Things people never say.

"Oh man! That Buckley's cough medicine taste great!"

"No. I don't mind if your dog pees in my shoes."

"Yes officer. Those are my drugs in the car."



-tts




[edit on 6-6-2006 by The_Truth_Seeker]

For a start someone posted way back "england will win the world cup"

Course people say that and they will win..........................................hope.


Ok il give this a shot.

"George bush is going to save the world"

Ermm.

"money is the key to happiness and love"

"yep, it was me"

actually, skinning a cocker spaniel is very simple

now you are the kind of girl I would really like to degrade and humiliate

No, I kind of like it when my flight is cancelled and my luggage lost.

Now changing a tire in the rain; that's a hoot!!

At customs

Official person "Are you or have you ever been a member of a terrorist organisation"

Person answers "Yes you caught me, god and i thought you wouldn't ask that question, how silly i have been."

Another question

Offical person "Anything you would like to declare"

Person answers "Yeah you are seriously ugly"

At that point expect to see the official readying a rubber glove.

[edit on 6-6-2006 by ImaginaryReality1984]

Yee-Haw lets go down to the disco and show them how to line dance!

I'm sorry I can't take that money from you I'm a republican and have morals

I'm sorry I can't your money I'm a democrat and am already rich

Never to be Heard in a Rap Song... "Go to school, get a degree, wait till marrige, invest in a 401k, drive a station wagon, retire and move south to Florida, and save enough for when you die so you aren't a burden on your family."

Never heard in an American Country Song... "Go to school, get a degree, learn the truth, vote democrat, don't believe the Earth is flat, believe in evolution, and that Republicans aren't sent here by God."

Never to be heard in a Techno Song... Any words, it is made by a machine and is a series of beeps and booms.

Dude, Michael Jackson your nose is huge.

Lets go to Canada for the winter.

George Bush is my best friend ever.

D.A.R.E.: Drugs Are Really Exciting

(If it has been posted before, I am sorry, lol, Just making sure.)

"Lets start a fight on ATS, those mods are a real tolerant bunch."

" My I please have some of your preparation H ? "

lets the smile...

how about:

"Hi, it's the police... how may we protect and serve you today?"


or

"Aw, shucks, I don't mind if you have different opinions than I do... either one of us could be right."

" how much is that liverpool fc season ticket?"

"wake the baby up again..i love that whinging noise"

"yeah..invite your dad to the rave so he can show us how to dance"

"well son, now youve passed your test, lets take the family car out and see how fast it goes, but lets have a beer first"

[edit on 7-6-2006 by optimus fett]

"Hey Implosion, lemmie buy you a beer!"

"Of course I'm a great dancer. Watch me do the funky chicken."

"Look, we got the winning lottery ticket. Now let put it throught the shredder."

"Guess what? I just peed in the pool."


-tts

You know what; I think I'll paint all my cats green.

Officer, a full cavity search sounds wonderful.

It feels broken, but I think I'll be able to set my femur at home if I can get my kids to help.

Thank God for Herpes!

Look, I know that you've got brain tumor, but it just doesn't matter.

"Yes officer, I was speeding"

"Can you raise my insurance premium so I can have more coverage?"

"Hey dad, I wanna go to summerschool!"

"Could you help me out with directions to the herpes clinic?"

" I really like to eat live scorpion "

" Honey you forget to close the garbage cans...the sasquatch is back again "

"Sure, I would love to have another kid"

"I am going to do the dishes and laundry while you are out"

"Hey guys, come over this weekend and pull weeds with me" (this actually worked to get rid of some undesirables)

"Do my underarms stink?"

"Hey,you got a booger hanging on the end of your nose" (maybe, some people might say that)

"My alien abduction experience was actually subconscious stress from homophobia"

"I would like my sex less kinky honey"

"That bud tastes like puke"

"hey optimus, can i pay you in advance?"

"come on, lets climb that pylon"

"use the tazar on me again officer, make me comply"

"the portuguese work really hard, im glad they are such a productive race"

"if its a boy were calling it Hitler"

"im trading the porsche in for a SMART car"

"big brother always has such normal contestants"

"fancy another shot of mercury?"

I'm serious, I never had any trouble drinking the water in Mexico.

Yeah, I died on the operating table and went to heaven; It looked like.....Detroit.

Baby, you look so cute with that head wound.

If I could live anywhere in the world it would be................Lubbock.




edit: just cause I feel like it!

[edit on 7-6-2006 by whaaa]