Originally posted by A curious cat
I don't believe in placing blame, we are responsible for our own choices, all of us. No one should be made to feel guilty for someone elses
choices.

AGREED!
Originally posted by A curious catYou may not have called any one stupid but that is the impression you give. People that are doing the
wrong thing (in our opinion) are doing what they believe to be right or even what they know to be wrong but for their own advantage, unless they are
completely evil people then I believe there will be a reason for their actions that has it's roots in fear.
i have thought this issue over extensively after re-reading all the posts and then doing a bit of self reflection.
i never wanted to come across as though i looked down on them as human beings for their choices. i respect their right to choose and their right to
experience the effects (negative or positive) in regard to their choices.
i have done many wrong doings in ignorance and acted out on emotions (hell, i am an irish blooded, texas born, gemini all crammed into a woman's body
lol). however, the incidents always had negative consequences which i accepted and learned from. i need mercy and understanding just as much as some
of these men and women in service do. no more, no less.
that is a matter that is better dealt by them and their conscience, the Creator, and their direct victims (whether it be a mother devestated bc her
child was killed; an old man who lost his wife and both legs; whoever they have directly affected by making their choice).
i wanted to say for the record, even though they are still responsible for their choice and the implications their choices bring, i think a truly
penitent soldier of this war who comes forward and takes responsibility for his actions w/out placing the blame on anyone else should be shown
mercy..... bc as it has been pointed out on here, who hasn't committed wrong acts in the state of ignorance? as long as they are willing to accept
responsibility for their choice, i would hope they would not be preached at, shunned, or judged by us, but rather embraced and suited up to be on the
side of the citizens lol.
i like the following words as posted in this thread:
Originally posted by GAOTU789
Most of them enlisted for the right reason's.
i do understand this and am first to say that i would not want to serve on any judging committing to determine who signed up for the right reasons as
opposed to who signed up for the wrong.
still, as it is said, "the road to hell is paved w/ good intentions." it is our responsibility to not be deceived, even by ourselves.
Originally posted by A curious catDon't you think this world needs less anger?
ideally, yes. under the present circumstances, i think the world could do w/ more ppl getting angry and directing that anger to the injustices that
are going on before our eyes. we share this planet and therefore, we all share to some degree, a responsibility to speak out against those who would
manipulate, especially in order to control.
i am all for personal experiences and dealing w/ the natural consequences for our choices, but there are some who try to convince us that we are not
capable of being responsible for ourselves so that we will willingly hand over the responsibility of our lives (ie.. control of our lives) to their
greedy hands.
don't know about anyone else, but i don't need to be protected from myself or from my neighbor, but rather from those who would impose tyranny into
my life.
Originally posted by A curious catTo sympathise means to support, to empathise means to put yourself in anothers place, to understand
them not condone their actions.
well, when i said that i sympathized and not necessarily empathized w/ the soldiers, i was referring to what they were going through having been
abandoned by their loved ones.
specifically i said:
Originally posted by justamomma
i don't need to empathize w/ these men being abandoned by the ones they love bc i can sympathize.
i sympathize w/ them in this case bc they are fellow humans, not because they are soldiers. i would show them no more / no less sympathy than i would
anyone else going through such a thing.
now, i tend to be very objective about these things, not only w/ others, but w/ myself and therefore don't doubt that i can come off, on here at
least, sounding like a callous person. i am not.
again, i have been through this very same thing and have walked through a very personal and real hell over the last almost 3 yrs (being that we
seperated at the end of july '05).
however, i don't blame 0R excuse myself or my ex. things happened, we made choices, we acted on emotions and thus the result..... it was too much for
him to be able to work through and he walked.
his choice and his right. the only thing that hurt as much as him choosing to walk away was what my brother did. when the ex walked, i wanted to
scream and i wanted spit fire for a good year and a half. but i kept those feelings in check and rather than place the blame and try to work up a
support of "feel sorry for me friends", i took control of my life and worked w/ what i had. it wasn't a matter of needing ppl's support, it was
simply a matter of me realizing that whether on my own or not, i have to take personal responsibility and keep moving and learning.
Originally posted by A curious catWhen you spoke of your brother you did sound harsh, very harsh, but I was then too harsh in my
comments to you. I really do understand your pain and anger, I just wonder, if you could feel the hatred your brother had for himself, enough
to abandon the family that loved and needed him, if you could feel that self hatred, maybe you would feel a little less angry, maybe the pain would be
lessened. You can't really understand until you do.
i was being honest w/ the other members and posters on this thread when sharing that.
the day that my mom told me is a day that is forever etched in my memory. i didn't eat or sleep for quite some time and went through a myriad of
emotions, ranging from depressed to hopeless, guilty to angry, unable to understand how yet being able to understand why, numb to uncontrollable. it
has taken considerable effort to come to terms w/ the effects it has had on my life and the lives of those i love. if he were to be able to come back
and make ammends for what he did to everyone, w/out question, in my mind, he would be forgiven.
however, he can not.... and that is bc of the choice he made to give up on himself AND his family. for what he did to himself and to those he left
behind, i am angry, but just because i am angry doesn't mean that i don't understand how overwhelming life w/ all its pressures and guilts can
be...... i know bc i face it everyday.
i am angry BECAUSE i loved and valued him so much regardless of the choices he made. however, ultimately he chose to bypass his chance to make ammends
for his choices in this life. my anger is rather passive though. i mean, seriously, i can't do much to help him now. he had so much good in him, he
really did and i miss him terribly.
i have tried to make good of the aweful situation he left us in and that is in remembering the value each of us possess as humans to not only
ourselves, but more importantly to those around us. when we feel like giving up, there are those who deserve for us to hold on and perservere through
the hard times.
and for the record, i didn't take your reply to be harsh. i just figured you were passionate about the perspective you viewed it all from. i am not
scared to look at things from someone else's vantage point.
(will finish answering your reply in another post

)
[edit on 11-7-2008 by justamomma]