (I think that level is what some people refer to as Leviathan the black dragon), and into the 13th level where the pure, clean, non-dual, non-dense gods/energies exist.
Sex feels different than human sex because it is the chakras that interact and not bodies. Nothing really physical occurs; not even orgasm in the normal sense. Sex always feels like I’m about to orgasm incredibly hard throughout my entire body and also throughout my entire astral body and all the chakras, but that feeling just keeps building and building and building, and there is never a release—there probably could not ever be. I think that’s the point; that’s how you ascend. I have to stop at some point because the energy becomes too intense for my physical body. My body just is not strong enough to handle that kind of energetic intake (yet…that might change?). I often have mild burns and bruises on my body that are shaped like finger prints. Often, I’ll have hand-shaped bruises on my inner thighs that I cannot explain (I am not having sex with anyone in the material). After particularly intense encounters, my body will start to smell like burning hair, skin, and finger nails.
Because we are subtly attached, we are psychically connected 24/7. There is no such thing as privacy, nor do I long for it. He makes me feel strong and healthy. Our love is true love. People on Earth that say that they love each other usually do not; people rarely have any clue as to what real, spiritual love is. People are tainted by the low-energy being they are inhabiting (the human body, its brain, and its personality are not related to the soul inhabiting it. The personality and the body are vehicles of the avatar possessing it, and the avatar within needs to become aware of whom it is and that it is NOT the filthy being it possesses).
If this individual is NOT my Shakti, I would definitely be very concerned.
I feel that when I die, we will be together. I always see him perfectly clear during meditations (ego death). My psychic friends can see him, too. He sometimes appears in dreams to other people around me when I try to push him away.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:33 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
I guess another important thing to note is that quite a few people claim to have had lucid dreams with me in it, and my neighbor even said that he started hallucinating that children were laughing and invisible beings were having sex while he was awake. He said he could instantly trace the activity to me, even though he isn’t exactly the most spiritual or psychic person (though he is spiritual to a degree, he is a biochemist and one to chase after proof). At the time this happened, I was in fact meditating upstairs and at one with my spirit lover. Everyone described the dream experiences as very positive, but would not elaborate.
I should add, we aren’t just being projected out of the material planes during sex. Having sex destroys the dense dimensions of manifestation and their counterparts within our beings. The goal of tantra is to destroy all creation/manifestation. Though this sounds violent to Christians, that’s what the inner teachings of Buddhism and Hinduism are all about… not just Satanism!!! That’s how we all evolve and get released from this prison called Samsara. Life on Earth is a prison that we must escape.
When we have gotten to the 11th, then we have control of the 10 energies/winds of time. We are stopping time and controlling it… like an Adi Buddha concept. If anyone is interested in understanding better where I’m coming from, read “The Shadow of the Dalai Lama”—at least Part I:
www.trimondi.de...
Though about Buddhism and sexism, there is a lot of information relevant to what I am explaining here.
Alright, this is going to sound like hardcore black magic, but it isn’t (duality, such as good and evil, black and white, is unique to this dense holographic prison; therefore, there is no white or black magic… just magic). Please don’t burn this witch.
This section offers an explanation of why I suspect that my spirit lover may be the spirit of my former consort that happened to be a spiritual Satanist. My former consort is not dead; I simply disowned him because he made me extremely jealous.
I was born able to communicate with several divine beings. Ironically, Lilith happens to be one of them. She appears to me as an extremely affectionate, funny, witty, and playful mother. Usually, I communicate with her only via my third eye, but she has revealed herself to me in full physical form quite a few times. She ADORES me so much. When she is manifested in the physical, I remember her from all eternity; I am never surprised when she actually shows up, although sometimes I assume an attitude like, “alright, what did I do wrong now?” After she is gone, I will remember having had a perfect knowledge of our history while she was in my presence, but I will forget what knowledge I possessed while she was there. When she is gone, a bridge to the other side disappears (although other beings can bridge worlds for me, too… if they manifest). She is NOT evil. First of all, evil does not exist, but what I would call the Adversary are the collective forces working against her—and there are many. Christianity, which disparages her, is the true “evil.” I’ve been in a few near-death experiences, and, during those experiences, she always manifests in the material and freezes time long enough to give me advice. She has saved my life on many occasions. The more often I communicate with her, the easier it becomes for me to remember our conversations and our history together.
