My partner REFUSES to shower/bathe himself

reply to post by Lightmare

So I'm guessing that he leaches off you while sitting around making a mess of himself and the apartment. Correct me if I'm wrong, but thats the impression that I'm getting.

It also sounds like he doesn't give you much respect

You are surprisingly accurate.

~Ducky~

reply to post by TheDuckster


Sounds to me like there is really no reason for you stay around there. Nothing good can come from it. Take all that is important to you and leave the misery behind. I know its easier said than done but you will be glad you did it.

I would also recomend that you still try to get him some help even after you have left him. I say that because it really sounds like he is having a mental breakdown and he could become a danger to himself.

The sooner you take action, the better.

[edit on 3/28/2008 by Lightmare]

I am sorry to hear this. He needs help. If he won't admit he has a serious problem -- you may have to confront him in a more persuasive manner.

In my state all it takes is 2 witnesses in front of a magistrate to testify that a person is a danger to himself of others and they will bring him to county mental health for an evaluation. One could argue that 2 years of no hygiene is dangerous to one health. One more witness and your there, Even of they do not commit him to an institution it will get his attention.

reply to post by Lightmare


You know what? You're Right

Why should I stay around those that don't appreciate me, and always look for a 'tit for tat' thingy.

"I do this...therefore YOU owe me this or that..."

Good call Lightmare!

~Ducky~

reply to post by Bigwhammy


If you don't hear from me within the next while...don't bring out the cavalry...just yet.

Wait 4 weeka TOPS, then start asking around. if I don't appear on the boards...lolololol... then you'll know something is up

~Ducky~

reply to post by TheDuckster
Hey, we are all here to support one another, arent we?

I agree with some of the others Ducky, and i think he's depressed or suffering from some type of mental breakdown. Does he have a regular doctor he goes to? You could call that office even with the doctor /patient confidentiality, you can call and speak to the secretary and explain to them about this problem and maybe the doctor could bring it up.
I've called my husbands doctor before and they said they would take care of it. ( something unrelated).

Sounds like the Howard Hughes syndrome.

reply to post by TheDuckster


seriously let some people know who are close by and can come get you if needed... OK?

I don't know if I myself could stay with someone for that long if that person went that long without showering, or if that other person was doing what you mentioned in your other thread today. It is not for me to tell you what you must do with this person, but if I was in your shows, I would have to question my own sanity for still being with him after two years of bizarre behavior like that. But that is me, though. Like I said, it is up to you to decide what you have to do with him.

Actually his behavior won't change. Those willing to change (i.e. clothes) and at least shower/bathe wants to stay in the relationship and would make every effort to meet you halfway, at least. If this behavior is recent, then you should move on with your lives.
:shk:

Yes as I have said in the other thread if you care for this guy at all at least on a human level it's time to get him checked out! This is beyond what is normal and you and he needs this.

Your mental health is suffering because his mental health has languished.

Something deeper is going on here and he needs help. He needs someone that loves him to get him the help he needs. Your the one Ducky. You can do it. Pull that trigger and make a phone call. It will be ok in the end. If he can no longer take care of himself then someone else needs to do it for him.

Get him some help, this will help you. You deserve happiness. So make yourself happy and know that he is getting the help he needs right now and make that phone call.

I don't know what the laws are in Canada but here in Florida it works like this. If someone cannot take care of themselves or is in danger of harming themselves or others a loved one or relative can Baker Act them. I assume that Canada has a similar law in place for such things.

Call the police or a hospital and ask them for an evaluation. They should respond quickly in this instance.

You deserve a better life for yourself and your children Ducky

Oh btw just to make you laugh perhaps he needs this sign put up.



[edit on 3/29/2008 by whatukno]

I've got the perfect solution.

Introduce him to the joys of peeing in teh shower.

Uh, not that I'd know anything about that.

make him an air freshener necklace.

givenmay, when you man is dirty as in not clean or um, well, nevermind.

reply to post by Givenmay


I can only say this Givenmay...



If I were your man I would want not to never bathe myself.

Originally posted by TheDuckster
Ask me when the last time he showered? Ummmm don't...This is rather embarassing for me to bring up
~Ducky~

Darling Ducky?????
I didn't know you posted here too..
I promise I'll change... my socks anyway.

Originally posted by Crakeur
make him an air freshener necklace.

givenmay, when you man is dirty as in not clean or um, well, nevermind.

...lol, you mean a scented choker!
A super soaker 5000 might do the trick!
...it works for both dirty's!
I guarantee I could get someone in the tub, just with a lil sweet talking!
Bribing works good...Hehe!

As long as he does not blame others for his own bad smell it should be OK. Otherwise he will go through life sniffing others before they sniff him...

Originally posted by Givenmay

A super soaker 5000 might do the trick!

...it works for both dirty's!
I guarantee I could get someone in the tub, just with a lil sweet talking!

Bribing works good...Hehe!

Tell us more about this.

Detailed instructions might be warranted.


Accessories

Wow, sorry to hear that. I certainly hope you don't sleep in the same bed. Bed bugs do bite!

Ducky, go out and get yourself a bikini that only covers the bare minimum and tell him you're going in the shower and you have a surprise there for him. Tell him to get naked and follow you.

Talk dirty to him, lie, do whatever you have to do to pull him into the shower, give him a good soaping, do him a little favor, and get the hell out.
THEN
Still call the doctor because it will probably be another 2 years before he will brake down again.

In other words, use your powers to seduce him into the hot shower.

You can do it!

Good luck.

AGENT T- As long as you clip your toe nails and dont let them grow long I wouldnt have an issue with you.

[edit on 29-3-2008 by dgtempe]

simple solution: stop doing his laundry, and stop cooking him meals. I would probably even quarantine a section of the house, just for him.

Au Natural is one thing, not showering for 2 years is something totally different. That sounds gross, even by Medieval standards.