Things people never say.

" I like short squatty men with a beerbelly who belches and makes obnoxious noises, is inconsiderate, ugly, smelly and disgusting"

"I wish old people would drive slower"

"I love to "

"Oh, Michael Moore, you looking slim bro!"

"I can't wait to get root canal"

"Isn't kissing people with bad breath great!"

"thats OK, puke in my shoes"

"oh boy, melanoma"

"oh boy, I get to go downtown for questioning"

"don't worry about it, I can just use my tie as a tourniquet"

Originally posted by whaaa


"don't worry about it, I can just use my tie as a tourniquet"

that would raise some eyebrows....

"I can't belive I made it onto television. I'm on America's Most Wanted!!"

"Sure, you can puke in my new car"

"No really, sticking your finger in the light socket doesn't hurt. I do it all the time"

"Lets vacation in Baghdad this year..."

"Man, that Condi is a looker!"

"Ahhh man, I love my lawyer."

"You see my new car? Has a bottle opener on the dash"

"Do me a favor? Thanks, I just need you to hold this winning lottery ticket for me for a few days..."

"Mr Jones, this Koolaid tastes great!..." *Thud*

"Man, that Tom Cruise has it together..."

"The people on the internet are so nice and friendly..."

"What? No lightsabers on this flight? What if I remove the batteries?"





[edit on 2-6-2006 by skippytjc]

"Oh my Mr. Noriega, what lovely skin you have!"

"The nomination for best actor goes to Keanu Reeves"

Peace

Originally posted by dgtempe


" I like short squatty men with a beerbelly who belches and makes obnoxious noises, is inconsiderate, ugly, smelly and disgusting"

Mom????

"Hand me that piano."

"Honey, what don't we sell the kids, move to Columbia and take opium rectally?"

The man is the King.

'Honey why don't we sell the kids move to Columbia and take opium rectally.' - I thought it was things people don't say.

Nothing beats made in China.

Love the smell of smog in the morning.

Darling, why don't you knock me up while I'm passed out drunk.

"Windows? I love this product, Microsoft is an innovative company."

"I'm completely satisfied with the size of my 'unit'."

Originally posted by MrPenny
"I'm completely satisfied with the size of my 'unit'."

Man, I hope you're talking about a battalion.

"mom...you look like patrick swayze"


i try to imagine how my mom could react ...i guess the best reacton would be

"yes...i do...now take off that nose,michael"

*walk up to a person in line for a roller coaster with a handful of screws* " man that was one of the coolest rides ive been on.... i hope you have fun."< only problem is i would do that >

ok kinda of random now

does this finger taste different to you?
im afraid to cut the tips off of my vegetable tags... (weird one but i heard it from a friend)
hey your shoe's tied.
umm i know kinda random ones ill think of more later

"is that your gravestone?"

DING DONG! Hi, we just dropped by to watch your Home movies again!

[edit on 2-6-2006 by spacedoubt]

Oops, I farted. That was me everyone! Sorry I farted.

"I'll behave myself for the rest of my life"

"That car is too cool for me, I don't want it"

"Honey, I hope you can find a better man then me, lets not see each other anymore."

"There's the president! Lets shake hands with him!

"No, I DO NOT want that Playstation 3!"

"Honey, lets get a pet adult Lion!"

things people never say.. hmm. if those people were a bunch of mimes, they wouldnt probably say anything at all.

"i thing those kamikaze pilot wore helmet for the sake of safety standards." this probably came from george carlin..

"nucular or nuke-u-lar" except only....

There goes the Buffalo Sabres winning another Stanley cup.

There goes the Buffalo Bills winning another Super Bowl.

There goes hell freezing over again....