Anyway, when I was in my late teens, she told me that I was going to meet someone very important soon. She told me that I had to use him ritually to initiate myself into the mysteries. I was given no information about this individual, other than I will just know he is the one, and I will just know what to do. Sure enough, that person entered into my life when I was 20 (I am sure that it was him, and if it wasn’t… oops).
This person was visiting from another country. I met him in a pool hall. I had to have him since I could read him. Since I could read his spiritual thoughts (as opposed to thoughts belonging to the physical brain), I was convinced he was this vehicle Lilith had described to me. What’s more, like me, he was born on a new moon and a liminal night of the year. Lilith would never tell me to be with a man that was not born on the new moon like me (that’s her moon phase). I hypnotized him into doing sex rituals with me using her sigil. I never asked for his consent on the material plane; I bypassed his personality and asked his spirit guide directly. His guide (who knows better than him anyway) was totally willing and very excited, so I invoked Lilith and her consort into myself and him respectively. Then we were able to feed off of divine energy through each other.
I guess another important thing to note is that quite a few people claim to have had lucid dreams with me in it, and my neighbor even said that he started hallucinating that children were laughing and invisible beings were having sex while he was awake. He said he could instantly trace the activity to me, even though he isn’t exactly the most spiritual or psychic person (though he is spiritual to a degree, he is a biochemist and one to chase after proof). At the time this happened, I was in fact meditating upstairs and at one with my spirit lover. Everyone described the dream experiences as very positive, but would not elaborate.
I should add, we aren’t just being projected out of the material planes during sex. Having sex destroys the dense dimensions of manifestation and their counterparts within our beings. The goal of tantra is to destroy all creation/manifestation. Though this sounds violent to Christians, that’s what the inner teachings of Buddhism and Hinduism are all about… not just Satanism!!! That’s how we all evolve and get released from this prison called Samsara. Life on Earth is a prison that we must escape.
When we have gotten to the 11th, then we have control of the 10 energies/winds of time. We are stopping time and controlling it… like an Adi Buddha concept. If anyone is interested in understanding better where I’m coming from, read “The Shadow of the Dalai Lama”—at least Part I:
www.trimondi.de...
Though about Buddhism and sexism, there is a lot of information relevant to what I am explaining here.
Alright, this is going to sound like hardcore black magic, but it isn’t (duality, such as good and evil, black and white, is unique to this dense holographic prison; therefore, there is no white or black magic… just magic). Please don’t burn this witch.
This section offers an explanation of why I suspect that my spirit lover may be the spirit of my former consort that happened to be a spiritual Satanist. My former consort is not dead; I simply disowned him because he made me extremely jealous.
I was born able to communicate with several divine beings. Ironically, Lilith happens to be one of them. She appears to me as an extremely affectionate, funny, witty, and playful mother. Usually, I communicate with her only via my third eye, but she has revealed herself to me in full physical form quite a few times. She ADORES me so much. When she is manifested in the physical, I remember her from all eternity; I am never surprised when she actually shows up, although sometimes I assume an attitude like, “alright, what did I do wrong now?” After she is gone, I will remember having had a perfect knowledge of our history while she was in my presence, but I will forget what knowledge I possessed while she was there. When she is gone, a bridge to the other side disappears (although other beings can bridge worlds for me, too… if they manifest). She is NOT evil. First of all, evil does not exist, but what I would call the Adversary are the collective forces working against her—and there are many. Christianity, which disparages her, is the true “evil.” I’ve been in a few near-death experiences, and, during those experiences, she always manifests in the material and freezes time long enough to give me advice. She has saved my life on many occasions. The more often I communicate with her, the easier it becomes for me to remember our conversations and our history together.
