reply to post by SantaClaus
Thank you for actually looking at depression and suicide with an open mind.
I am diagnosed with clynical depression, and it just seems to get worse and worse every day. I take three different types of meds, but it still is
getting worse. I've had two previous attempts, and both failed. Not going into detail, but it's not something you get over. I'm one of those people
that can seem completely happy-go-lucky in public, but when I'm in private just thinking, I see the endless pain and sufferring that life really is.
No matter where I am or what i'm doing, I'm always going to be eatten from the inside by these, I hate using the term, 'inner demons' when ever I
Simple response, stay around people, I know. There are times when I do get out because I feel the shadow of depression gripping me again, but you
can't help being alone when you sleep, or wait for it to come and it doesn't because you have insomnia to top of the depression. Then throw in some
PTSD, mix well, and you have a very deadly combination that not many people can understand.
I see the state of the world and I wish I could wipe away all the pain and sufferring, but the only way to not feel the pain of the world, is to just
leave it behind. Since we have no other planet to go to, I feel the only logical choice is to make and adventure to the otherside. It would be
permanent, but it would be an amazing adventure that would bring a new meaning to my current definition of life. Death is coming to us all, what
difference does it make if it happens today, tomarrow, or forty years from now.
For those that think it's a selfish act, I think you fail to realize that these so called selfish people are usually the ones that gave and gave and
gave, but never was given. Those that are so emotionally sensitive to all things, that being used over and over can, and will, lead these types to
refuse to play the game anymore, and the just hit their own power switch.
Then look at it this way, you think you're stronger than us, just because you don't want to kill yourself. No, the stronger person is the one that
succeeds. I can tell you that it is a scary thing holding a barrel in your mouth knowing that once you pull the trigger, you are instantly going to
have a new home. Do you think you could leave everyone and everything you love and hold dear?
My guess... Probably not.