Post a Quote

Just for fun...

Red Skelton
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."

Will Rogers
"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected."

David Letterman
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

MAN I love that last one....

Semper

Go back to bed American, Your government has everything under control!
Bill Hicks.

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
Bill Hicks

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
Bill Hicks

The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.
Bill Hicks

I'll tell you, too, that's starting to depress me about UFO's, about the fact that they cross galaxies, or wherever they come from to visit us, and always end up in places like Fife, Alabama. Maybe these are not super-intelligent beings, man.
Bill Hicks, Comedy routine

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
Bill Hicks

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.
Bill Hicks

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
Bill Hicks

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
Bill Hicks

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.
Bill Hicks

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
Bill Hicks

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
Bill Hicks

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.
Bill Hicks

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.
Bill Hicks

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
Bill Hicks

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
Bill Hicks

Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Bill Hicks

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
Bill Hicks

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.
Bill Hicks

They also have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
Bill Hicks

All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks

Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
Bill Hicks

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
Bill Hicks

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
Bill Hicks

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks

500 pages.. if someone already got to Bill Hicks sorry for the double post.. But man this man was brillant!!!

[edit on 3-2-2008 by zysin5]

"Football is like making love, if you can't last 90 minutes like me, you wont win" Eric Cantona

"Collar turned up, back straight, chest stuck out, he glided into the arena as if he owned the #ing place. Any arena, but nowhere more effectively than Old Trafford. This was his stage. He loved it, the crowd loved him"
Roy Keane talking about Eric Cantona

"I prefer to play and lose rather than win, because I know in advance I'm going to win."
Eric Cantona

"It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is." Herman Hesse

the mass of the people don't really notice anything,
but just repeat whatever their rulers tell them."
- Protagoras by Plato (427-347 BC)

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.

If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.

reply to post by GradyPhilpott

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.

I remember Drill Instructor Sergeant Sherman telling us that one.....

Made me a little afraid of them although I set a few hundred....

Respect is probably a better word..

Also liked this one from the Marines...

"The Five Paragraph Order only ever survives the first minute of combat"

Of course the officers never figured that one out...

Semper

Don't look for more honor than your learning merits.



Jewish Proverb

I like that one Whaaa,

Walter Anderson
"Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves."

Chilton
"Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time."

That last one speaks volumes....

Semper

Eric Cartman:

"Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad."

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

~Oscar Wilde.

An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music.


Mark Twain

Is not a man more than a bank account and some testosterone?--Mark Miller

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do.
-- Dale Carnegie,

A Veteran -- whether active duty, discharged,
retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one point in his life,
wrote a blank check made payable to The United States of
America for an amount of up to and including his
life. That is honor, and there are way too many people in this
country today, who no longer understand that fact.--Anonymous



[edit on 2008/2/24 by GradyPhilpott]

reply to post by GradyPhilpott


I have to know who wrote that Grady...

Did you?

It is one of the finest quotes I have heard...

Semper

I actually got an email today with that as the signature.

I've heard it before, but I'm not sure where.

If I find out, I'll let you know.

J edgar hoover said this - The idividual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy to monstrous that he cannot believe it exists.

Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?"
Frank Zappa: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.”
William J. H. Boetcker