Anyway, when I was in my late teens, she told me that I was going to meet someone very important soon. She told me that I had to use him ritually to initiate myself into the mysteries. I was given no information about this individual, other than I will just know he is the one, and I will just know what to do. Sure enough, that person entered into my life when I was 20 (I am sure that it was him, and if it wasn’t… oops).
This person was visiting from another country. I met him in a pool hall. I had to have him since I could read him. Since I could read his spiritual thoughts (as opposed to thoughts belonging to the physical brain), I was convinced he was this vehicle Lilith had described to me. What’s more, like me, he was born on a new moon and a liminal night of the year. Lilith would never tell me to be with a man that was not born on the new moon like me (that’s her moon phase). I hypnotized him into doing sex rituals with me using her sigil. I never asked for his consent on the material plane; I bypassed his personality and asked his spirit guide directly. His guide (who knows better than him anyway) was totally willing and very excited, so I invoked Lilith and her consort into myself and him respectively. Then we were able to feed off of divine energy through each other.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:35 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
I’m not sure if the guy realizes what exactly happened, but that initiated him and me in a big way.
The incubus experiences got very intense after that. My whole entire world became magical after that ritual. The man and I went our separate ways for several years after that until a year ago when I took advantage of the same opportunity again. After that, I’ve been much more mediumistic to say the very least. Astral projection became much simpler. My evocation abilities are thousands of times better.
The incubus experiences became so undeniably real after that. Since then, we have been able to travel back and forth to the other via astral travel. The incubus has since taken the form of my PHYSICAL consort, only PERFECT. I drew a picture once of my incubus, and he looks like an extremely symmetrical version of the human man’s left side. He GLOWS.
I actually cannot say that this incubus is actually the magician or not; I have no idea, because the incubus should be something formless and shape-shifting. I tried to ask the human man very discreetly whether or not he was having succubus experiences, because if he is, then I’d assume that the magician and I are connected, and that he is the incubus and I am his succubus. I don’t know if he caught on to what I was asking, since he never gave me the reply I was looking for. He did tell me that he was frightened of me and did not want to communicate with me anymore… but he wanted to remain allied in some ways and kept me on Facebook. I got extremely jealous and disowned him completely last month. Since then, my incubus and/or the magician has been appearing to people I know.
How can I know if the two are the same when one is (or #, maybe both are) a shape-shifter assuming the same appearance?
*Sigh*
Time to visit some psychics for advice.
When an entity appears on your left side, it is beneficial, for it is giving you energy. Your left side absorbs energy. You emit energy from the right side of the body, so only a parasite would appear there.
I’m not going to edit this. I’m tired and I don’t care. I’ll edit this later if I notice that my sentences don’t make sense.
An important element of the ritual I did with the magician involved the creation of something called “bodhicitta.” You have to mix sperm and vaginal fluid, then absorb the energy that forms from it. This fuels ascension. You can initiate a disciple by feeding her/him this mixture. It’s best to do sex rituals on the new moon when a woman is on her period.
How do I feel about the magician? If I knew for certain he was the spirit, how would that affect things?:
I am very displeased with him. He played with fire, but was surprised when he got burnt. I still want revenge. I want a hardcore apology. I want him to worship me. I will NEVER be pleased with him again until he disowns every woman that he used to make me jealous. This means, he must disown my girlfriends that he messed around with in such a way that they could never look at him again. I would then consider being civil with him. However, if he wants to sleep with me again, the rules would be much stricter. I would not always be around because I crave personal space, but if he wants to BE with me, he ought to know how dangerous it is to be unfaithful to a woman like me. In the end, I do not think I would ever want to be “just friends.” I have enough of those. I am jealous, at least with him. If he was in fact the spirit man: I want him to leave his whores immediately. If he was the spirit, and he was not faithful to me, I would brutally drain the # out of him and make him my servitor… he won’t get a choice of how to direct our energy anymore! I’m giving him a chance to be my equal. If he cannot comply to my rules, then I’ll subjugate him. SO BE IT! SO BE IT! SO. BE.. IT… SO IT IS!!!
