Man is blogging his final 30 days before he kills himself

This troubled soul is telling the truth. The reason I know this is because I have been in the same exact state as him before in my life but I never recorded it, nor did I have the opportunity to talk about it with anyone else who would understand me. In fact, the reason I would never talk about it with anyone else was because I was manic at the time.

Experiencing mania is the best feeling in the world. It comes with heightened senses. Everything you feel, smell, taste, hear, and see is euphoric. It is much more than just sensory feelings. So much so that I can't describe it with words. It is also one of the most dangerous states of mind. It destroys braincells. The neurotransmitters in your brain fire too fast, causing racing thoughts. These racing thoughts lead to grandiose thinking that can get you into a lot of trouble with the "lesser beings" or people who don't know what is going on with you.

People who simply can't understand....

The reason I am so vague with my explanation is that going manic has truly distorted my way of thinking. My brain will never be the same. The medication I take, called depakote, is a mood stabilizer. It suppresses the "bipolar disorder" I was diagnosed with, twice, in a psychiatric hospital. I know I am bipolar, judging from what "experts" in the field say about my condition.

Maybe this guy is on to something. Maybe he isn't. All I know is: he is not acting nor will he commit what we call suicide.

Originally posted by wellsybelieves
This is clearly just a struggling actor trying to make a name for himself so this i a very good project i applaud the guy he has us all talking about it.

[edit on 9-2-2009 by wellsybelieves]

This did cross my mind..I have an actor friend who brings his toddler with him to auditions for the "awww" factor, he told me flat out(full disclosure: I'm an actor myself). He even posted him and his son at an audition on youtube...never underestimate the lengths people in this biz will go..they will do absolutely anything..it ain't just a jackie collins novel..

It doesn't matter if he does, there another 6.7 billion to take his spot at whatever. Don't be all wo-is-me over 1 guy, thousands die a day to ailments, who cares if some detached guy want to end it.

"I know you got to be free to kill yourself."
QOTSA

Better than living in the organic asset slave market we all reside in.

~ThinkingAbove~

Isnt robert paulson the fat guy from fight club?

Originally posted by Tentickles
Isnt robert paulson the fat guy from fight club?

Yes.... I KNEW i knew the name.

www.imdb.com...

Heres his utube channel for another clue.
www.youtube.com...

I don't think this has been mentioned, but his website's whois is private, but his website I'm sure violates some kind of ToS for LunarPages. link to whois :

www.networksolutions.com...

Might want to forward this information to any suicide prevention places already contacted.

-Anesthesia

I would attempt to contact this person except for the fact that he would not see or understand my line of reasoning. It looks like he has his own reasoning and has made up his mind. I hope this is not real and hope he realizes that suicide is a very selfish act. Suicide is a way of running from your problems in a lot of ways and makes things tremendously difficult for your loved ones and friends. If there is another side after life I don't think you will just be able to float around and avoid life's hardships. IMHO this life is in some ways a boot camp or a training program.

Best of luck to this man.

reply to post by asmeone2


How a person dies still leaves people behind who are going to hurt and miss them.
As a NDE I have already been there, but we let the state kill us, send us to die, and let us abort a life that has no say. So who owns me?

If I can kill, why can't I choose how to end my life?
We talk about what the Government is going to do to us, did it ever occur to you that some people don't want to live to see the destruction or experience the suffering and die at anothers hands with no dignity?

I am not agree with Suicide, but I think we have to ask, who's right is it to dictate our lives?

We can't have the Right to life as it says in the Declaration of Independence unless we can be born, and we let one person make that de cision for us. That same person who did not consider the consequeces of their actions ahead of time and now wants to opt out of the responsibility.

But if this is my body and I am indeed free, then shouldn't it be my decision? Even if it is against any particular religion, I alone would face the soul consequences for my actions.

