My partner REFUSES to shower/bathe himself

Depressed? That's what I think.

So do I.
That was my first thought when I read the OP.

Does he also sleep a lot (or maybe extremely little)?

Anyway, I know experiences can vary a lot, but do try to get him to take St. John's Wort pills or capsules (or whatever). I have seen at least one case where the effect could be described as nothing short of miraculous. (An elderly lady whose lifestyle was VERY severely affected by her depression. I always thought it took at least three weeks for the hypericine - the active substance in the herb - to start working, because that's what I'd been thought. But in her case, and she didn't even realise she was taking them - a long story - it started working in a matter of hours. And boy, did it work! She came out of the house and into daylight for the first time in three YEARS!)

Taking salmon oil also won't hurt him.
(Or you, or anybody, for that matter.)


Anyway: good luck!





[edit on 31-3-2008 by Vanitas]

Originally posted by TheDuckster
reply to post by Bigwhammy

 

If you don't hear from me within the next while...don't bring out the cavalry...just yet.

Wait 4 weeka TOPS, then start asking around. if I don't appear on the boards...lolololol... then you'll know something is up

~Ducky~

Not to be worry wort here but has anyone heard from Ducks since this last post
?

Originally posted by CthulhuRising

Originally posted by TheDuckster
reply to post by Bigwhammy

 

If you don't hear from me within the next while...don't bring out the cavalry...just yet.

Wait 4 weeka TOPS, then start asking around. if I don't appear on the boards...lolololol... then you'll know something is up

~Ducky~

Not to be worry wort here but has anyone heard from Ducks since this last post
?

Well, I'm hoping that she talked her guy into a shower and a shave and that they have been...eh..."busy" since then.

(What can I say? I'm an optimist).

reply to post by TheDuckster


Regadless of the problem and how much you may love this person, I will refer to my lack of common sense theme... LEAVE!! I really don't think any other aspect of this would change my mind.

It's been 2 years!! I'm sure you've talked with him about it... if he won't get help and refuses yours and simply wont take care of simple hygiene... then it is time to go. Hell, even once a week would be relatively acceptable (according to comedian Tim Wilson, for those who know). Why continue to be miserable with this person? Go... live your life...

Opens the DSM(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) IV...

I have gotten a lor of use out of this on ATS for some reason.... lol

Lack of self-care is a symptom of depression, schizophrenia, and a few other mood or social disorders.

The only thing is, what is his history of self-care. Was there a change or has he always been like that. I see you are from Ottawa, so bathing is generally a daily routine. If you were from a less industrialized nation this could be a factor but it seems not to be the case.

Is he exhibiting a lower level of communication?
Is he exhibiting a lower level of emotion, or seems emotionless?
Is he exhibiting a heightened level of positive(happiness) and negative (anger, sadness) emotions, or a fluctuation from positive and negative emotions?
Does he have a job, and what is his work life been like?
Is he a drug user? I mean this as any type of drug. Anything from cannabis to over the counter meds, to hard drugs.
When he makes a mess and does not clean it up, does he exhibit remorse?
Does he have issues with getting to know people?
Do you believe he can function on his own, or would he become homeless?

Those are a lot of questions, but they are crucial to understanding his issues. There is no need to answer them here, but think about them and try to help him get his issues resolved.

Also, his problem is severe; do not take it lightly. He sees no problem with not showering for two years, and that abnormal behavior is a major indication for mental problems.

If he finally does succumb to treatment, try to see what effect a placebo would do for him. SSRI's like Zoloft and Prozac show (despite the positive reviews from the mainstream) to have worse negative effects in several case studies and statistical analysis.

I hope I helped.

reply to post by DINSTAAR


Hi Dinn!

Thanks for replying. I'm actually from Burlington.

Is he exhibiting a lower level of communication?

Lower level? How so? Do you mean does he not speek as much to others or myself? He's more vocal, then when I first met him (12 yrs ago)

Is he exhibiting a lower level of emotion, or seems emotionless?

Not that I've noticed. Much more 'anger' and 'negative attitude' than anything else. He might laugh the odd time.

Is he exhibiting a heightened level of positive(happiness) and negative (anger, sadness) emotions, or a fluctuation from positive and negative emotions?

See my above statement.

Does he have a job, and what is his work life been like?

No job. When he was working, he was on cloud nine pretty much.

Is he a drug user? I mean this as any type of drug. Anything from cannabis to over the counter meds, to hard drugs.

Absolutely NOT! No one in our family uses drugs. myself included. The only thing he has a prescription for is 'Losec' for his acid reflux. He was diagnosed with 'Meniere's Disease' (affects hearing/ballance) well over 15 years ago.

When he makes a mess and does not clean it up, does he exhibit remorse?

The funny thing is...he's NOT a messy person. Never was. He'll be the first person to clean up after others. He helps out a lot with the housework, bless his heart; not to say that he does everything, but I can't label him as being a person that would live in a pig sty. Far from it.

Does he have issues with getting to know people?

No. If we were to go out anywhere or go to a 'family gathering', he's not a wallflower. He'll get his feet wet, and carry on a good raport with everyone around.

Do you believe he can function on his own, or would he become homeless?

Financial wise, at this stage of the game, probably no. Homeless? I doubt it. He'll end up under someone elses roof, be it friends or family.

~Ducky~