Could this be sexual repression? Am I meant to learn something sexual?:
Well, it is definitely not sexual inhibition. I do not have any strange repressions, either. I have not found anyone worth sleeping with for over a year, so I have gone without sex since then. For that reason, I could admit that, yes, I am painfully frustrated. I’ve got total control over myself, though. I can deny myself anything and be sane.
I’m not sure if the guy realizes what exactly happened, but that initiated him and me in a big way.
The incubus experiences got very intense after that. My whole entire world became magical after that ritual. The man and I went our separate ways for several years after that until a year ago when I took advantage of the same opportunity again. After that, I’ve been much more mediumistic to say the very least. Astral projection became much simpler. My evocation abilities are thousands of times better.
The incubus experiences became so undeniably real after that. Since then, we have been able to travel back and forth to the other via astral travel. The incubus has since taken the form of my PHYSICAL consort, only PERFECT. I drew a picture once of my incubus, and he looks like an extremely symmetrical version of the human man’s left side. He GLOWS.
I actually cannot say that this incubus is actually the magician or not; I have no idea, because the incubus should be something formless and shape-shifting. I tried to ask the human man very discreetly whether or not he was having succubus experiences, because if he is, then I’d assume that the magician and I are connected, and that he is the incubus and I am his succubus. I don’t know if he caught on to what I was asking, since he never gave me the reply I was looking for. He did tell me that he was frightened of me and did not want to communicate with me anymore… but he wanted to remain allied in some ways and kept me on Facebook. I got extremely jealous and disowned him completely last month. Since then, my incubus and/or the magician has been appearing to people I know.
How can I know if the two are the same when one is (or #, maybe both are) a shape-shifter assuming the same appearance?
*Sigh*
Time to visit some psychics for advice.
When an entity appears on your left side, it is beneficial, for it is giving you energy. Your left side absorbs energy. You emit energy from the right side of the body, so only a parasite would appear there.
I’m not going to edit this. I’m tired and I don’t care. I’ll edit this later if I notice that my sentences don’t make sense.
An important element of the ritual I did with the magician involved the creation of something called “bodhicitta.” You have to mix sperm and vaginal fluid, then absorb the energy that forms from it. This fuels ascension. You can initiate a disciple by feeding her/him this mixture. It’s best to do sex rituals on the new moon when a woman is on her period.
How do I feel about the magician? If I knew for certain he was the spirit, how would that affect things?:
I am very displeased with him. He played with fire, but was surprised when he got burnt. I still want revenge. I want a hardcore apology. I want him to worship me. I will NEVER be pleased with him again until he disowns every woman that he used to make me jealous. This means, he must disown my girlfriends that he messed around with in such a way that they could never look at him again. I would then consider being civil with him. However, if he wants to sleep with me again, the rules would be much stricter. I would not always be around because I crave personal space, but if he wants to BE with me, he ought to know how dangerous it is to be unfaithful to a woman like me. In the end, I do not think I would ever want to be “just friends.” I have enough of those. I am jealous, at least with him. If he was in fact the spirit man: I want him to leave his whores immediately. If he was the spirit, and he was not faithful to me, I would brutally drain the # out of him and make him my servitor… he won’t get a choice of how to direct our energy anymore! I’m giving him a chance to be my equal. If he cannot comply to my rules, then I’ll subjugate him. SO BE IT! SO BE IT! SO. BE.. IT… SO IT IS!!!