Just some food for thought.

reply to post by Chucktah


You say it takes a weak person to commit suicide? I say it takes an enormous amount of courage to follow through. Courage comes in many forms, not just on a battle field or jumping in the fire to save a life. By nature, it is not programmed in any animal or human to kill oneself. Self preservation is always the first thing in a life threatening situation. So to willingly take your own life takes courage. While I do not agree with his choice, I completely understand him. Is it not merciful to end the pain? Doesn't a terminally ill person wish all the hurt would go away? What about soul mates? When one dies and the other one just gives up living. Some see that as beautiful and is true love. You feel horrible about all these things, but you just can't help someone that is not wanting help. What about the person who pushes a child out of the road so he will not get hit by a car and dies himself? Now that is a noble thing to do. Let's face it though, it is still suicide. We all have a point of view on things. But to judge a person who makes that decision is wrong when you don't know how he feels.

All I can say is, I don't know if this dude is really gonna cash in his chips and take the train, but this vid is golden...

www.youtube.com...

I laughed so hard after watching this!

reply to post by Ron Paul Girl


obviously seeking attention... if your gonna off yourself you do it.. you dont gather as much attention as you can before hand.. theres other motivates obviously

To be honest i think this man is just a sad attention seeker. If he wishes to end his own life, why tell everyone why he is doin it and how he feels, so everyone can plea with him to not do it and the like.I think that if this is real its just so dramatic why dont he just get on with it

So many people don't even understand death. They think it is an end to everything.
This physical life that we are currently living is just a stepping stone, and learning experience to much better things.
Maybe this guy understands that? The only sad thing to me about death is the fact that we miss the person who took the train, and that is just selfish on our part.
Best of luck to this guy in whatever his decision, and to those who feel so upset, or worried about it, I hope you grow in knowledge, and understand what exactly you chose to be here for and where you will be after you are gone from "this" particulate physical experience.

Every time I see a discussion about suicide I see the same old cliches being rolled out. It's selfish. It's cowardly. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. They're only thinking of themselves. Etc.

When someone says suicide is selfish because of the hurt of those left behind, I always think it's just as selfish to expect someone to stay alive no matter how much they are hurting.

And what about mental illness that is in no way temporary? What about those who suffer extreme mental illness that has little to no chance of ever being cured? What about people who have suffered recurring depression for years, even decades, and have tried their hardest to make their life better but not succeeded? What then? Where do you draw the line of a "temporary" problem? How can you draw such a definite line and say that they should continue living even though they may never be happy and may never find a place in this world?

Yes, they may be alive if they do not commit suicide, but there is a great difference between being alive and living.

As for this particualr individual, if they are sincere, I do hope that they can find some reason, some glimmer of hope that changes their mind. But if they do not then I fully respect their right to choose their own path.

--Living in absence of hope is like living every moment with the torture of hell in your mind.

Originally posted by Chucktah




Humans are the only creatures on this planet that willingly kill themselves

Bullcrap! I've seen a paper wasp kill itself. Stung itself in the abdomen. Honeybees also willingly kill themselves by stinging when they're protecting their hive. Also, some avian creatures like eagles or hawks or something will sometimes kill themselves if they don't finish mating on time. They like do it in the air. And they don't flap their wings as they're doing it, so they fall. And if they don't finish in time, they just like hit the ground and die.

Why are you infringing on his free will? If he wishes to kill himself, let him. Do I want him to? NO

Great thread, some great view points and opinions on this chap and suicide in general.

I'm of the belief that this guy is faking, either because he is after fame and to be talked about, or that he is a massive attention seeker... ("look mummy and daddy, i've tried the sceaming and screaming until i'm sick so now i'm going to film my death...")

Its a sad state of affairs but as a Psychi Nurse i see this every day (most days), both serious depressives with suicidal ideation and the people who crave attention (or hate others getting some attention).

From this chaps nonverbals infront of the camera and the content and tone of his speech i'm placing all my chips on the 'fake' square. Though to edge my bets i'm also keeping my fingers crossed, avoiding ladders and black cats.

Again great thread guys and gals.

Hey guys, new on here but saw this post and decided to put my 2 cents in. I was diagnosed with depression a year ago. It's a disease that's hard for some people to even comprehend. Basically you wake up every day thinking about death, and wanting to kill yourself..... for no reason..

I really hope this is a hoax, but if not i can understand how he is feeling. Some people might say he doesn't seem very sad, that's because people with depression are very good at hiding it, i know.

Lots of love Cherry