Could this be sexual repression? Am I meant to learn something sexual?:
Well, it is definitely not sexual inhibition. I do not have any strange repressions, either. I have not found anyone worth sleeping with for over a year, so I have gone without sex since then. For that reason, I could admit that, yes, I am painfully frustrated. I’ve got total control over myself, though. I can deny myself anything and be sane.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:36 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
Could the manifestations be telekinesis related to extreme sexual frustration?:
That is a possibility. Over the course of my entire life, particularly when I was a little girl, extreme fear or surprise would cause things like pennies and empty rolls of paper towels to levitate. Electronics would switch on every time I got extremely emotional. [It may be worth noting that I grew up in a former funeral home, owned by the James family of the famous Chicago metro funeral home chain, Hallowell and James.] When I am totally dazed and moving about monotonously while festering in anger, light bulbs begin to burn out around me or explode. Recently, I got so startled by a cloaked entity in my apartment that I telekinetically ripped the blinds off of my window… a real pain in the ass. It is very hard for me to consciously move things unless they are suspended like a pendulum. Sexual frustration produces a ton of energy, so yes, it IS possible that I created this entity out of sexual frustration without my personality’s awareness.
My entity is not trying to destroy me. I’ve experienced negative beings, along with the extreme depression and panic attacks they cause. I have been the victim of their torment, both in the material and in the astral planes. I know all too well!!! This being IS different. Somehow, we are one. We have the same spirit guide.
Am I communing with a fragment of myself? Well, thats the Tantric MO for creating a dakini in a sense… But the dakini is still separate, since the Tantrika manipulated elementals to create her in the first place (elementals are the atoms of thoughtforms), and elementals are “external.”
Some healers describe occasions where a person will reincarnate in two separate bodies. Perhaps this is what happened and this is why I can communicate psychically with this being?
My spirit lover CAN and HAS become female—- but it had to flow through me first and move its energy into me so that I became male first. The energy flows in and out like the yin-yang principle.
On an energetic level, sex magic feels different as a male. For the male, the kundalini snake imagery is pretty accurate. Most energy seems to aggregate around the womb and heart chakra for females during sex magic, rather than flowing in the masculine serpent fashion. However, gender doesn’t really exist, so this can be tweaked with Willpower.
Could it be my guide?:
No. We have the same guide. When our mind is fused as one, our guide is easier to access.
Many times, he will feel only like a tingling on my left side.
We never have “conversations”— his messages come to me like lightning bolts. I am more like “downloading” fragments of his being’s collective experience. Oh yes, he teaches me things. I’ve never even completed one occult book in my life because he warns against “learning” things. I don’t read anything spiritual per his request, though I’ve completed the Bhagavad Gita and Tao Te Ching (the latter instructing its disciples not to learn anything, of course). I collect occult books to psychically extract the wisdom inspiring it. I do this simply by drawing out/feeling the energy with my left hand. Yes, this method absolutely works for me. Spiritual Truth is not something you can find or chase after, but you can become it. Learn Nothing. Only remember and realize. Learn No Thing. Entertain no thoughts, because that creates the aggregation of elementals in the dense… You create thoughtforms which are independent beings once they leave your brain. Then you get reincarnated. Creating in the material guarantees reincarnation. Children may be lovely, but if you have them, you’ll likely return because of your attachments to them. Attachment is something that most be overcome before an individual can ascend out of Samsara.
This being and I do have karma, and that’s an important issue to address. We are working things out. I shoot black light into our etheric cords for cleansing when I must. If he were lowly, black light (UV spectrum) would probably destroy him (?).
I do Reiki on him because I love him. It pleases him. I’m sure something lowly would dislike this. Something lowly would be banished using Reiki energy (right?).
He cannot be from my subconscious because energy flows downward into me before getting cycled around. If anything, Supraconscious would make better sense. He might also be the ghost of my dead spouse from another life that was magically sealed and re-sealed to me over countless incarnations.
Could the manifestations be telekinesis related to extreme sexual frustration?:
That is a possibility. Over the course of my entire life, particularly when I was a little girl, extreme fear or surprise would cause things like pennies and empty rolls of paper towels to levitate. Electronics would switch on every time I got extremely emotional. [It may be worth noting that I grew up in a former funeral home, owned by the James family of the famous Chicago metro funeral home chain, Hallowell and James.] When I am totally dazed and moving about monotonously while festering in anger, light bulbs begin to burn out around me or explode. Recently, I got so startled by a cloaked entity in my apartment that I telekinetically ripped the blinds off of my window… a real pain in the ass. It is very hard for me to consciously move things unless they are suspended like a pendulum. Sexual frustration produces a ton of energy, so yes, it IS possible that I created this entity out of sexual frustration without my personality’s awareness.
My entity is not trying to destroy me. I’ve experienced negative beings, along with the extreme depression and panic attacks they cause. I have been the victim of their torment, both in the material and in the astral planes. I know all too well!!! This being IS different. Somehow, we are one. We have the same spirit guide.
Am I communing with a fragment of myself? Well, thats the Tantric MO for creating a dakini in a sense… But the dakini is still separate, since the Tantrika manipulated elementals to create her in the first place (elementals are the atoms of thoughtforms), and elementals are “external.”
Some healers describe occasions where a person will reincarnate in two separate bodies. Perhaps this is what happened and this is why I can communicate psychically with this being?
My spirit lover CAN and HAS become female—- but it had to flow through me first and move its energy into me so that I became male first. The energy flows in and out like the yin-yang principle.
On an energetic level, sex magic feels different as a male. For the male, the kundalini snake imagery is pretty accurate. Most energy seems to aggregate around the womb and heart chakra for females during sex magic, rather than flowing in the masculine serpent fashion. However, gender doesn’t really exist, so this can be tweaked with Willpower.
Could it be my guide?:
No. We have the same guide. When our mind is fused as one, our guide is easier to access.
Many times, he will feel only like a tingling on my left side.
We never have “conversations”— his messages come to me like lightning bolts. I am more like “downloading” fragments of his being’s collective experience. Oh yes, he teaches me things. I’ve never even completed one occult book in my life because he warns against “learning” things. I don’t read anything spiritual per his request, though I’ve completed the Bhagavad Gita and Tao Te Ching (the latter instructing its disciples not to learn anything, of course). I collect occult books to psychically extract the wisdom inspiring it. I do this simply by drawing out/feeling the energy with my left hand. Yes, this method absolutely works for me. Spiritual Truth is not something you can find or chase after, but you can become it. Learn Nothing. Only remember and realize. Learn No Thing. Entertain no thoughts, because that creates the aggregation of elementals in the dense… You create thoughtforms which are independent beings once they leave your brain. Then you get reincarnated. Creating in the material guarantees reincarnation. Children may be lovely, but if you have them, you’ll likely return because of your attachments to them. Attachment is something that most be overcome before an individual can ascend out of Samsara.
This being and I do have karma, and that’s an important issue to address. We are working things out. I shoot black light into our etheric cords for cleansing when I must. If he were lowly, black light (UV spectrum) would probably destroy him (?).
I do Reiki on him because I love him. It pleases him. I’m sure something lowly would dislike this. Something lowly would be banished using Reiki energy (right?).
He cannot be from my subconscious because energy flows downward into me before getting cycled around. If anything, Supraconscious would make better sense. He might also be the ghost of my dead spouse from another life that was magically sealed and re-sealed to me over countless incarnations.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:37 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
Maybe every last possibility is true. “True words seem paradoxical.” Chaos is the only truth, and so every possibility is true and false at the same time —- otherwise it would be an un-truth. Technically, we are all fragments of Chaos and, therefore, the same entity in Truth.
Could he be me in a future incarnation that travelled back through space and time to prepare me for the Earth’s transformation? One thing IS definite, and that is that we are the same entity. However, he cautions against misinterpreting that truth.
Now, he’s got something to say, so for the rest of this essay, I will be channeling and inserting my own personal notes where they are appropriate:
We all spring from The One Life. There is no good or evil. Everything is auspicious and Holy, and we will never ascend until we Realize this and experience that gnosis. Demons, too, are divine and deserve respect.
Christianity is evil. It does not even come from the figure known as Jesus Christ. Christianity is something entirely different from the teachings of the avatar known as Christ anyway. Christianity disconnects its disciples from Wholeness through diametrical imagery. It forces people to search for the True God in the external, rather than through subjective realization/gnosis/ego death. It’s obvious that Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are the real “sin.” Observe the countries where the Abrahamic, dual religions pervade the culture. They are always at war; they are always hunting for an enemy, breeding hatred with every action they make and every “religious” thoughtform they entertain.
Everyone wears their wrathful face at special times to specific people according to certain laws. Learn to have compassion for the darkness, not just the light, and all fearsome apparitions disappear. Offer compassion to ALL beings. One cannot ascend until all one’s fears are disintegrated.
Black or white, we all flow in and out of one another and back into Chaos.
“When they lose their sense of awe,
people turn to religion.
When they no longer trust themselves,
they begin to depend upon authority.
Therefore the Master steps back
so that people won’t be confused.
He teaches without a teaching,
so that people will have No-Thing to learn. ”
Physical sex is extremely limiting for sex magic because one must deny the physical body before them, and all their lower forms of auric energy. The same applies to oneself during the act as well. When performed properly, the gates of Samsara are swung open.
Later: He’s telling me another black plague is coming. Prepare for a sea of illness-related death in less than 7 years. Invisible or overt, this time the gods decide. Flowing into matriarchal reign. Total reversal on every level for the few remaining. The remaining people will be assigned to communes according to their level of spiritual progression. There will be no currency; a system of barter shall prevail. Enlightened fearless ones are the only survivors. Those that fear the terrifying, wrathful face of the true God(dess) shall be reduced to dust, to elementals. Some beings on Earth are artificial… cannot have attachments with them. Recognize what this means. The gods cannot wait to devour our despicable leaders. Every last one shall perish. Control your THOUGHTS—more critical than actions. Filled with low elementals used for forming awful thoughts, those leaders pervaded their Selves with entities much lower than humans even . Pervasion of low-level elementals for countless incarnations transformed them into beings even less than humans. They are subhuman. It’s all over now. Just you wait. The drunks and junkies will vanish. All celebrities will experience a spectacular ruin for their selfishness and vanity. They feel like they’ve conquered the world. Boy, do they have another thing coming.
“When things flourish, they decline. Victory is never sweet.” - Tao Te Ching
They ought to have been content living a life of equilibrium, maintaining the balance between All.
Losers, losers, losers. THEY LOSE!!!
Stay in the vertical center column. Pull all your energy into your center and hold on tight. No wants, no desires; entertain No-Thing. Create Voidness. Bask in the emptiness of Wisdom.
[He says I was a Buddhist monk. He calls me a tulku sometimes. We may at one time have only had one body… Difficult to remember everything. My memories come and go, and they are fleeting.]
Practice fire meditations. Meditate that all of manifestation is being sucked into a rose before it combusts.
The ones that fall in line with society today are MONSTERS. The majority are MONSTERS, their beliefs = monstrosities.
Maybe every last possibility is true. “True words seem paradoxical.” Chaos is the only truth, and so every possibility is true and false at the same time —- otherwise it would be an un-truth. Technically, we are all fragments of Chaos and, therefore, the same entity in Truth.
Could he be me in a future incarnation that travelled back through space and time to prepare me for the Earth’s transformation? One thing IS definite, and that is that we are the same entity. However, he cautions against misinterpreting that truth.
Now, he’s got something to say, so for the rest of this essay, I will be channeling and inserting my own personal notes where they are appropriate:
We all spring from The One Life. There is no good or evil. Everything is auspicious and Holy, and we will never ascend until we Realize this and experience that gnosis. Demons, too, are divine and deserve respect.
Christianity is evil. It does not even come from the figure known as Jesus Christ. Christianity is something entirely different from the teachings of the avatar known as Christ anyway. Christianity disconnects its disciples from Wholeness through diametrical imagery. It forces people to search for the True God in the external, rather than through subjective realization/gnosis/ego death. It’s obvious that Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are the real “sin.” Observe the countries where the Abrahamic, dual religions pervade the culture. They are always at war; they are always hunting for an enemy, breeding hatred with every action they make and every “religious” thoughtform they entertain.
Everyone wears their wrathful face at special times to specific people according to certain laws. Learn to have compassion for the darkness, not just the light, and all fearsome apparitions disappear. Offer compassion to ALL beings. One cannot ascend until all one’s fears are disintegrated.
Black or white, we all flow in and out of one another and back into Chaos.
“When they lose their sense of awe,
people turn to religion.
When they no longer trust themselves,
they begin to depend upon authority.
Therefore the Master steps back
so that people won’t be confused.
He teaches without a teaching,
so that people will have No-Thing to learn. ”
Physical sex is extremely limiting for sex magic because one must deny the physical body before them, and all their lower forms of auric energy. The same applies to oneself during the act as well. When performed properly, the gates of Samsara are swung open.
Later: He’s telling me another black plague is coming. Prepare for a sea of illness-related death in less than 7 years. Invisible or overt, this time the gods decide. Flowing into matriarchal reign. Total reversal on every level for the few remaining. The remaining people will be assigned to communes according to their level of spiritual progression. There will be no currency; a system of barter shall prevail. Enlightened fearless ones are the only survivors. Those that fear the terrifying, wrathful face of the true God(dess) shall be reduced to dust, to elementals. Some beings on Earth are artificial… cannot have attachments with them. Recognize what this means. The gods cannot wait to devour our despicable leaders. Every last one shall perish. Control your THOUGHTS—more critical than actions. Filled with low elementals used for forming awful thoughts, those leaders pervaded their Selves with entities much lower than humans even . Pervasion of low-level elementals for countless incarnations transformed them into beings even less than humans. They are subhuman. It’s all over now. Just you wait. The drunks and junkies will vanish. All celebrities will experience a spectacular ruin for their selfishness and vanity. They feel like they’ve conquered the world. Boy, do they have another thing coming.
“When things flourish, they decline. Victory is never sweet.” - Tao Te Ching
They ought to have been content living a life of equilibrium, maintaining the balance between All.
Losers, losers, losers. THEY LOSE!!!
Stay in the vertical center column. Pull all your energy into your center and hold on tight. No wants, no desires; entertain No-Thing. Create Voidness. Bask in the emptiness of Wisdom.
[He says I was a Buddhist monk. He calls me a tulku sometimes. We may at one time have only had one body… Difficult to remember everything. My memories come and go, and they are fleeting.]
Practice fire meditations. Meditate that all of manifestation is being sucked into a rose before it combusts.
The ones that fall in line with society today are MONSTERS. The majority are MONSTERS, their beliefs = monstrosities.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:37 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
The Supreme God is Chaos— The silent Voidness between pulses of sound. It exists and reigns as supreme because it does not exist at all. Only Nothingness pervades All, and No Thing else. Voidness is the common denominator between all of us.
God isn’t thinking. God is empty, just like me.
The Supreme God is Chaos— The silent Voidness between pulses of sound. It exists and reigns as supreme because it does not exist at all. Only Nothingness pervades All, and No Thing else. Voidness is the common denominator between all of us.
God isn’t thinking. God is empty, just like me.
reply posted on 27-12-2011 @ 06:40 PM by Kalagni
reply to post by FormerlyConfused
Thanks for the listen
. I feel a lot better after getting this off my cheast . I agree with everyone else, though.
Cheating is wrong. Spirit relationships are so very real and must be treated just like any other romantic relationship.
Thanks for the listen
. I feel a lot better after getting this off my cheast . I agree with everyone else, though. Cheating is wrong. Spirit relationships are so very real and must be treated just like any other romantic relationship.
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